Part B "The Secret Arts of the Pupil" and "The Kitchen Incident"
Furinkan Koukou; Class 4-B
It was a was a usual, quiet Monday morning for Class 4-B. Keyword: Was. When Akane Tendo walked through the gates, Class 4-B gathered at the windows to see how long it would take this morning. What the saw was nothing short of awkward. When the boys, and a girl or two had returned from stopping off their noses, their homeroom teacher, Ishida-Sensei came into his classroom.
"Let GO!" they heard Akane yell from the hall "Stop it! It's embarrassing!" As she came through the door, Class 4-B saw the source of her annoyance. Koneko was hanging off of Akane's left arm and looking up (she is really short) at Akane lovingly.
The class was torn between two reactions. The girls squealed at Koneko's cuteness, and the boys nearly fainted because the way Koneko held Akane's arm was rather… squishy.
Clearing his throat "Class, we have a new student joining us today. His... um, her name is Ranma Saotome, and she, um, he has recently come back from a trip to China."
Raising his hand, Daisuke asked " Ishida-Sensei, how come you kept changing the pronouns? The new girl is just that, a girl."
"When Kasumi called yesterday," Ishida-Sensei answered pinching his nose "The informed me of something... odd about Ranma."
"Little Miss Annoying here is supposed to be a boy."An annoyed Akane said, trying to pry Koneko off of her arm.
Collectively the entirety of Class 4-B tilted their heads to the right and said "Oro?"
"Ranma's dad got the cursed while they were in China," Akane answered annoyingly, still trying to remove the cat-girl. "And you have to have to pour warm water on hit to fix him."
"And that's why Kasumi asked me to keep a kettle and hot plate in the classroom." Ishida-Sensei said taking the Kettle off of the hotplate by his desk, pouring it over Koneko's head.
Dropping off of Akane the newly-male Ranma started blabbing apologies, and trying not to get told off again. "Sorry, Akane." he said.
" Ranma, you'll sit besides Akane." Ishida-Sensei said, while taking out the English book. "Alright class, turn to page 40"
Tendo Compound
They plotted in darkness, silently planning their next move. Swearing not to tell a soul, they vanished into the shadows. Then the panda tripped, landing on the man and girl, resulting in an awkward pile of grumbles and embarrassment.
Walking to the dojo to find the source of the noise, Kasumi turned on the light to find Shampoo, her father and a panda-fied Mr. Saotome wrapped in a scroll, and flailing around like a drunk fish on land. Not wanting to touch the situation with a thirty-nine-and a-half-foot pole, she walked away before the took notice.
Going into the kitchen, Kasumi took her purse and bag, and left for the local market to try to forget the horrible implications of the horrible perversity in the dojo. Silently thanking her good luck, Kasumi made her way out of the gates, trying to purge her mid of the scene in the dojo. Maybe she'd se Tofu-Sensei, He was always so silly!
Shoko Maki Street
Akane walked behind Ranma, trying to apologize for the baseball to the face. He was acting like it was nothing but she knew the nurse didn't send them to Tofu-Sensei's clinic for nothing. Praying Kasumi wasn't there she lead her (for her) reluctant fiance past Yamanaka-San's house. Felling Ranma's hand shift in hers Akane felt her heart drop. This was the fifth time today!
"Airen!"Koneko squealed, glomping Akane. Bumping her slightly swollen cheek against Akane's arm, Koneko yipped, "Ouch!" rubbing her cheek, She asked she slyly asked "Will Airen Kiss Koneko's cheek better?"
Twitching, Akane resisted the urge to flatten the cat-girl at her side. "No, I won't."
Pouting cutely Koneko asked "Wynaut Why not?"
Sighing, Akane didn't answer and just lead her soggy feline fiancee to Tofu-Sensei's.
Koneko wondered, 'Why doesn't Airen like Koneko? Koneko is always nice to Airen and shows Airen that Koneko loves her. Koneko even asked if Airen wanted to kiss her better! Master's Airen would do everything to make Master better, but at least Airen is taking her to the doctor.' Realizing something Koneko's eyes widened, the a sly grin crept across her face. She'd need Master's help for this.. 'Airen's just shy!'
Tofu's Acupuncture, Chiropractic and Moxibustion
Humming Kasumi walked into Tofu-Sensei's, hoping his antics could help her to forget what the evening's shopping list couldn't. Seeing her little sister and her currently feminine feline fiancee she gave a little wave as she opened the door.
Internally groaning seeing Kasumi entering Tofu-Sensei's, Akane slowed down, hoping against hope that Kasumi wasn't going to be long.
Not noticing anything Koneko wondered 'Where will Koneko get a pink frilly apron?'
Slowly walking through the doors of Tofu-Sensei's clinic, with a pondering Koneko in tow Akane nervously sat on a chair in the lobby. Not noticing who was sitting behind the receptionist's desk Akane asked "Can we see Tofu-Sensei?"
"Go on, Tofu-Sensei's free." The conspicuously lavender haired receptionist said, not looking up from her Shoujo Beat.
Unfortunately for Koneko and Akane, Kasumi was in the office, well not quite chatting,but with Tofu-Sensei. Due to an unfortunate talent show (read hypnosis) accident when Kasumi was in tenth grade, Tofu has lost his ability to stay coherent in her presence, and no-one has ever got her to snap her fingers around him. So now whenever the are in the same room, as one patient described it" To go in there now, for an exam, could cost you your life!"
Suffice to say, the results of Koneko's exam were... less than healthy.
Tendo Compound, A Half-Hour Later
A crooked-necked cat-girl and a grouchy Tendo slumped down next to the table, slowly scooping out a bowl of beef ramen. Kasumi knelt at the head of the table, trying not to look at her father or Mr. Saotome. Mr.'s Saotome and Tendo sat idly saying something about the "Terrible Takoyaki Incident" and how their respective girlfriends never let them live it down. Silently at her corner of the table Nabiki fiddled with her abacus, plotting how to make Kuno-chan look like an ass next. Slowly the pot of ramen dwindle down, Ranma regained his birth gender and straightened his neck. As everyone was getting up, Soun stood and cleared his voice...
ふふふふふ... 僕 は 新世界 の 神 だ*! !
Akane couldn't believe it. Her father had chosen to take Mr. Saotome over her! His own daughter!... well... she couldn't blame him, they hadn't seen each other in ten years. If she went ten years without seeing her best friend she'd probably go crazy!... Wait a minute... Never mind. Still! Akane was his daughter!
Meanwhile, in his room, Ranma looked through his backpack, hoping to find a raincoat. "postcard, postcard, money, pot(No, not weed moron!), hammer, rope, scroll with a really big knot, salmon... wait scroll with a really big knot?"
Looking at the scroll, he tried to undo the knot, but it it slipped off the end on the scroll. Not noticing he still worked at the knot. It took him three hours, but he did it, and at the end he noticed that the scroll was at his feet and face-palmed. Unrolling the scroll it read "Seito no Himitsu Geijutsu: Otsukai sensei o uchi makasu suru hoho o**"
Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, Ranma dashed down the stairs, out the back door, across the walkway, and into the dojo. Unfurling the scroll he found the first technique, Konohagakure Hiden Taijutsu Ōgi: Sennen Goroshi. Finding a practice dummy as specified, he began to read the execution of the technique. "Horse stance, Ram-Seal. Lower hands to right hip, run to back of the target. Channel all of your strength into your arms and thrust the Ram-Seal into the enemy's anus... Wait what!"
Not believing what he read he re-read the paragraph and diagram. He still mastered it. Next came the second , shorter-named technique Koso wo***.
Again he couldn't believe what he had read. "Raise hands to head level, in a claw-like position. Get your opponent to focus on your hands. Kick them in the crotch." Deciding to show his scroll to Akane, he took it into the house. Through Akane's reaction to the rather... desperate nature of the "techniques" they learned that spit-takes can, and will, trigger Jusenkyo curses.
"See Airen, it take oddball to come up with these."Koneko said. Seeing an opportunity to execute her plan, Koneko continued "Airen want to take bath? Koneko will heat up water, yes?
Somewhat calmed down from her laughing fit, Akane sniffed her armpit, wrinkled her nose and agreed. She ad spent three hours in the dojo after all. Grinning giddily, Koneko dashed up the stairs and started to run the water for her fiance's bath.
One Hour Later
Walking out of the bath Akane, dressed in a floor-length bathrobe, made her way to her room. Hearing the doors open and close, Koneko put the finishing touches on lunch and her "special apron" on herself. Akane hummed quietly and tried to find her other sock by, quite unsuccessfully, groping around under her bed.
"Airen! Lunch ready!"
Not without reason, the exclamation had startled Akane, thus causing her to hit her head on the bed. "Dammit! I'm coming!"
Taking a few steps Akane realized something. 'Kasumi's gone to the hot springs with everyone, so who? Ranma! I hope the weirdo can cook something other than camp food.'
Stepping into the dinning room Akane saw the best presentation of food she had ever seen. The smell gently wafted through the air, mixing with the smell of steeping tea, making Akane's mouth water. Sitting on her cushion she picked looked at her plate and saw a perfectly presented boiled crab. And on another, a steaming bowl of shrimp ramen. Next to that was a platter full of sushi and sauces. In short it was a massive, and perfect, Fisherman's Platter. Barely worth mentioning was the little pet-bowl of fish scraps by the table leg, but Akane never saw that.
Koneko cheerfully trotted out of the kitchen, wearing just an apron. Cheerfully she chirped "Airen eat when she ready. Koneko make just for her!"
"Um... thanks..." akane answered, not sure how to accept such a large gift.
* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I will be the GOD of this New World! I inserted this for no reason.
**The Secret Art of the Pupil: How to Defeat your Master
***Tiger Claws, if you don't know what this is, watch "The New Guy"