I went on holiday a few days ago and I saw this guy who looked like Gary Oldman, siriusly. (Excuse the pun.) He had the same mad eyed, crazy haired look on him like Siruis on the run from the dementors. Sirius Black is on the run in the Lake District! Anyway, thanx to all my reviewers, hope u like the chapter! ;)

Disclaimer: I am an author who has billions of pounds and who lives in Edinburgh. I can easily pay for my mobile credit as I have so much money. sees evil lawyers with pitchforks. No, I am not J.K Rowling and I do not own any of the characters.

The marauders entered the Great Hall, laughing about Peeves.

'I always thought that Professor McGonagall had a soft spot for old Peeves,' chuckled Sirius.

'Why, Padfoot?' asked Remus.

'Well, imagine if we chucked old Paracelsus down the stairs, we would have been skinned alive by dear Minerva. All that honourable Gryffindor stuff. Peeves on the other hand only got a telling off,' explained Sirius.

'Yeah, you're right. Think, in a few years time. We could be witnessing the joyous reunion of Peeves and McGonagall,' laughed James who had had a vivid mental image of Professor McGonagall in a wedding dress.

'Imagine the music,' said Remus, who started humming the wedding tune with crashes and bangs between every couple of notes.

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'Oh look! There's Sirius!' squealed Marlene, hurriedly plastering a huge Cheshire cat grin on her face.

Lily and Alice sighed simultaneously. Marlene had been enamoured with Sirius from around third year. She always acted like a fool around him and the point was that Sirius never noticed her efforts.

'Boys,' sighed Lily.

'Anyway,' said Alice. 'How was dear Petunia this year? I know that she absolutely adores your presence.'

'It was as usual. Evil glares, nasty comments. She looked a bit happier at the end, I dunno why,' replied Lily. 'Anyway, I think that Marlene's going to cause herself harm. Seriously, what is she doing?'

Marlene was now viciously pawing her robes, in the attempt to get rid of the mud that had plastered on to her robes. Lily flicked her wand and said scourgify. Marlene seemed to have forgotten she was a witch in the presence of Sirius.

'Thanks Lils,' said Marlene happily, searching for Sirius again.

'Now, did you read that amazing interview with Celestina Warbeck in last weeks Witch Weekly?' said Alice, trying to distract Marlene.

It didn't work.

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'Oy, Prongs!' shouted Sirius, among the throng of students.

'What mate?' I've just seen Frank up there with Liam,' replied James, waving to his fellow Gryffindor 7th years. (pretend that Liam is Lee Jordan's dad)

'Here's your Head Boy letter, Prongs,' said Sirius, grinning, handing over a thick letter.

'What?' said James; clearly thinking Sirius was pulling his leg.

'I stole it when we got the Hogwarts letters,' said Sirius, eyes twinkling, 'your dad told me to, mate. He said 'payback' for the slug in the shower.' (What? James' must have inherited his naughty streak from someone)

'Your joking, right,' said James, sitting down on the Gryffindor house table. Remus was whistling innocently and Peter, being his usual unsubtle self, was grinning madly.

'What?' said Sirius, 'Ever wondered why your parents bought you that Nimbus One thousand broomstick.'

James' mind was racing through the last few weeks. True, his mother was grinning a bit too much for some Hogwarts book lists and true, he got a new broomstick for nothing. The Potters were rich but believed that everything had to be earned, they wouldn't have got him a new, brand-spanking new broomstick for nothing. But was he really head boy? Or was Sirius faking it?

The first years walked, no trudged, into the Great Hall. Each looking like they had seen a Hungarian Horntail, they were terrified. Sirius grinned; he remembered when he told Regulus that he had to battle a giant to get into Hogwarts.

The sorting hat broke into song as James opened his mouth. James and the others fell silent. There was a long-standing joke amongst the teachers that the only way to silence all of the Hogwarts students was to put the sorting hat in front of them.

Hundreds of years ago,

Hogwarts was founded in the snow,

By 4 noble people,

Who had ambitions as high as steeples…

(sorry for the crap verse)

When the sorting hat finished the song, the whole school broke into applause.

'That was the best one yet,' said Lily, cheering along heartily.

James however had stopped clapping and was arguing with Sirius.

'It can't be'

'Can, look it says Jamesie on the letter'

'Has Dumbledore gone mad?'

'Yeah, I think so'

'But he wouldn't…'

'Yes, he would…'

'But…'

'Yeah, you've got a big one'

Professor McGonagall then placed her disapproving eyes on the pair as she stood up to read the names of the 1st year students.

'Guys, shush' whispered Remus to his unobservant friends.

'Anant David'

'Gryffindor!'

'Billius Pepper'

'Ravenclaw!'

…

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'Aw, look!' said Alice, 'they look like they fell into the lake and had a dance with the Giant Squid'

'What do you think it was?' said Lily, 'waltz or some ballroom'

'More like the salsa' replied Alice.

Marlene was now staring at Sirius who was laughing at the expression on James' face.

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Petunia: 9 Magnolia Crescent

Finally that obnoxious freak went off to her freaky building that she calls a school. I'm so happy because I got my own back on her. All the bloody time, Mum and Dad always dote on her. Lily this, Lily that. It's so annoying – she has done anything to deserve so much attention. She is such a suck up. Anyway, one day another stupid owl came into our house – they are such repulsive creatures. The owl had 2 letters from that freaky school of hers. Lily and Mum were out for another stupid 'treat.' Mum said that I could come but Vernon was going to take me out for lunch but when they left Vernon phoned to say that he got work experience slot with Grunings. I am so proud of him – he is so normal. Anyway, back to the point, one of the letters had lily's book lists while the other said that she had become a Head Girl. Lily's overlarge head is too full and doesn't need to become a Head Girl. Imagine what would happen if mum and dad found out. I couldn't believe it; her freakish school actually has a system. But at least Lily will get into loads of trouble because I threw the letter into the bin. No one will find out and if they do, it will be too late. Revenge!

I hope u liked it, I put in the Petunia bit caus I think she hated Lily so much, she would have done something to avenge Lily. At this moment in time, there is a small blue button on this screen screaming for your attention, please review. ;)