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Song for this chapter: Tears Of An Angel Ryan Dan Check it out because it is seriously amazing.

BPOV

The week passed like any other. In school Edward and I stole secret glances at each other or the occasional brush of our fingertips as we passed each other in the hallway.

My time at home was spent drawing, doing homework, reading or most often than not talking to Edward over the phone.

On Tuesday Edward asked if I could go out with him again on Sunday. I explained that Charlie would be away the entire weekend so there wouldn't be a problem.

On Thursday Alice texted to ask me if I wanted to go shopping on Saturday. I agreed but it was bitter sweet: Sweet because I liked Alice and wanted to spend time with her, Bitter because I hated shopping and I'm sure Alice was not going to let me off lightly.

When Saturday morning came I was slightly nervous. Alice had agreed to collect me a 10: 00 am. I'm pretty sure that was for my benefit, I'm sure if it were up to Alice she would have been collecting me at 7:00 am instead.

We were driving in Alice's car.

I got dressed in what I assumed was appropriate shopping attire: A black t-shirt, denim jeans and a pair of black worn out converse...Comfy. Alice's gasp and from when she saw me as I answered the door told me that I was wrong.

She looked me up and down, shook her head and said to me.

"Come on, we better get going we have a lot of work to do!" I kept quiet and followed her out the the car.

On the drive to Port Angeles we asked each other questions. She asked about my art, my moving to Forks..I didn't give her the full story, I just simply told her that I needed a change..it wasn't a complete lie.

In return I learned that Alice was not adopted like Edward was. Carlisle and Esme were her birth parents and I also learned that Edward had a brother named Emmett who was also not adopted. I didn't know how I never knew Edward had a brother.

I discovered that Alice was engaged to Jazzy...or rather Jasper since that was his actual name, they were set to be married in three months and that I was invited to the wedding.

I couldn't help but smile at her, Alice talked so fast that she had to stop at times and take a deep breath before diving right back in. I loved it about her.

When We arrived at Port Angeles my nerves had dissipaited somewhat. I felt relaxed around Alice and I had a feeling that I might actually enjoy shopping with her.

Three hours later and I was really starting to deny ever thinking that, as I stood in yet another dressing room, trying on yet another dress that Alice had picked out.

This one was a baby blue sun dress that fell just below the knee and I rather liked it. I took it off and handed it out to Alice on the other side of the curtain and told her to add it to the yes pile.

The next dress I picked up made me cringe just looking at it,it was a pink boob tube and it was short. I groaned.

"Alice I am not even trying this one on." I shouted out waving the dress in the air so she could see which one I was talking about.

"What, Bella why not...it's sexy." I heard her shout.

"It's slutty." I shouted back.

"Hey I have the same dress in yellow." She shouted back at me.

I froze. Shit I just insulted her. We both remained silent for a few seconds before Alice shouted out.

"Gotcha!" That little bitch. We were both in hysterics and when we finally calmed down she said to me.

"Fine, you don't have to try it on if you really don't like it."

Two hours later, four bags of new clothes and a major dint in the money I had saved up we sat in a quaint little café/restaurant. I practically inhaled the pasta I ordered I was so hungry.

It was nearing five o' clock, we had been shopping for nearly five hours and my feet felt like they were ready to fall off, but I couldn't deny that I had had a great day.

I loved spending it with Alice and I couldn't wait to spend more time with her...just not shopping.

"So do you love Edward?" Alice broke my little conversation with myself. I choked on the water I was drinking.

"I..you..I, He..." I sputtered. She just smiled coyly.

"Come on it isn't a hard question to answer and I won't tell anyone Bella, Are you in love with him?" she smiled at me.

What kind of question was that I mean, I only knew him a few months, and we had only only been dating for one of those months. I couldn't love him...I mean I barely knew him. So that would make it impossible, Right?

" I...Alice. I really like him." I answered. She raised an eyebrow telling me to be honest.

"We haven't been dating long enough for it to be love." I said hoping she would drop it.

Not a chance.

"Oh Bullshit Bella, I know love when I see it. The moment I met Jasper I knew he was the one, I know that you are in love with him, you can't keep fighting it, it won't work."She reached her hand across the table and held my hand.

I stopped and thought for a second. Did I love Edward? I pictured Edward in my mind. His silky soft hair, and those deep passionate green eyes, the way his tongue sat on his bottom lip when he was deep in thought.

How his voice made me melt and his arms, his embrace made me feel safe, told me I was home.

Oh God...I was in love with Edward Cullen.

I love Edward Cullen.

I am head over heals in Love with Edward.

Oh My God! I am so screwed.

I looked up at Alice. she was still holding my hand.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" I asked barely above a whisper.

She squeezed my hand.

"He does, I know my brother Bella, I've seen the way he looks at you, he does love you." She sounded so sure. I wanted to believe her but I couldn't.

why would he love someone like me?

"You can't no that for sure Alice..What if he doesn't feel the same?" I asked again.

She squeezed my hand tightly.

"Then he is the biggest idiot to ever walk this earth." We both laughed. And just like that I felt better about the whole thing.

"Thank you Alice, for everything. I've had a lot of fun today." I smiled.

"Me too, we should do it more often, I forget how fun it is to have a girly day." I agreed with her.

She stood up from the table.

"We should get going, it's starting to get late."

We exited the restaurant and got into her car, and begun our game of questions again.

I must admit that I was a little sad when we pulled up outside Charlie's house. I'd had so much fun, I didn't want it to end.

Alice reached over and hugged me. " We'll talk soon,okay?" She asked. I nodded and said my goodbyes as I stepped out of the car and shut the door behind me. I waved as Alice drove off down the street.

The rest of the evening was spent doing the last of my homework, when that was done, I started on laundry. I was on my second load when I heard my phone ringing upstairs. I rushed upstairs to answer it on time.

I didn't even bother checking the I.D figuring it was either Edward or else Charlie.

I answered it out of breath.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" I froze at the sound of the voice on the other end. I already knew who it was but that didn't stop me from Pulling the phone away from my ear and glancing at the caller I.D Renee.

"M..Mom?" I asked, in shock that she had actually called back, even if it had taken her an entire week to do so.

"Who else would it be,Bella?" She asked. There was something off about her speech, she sounded like she was slurring her words slightly. I closed my eyes and shook my head before I asked a question I already knew the answer too.

"Mom,Are ..have you been drinking." I figured that somehow sounded less harsh than an outright Are You drunk?

"I've had a few glasses of wine, what's it to you anyway...it isn't any of your business." She spat out. I shook my head, she hasn't changed.

It was of course my business, she was after all my mother, and was drunk calling me but I didn't dare say that to her.

"Your right, I'm sorry I was just wondering." I mumbled.

"Well stop wondering." She snapped. We both remained silent.

I asked her what I've been wanting to know since I answered the phone.

"Why did you call?" I said it in a way that sounded like I was begging, and I was ashamed of that. I'd never been the most confidant of people and I was okay with that but when I was around Renee she made me feel like nothing, what little confidence I had always flew out the window in her presence.

It had always been that way, it was no secret that she favored Daniel, I'm not just saying that as a jealous Child I really mean it: When Daniel and I decided to get jobs to help pay the bills, mom went mad at Daniel, tried to convince him it was a bad idea, he didn't need to work and yet she had no problem with letting me find a job.

I remember once when we were about six we went to the beach and Renee bough Daniel an Ice cream but she didn't buy me one, or one time we both got all A's in our report card and Renee fawned over Daniel, telling him how proud she was but never once did she turn and say to me "Well done" Or "I'm proud of you." And those were only a few instances.

I don't know why she favored him or when it started or even if she realized she was doing it, I've never had the guts to confront her about it.

I snapped out of my thoughts when she spoke.

"You keep emailing and texting and then the other day you called." she said it in an annoyed voice. I wasn't completely sure what she wanted me to say.

"Yeah..I er.. I just wanted to tell you that I was okay and to check that you were also?" I asked it like a question unsure how she would react.

"Well stop." I pulled back from the phone when she said that and tears sprung to my eyes, I mean I knew that she didn't want to talk to me, from all the ignored emails,that's one thing but it's a whole other thing to have her actually say it out loud.

It hurt more than I wanted it too.

"I..I'm sorry, I was just.." she cut me off before I could finish.

"I sent you to Forks for a reason Bella, to get away from you and your constant need to email me and remind me you exist is not what I want." A tear slid down my cheek.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, trying not to sound like I was crying.

"All of those emails I know what they are, a cry for attention. My son is dead and all you can think about is yourself." The venom in her voice was clear. A sob broke from my throat and I clutched it with my free hand to stop anymore from following.

"N..No I'm not doing it for attention.." She cut me off again.

"My son is dead because of you!" She shouted. I couldn't stop the tears or the sobs this time, they broke free and I couldn't do anything to stop them.

Over the phone I just kept begging "I'm sorry,..I..I'm sorry, please, I'm sorry." She hung up after a few seconds but I kept the phone clutched in my hand up to my ear and continued.

"I'm sorry, please I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." I stayed like that sitting on the floor for God knows how long before my voice got too sore to continue and the sobs subsided.

Renee was right it was all my fault, it should have been me, not Daniel. It should have been me. And suddenly I was angry, More angry than I have ever been in my entire life.

I stood up from my spot on the floor and paced, I needed to release some of the anger but it wasn't working I wasn't calming down.

My fists clenched at my side and I screamed out "Why not me, I hate you, I hate you." I didn't know who I was talking to: God, Daniel or maybe myself, I don't know.

But the anger was coursing through my veins like lava and just like a volcano I was about to explode, I could feel it but couldn't do anything to stop it.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and picked up the closest thing to me, A shoe, I think and hurled it with all my might against the wall and a small part of me felt good.

Suddenly I was grabbing anything I could and throwing it. I walked over to my beside table and swiped everything off it with full force they hit the wall and I heard shattering then I pushed over the table itself.

I kept going like that destroying everything that I touched for I don't know how long until I lost all the energy I had and fell to the floor. I looked around me and my room was completely destroyed, All of my art supplies and drawings and paper lay strewn all over the carpet, my ipod sat on the floor at the farthest wall, my were cracked and broken in pieces all over the place, I looked beside me and saw shards of glass and a broken frame.

Oh no

I crawled towards the frame and picked it up the photo fell from it, the photo of Daniel and I and suddenly I felt so guilty. I picked it up not caring about the glass that surrounded it and I hugged it to my chest. I sat back on my bottom and sobbed harder than I ever have.

My breathing was all over the place as I shook, I couldn't breath, I needed someone, I needed help. I needed Edward. I couldn't breath.

I looked around for my phone and saw it sitting beside me, I grabbed it quickly hitting number 1 on speed-dial, begging him to answer. I couldn't breath, I needed him to answer.

When I heard his voice I sobbed harder.

"Edward, I can't..I can't breath..I ..Help." I didn't even know if I was making sense, I just needed him.

EPOV-

I was in the supermarket in Forks doing grocery shopping. I couldn't stop thinking about Bella, wondering how she was, if she got on okay with Alice today. I decided then that I was going to call her as soon as I got home.

I was walking down the isle grumbling to myself in search of twinkies.

"How fucking hard can it be for them to put the goddamn twinkies in the same place each fucking week.", Every week I came in something has moved and it's damn annoying as hell.

I was still grumbling when my phone started ringing.

I grunted as I pulled it out of my Pocket and checked the Caller I.D Bella. I smiled to myself as I answered.

"Hey Baby." The smile fell from my face as soon as she answered.

""Edward, I can't..I can't breath..I ..Help." I could hardly make out what she was saying she was sobbing so hard. Something was seriously fucking wrong.

"Bella, Bella what is it?" I asked completely panicked.

"I can't...I..Breath, I can't breath..Help." She was gasping for breath. Jesus Christ.

"Okay Baby calm down, Okay I need you to listen to me." I could hear her sobs quieting down a little bit.

"Where are you Bella, Can you tell me?" I asked trying to remain calm.

"Ch..Charlies...I..can't breath..I..I" Thank God Charlies was less than a five minute drive.

"I'm on my way okay, I'm coming." I dropped whatever was in my free hand and ran towards the exit of the supermarket, leaving the almost full shopping cart behind me.

I jumped in my car and started the engine while holding the phone pressed between my ear and my shoulder.

"Bella hunny, I need you to calm down, slow your breaths down." I cooed trying to relax her.

"I..Can't, I can't..help me, Please" I wanted to cry with her, she sounded so scared.

"I am baby, I'm on my way, I'll be there in two minutes, I promise." I kept talking to her as I rushed towards Charlies, completely ignoring the speed limit, let them give me a ticket I couldn't give two fucks.

When I pulled up outside the house I spoke into the phone.

"I'm outside now Bella, okay, I'm hanging up, I'll be right there." I hung up before rushing out of the car not even bothering to lock it.

I rushed up to the front door pulling the handle and letting out a relieved sigh when it wasn't locked. I looked frantically around the kitchen when I entered, she wasn't there.

"Bella!" I yelled. I could hear her scream Edward from up stairs and I ran as fast as I could, following the sound of her sobs straight to her room.

What I saw when I entered sent me into full on panic. The place was destroyed. Had someone broke in, was she attacked, what the hell happened?

Her gasps and sobs broke through the shock and I ran towards her.

She sat on the floor in hysterics and I quickly sat down beside her and pulled her into arms, clutching her, her back was against my chest, and she was squeezing my arms around her with all her strength.

"Help..I..can't.." I squeezed her tighter. She wasn't choking or suffocating. I'd seen this before, she was having a panic attack, she needed to calm down before she passed out.

"Shh, it's okay I'm here, Calm down, Breath for me." I begged.

"I can't" she sobbed.

"Yes you can, feel my breathing, can you do that, focus on my breathing." I instructed as I took a deep breath and released it slowly, knowing that she could feel it.

"Just focus on my breathing, that's it." I whispered in her ear. I kept doing that for a few minutes until her breathing eventually slowed to match mine and her sobs stopped.

She turned around in my arms so she was sitting sideways on my lap and looked up into my eyes.

I scanned her face, she was still crying, silent tears rolled down her cheeks. I leaned forward and kissed each cheek, catching her tears, Her hands that were clutching my t-shirt squeezed tighter.

I needed to get her up off the the floor, and make sure she was ok.

I stood up with Bella in my arms and groaned at the pain in my knees from sitting in the same position for so long. I placed her down on the edge of her bed, it seemed the safest place.

I let my arms drop to my sides and took a step back to inspect her but her hands clutched to the front of my t-shirt, not allowing me to move far. I glanced at her hands and gasped, they were covered in blood.

"Bella." I whispered pulling back from her and searching the rest of her body. She was wearing those little pyjama shorts and her knees looked cut up also, as well as her feet and a few cuts on her arm.

I don't think the cuts were too deep, It didn't seem like it was life or death. So I don't think she needed to go to the hospital.

"Do you have a first aid kit?" I asked her.

She nodded "Bathroom" She managed to croak out, her voice raw from crying, another tear rolled down her cheek and I wanted to cry.

I stepped back planning to go to the bathroom and get the first aid kit.

"Please don't leave me." She whispered her voice cracking on the last word.

"I'm not, I promise, I'm going to get the first aid box, you are covered in cuts." I whispered stroking her cheek.

she looked down at her hands and knees and whispered "Oh." As if she only just realized she was bleeding.

I rushed to the bathroom down the hall and opened all of the cabinets searching for the kit, I found it it the third cabinet I searched and then I ran back to Bella, not wanting to leave her on her own.

She sat in the exact spot that I had left her in and thank God she was no longer crying. I rushed up to her and kneeled down on front of her, carful not to land in any glass.

I picked up the wet cloth that I brought with me from the bathroom and carefully wiped all of the blood of her hands, when I was finished with that I moved onto her knees, the cuts didn't seem too deep, her feet were a different story. Clearly she had walked on the glass.

I cleaned off her right foot with no problem and then moved on to her left foot, which was much worse. Small pieces of glass were embedded in the skin. I reached over to the first aid kit and picked up a tweezers.

"I'm sorry hun, but this is gonna hurt a little bit." I stated gently. I removed the glass as gently as I could and Bella was great apart from the occasional flinch. There was a larger piece about two centimeters in length.

I was weary about pulling it out, unsure how deep it could be. I don't think you're supposed to pull something like that out right..isn't that what they say. Or is that only if you are impaled on something your not supposed to remove it.

Oh hell I don't know, but there is no way I'm risking it.

"Bella, I don't think I should pull this one out, maybe we should..." before I could finish the sentence she had looked down at the piece of glass, reached over and pulled it out.

"Bella!" I yelled at her. Looking down to make sure she wasn't going to bleed to death. It was only bleeding a tiny bit. I released a sigh.

"It's fine." She said looking me in the eye, giving me the smallest of smiles.

I wiped that foot off also before reaching into the first aid kit and pulling out the anti bacterial wipes, Bella flinched as soon as she saw them. I didn't warn her this time that it was going to hurt like a bitch, she already knew.

When I was finished torturing her I wrapped her hands, feet and knees in bandages to keep them clean. I squeezed her thigh to let her know I was finished.

"Thank you Edward." she croaked, her throat obviously still raw.

"It's okay, what are boyfriends for if not bandaging up fucked up feet." I joked.

She let out a little snort before leaning down to hug me. I didn't let go, we just held each other for a long time, eventually I looked at the watch on my wrist. It was almost nine o' clock. I glanced around the room, She couldn't stay here tonight.

"You can't sleep in here tonight." I said aloud.

She squeezed me.

"It's fine, I can sleep on the couch." She reassured me. What the fuck?

"Like hell you can, there is no way you are sleeping here alone on the couch, come stay at my apartment." I nodded, hoping she would agree.

"I..I don't want to impose." She mumbled into my neck.

"Impose..There will be no imposition, I would love to have my girlfriend stay in my apartment." I nuzzled her neck, praying she said yes.

I didn't want to leave her here alone, at this point it was pretty obvious that she had made this mess in her bedroom, and as bad as it may sound, I was afraid of what she might do if she was left alone.

I don't mean suicide or anything like that, I mean what if she has another panic attack.

"Are you sure?" She asked quietly.

"Positive." I answered.

"Okay." She whispered. I couldn't stop the stupid fucking grin from taking over my face. I pulled back from her and stood up.

"Okay, stay here, you have no shoes on and the place is covered in glass." I warned.

She nodded at me and I walked over to her closet before pulling out a pair of jeans and a random t-shirt and I picked up her chucks that she liked so much before heading back over to her.

"Anything else you need?" I asked. She shook her head no.

"Okay then, come on your chariot awaits,." I smiled leaning down and picking her up in my arms bridal style. She didn't complain as I carried her all the way down the stairs and out into the Volvo.

I sat her in the passenger seat.

"Where are the keys to the house so I can lock up?" I asked her.

She informed me that they were on the counter in the kitchen. I ran to the house and they were right where she said they would be. I exited the house and locked the door behind me and headed towards the Volvo.

Bella was staying in my house, I felt giddy, like a fucking schoolgirl or something.

I still didn't know what the hell had happened here, but I planned to find out, not now later, I would find out later. For now I just basked in the pansy ass feeling I was having in relation to Bella staying in my house.

It felt good.

A/N: This little breakdown was bound to happen. In case you haven't noticed Bella is going through the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Bella's just happen to be a little bit late and backwards she has been going through depression & Denial the entire time, now we see anger and bargaining and hopefully soon we'll see acceptance.

Reviews are like being pressed up against Edwards chest...so please give me one xxx