All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No Copyright Infringement is intended!
Song for this Chapter:The riddle ( You & I ) By Five For Fighting
BPOV-
Edward didn't ask me any questions on the drive to his apartment and for that I was so thankful because I wasn't sure how to answer. I sat in silence looking out the window at the trees, grass and sky which just ended up as a blur of green and brown.
I didn't dare look over at Edward, afraid of what I might see. Would he be disgusted with me?, He probably thinks I'm a complete psycho.
Can you blame him? My sub-conscious shouted at me.
You just destroyed everything in your room in a fit of anger, why would he want any part of that?
She or I rather, was right after all, why would he want me after what I had done? Look at me, I was talking to myself, if that doesn't make me crazy then I don't know what does.
I figured Edward probably already knew that I had done all that damage back there myself, he wasn't an idiot. So he probably already knows.
Yet he wants me to stay with him, in his apartment. Maybe, just maybe he doesn't think I'm crazy, he wouldn't ask me to stay at his apartment if I was crazy...right?
Or Maybe he just feels sorry for you, He would feel bad if he left you back their and something bad happened. He pities you.
The thought slipped into my head before I could stop it. Did he just ask me to stay with him out of fear and pity? I felt sick at the thought.
I forced myself to think of Edward and all of the conversations we have had in the past, all of the comforting things he has said and done.
No, He didn't pity me. Edward did not pity or feel sorry for anyone, especially not me. He cares about me. I felt silly for all my earlier doubts.
I dragged my eyes away from the Forks scenery of the passenger window and finally looked over at Edward which is exactly what I have wanted to do since getting in the car.
I looked over at his hands first. They sat on the steering wheel of the car, gently not angry or annoyed. My eyes made their own way up his arms, his muscled bicep, and his long elegant yet manly neck straight up to his magnificent jaw line. I nearly drooled.
It twitched which broke me out of my trance. I moved my eyes up past his lips and nose straight to his eyes and I realized he was looking right at me. His eyes were soft and gentle, I sighed in relief.
I gave him a small smile and gave him a look trying to say everything I wanted too. I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you.
And I did love him and I would tell him regardless of if he felt the same or not, he deserved to know. Just not right now, I wanted it to be perfect.
He smiled in return and his eyes sparkled and they told me he understood what I was trying to convey There was no need to be sorry, he would always forgive me and I'm hoping that the look he gave me also said I love You.
He reached over and grabbed my hand and brought it between us, squeezing my fingers before turning his focus back onto the road. I let out a sigh of contentment.
Everything would be okay.
When we drove up towards his apartment my jaw dropped.
For starters because who knew something like this existed in Forks, or rather just outside of Forks.
Second of all this place looked expensive as hell. Edward was a sub teacher at a public school, there is no way he could afford this.
I thought back to Alice and all the shopping she could afford at all the designer shops and that's when it hit me. The Cullen's had money, lots of money.
I looked again at the high rise building, that looked shiny and new, with glass windows at the front, it looked more like a hotel, than an apartment building. I looked over at Edward with my mouth still hanging open like a fish.
He didn't seem to notice as he focused all his attention on driving us below ground to the parking. I forced my mouth to shut, not wanting to look like a complete idiot.
When he parked and turned of the car pulling the key out of the ignition he turned to me.
"Stay here, I'll be right back." I nodded in return.
He hopped out of the driver side and ran towards the trunk of the car. I looked in the mirror to see him pull out my duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder before heading over to my side of the car.
He pulled the door open and bent down to scoop me up, I wiggled a little.
"Edward put me down, I'm fine, I can walk." I grumbled as he shut the door and pressed the button to lock the car.
"Well I don't know about that, I'm sure you could probably limp your way around but this is much more fun." He smiled at me.
I gave up the fight, Knowing I wasn't going to win and not really wanting to anyway. I let out a huff, pretending to be annoyed and he just kept on smiling.
Jerk,...stupid, perfect jerk...My stupid, perfect jerk. I couldn't prevent the smile although I tried to pout but the corners of my lips just kept lifting up into a smile. He chuckled at me.
We walked towards the elevator at the far end of the car park, well Edward walked, I got carried. We were the only people around so we were alone in the elevator. It was a shiny silver, so shiny I could see our reflection.
Once inside Edward walked over to the buttons. I frowned. There were a number of buttons for emergency, stop, hold the doors etc but there were only two buttons for the levels.
That made absolutely no sense because this building was so tall it must of had at the very least ten floors but there on the buttons was P for parking which is where we were now and then G which I assumed stood for ground floor.
Edward pressed the G. I turned my head to look at him as the elevator started to move.
"Edward, why is there only two floors?" I asked looking like an idiot. His brow furrowed and he looked at the buttons before looking back at me with a look of understanding.
"Oh...Because this elevator only goes to the main lobby...Reception, then we take the main elevator to my apartment." WHAT!
Did he just say reception...Main lobby. We had to go to the main lobby. I looked down at myself suddenly remembering that I was in my pajamas.
A ratty old t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. I was covered in bandages. God only knows what my hair looks like and Edward was bloody carrying me in his arms...and we were about to step out into the god damn main lobby of a seriously expensive and posh apartment building.
SHIT!
Before I could tell Edward to forget it, That we should go back down stairs and sleep in his car I heard the unmistakable ding sound of the bell that signals your arrival at the right floor and suddenly the doors opened and I wanted to die right there.
Edward stepped out of the elevator without a care in the world, while I was about to have a panic attack. I looked around and everything was shiny metal and marble.
The roof was painted white with elegant brown and gold swirls and circles and I saw more than one chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
The room was large and open, to the left was the main entrance which was done in all glass and had one of those big twisty door things that you only see at the most expensive places.
A man in a black uniform with gold on the cuffs of his sleeves and a hat on his head stood at the entrance, Jesus they had a doorman.
To the right at the end of the room sat the reception desk made of marble, behind it stood two people: A tall man with a dark complexion and almost black hair and beside him sat a woman. She was thin, with shoulder length blonde hair and completely perfect make-up.
When Edward stepped out of the Elevators I noticed a man or rather a security guard who stood watch. He nodded at Edward, obviously recognizing him.
Edward started walking towards the reception desk and I noticed that all heads were turned towards us. I felt myself blush.
I felt like I'm sure Vivian did when she first entered the hotel in Pretty Woman. Except for the hooker part of course. I wasn't a prostitute and yet I felt just as out of place.
I burrowed further into Edward hoping not to be noticed...it was already too late of course. The man and woman behind the counter looked away from us, They looked at one another with raised eyebrows before turning back to stare at us.
The woman looked me up and down before giving me a hard stare that clearly said what is someone like her doing here with him. I burrowed further into Edwards t-shirt and in return he squeezed me tighter.
When we reached the desk the woman turned her harsh eyes away from me and looked at Edward with a completely different expression.
"Mr. Cullen..." She almost purred at him. Edward tensed at the sound of her voice.
"Jane." He said in a rather formal tone. Thank God he doesn't like her.
"What Can I do for you Mr. Cullen." She said, both Edward and I did not miss her innuendo.
"Are there any messages for me?" Edward asked, straight to the point.
"No sir, not yet, anything else I can do for you?" She asked leaning way too far over the counter for it to be appropriate. The top button of her blouse was open and her breasts pushed together as she leaned forward for all to see.
Slut. I almost screamed in my head!
"yes actually there is.." Edward said coolly.
"This is Bella Swan, she is a guest of mine, I want it to be recorded that she is allowed entrance to my apartment when ever she desires, without question is that understood." He said completely ignoring her advances and her breasts.
Just like that I felt better, less self conscious. That was my boyfriend mine and even with a pair of breasts that were clearly fake practically thrown in his face his attention still remained on me.
I sat up straighter in his arms and looked Jane in the eye, giving her a smile that said Hah, Back off bitch, he's all mine!
She bristled as if she couldn't believe that he didn't even look at her tits once.
"Yes sir, I'll put that down on record right now, have a good evening." She said sourly, clearly we had been dismissed.
I chuckled to myself and smiled up at Edward.
"Thank You Jane" He called over his shoulder as we walked towards the elevator that would bring us to his apartment.
When we entered the elevator he took a key from his back pocket and put it into a slot on the panel with all of the buttons. He twisted it to the left before pressing number 16, which just happened to be the top floor.
Wasn't the top floor of places like this like big huge places, penthouses or whatever they liked to call them. Holy shit, Edward really had a lot of money.
When the ding chimed and the doors slid open we entered a hallway with only one door to the left and at the opposite end of the hallway, to the right sat another door.
This wasn't like other apartments where you had a number of apartments on one floor, there was only two and I'm guessing they were huge.
Edward carried me to the door on the left. The door was plain white and 16A was etched in gold. He placed the same Key he used in the elevator into the lock on the door, twisted and pulled the key back out before twisting the door knob and pushing the door open with his foot.
It was a little bit of a juggle to do with me in his arms and I couldn't help but chuckle at him. He smiled as we entered the apartment and he kicked the door shut behind him.
I had yet to look away from his eyes.
"Welcome home." He whispered. Home I liked the sound of that. I shook myself out of it and looked around the apartment. My mouth dropping open.
We appeared to be in a living room which was definitely bigger that the one in Charlie's walls were cream and a few paintings hung there in browns and beiges, the odd bit of rusty orange.
A large flat screen television hung from the wall at the far end of the room and beside it sat a large set of shelves that housed tons on DVDs. Two Large golden lamps stood at each end of that wall.
There was a large window on the wall straight ahead to allow in light and there in the centre of the room sat a large chocolate brown suede couch.
The room was so elegant and beautiful that it really seemed like there was no way Edward had decorated it, it looked like it had been done professionally.
I looked at Edward to see him looking around the room, shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably.
"Eh...Esme...My mom, she eh, decorated most of this place." He said shrugging.
"She is very talented, its beautiful." I answered honestly.
He looked away from the room and directly into my eyes.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"Yeah, it's modern with a touch of old, the colors are warm and inviting, the entire layout is extremely elegant and yet comfortable, it's ...homely." I said.
He smiled a brilliant smile.
"I'm really glad that you like it." He murmured leaning in to peck me on the lips. He pulled back and I pouted.
"I really really really like it Edward." I continued pouting.
"Well in that case." He smiled at me before leaning in and giving me another kiss, this one was much deeper and lasted much longer.
When we finally managed to pull our lips apart me were both panting.
"Care for a tour?" Edward asked giving me that crooked smile, as if I'd ever say no. He gave me a tour of the apartment, refusing to let me walk around. I seriously don't know how his arms weren't killing him.
The rest of the apartment was just as beautiful as the living room. The kitchen was all stainless steel and had everything a chef could ever dream of, I nearly cried when I saw it , it was so beautiful, I could picture myself cooking in there.
The guest room was white and pale green and it was absolutely perfect. It had a double bed, a wardrobe and a bedside table not to mention it's own en suite that was done in matching colors.
The en suite had an amazing jet shower that I seriously wanted to try out.
Edward also had an office/Library. The walls were a dark red and one wall was taken up by bookshelves that housed well over a hundred books. The large mahogany desk in the centre of the room matched the bookshelves and it had a large red padded twisty chair to go with it.
I could picture Edward sitting there reading a book or correcting papers and it made me flush.
But above all the rooms, Edwards bedroom was my favorite Because it was the room that was mostly him. It was the only room that he decorated himself.
He showed it to me last. It was large and the walls were dark blue, almost navy, one wall was made completely of glass and the view was magnificent, another wall was taken up by a sound system and cases beyond cases of CDs.
The bed clothes were pale blue and white with designs and the material looked extremely soft. His wardrobe was mahogany as well as his bed side table where a photo of him with Alice and I assumed Emmett, Esme and Carlisle sat.
Numerous photo's hung on the walls. Ones of him and Alice as well as Emmett, Carlisle and Esme. I looked at each and every one of them, he told me the story behind some of them.
He froze when we came to a picture of a couple who were in none of the other photographs.
I studied the people closely. The woman had long almost bronze hair and a kind smile, while the man had brown hair, high cheekbones and stunning green eyes. These were Edwards parents.
"That's my parents...my biological parents." He murmured, staring at the picture. I squeezed his arms that were around me.
I looked down at him, I wanted to comfort him but I couldn't do that from my position.
"Will you put me down, your arms must be starting to hurt." I whispered into his ear. He complied, gently putting me down onto my feet, looking closely into my eyes. I flinched when I tried to put pressure on my left foot, my cuts still stinging.
Edward flinched as well before picking me back up and carrying me towards his bed sitting me on the edge and sitting beside me.
"Will you tell me about them?" I asked, pulling his hand into mine, resting it on my knee. I played with his fingers as he told me how his mothers name was Elizabeth and she always smelt like cookies, because every day she would cook a batch for when his father came home.
He said that she had the most beautiful voice ever and that when she smiled she had dimples that made it impossible not to smile also.
His father Antony was a business man, he worked hard and long hours but despite that he always made time for family, he refused to work on Sunday, that was Father Son day and nothing ever stopped it from happening.
He taught Edward to play baseball, and football. Antony loved his family and adored his wife above all else.
He spoke about the accident, how sad and scared he was when they were gone, how lonely he felt until Esme his aunt, his mothers sister and Carlisle took him in.
They had one son already Emmett but due to complications during birth Esme was unable to conceive again and how When his parents died they took him in with open arms, two years later they adopted him and Alice came along.
She was adopted also and he loved her from the moment he first met her.
"You all love each other so much." I whispered. At this point we were both lying down on his bed facing each other, so close together that I could feel each of his breaths.
"We do, I'm so very lucky to have them, I don't know where I would be without them." I snuggled closer to him, pressing my face into the crook of his neck laying a kiss there, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.
"What happened today Bella?" He asked gently. I knew that he was referring to the incident earlier at my house. I didn't panic when he asked the question, I knew sooner or later he was going to ask.
"I had a panic attack." I whispered. He squeezed me tighter.
"I have them sometimes ever since the accident." I didn't know what else to say.
"What happened?" He murmured. So I told him, I told him the full story from the beginning.
Daniel and I were twins, He was born first, so he was slightly older and never let me forget it. One day back in phoenix...it was a Monday and like everyday in phoenix it was sunny, so sunny. I'd had an argument with my mother, which wasn't a rare occurrence and I just needed to get out. I begged Daniel to let me borrow his car, I didn't have one. He agreed that I could borrow it and drive only if I took him with me, so I agreed. He sat in the passenger seat and it was the biggest mistake, I could of ever made, making him sit there while I drove.
We had been driving around for about fifteen minutes, just driving, going nowhere. I was still so mad at her, I was fuming. Daniel tried to talk to me tell me that it was just who she was, she had a few drinks and she was being a bitch, tomorrow she'd feel bad about it. He told me I should just forget about it, that we were family and that's what family did. He was right of course but I was just so angry. I snapped at him.
I told him he didn't understand because nothing he did was ever bad, whereas nothing I did would ever be good enough. He didn't know what to say because we both knew I was right. He tried to lighten the mood by teasing me about a boy I went to school with. But it just pissed me off even more.
"Shut up." I growled. Daniel laughed from the seat beside me and that just made me angrier. "I hate you." I yelled. "Your seriously the most annoying brother ever." I snapped. "yeah but you love me." Daniel laughed. "No, I really don't." I answered with venom in my voice I looked over to see him sitting in his seat with a cocky grin.
I was still angry but seeing him looking all smug and whispering "Yes you do, I'm your favorite brother, Your only brother. You have to love me." I couldn't help but smile. I ignored him. "I'm sorry jingle bells,come on forgive a guy." he smiled.
"No." I muttered.
"I'm your big brother, you don't have a choice, it's practically law that you must forgive your big brother."
I snorted.
"You are like ten seconds older than me it doesn't count."
"What, that's not true, I have a few minutes on you. That makes me older so hah. "He teased.
"Please forgive me jingle Bells." He pouted.
I couldn't help but smile at that, I never could stay angry at him for long. I was about to turn and smile at him but I never got the chance.
"Bella!" he yelled. I turned to look at him and I could see the lights of the truck, coming straight at the passenger side, straight at Daniel. He was looking straight at me, staring into my eyes and I could see how scared he was, in those split seconds, I saw fear like I had never saw it before. The truck hit and everything went dark.
"I woke up in the hospital two days later and Charlie was there to tell me that Daniel was dead. Renee couldn't even stand to see me, she was at home, too distraught to get out of bed." I ended my story, tears on my cheeks.
It was the first time that I had ever told it in full, to anyone.
Edward didn't say anything, he just held me, perhaps about ten minutes later he spoke.
"And what happened today in your room?" He asked again.
I sighed.
"I received a call from Renee. I've been emailing since I came to Forks, sending the odd text, last week I tied calling. She hasn't been returning my emails or texts and I just wanted to know how she was, if she was okay.
She called my back but she had obviously been drinking, which she now does a lot of. She wanted to now why I called and she told me to stop." I looked up at Edward.
"There is something that I didn't tell you about my moving to Forks." I mumbled.
"What is it Bella?" He asked gently.
"I didn't decide to move here myself, Renee made me move...well asked me to move." I muttered.
"What? Why would she do that?" He sounded angry.
"At first I thought that she just needed time, that because we were twins I reminded her of Daniel too much, so I moved without too much of a fight but then today she told me the reason she asked me to move here was because she couldn't stand to look at me because she blames me, she blames me for Daniels death."
Her words from earlier rang through my head My son is dead because of you!
"She told me to stop trying to get into contact with her to stop reminding her of my existence. She thinks that I'm doing it for attention." I murmured.
I looked at Edward and he looked murderous.
"She told you it was your fault." He stated, his jaw clenching trying to contain the anger.
"Yeah, she said 'My son is dead because of you!' " I whispered.
Edward growled, he honest to God growled.
"If, I ever get my hands on that woman, I swear to God, I won't be able to hold back." He said to himself. I kept quite letting him work through his anger.
I hated that a part of me wanted to defend Renee. To say it wasn't her fault, That she was grieving, drunk, That she would have never said those things if she were sober but the truth is I don't know if she would.
I can't remember the last time she had been sober. Maybe she wouldn't have said it but she probably would have been thinking it.
After Edward calmed back down he pulled back and held my face in his palms.
"You know that it wasn't your fault, don't You?" He asked staring into my eyes.
"I..." I hesitated unsure of what to say.
His eyes suddenly became filled with sadness and I didn't understand why.
"Baby, look at me." He said sitting up, I did the same and he grabbed my hands in both of his.
"This is not your fault, that day was not your fault. It was an accident " He said it with so much force that I know he believed it whole heartedly.
"I shouldn't have been driving, if I had stayed at home, or if I let Daniel drive he would be here." I said my voice quivering.
"Your right, If Daniel were driving he would be here, but you wouldn't, you would be dead and Daniel would be living with the guilt that you are now. Guilt can eat you alive Bella."
I would never want Daniel to have the guilt that I felt, I know how much it hurt and I would never want anyone to feel that way.
"I just have so many regrets." I almost sobbed.
"I know you do and that's okay. I have regrets about my parents too Bella. I know you have a lot of regrets and that's fine, everyone does but don't feel guilty for living, for surviving. If there is one thing I believe it's that we should never wish for things to change because I believe that things happen for a reason, even if at times there doesn't seem to be a point, there always is."
He said sincerely.
"But how can you believe that Edward, how can you believe that there was a reason your parents died or that Daniel is dead, what possible reason could make that okay." I asked.
"Nothing makes it okay Bella, It's not fair that they are gone...it's just the way that it is, it's life...it's never fair or okay but if my biological parents had never died, I never would have had Esme and Carlisle. I'd have no Alice or Emmett. I wouldn't be the person that I am right at this moment, I'd be someone completely different.." I would never want Edward to be someone else...that would be terrible.
"As for Daniel's Death, You would never have moved back to Forks, you would never have gotten the opportunity to spend time with your father and I would have never met you Bella, we would have never met. You have a whole life ahead of you, of people you have yet to meet and each person you meet, you will change their life somehow, you will have an impact be it good or bad, but I believe that all of those things were meant to happen. We were meant to happen Bella. So don't ever wish that it was different."
He was so right, in everything he said. I would never wish that I had never met Edward, I can't imagine my life without him.
"Sometimes I just can't help but feel guilty, sometimes I just can't stop it." I murmured.
"I know baby, so you just have to keep reminding yourself that it was not your fault, You are just one person. It was not your fault." he stroked my cheek.
it wasn't my fault. It was not my fault. It felt good even just to think it to myself.
I wanted to believe Edward and a part of me did, rationally I knew that it wasn't my fault, but there was still some guilt left behind and I suppose the only thing to get rid of it would be time.
I didn't feel completely guiltless, there were still some things I did feel guilty about but for the first time I felt like Renee was wrong about me. It was not my fault that Daniel was dead.
"It is not my fault." I whispered. Edward stroked my cheek again.
"No baby, It isn't your fault." He whispered back.
"It's not my fault." God the relief I felt at saying it out loud. I felt as if a huge weight had been taken off of my shoulders.
I didn't want to stop.
"It's not my fault, it's not my fault." I kept saying it and Edward reached up to wipe away my tears, kissing my cheeks.
I hugged him to my chest.
"It's not my fault Edward, It's not my fault." Suddenly I was smiling through my tears because I was so happy, I felt so light. He joined me in my laughter.
"God, I love you, your amazing." He froze the moment he said it, so I knew for a fact he hadn't meant to say it aloud.
I had two choices :
One. I could ignore it and pretend I didn't hear it.
Two. I could say it back.
I already knew what I was going to do. Edward Loved me...He was in love with me. Oh God he actually loves me.
"Say it again." I whispered.
He squeezed me in his hug.
"I love you." He whispered in my ear.
I pulled back from him and he seemed panicked for a second before I launched myself at him, kissing every available surface of his face.
"Oh God, I love you too, I love you too Edward." He grabbed my head with his hands and pulled my lips towards his. Our kiss was frantic and oh so passionate.
He sucked my bottom lip between his lips and I in return bit his top lip gently. He groaned it sent butterflies to my stomach. Our lips fought each other for dominance before I gave in, I'd always give in.
I could feel our teeth hitting each other as we tried to get closer. It was impossible but that didn't stop us from trying.
I was running out of air, I tried sucking in breaths between our locked lips but it didn't work, Edward seeing my struggle pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine.
We were both panting. Eventually when our breathing calmed he leaned in and pecked my lips. Saying "I love you." as he pulled away.
"I love You too." I smiled.
We moved back up the bed sitting against the headboard, staring into each others eyes with the goofiest smiles on both of our faces.
His brow furrowed.
"Bella, You never actually told me what happened today, with your room." He asked.
I laughed because he was completely right. It was the very first question that he had asked but I got side tracked.
"Sorry, I guess you distracted me." He smiled at me.
"It was so worth it." I laughed and pushed his shoulder.
"It so was." I mumbled
I sat back, serious again.
"After the phone call with my mother I cried for a while and then I was angry. Just so angry about everything, I don't really get angry, and I've certainly never been angry like I was tonight." I stated.
"Why were you angry?" He asked.
"I was angry about just everything I guess, about Daniels death, being forced to move to Forks, Renee never really being there for me but what really pissed me off is that despite her never acting like a mother she feels that she can treat me like that.
I somehow expected something different from her, I shouldn't have and that made me angry.
For the first time tonight I saw how she truly feels and you know what Edward, I don't deserve it, the way she has treated me. I deserve better. I know that now.
The anger just took over and I needed to get rid of it somehow, I picked up a shoe and threw it and it felt so good...I guess it all kind of escalated from there." Edward was paying close attention.
"Can't really say I'm surprised, you had months, hell maybe even years of pent up tension and anger it was bound to blow up eventually. I just have one question." He said.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"Why the shoe...what did it ever do to you?" He asked it so seriously that for a couple of seconds I just sat staring at him before I eventually burst out into laughter. He joined in.
We laughed for a few minutes needing it, to lift all of the tension from the last few hours.
I was glad to see that even in the middle of a serious conversation like this one we could still make each other laugh.
"So after I calmed down and looked around, I felt extremely guilty. I had a panic attack and well you know the rest." He nodded at me.
"I'm glad that you called me." He said seriously.
"So am I." I really was glad that I had called him.
"What time does Charlie get back tomorrow?" He asked. I sighed thinking that I never wanted this moment to end.
"Not until 9:00 pm, I'm going to have to go back tomorrow and clean up the mess I made, before he gets back."
"I'll help you." Edward offered.
"Thank you, that would be great as long as you don't have anything else to do!"
"I have a few papers to correct but I can do those at Charlie's after we are done."
He leaned over and kissed my head.
"Okay."
"Are you going to tell him what happened?" He asked curiously.
I thought about it for a few seconds before sighing to myself.
"Yeah, I'm going to have to, I destroyed some of my stuff, he'll notice that it's gone and I'm covered in cuts that he will see, besides he has a right to know."
Edward nodded his head like he agreed.
"Good." He murmured.
He looked over at the alarm on his bed side dresser. It read 12:07 pm. Wow we had talked for a long time.
He turned to face me looking nervous all of a sudden.
"It's getting late we should go to bed...you can...em...stay in here...with me, if you'd like." I looked up at him, his nervousness was so cute.
"Or...if not you can sleep in the guest room." He rushed. I remained silent just looking at him, trying not to burst out laughing
"Or you...you could stay in here and I'll sleep on the floor...or the guest room..." he stuttered. I interrupted him before he could go into full on panic. I wanted to laugh at his cuteness but I refrained not wanting to embarrass him.
"I'll stay in here with you...in the bed, if that's okay?" I asked with a small smile.
"Yeah, that's good, yep." I couldn't hold back my laugh any longer.
He looked at me in astonishment.
"You were playing me...Getting enjoyment out of my awkwardness." He stated as if he couldn't believe I could do something like that.
"Yep, I sure was." I giggled.
"You are one sick puppy, Bella Swan." That made me laugh even harder and he soon joined in.
When we both calmed down he got off the bed and turned to me.
"I'm going to go get changed." He said pointing towards the bathroom. I just nodded as he walked toward his chest of drawers and pulled some things out. I watched from behind as he walked towards the bathroom closing the door behind him.
He was in love with me and he knew everything and he still loved me. It made me love him more. I sat in contentment on the bed waiting for him to return. I still couldn't believe I was in his apartment, in his bed. It was all so surreal.
The door to the bathroom opened and he walked out before switching off the bathroom light. My jaw dropped at the sight of him. He wore a plain white t-shirt and a pair of grey boxer briefs. What is it about boxer briefs that I found so appealing.
I mean I sort of found briefs slightly un-sexy and boxers were just boxers, nothing special, kind of boring but boxer briefs...wow it's like they were painted onto his skin. They clung to his muscled thighs.
And despite the fact that I could see from here that Edward didn't have an erection, I could tell Edward Jr was rather large.
Just how big would he be when he was hard, how would he ever fit, not that I planned on having sex tonight. I wasn't exactly ready for that yet, I was still a virgin.
But not virgin enough to know that Edward Jr was definitely bigger than average.
That was when I realized that I had been staring directly at his penis for god knows how long. I blushed before looking up to see if he had noticed.
His sexy smirk told me that he had.
"Like what you see?" He asked seductively.
"I...yeah...You.." Oh god.
"Look who's stuttering now love." He teased. That snapped me out of it.
"Shut up." I mumbled, still blushing. He laughed as he walked towards the door of the bedroom located opposite the bed, switching of the light.
The room was bathed in moonlight that filtered in through the glass wall, so I could still see Edward clearly as he walked towards the bed.
"Which side do you want?" I asked not knowing if he had a preference.
"Either, I'm not fussy." Was his reply. He was so perfect. I stayed where I was on the right hand side closest to the bedroom door.
I sat up as Edward helped me pull back the covers, we both climbed in before pulling them back over us. I shivered from the cold material.
We turned on our sides and Edward wrapped an arm around me and pulled me towards him. My back was pressed against his chest and I could feel each breath that he took.
So this is what spooning felt like. It was way better than I could ever have imagined.
"I love you." I whispered into the silence.
He wrapped both arms around me and I held his forearms with my hands.
"I love you too Bella, Goodnight." He whispered before kissing the back of my neck.
I snuggled closer to him.
"Goodnight Edward." With that I fell into the best sleep I've ever had. Nightmare free for the first time in months, wrapped up in the arms of the man I loved.
That was what heaven felt like.
A/N: Well here it is! This was by far the easiest chapter for me to write, it just flew right out of me. They have finally said those all important words and things are starting to look up.
A lot happened in this chapter and therefore it is the longest chapter I've written so far...Over 7,000 words. Yay me! So I hope you enjoyed it!
Don't forget to review!
xxx Aoife