All things Twilight Belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing...except for Maddie she's all mine :)

Song for this chapter: "Walking in a winter Wonderland" by Dean Martin.

B-POV

I never did get to see Edward that Saturday like I had hoped, instead I spent the entire time Charlie was away finishing my drawing for Edward. Once I finished that I started another, one for Edwards parents. I did it for two reasons:

1. I wanted to repay them for their kindness towards me the other day, for being so accepting of me

2. Because Edward or rather Esme had invited me to spend Christmas at the Cullen house.

I didn't know Esme and Carlisle very well, so I didn't really know what I could buy them. I figured they would appreciate something that I put time and effort into, something one of a kind just for them; Besides Esme had expressed an interest in seeing my Art.

I was excited to be spending Christmas with Edward, this would be our first holiday together, as we were apart for thanksgiving because we weren't dating that long and I decided it was important for me to spend it with just Charlie on his own.

The day's leading up to Christmas were spent shopping for gifts: Charlie's and the rest of the Cullen's. It was extremely hard to buy gifts for everyone, I wanted to buy something meaningful for everyone but at the same time I didn't know everyone that well, so I didn't want something too personal. I eventually found what I was looking for.

The day before Christmas Eve…the eve of Christmas Eve I suppose, was spent with just Charlie and me. It was nice, relaxing, we sat in the living room and watched baseball and ate pizza. Was it my idea of a fantastic time…no but really I was just happy to spend time with Charlie; I could have cared less what we were doing as long as we were together.

In all honesty though it didn't really feel like Christmas was coming, Charlie wasn't big on decorations, he'd made a bit of an effort by buying a little miniature tree, and I mean really miniature. I appreciated it though because I knew he'd done it for me. Charlie never was big on Christmas that was always more of my Renee's thing.

As for the Cullen's, well Charlie's bare house was a stark contrast to the Cullen's, where Charlie's had a tiny tree, the Cullen's had a massive one, nearly seven foot in height. Its decorations were gold and a few were clearly handmade by children: Alice, Edward and Emmett I would imagine. It was strung with fairy lights that reflected off the decorations of beads and crystals. It was of course perfectly arranged.

It was elegant yet homely and I knew that Esme must have been the one to do it. As for the rest of the house, well it was clear that Alice had a hand in that. Everywhere I looked I saw fairy lights, mistletoe, and holly, red and gold ribbon. It looked as if Santa himself had come and threw up…I loved it.

I spent Christmas Eve in the Cullen house. How had I managed to convince Charlie to allow that? You ask. Well the truth is I hadn't really, not fully anyway. I'd asked and he had frowned, I'd explained the situation and told him that it was Esme and not Edward that had invited…that wasn't completely true but honestly there was no way I was ever going to tell Charlie that Edward wanted me to spend the night more than Esme ever would.

At first he'd said no and I wasn't going to push him, I knew when Charlie set his mind to something there was no changing it.

"Bells, I've got this Christmas off work, you know that rarely happens, so I want to spent this Christmas together, just me and you." That was his argument and I couldn't disagree with it.

I'd resigned myself to tell Edward that I wouldn't be spending Christmas with him, however not two days after my conversation with Charlie did he receive a phone call that changed our plans.

I knew as soon as he hung up the phone that something was wrong.

"Bells, that was Mark, one of the deputies, his wife has gone into labor and he won't be able to work over the holidays. I have to go in I don't have a choice." I have to say I was a little bit disappointed, I was starting to like the idea of spending Christmas with my dad.

"It's okay dad, I understand. Really, I'll be fine on my own." I tried to reassure. Charlie frowned.

"I don't want you to spend Christmas alone Bella…If the Cullen's offer still stands, I suppose you could go." He shrugged. After that I didn't feel so disappointed.

That was what led me to the Cullen's house and as we sat around the fire and Carlisle read "The night before Christmas, I couldn't help but feel delighted that they had included me. I'm sure Christmas would have been terrible on my own.

That thought led me to think about things I really shouldn't have, Christmas as a child, with Daniel. It was in that very moment that it struck me. I was never going to spend another Christmas with Daniel.

For some reason this thought hurt more than the thought of not another birthday or thanksgiving or Halloween with Daniel. I can't explain why it did. Perhaps it was because as children we thought there nothing better than the Idea of Christmas and Santa and all the magic that went with it.

Perhaps it was the idea that never again would we stay in our rooms, awake until all hours of the night until we heard mum head to bed before sneaking into each other's rooms and fight to stay awake so we could hear Santa on the roof, until eventually we couldn't keep our eyes open any longer.

Maybe it was just one of those days were I missed him for no reason at all, I don't know but what I do know is that it suddenly felt as if the world had turned upside down and nothing would ever be right again.

As Carlisle read "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night." A single tear slipped out of my eye, another one was about to follow.

I stood up abruptly to go to the bathroom and I heard Esme gasp.

"Bella dear, what's wrong?" I was about to lose it, I needed to get away now before I made an even bigger fool of myself.

"I'm sorry Esme." I murmured as I all but ran from the room. I heard someone stand up as if to follow.

"No Mom, don't. I'll go." I heard Edward whisper gently. Once I was upstairs and behind the closed door I let loose. I sobbed so hard my shoulders shook. I kept my hand over my mouth to try and keep quiet. A gentle knock on the door interrupted.

"Love, it's me open the door please." II didn't hesitate to fling the door open. Edward stood there with furrowed brow, looking all concerned and as soon as he had stepped through and closed the door behind him he pulled me into his arms.

I sobbed harder, just letting go. I knew I could with Edward. He pulled me to the toilet seat and closed the lid before sitting down and pulling me into his lap. I was surrounded by him and the comfort it provided was brilliant like hiding under the covers as a child, knowing that as long as you stayed right there you were safe. With Edward I was safe.

He stroked my hair and shushed me gently. Every now and then he would whisper comforting words in my ear. "You're safe, I've got you, I love you so much Bella." It didn't take long for me to calm down.

"I miss him so much." I whispered, clutching to Edwards shirt.

"I know you do. It'll be okay Bella." I didn't know if I believed him.

"How…It's been months and I'm still crying all the time, What if I never stop feeling like this. He is never coming back." Edward squeezed me to him tightly.

"No He isn't coming back Bella but he isn't completely gone either. He's still in here." He said pointing to my head.

"And here." He added, gently laying his hand atop my heart.

"You can't lose that baby, that's yours forever and it's okay to be sad. To want to cry all the time. My parents are dead a long time and there are still moments when I want to cry. It's normal to be a little depressed but if you feel that it's too much and you can't cope then you need to ask someone for help. I'm here." He whispered gently.

I loved him so much. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged tight.

"Your family must think I'm insane." He laughed at my change of conversation.

"No they don't they'll understand." I froze when he said that.

"Did you tell them?"

"No, Bella no. I wouldn't do that without your permission." He rushed. I nodded feeling foolish for having doubted him.

"I did tell my parents that you had lost someone close to you, but that's all. I didn't say anything else."

"Thank you."

"I do think you should tell them soon though. They may be able to help you, especially Esme." I agreed with him, I think Esme would be an excellent person to confide in.

"I will tell them but not now…Not during Christmas." I explained.

"I understand, are you okay to go back downstairs?" He asked palming my cheek with his hand.

I nodded yes, before taking a deep breath and standing to look in the mirror. He grabbed my hand and together we walked back to the rest of the Cullen's.

We spent the remainder of Christmas Eve around the fire with popcorn and movies. After the kids were put to bed we started placing all of the present under…and around the tree.

It was nearing one O' Clock by the time we finally got to bed. I fully expected Esme to lead me to a spare bedroom and to say I was surprised when she left Edward and I outside his room was an understatement.

"Good Night you two, try to get some sleep. We'll be up bright and early in the morning no doubt." She pulled me into a gentle hug before heading off down the hall and into her own bedroom.

I turned to look at Edward, my mouth agape. He chuckled.

"We're both adults here Bella. Esme and Carlisle don't have a problem with us sleeping in the same bed." I closed my mouth.

"Wish I could say the same for Charlie, somehow I think you would be sleeping on the doorstep before he let you into my bed."

"Come on." He grinned, pulling by the hand towards his bed.

I glanced around the room. It was similar to his room at his apartment, the same color scheme as well as the family photos. I immediately felt at home. Beside the bed sat my backpack which contained my pajamas and toiletries. I picked it up and waved it on front of Edward.

"Bathroom?"

"Through that door." He nodded towards a door on the opposite side of the room.

I didn't bother having a shower, not really in the mood and far too eager to get back to Edward. So I simply put on my pajamas brushed my teeth and washed my face before exiting the bathroom.

The sight of Edward in nothing but a pair of boxers made me freeze in my tracks. His head shot up and he smirked, obviously seeing my staring…not to mention my flushed face.

He walked passed me and opened one of the drawers of a dresser and pulled out a white t-shirt before pulling it on over his head. For some reason I found him putting on a shirt just as sexy as him shirtless.

He walked back towards the bed and pulled back the cover before turning to look at me.

"Are you coming?"

I blushed realizing that I hadn't moved from the same spot and that I was still staring. I nodded, too embarrassed to speak.

I slipped under the soft cotton covers of Edward's bed and snuggled up. He reached over and switched off the lamp before wrapping his arm around me. It wasn't long before I fell into a deep sleep surrounded by Edward.

Esme wasn't kidding when she said we would be up early the next morning. I awoke to squeals and a weight on my chest. My eyes shot open to see Maddie lying on top of me, as soon as she realized I was awake she started bouncing and squealing.

"Santa came, Santa came. Come on Bella you has to get up." I heard a groan from beside me and turned to see Edward with his head buried under his pillow.

"…Too goddamn early." He muttered. I chuckled looking over at the alarm clock on the bed side table.

5:30 am.

"Uncle Eddie, Santa came. Comes on we have to get our toys." Maddie shouted climbing off me and onto Edward.

Edward pretended to be asleep, doing loud noisy snores. Maddie laughed. She then started to shake Edward as hard as her little arms could.

"Edword, stop being silly, Santa say's you have to wake up if you want to have presents." I chuckled at her, while Edward fake groaned.

He lay still for a second, eyes closed with Maddie sitting on his stomach. Just as Maddie was about to commence shaking him again, he sat up abruptly grabbed Maddie by the waist and jumped out of bed, throwing Maddie up in the air and catching her. She squealed with light peals of laughter.

"That's what you get for waking me up early Maddie moo." He continued to throw her in the air.

"Uncle Edword, you better stop before my tummy gets sic on you." I couldn't help but chuckle… I would have paid to see the expression on Edward's face as she covered him with puke.

But alas, he put her down on her feet.

"Go downstairs and start on your presents, we'll get dressed and be down soon." Edward ordered shaking Maddie's hair.

She sped out of the room like a light and I could hear the thump of her little feet as she raced down the stairs.

"She's too cute." I smiled at Edward.

He smiled at me before pulling me in for a kiss.

"Happy Christmas Bella." He whispered.

"Merry Christmas." I answered through another kiss.

We eventually managed to pull ourselves apart and get dressed before heading down stairs to start on presents.

The Cullen's had an entire routine planned out, although why that surprised me I can't say, I should have seen it coming with Esme's attention to detail, not to mention Alice's insane need to plan everything till it's perfect.

We started off with presents first. First we watched Maddie open her presents from Santa, then Carlisle and Esme gave their presents to everyone. Esme had given me a copy of Edwards baby-teen years photographs all placed in a beautiful handmade album (I loved it, Edward whined to Esme, asking "how could you do that to me?"

Carlisle bought me a dress that looked pretty damn expensive…although I'd imagine that Esme had more to do with buying the dress than Carlisle. They went around the entire family until they ran out.

Emmett and Rosalie went next, they got me a t-shirt that says Bella Bee and had a picture of a bumble bee with my face photo shopped on. I'd say that one was Emmett's doing, regardless I was in stitches laughing, jokingly telling Emmett that I would never wear it while secretly dying to try it on. I didn't fool him, he knew I loved it.

Alice and Jasper got me clothes, courtesy of Alice of course. A beautiful white sundress and a pale blue cashmere cardigan to go with it, they looked pretty expensive and guessing by the feel of the material I'm sure they were.

Edward bought me two things; an art pad, which wasn't just any old art pad but one that was clearly expensive, it was a bound hardcover and the cover was decorated in multicolored motifs. The second thing he had bought me was leather bound journal and an expensive fountain tip pen, when I opened the journal it read.

To Bella, my love, my life.

-Edward xoxo.

"I thought you might like to start writing, anything at; all stories, poems or maybe you could even use it as a diary" he shrugged shyly.

I reached over and pulled him into a hug "I love it, thank you."

He simply rubbed my back in reply. I pulled back and smiled. It was my turn to hand out presents; I must admit I was a little nervous. What if they didn't like my gifts?

I handed Esme and Carlisle theirs first: I painted a picture of the two of them. Carlisle stood behind Esme with his arms wrapped around her waist and he gazed down at her and she looked up at him, utter love and devotion in both of their expressions. I hoped that I could do them justice but I doubt I would ever have the skill to capture the strength of their love, it just wasn't possible.

Esme got teary eyed when she first saw it; clutching me to her chest…I guess she liked it.

Buying presents I discovered was a lot more difficult than creating them.

After a lot of fretting I finally bought Rosalie a voucher for a manicure and pedicure at a Spa. She just had I baby and I suspected she was probably tired and would appreciate the break, although with it being Rosalie I doubted she'd appreciate anything that came from me.

I was pleasantly surprised when she mumbled sincere thanks when I gave her the gift.

I got Emmett a DVD of some new action movie that him and Edward kept talking about the day of the BBQ, I also bought him a pair of SpongeBob pajamas because Edward had told me that Emmett loved SpongeBob...I could totally picture Emmett in his SpongeBob pajamas eating cereal and watching SpongeBob on the weekends.

Edward told me that Jasper had an obsession with all things Civil war, so I bought him a series of Discovery documentary DVDs on the Civil war that I hoped he hadn't seen before. He assured me he hadn't.

Alice was trickier. She was into all things fashion...more specifically designer fashion. The only problem was there was no way I could afford to buy something that expensive.

Thankfully Edward came up with the idea to both join together to get her a gift. We ended up buying her some Louis Vuitton Handbag that the sales lady assured us she would like. It cost a fortune and I could hardly afford to pay for half of it.

Edward paid for the remainder, although I suspect that Edward had so much money that buying the handbag by himself wouldn't have been a problem but there was no way in hell I was going to let him do it.

I spent a long time thinking of a gift for Maddie and Harry, I wanted something fun but at the same time practical because I mean, kids always get a load of useless toys at Christmas time. They'll play with them once and then never again. I wanted something great.

For Harry I bought a book made from soft materials, it had different animals from the zoo in all sorts of bright colors and different textures and materials.

I thought he'd like it and I was thinking that maybe Edward and I could bring the two of them to the zoo one day; this would help him learn all the different animals. I also bought him a little tiny pair of converse. I pretty much live in my converse and when I saw the baby pair I had to buy them.

For Maddie I bought a Mermaid Barbie, I made sure to ask Alice if she had one already, she didn't. I also bought her a little art set. It was a small little wooden box and it had everything that a young artist would need, paint's, crayons, pencils and so on. Art was something that was a part of me and I hoped that maybe Maddie would find the same amount of enjoyment as I did.

She squealed when she saw the art set and asked me to help her paint and draw later on. I promised I would.

Edward gift was trickiest of all, I had of course already finished the drawing of the two of us and I got that framed but I wanted to get him something else as well. It took a whole lot of stress before I found it; it was sitting in the window of an antique shop.

It was a pen; I know what you're thinking…a pen seriously? But it wasn't just any pen; it was a fountain tip pen and was black with white stripes painted on to make it look like a piano. It stood on a stand in the window and there beside it sat black leather bound notebook for composing music.

As soon as I saw it I recalled seeing the piano in Edwards's house and him telling me he doesn't play as often as he would like. Esme had mentioned that he used to not only play but also compose. I was thinking maybe he just needed an excuse to play.

The gift just felt right, it felt like Edward so I bought it and it wasn't by any means cheap. I could have bought an ordinary pen in the shop down the street and it would have been less than have of the price, but that wasn't the point. The money didn't matter.

He loved both gifts, but especially the Drawing of the two of us. I know it meant a lot to him that I had not only shared my art work with him but that I had produced a piece just for him. He promised to hang it in his bedroom.

I'd given Charlie his present already, I'd bought him some new fishing gear…it was slightly selfish of me, I'm ashamed to say that I bought it in the hopes that he might go fishing more often which meant I would see more of Edward.

But hey, it made him happy, it made Edward happy and it most certainly made me happy…it was a win, win situation.

After all the presents were opened and the living room was completely covered in discarded wrapping paper, I moved into the kitchen to help Esme with Christmas dinner; despite her protests.

I wanted to help; besides it made me feel like I was even more a part of the family. I smiled to myself hearing the squeals and giggles of Maddie as her and Edward played with her presents in the living room.

I was happy, I couldn't believe it, and without Daniel I thought this was going to be the worst Christmas ever but instead it was turning out to be one of the best. I had the Cullen's to thank for that…I had Edward to thank for making me so happy.

Eventually I ran out of tasks to do in the kitchen and Esme sent me out with a swish of her hand. I walked towards the sounds of Maddie's giggles, knowing that was where I'd more than likely find Edward. I was right of course and what I saw made me freeze in my tracks.

There Edward sat on the floor beside Maddie with a paintbrush in his hand as he stared intently at the children's easel on front of him.

I couldn't help but admire his furrowed brows and his little tongue that stuck out slightly in concentration.

I moved my eyes towards the paper which he was staring so intensely at. I tried not to guffaw, or gasp or burst out laughing, I really did but in trying to do so, I made a strangled sound which sounded like something a donkey would come out with.

Edward turned towards the sound immediately, and upon seeing that I was trying not to laugh he scowled.

"What Bella, it's not like we can all be great artists like you; lots of people are excellent painters." He said snippily.

I held my laughs in…just barely.

"I know that Edward but come on…I mean that, it's just, I mean…." I trailed of not knowing what to say.

Upon seeing his expression turn sad, I started to feel guilty, I tried to back pedal.

"Well really, it isn't so bad...its…different. Not bad at all for a beginner, you'll get better with practice. It's a great painting of a man sitting on a bench." I rushed, Edwards frown only deepened.

"It's supposed to be Maddie riding a unicorn." He mumbled. …Oh

"Really…Well now that you mention it…yeah I can totally see it's a unicorn." Edward stood up from the floor and walked towards me.

"I mean, your so talented at so many other things so it doesn't matter if it's not amazing, plus unicorns are really hard…I …." Edward's lips interrupted my mutterings.

He pulled back with a smirk.

"Baby it's okay, you can admit that its terrible." He nodded.

"What, no, you're no terrible." I answered. He raised an eyebrow.

"Well…Okay yeah you are really bad." I giggled. He smiled at me.

"But it's okay because I have you to paint unicorns for any of our kids."

I blushed. Edward wanted children…he wanted children with me. I smiled goofily.

Maddie interrupted our moment.

"Auntie Bella, come paint wif me, Eddie is no good." I threw my head back and laughed as Edward scowled again. You know it's bad when a small child tells you that you can't draw for shit.

I walked towards Maddie and sat down, removing Edwards painting from the Easel, determined to keep it for myself.

"What will I paint?" I turned to Maddie.

She scratched her chin and "Hmm'd" loudly.

"I wanna see me like Barbie." She demanded.

"Barbie, right." I said nodded, determined to do it, Maddie was not going to get some half assed stick figures, I was going to do a portrait from the waist up, wearing pink and maybe I'd even add some glitter.

I pulled out the oil paints, not wanting to use water color like Edward had. I squirted the required colors onto the palette and got mixing before starting to work.

I explained things to Edward and Maddie as I went along, they both seemed enthralled. I'm sure that Maddie didn't understand half of the things I was explaining but she acted interested anyway.

Edward was curious, constantly asking questions about this and that.

"It's called glazing, where you put one layer of paint over another, the paint is slightly transparent so the bottom color shows through the top color. It adds a better sense of tone and dept." I answered Edward as he questioned why I was painting over previous colors I'd already painted.

He nodded in understanding.

"You're really good at this you know!" He stated.

"Painting?" I asked.

"Well yeah of course but that's not what I meant, you're a great teacher." He smiled.

"Really? Thank you, I like teaching other people, helping them to understand art better." I smiled happy that he thought I was doing a good job.

"Have you ever thought of maybe having a career as an art teacher or something?" He questioned.

"I never really thought about it." I answered truthfully.

"Well you should, you'd be great."

I smiled, I could picture myself working in a classroom, teaching children to paint and draw and be free.

Before I could think any more on the subject Esme yelled from the dining room.

"Dinner's ready." I heard everyone rushing towards the dining room and I put the art supplies away before standing up and taking Edward's hand, heading into the dining room.

Dinner was amazing. Esme was the best cook I'd ever seen and the amount of food she made was ridiculous. I was so stuffed after it that I could hardly move, I forced myself to stand up and pick up my plate, getting ready to clear the table.

"Bella Swan, don't you dare think of cleaning any of that." Esme almost growled from across the table.

"You helped me cook, it's up to the boys to do the dishes, those are the rules." I nodded, setting my plate back down reluctantly, not wanting to offend Esme.

We chatted for a while around the table as the boys cleaned up. Rose even spoke to me once or twice, it was short and awkward but at least she was making an effort.

When the dishes were done Edward and myself returned to the living room to finish off the remainder of the painting, I got so into it that I didn't realize right away that everyone had joined us to look at me paint.

I blushed when I noticed them all staring before forcing myself to focus on the painting.

That's the way we spent most of the afternoon, painting laughing and listening to Christmas music. It was brilliant.

I finally finished the painting, making sure to write "Maddie Barbie" in big Glittery lettering at the top of the canvas.

Maddie nearly passed out with excitement. I managed to remind her that it would take a long time to dry because of the type of paint, that she would have to be very careful before I gently placed it in her tiny hands.

She rushed over to Rosalie.

"Mama Look, look what Auntie Bella did, it's me. I'm Maddie Barbie." She explained excitedly.

Rosalie gently took the canvas from her hands.

"I do see it's very pretty, we'll have to buy a frame and hang it in your bedroom, what do you think?"

Maddie nodded enthusiastically.

Rosalie turned to face me.

"Thank you Bella, it's very beautiful" She gave a small smile.

I managed to get over my shock and reply with a polite "your welcome"

It wasn't until later that night that I managed to discover what changed Rosalie's mind about me, or at least made her act nicer.

"I had a talk with her Bella." Edward explained as we got ready for bed that night. I frowned not liking the idea that Edward may have given out to Rosalie.

"I just explained to her that I loved you, how much you mean to me." He said softly. I melted when he said he loved me. I smiled shyly.

"I love you too." I nodded.

"I just don't want her to pretend to like me just because she doesn't want to upset you." I told him honestly.

"I know." He said sitting back on the bed and pulling me close to him.

"I can assure that isn't it, Rosalie doesn't pretend to like anyone, if she was doing it for me, she would at most remain silent and ignore you, She went out of her way to thank you and talk to you. It shows she is trying and that's all her." He smiled.

"Besides, she never hated you; she was worried about me, that I would get hurt. Rose is fiercely protective of the ones she loves. She knows you now and can see that you would never hurt me, the same way I'd never hurt you." He added.

I snuggled into his side, inhaling his scent. Content to be in his arms.

I was happy that Rosalie was trying to be nice to me; it gave me hope that perhaps in the future we could be friends; I'd like that very much.

"Thank you for making this a great Christmas Edward." I whispered.

"No Bella, Thank you for making these the best few months of my life." He hugged me tighter.

"Ditto." I murmured sleepily, utterly content with where I was. I couldn't remember ever being as happy and as content as I was in that moment, not even before when Daniel was alive.

A/N: Well here it is, I know I know it's a little early for Christmas but you'll just have to get over it and pretend today is Christmas.

Sorry for the late update, who knew college was so busy, especially studying English and Art History, it seems all I do is read books and write essay's. Not to mention we have been doing Chaucer in my English Lit module...total godamn mind fuck...I signed up for English not gibberish but hey it comes in handy whenever someone says "You're studying English, isn't that a little easy"...I just shove Chaucer in their face and am like "Bet you feel stupid now! Huh?"

Anyhow enough of my ranting...hope you enjoyed.

Reviews would be awesome...they make me feel giddy just like riding unicorns :)