Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the Plum series. Those are copycright of Janet Evanovich.
Thank you ladyofkeegan, for editing this chapter. Also, thanks everyone for reading and for the amazing reviews. Thank you! know it took me a long to update, but at least this is a fairly long chapter. I hope you guys like it. This is what we were waiting for all along.
Chap 7. The Men in My Life
Ranger POV.
Why would she do this to me? She left me with only my memories. What could I do with these memories? I wanted to know. No I needed to know because they are tearing me apart. All I can think about is Stephanie. I remember vividly the way she moved with me, her hair creating a halo around her beautiful face and the way she moaned, trembled, nibbled, kissed, the feeling of her soft skin under my hands, the pulse on her neck when I kissed it. Those things are all part of Stephanie, her very essence. I will never let myself forget.
As I hit the punching bag in my gym I thought back to the last night we spent together.
I remember that night as if it was yesterday. As we kissed, Stephanie pushed against my chest until I was on my back, straddling me perfectly. She had reached for my hands, intertwining our fingers, riding me slowly. She was torturing me with her pace, her moans, brushing her breast against my chest. I was the strength and the muscle, but Stephanie Plum had all the power. She always did. I remember flipping her over and kissing her until we had to stop for air. I moved fast and hard into her, feeling her walls clench around me, biting the skin on her shoulder.
"I fucking love you Carlos Manoso," she cried, "I'm in love with you."
I had to stare into her big blue eyes until I decided she was telling me the truth. Why else would she be back in my bed if it wasn't the truth? She was supposed to marry Morelli.
We were staring into each other's eyes. The tears and the fear I saw in them concerned me. Then I realized I had stopped moving and I was still buried deep in her. She felt vulnerable. Could I leave? I could have left her there, tell her to leave, tell her it wouldn't work. I had a flight to Miami the next morning. I was planning to be far way from here the day of her wedding. No, I couldn't leave her, not this time.
"You don't really mean it, do you Babe?"
She quickly nodded, tears streaming down her face, "I can't love anyone else, no the way I love you."
"Then let's make a deal," I said and spent the rest of the night showing her how much I loved her. I knew that she was my everything. I needed all that she could give me. She was in deep trouble now because she won the key to the Batcave and we both knew there was no way out of the there. The Batcave is forever, and I was determined to keep it that way.
Dammit, I still needed her. I have lost sleep, lost my appetite, and my sanity trying to find her for the last four and a half years. I should have given up a long time ago but I couldn't. Stephanie Plum, my life and love, had moved on. She was married to someone else.
The face I pictured on the punching bag wasn't Morelli's anymore. There was a time it was Morelli's, but now it was my own. I dug my own grave when I sent her back to him. She was going to marry him but then she came back to me only to leave me. I pretended that I could live my life without her and accept that she didn't belong to me. I convinced myself that I was just danger to her existence. She saw through my bullshit. She left Morelli and was in my bed proclaiming her love to me and then she left.
Now I'm here, without her, all alone.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tank appeared at the door, and marched towards me. "Did you just run away from Stephanie? Do I need remind you this is the woman you have been searching for all this time?"
I kept punching the bag in front of me, sending it flying away from me with every single punch. My knuckles hurt, and I'm quite sure I pulled a tendon. I welcomed and favored the pain, anything that would make me feel alive again.
"She moved on," I growled. As soon as I said it aloud, I felt the need to break something. I have lost sleep, lost my appetite, and my sanity trying to find her for the last four and a half years. I should have given up a long time ago but I couldn't. All those people who criticized my actions, telling me I was going mad. My associates, my employees, and even my parents thought it wasn't worth it. They told me I needed to move on. My life was getting out of control, they told me, but my life was turned upside down the day I met Stephanie Plum.
Dammit, I still needed her Stephanie Plum, my life and love, had moved on. She was married to someone else.
"You're so fucking stupid," Tank sneered. "Did you even stop to look at that child?"
I stopped and caught the punching bag as it came swinging my way, and glared a Tank.
"I didn't have to," I spat.
"That is the problem with you," Tank sighed. "When it comes to Stephanie, sometimes you become irrational, did you know that? Do I need to remind you of Abruzzi?"
"Abruzzi deserved what he got," I snapped furiously. The last thing I needed was a lecture. I just wanted some peace. I wanted to forget everything, forget Stephanie.
Tank seemed amused, he stood there smiling too himself. It pissed me off.
"I didn't killed Abruzzi," I reminded him, but I would have killed him.
"You almost pulled the trigger," Tank said, picking a pair of boxing gloves off the wall rack. "I remember the way you saw her that day, when she went back to the cop. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together."
Tank walked over to the mat. I punched the bag for the last time, making a deafening sound. He will regret ever saying anything.
The first time I made love to Stephanie, I discovered my attraction to her wasn't just an itch I needed to scratch. She was much more, and I wanted more, but I couldn't. The next day I sent her back to Morelli, yet I couldn't get her out of my mind. I don't know what I was expecting to happen. All I knew was that seeing her go back to the cop made my blood boil. I had to live with the fact that she wasn't mine. I wasn't good enough for her and I didn't want to love her, but I did. I still do. I am under her spell. Stephanie has that effect on people. Stephanie is magic.
She makes me a better man but she also gives me temporary moments of insanity. I almost killed Abruzzi that night. I sent her back to Morelli more than once and I told her I was glad she was marrying him. I was he was good for her. He could have made her happy but she didn't want him.
Now she belongs to someone else, not me. She had someone else's kid, not mine. The rumors were true. She's taken. The woman I had searched for all these years didn't love me.
"Did you sleep with her then?" he asked referring back to the Abruzi case. "I think you did and then you got angry seeing her in his arms again."
My anger flared as we walked in circles on the mat. The bastard was good enough to block most of my advances. He wasn't trying to hit me back though. Tank was getting too confident and it infuriated me.
"She's your weakness, Ranger," Tank said, "and today you made a big mistake."
I stopped to catch my breath. My body was numb. I just wanted to feel pain, physical pain for a chance.
"It's funny, you know," Tank chuckled, and he dropped the gloves on the floor, "you have it so bad for her, it blinds you."
"What are you talking about?" I demanded breathlessly, she had a child. I should have known when the call came in and then the rumors started. What the fuck is wrong with him?
"Is there something I should know?"
"Just forget it," he said.
"Get out!"
"I'm on my way," he snarled. "I think you should get your head checked, maybe the blow did something to your brain."
-rs-
Steph POV.
I got angry, very angry with Ranger. I lied to him? When? I never lied to him. What was he talking about? Lester picked me up, preventing me from getting in my car.
"Let me go!"
"Calm down, Steph"
"Mommy, I love you," my son said to me. I smiled, now tears pooling in my eyes. It was all it took for my anger to subside.
Lester disinfected and cleaned my hands. He wouldn't let me do anything rash until my hands were treated. I had some deep cuts, but not enough that made stitching necessary. In reality, I just couldn't care about my hands. I was still trying to digest what happened on my parents' lawn.
"I can't believe he left," I said. "What was he thinking?"
"He wasn't thinking," hissed Lester, his expression neutral. "I'm sorry about what happened today. The house was wired and I didn't know. It… it's my fault."
"It's not your fault, Les," I said gently giving him a hug. "Are you going to be in trouble with Ranger?"
Lester smiled, "don't worry about it."
Ricky's eyes were puffy from crying. He panicked when he saw my bloody hands. He blamed it on Ranger and decided to hit him with the baseball he was using to play catch. I had to admit my son had potential because that was an incredible aim.
"C'mon batboy," I said taking his hand. My father drove us back home. Lester escorted us to the house and then went back to Haywood to face Ranger.
"How are you feeling, Pumpkin?" my father asked. "How are your hands?"
"It could be worse."
"It was," he mumbled as we walked into the house.
I decided to take a shower and get rid of the sweaty, bloody clothes I was wearing. The cool water relaxed me a little but it could only do so much. I was even too tired to abuse my shower massager.
-rs-
I skipped dinner with mom and Valerie. Of course, she wasn't happy but my father was very good at persuading. We ordered pizza and sat side by side on the sofa. Ricky kept trying to get Rex to play with him. Rex would just twitch his whiskers and stare expectantly at my son. Ricky asked for his crayons and started drawing Rex with a cape.
"Why does Rex have a cape?" my father asked Ricky.
"Rex has a cape because he helps me," my son said never tearing his eyes from his drawing. "He gets bad people like mommy and me. I'm like Batman."
Dad responded with an, "uhmm."
The doorbell ran and my father quickly stood up to take the door. It had to be the pizza deliveryman and I was dying for Pinos.
"Mr. Plum," a familiar voice greeted my father. "How are you, sir?"
I ran over to the door to make sure my ears weren't betraying me.
"Joe," I gasped. "How...What are you doing here?"
"Hey, Cupcake," he replied smugly. "I answered your email and I'm still waiting for a reply."
"How did you find me?" I questioned.
"I was at Pino's picking up a spaghetti sub for Amy," he said. "She has been craving that a lot lately. I was there when your order came in. I told Pino I could deliver it and he gave me your address. I hope I'm not intruding."
Sure enough, he was holding two boxes of pizza. My father and I looked at each other in awe. Today was dedicated to all the men in my life.
"Did you pay for the pizza?" my father asked abruptly and Joe nodded.
"Good," dad smiled and took the boxes back inside.
"Pizza!" I heard my son squealed from the living room.
"So, can I come in?" Joe asked me, "maybe you could update me on your life?"
I took a deep breath and hugged him. He asked for an update, well he was going to get one, a big one. I felt his eyes scanning me as I guided him into the house. We found my son doing a happy dance.
"Did you wash your hands?" I laughed. There's nothing like junk food to make him this happy.
"Yes, I'm ready," Ricky, exclaimed happily, stretching his hands for me to see. I leaned forward, and brushed my nose against his hand.
"There's something missing," I told him. "I think you forgot the soap."
Ricky groaned in discontent and my father laughed.
"Let me help you," Dad said pushing Ricky into the kitchen.
"Who's the kid?" Joe asked me immediately.
"He's my son," I responded. Joe stared at me, giving me his cop face. I actually missed that face. We stood there in awkward silence.
"Mommy, can I have pizza now, pleasseee?" Ricky questioned when he came back.
"Mommy?" Morelli inquired.
I nodded and I handed Ricky half a slice. Morelli seemed to tense, his shoulders muscles contracting as he stared at Ricky.
"Are you a police?"
Joe looked a little surprised at the question, but he nodded. "How did you know?"
Ricky pointed at the gun tucked in the waistline of Morelli's jeans. "Mommy is not a police but she finds bad people too, right mommy?"
"Honey, eat your food," I ordered trying to take the conversation away from guns. I took a bite of pizza and moaned. Pino's pizza is delicious.
"I thought the rumors were fake," Joe said, slowly reaching for a slice. "You did get married."
"God, no!" I exclaimed. "Why do you say that? It's not enough I was called 'Joe Morelli's runaway bride' today by some lady I don't even know."
Morelli frowned and I realized what I just said. "Joe, I'm sorry."
"No, I think I got the message the day you left," he said dryly. "The day before our wedding, remember?"
He had a right to be upset. I wanted to know what was running though his head.
"Do you mean he's really yours?" he asked casually, taking a deep breath. "He's your flesh and blood."
I nodded in response, "yes."
I guess he thought I was Ricky's stepmother.
"No, it can't be" he said leaning towards my son.
"It's true, Ricky is my son," I said.
"Ricky?" Joe repeated and I nodded.
"Stephanie," he hissed. "Do I want to know?"
"Maybe not," I muttered waiting for the worst.
Morelli stared at my son without blinking.
"Joe?"
He dropped his pizza back on the box, "I'm such a fool."
"Joe, let me explain," I begged him. He was already making his way out of the house.
"Tell me you didn't cheat on me," he snapped, turning around. "Were you sleeping with him while we were together? Is that why you left, because you were pregnant with his child?"
My father walked in to inspect the situation. Ricky came to stand behind me, a slice of pizza in his hand. Great! I grabbed Morelli's arm, and pulled him out onto the sidewalk before something happened.
"I didn't cheat on you," I said firmly, poking his chest. "I would never hurt you that way."
"It sounds like you thought about it," he replied angrily. I wanted to reassure him that nothing happened. However, all those kisses in the alley and all those nights I slept next to Ranger felt too intimate now. Something did happen.
"Fuck that kid could have been ours,"he groaned, "I loved you, and I still do."
"I'm sorry, Joe," I replied sadly. "I knew my heart belonged to someone else. I might have not betrayed you physically but my feelings did and you have to admit, that's much worse. If… If you feel we can't be friends, then…then, I understand."
There wasn't much I could say that would change the way he felt.
"The guilt is killing me, Joe," I told him, "and the last few days have been horrible to me. I fell on a pile of glass, the daughter of a friend was kidnapped, and Ricky hit Ranger on the head with a baseball."
"Cupcake," he sighed and embraced me. "I'm here for you even though you basically left me at the altar, remember?"
"Good to know," I said.
"Wait…what about a baseball?"
I told him what happened earlier in the morning. Joe Morelli's eyes filled with amazement and his body shook with uncontrollable laughter.
"It's not funny," I protested. "Did you see that slice of pizza in his hand? I think that was for you."
"Cupcake," he said. "It's just a funny image. He deserved it, sorry. I wish I could help you. Maybe he misunderstood? I mean… Cupcake, he has being looking for you for years. He was even willing to put our differences aside to find you and that's desperation. He thought you might get in contact with me first and he wanted to make sure he could reach you."
I felt the tears cascading down my face…again. I could probably fill a fish tank with all the tears I have shed in the past two days. I blamed it on PMS.
"Do you love Amy?" I asked Morelli.
"Yes," he replied smiling at me, "I also love you, deeply... Amy lost her first husband. He was a police officer and died during an undercover operation. They never had kids together. She moved to Trenton, searching for a change, that's when we met. First, we started leaning on each other for comfort. Then, we fell in love, and we didn't even notice."
I studied Morelli as he stood in front of me. He had his hands in his packets, smiling at me. He said 'fell in love.'
"I'm sorry," I said, "about leaving the way I did."
My thoughts traveled back to Ranger, and I almost chocked. He was suffering too. He wants me, I thought, Ranger misses me.
"Hey, I'm having a baby," Joe said cheerfully, "and please don't ask Amy if we're having twins. She's very emotional about her weight lately."
I smiled knowingly, "I'm afraid to talk to Ranger."
"Well, I don't blame you," he said thoughtfully. "Cupcake, I got to go. I need to buy some Maalox."
-rs-
My father left when Sofia came home. He wanted to make sure I wasn't left alone to do something crazy. I sat on the steps for a while, staring at the stars, watching them twinkle back at me. I was feeling somewhat relaxed after talking to Morelli. God, I was even feeling a little brave. The door opened and my son came out. He was wearing a batman pajama set that I couldn't help buying him. He was holding something in his hand and under the porch lights; I noticed tears in his eyes.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked him pulling him next to me. Ricky handed me the thing in his hand. It was Ranger's picture. The picture I had sneakily taken one day when he picked me up at my parents' house. It was a medium shot picture of him. Ranger's hair was short since he had come back from being 'in the wind.' He had on a black shirt. Ranger's eyes and the slight tilt of his mouth suggested that he was amused. I was amusing him.
"Come here," I told Ricky, gently sitting him on my leg. "Tell mommy what's wrong?"
"I want daddy," he said softly to me, "I want to see daddy."
I kissed his cheek and took a deep breath before responding. Ricky was just turning four. He couldn't see the resemblance between the man in his picture and the man he hit with that baseball. Ricky has never seen him in person before and the man he saw was 'hurting me.'
Ranger, on the other hand… Well, he was taken by the moment. He probably thought the same thing Morelli did, that I married someone else. How could he be so stupid? Maybe he didn't want to see what was in front of him. Couldn't he see himself in my son? Maybe the blow on his head actually damaged part of his brain.
"Baby," I started gently. "Do you remember that man at grandpa's house?"
"The one hurting you," he said.
"No baby," I replied quickly. "I told you he wasn't hurting me. He was helping me and it's bad to throw things at people. Don't do it again."
"What if they are bad," he asked.
"Then you call me," I told him. I turned the picture around to show him. "Son that man is your daddy."
Ricky gasped, his little chest contracting in the process, and his eyes fell on mine. I saw them filled with tears. I felt horrible, what was I telling him? Ricky pressed himself against my shirt. I made small circles on his back.
"Mommy, daddy…daddy hates me now," he wailed between sods. "I hit him with my ball."
"He doesn't hate you, baby," I affirmed sternly.
"But, he… he left," Ricky cried.
"He was being stupid," I stated, shocked by the anger that had taken over my voice. "He didn't even let me explain or introduce you. Ricky, your father just stormed away from us without knowing. He was an idiot! A coward!"
I wasn't talking to my son. I was talking to myself. I picked Ricky in my arms and stormed in the house for my keys. The door slammed behind me.
In the living room, Sofia looked up from her computer. There were papers scattered everywhere. She was on the job, probably hacking someone's computer. I walked past her and unhooked my keys from the key holder against the wall. I tapped on Rex's cage and he twitched his whiskers at me.
"Wish me luck," I said walking back to the door.
"Would you pick up something for me?" Sofia called out from the living room.
"I'm not going to the store," I responded. She stood up from her seat and followed me outside.
"Are you sure about this? Would you like me to go with you?" she asked walking next to me. She was wearing her large pajamas, and fluffy sandals.
"No, I can do this," I replied, buckling my son in the back seat. He sat there confused and crying silently. "Ranger's an idiot and he needs to know. Then, he's going to explain how I 'lied' him."
Sofia grinned, "Go sister, I'll be waiting here in Themyscira."
I gave her a hug. It was hard not to smile at the Wonder Woman reference. She was encouraging me.
-rs-
I drove silently to the building in Haywood. Ricky was sitting in the backseat examining the picture of his father with the little light streaming through the window. I made two rounds around the block before I had the guts to go in. The garage doors opened in front of me and I drove in before I could do a double take.
"Ricky?" I called my son when I parked. I took his attention away from the other cars in the space and he looked up at me.
"Where are we mommy?
"We're going to see daddy," I said a little breathlessly. The nerves were catching up to me. I got out of the car and unbuckled Ricky from his seat.
"Daddy?" he gasped as I lifted him in my arms. "Mommy, would he like me? I hit him with my ball."
"Don't think about that, baby," I said more to myself than him. I knew Ranger would never hurt a child, physically or emotionally.
The elevator doors open in front of me. It was empty and I breathed with relief. Ranger will not throw me out before I got my chance to explain. What am I even going to say? I questioned myself, different things running through my head. I stepped in and pressed seven.
However, the door opened on five. A sea of men stood there staring back at me. Only one thing crossed my mind, why didn't Ranger hire women? I saw Al, Bobby, Cal, Junior, Hal, Woody, Vince, Ram, Manuel, and Hector, Lester, and Tank.
"Hello," I mumbled timidly. They just kept staring at me.
"It's good to see you, Beautiful," said Lester. There was a big smile on his face, but also a nasty black eye and a bruise on his forehead. Ranger.
"You look like a woman on a mission," Tank noted.
"I think we should get this over with," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"If I don't do this now," I threatened, "It's never going to happen."
Tank and Lester hopped into the elevator. Tank barked orders for everyone, telling then to go back to work. Ricky stared blankly at him all ride up.
"Ricky, that's rude," I sighed. What do I do with a child who thinks he's Batman?
The doors dinged open and we stepped outside. Tank opened the door for me and stepped inside Ranger's apartment. I followed silently behind him, placing a kiss on my son's cheek for reassurance.
There was Ranger. I shuddered at the sour look in his eyes, the look of rejection.
"Ranger," I breathed. My son looked from Ranger to me.
"Daddy," he cried, wiggling in my arms. He was trying to fight himself loose, and he did, slipping down to the floor on his feet with a thud. He stood there looking at his father. I turned to Lester and asked him to take Ricky with him.
"No," Ricky shrieked, yanking his hand away from Lester. "I want my daddy."
Ranger was standing just a couple of feet away from me. He was paralyzed, rooted to the floor, and blank faced. He was in Ranger-lock-down mode, and I got scared.
My son marched up to his father, and looked up at him. Ranger towered over him, his big form made Ricky's even smaller. Ranger was still staring at me, and I'm sure he wasn't breathing.
"Daddy," I heard my son whimper, and I was certain he was crying. Ranger's eyes moved down to his son. I saw them stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds too long. My body was paralyzed, waiting, wishing Ranger wouldn't ruin this moment for my son, for our son.
"Daddy?" Ricky wept, and lunched himself into his father's legs. I saw Ranger shake when Ricky wrapped his small arms around him. Ricky looked up at him once again. I think he was waiting for Ranger to pick him up. I silently wanted to yell at him and tell him to hold him, to give his son his wish. I couldn't. Ricky stepped away from his father, his tiny hands flying to his face. My son was crying!
"I'm sorry I hit you," he sobbed. Stupid and useless Ranger-lockdown mode!
There was a heavy knot in my chest, and I was starting to see dots. Tank stepped up behind him and whispered something in his ear. I didn't even see him move. I saw Ranger come back to life, once again. He gulped, squatted down, and gently removed Ricky's hands away from his eyes.
He lifted Ricky into his arms. My son nestled against his chest and wrapped his arms around his neck securely. Then Ranger glanced blankly my way, and my breath caught in my throat.
I felt Lester's arm holding me up. He was rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. He pushed me farther into the room and made me sit on a chair. I started taking deep breaths, hoping Ranger wouldn't send me to live with penguins. I sat there, silently watching the interaction between my son and his father.
"It's okay Bomber," Tank whispered in my ear. "Ricky just won him over."
I nodded trying to tell myself everything was going to be okay.
"What did you tell him?" I asked curious. "When you approached him, what did you say?"
Tank's smile widened, and then he gently repeated to me what he told Ranger. "I said, his name is Carlos," he whispered back a me.
Ranger POV
"Daddy," the child in my arms rasped. I felt his tears against my neck. "I missed you."
He missed me, meaning he missed me in his life. Why Babe? What did I do? Why would you keep our child a secret from me? I examined the child in my arms, my son. I kissed his cheek and tried to wipe the tears running down his eyes. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes, like his mother's. I found it very hard not to stare. The way he was looking at me gave me the urge to protect him and make him happy. If I had to jump in front of fast moving train to do so, I would.
Carlito is the perfect combination of Stephanie and me. He has silky brown hair on his head, his skin a few shades lighter than mine, and blue eyes. Carlos, my son, has his mothers' eyes, the same enchanting eyes, kind, innocent, and blue like the sea.
"Stop crying," I said, and he looked at me startled. I realized that it was meant to come out gentle and soft but it came out as an order. I was angry. How could this happen to me? How can I be so stupid? When it comes to Stephanie, I'm always disoriented. I don't know what it is about her but she can make me temporarily insane.
"I'm sorry," I said and this time my voice came out much softer. I kissed his cheek, his forehead, his nose, and his temple making exaggerated kiss sounds in the process. It had the desired effect because he giggled. My son's eyes were smiling now.
When I saw him in Stephanie's arms calling me daddy, I wasn't sure it was real. There were so many things going through my mind. I tried to make the calculations in my head. Then, I heard Carlito call me daddy once again. I looked down at him and I was certain. This child had to be my son yet I still couldn't make myself move. There were so many emotions running wild within me and the Ranger part of me was trying to keep those quiet.
"How old are you?" I asked though I knew. He was three years old. It has been four years and eight months and three weeks since my Babe left. I took out nine months of pregnancy to conclude his birthday was coming soon.
"I'm going to be four in…" he said now counting the days with his fingers. I kissed his forehead and I really wanted to smile.
"Soon," he said giving up but I gave him points for trying. I looked up at Stephanie; her eyes had not left my sight since she came into the room. I tried to breathe normally, gaining back my emotional strength. In reality, I just wanted to walk over to her and rip her clothes off. Not a good idea, Manoso, too many people in the room -including a child. My son. I have a son. Stephanie and I have a son. I kissed his cheek again.
"When is his birthday?" I asked her and her eyes widened. She hesitated a little, taking a deep breath.
"He was five days late," she said, "He was born on August twelve."
I stared blankly at her, "Stephanie."
-rs-
Ricky: Daddy!
Ranger: What?
Steph: +eyes closed+ Am I dead?
Ranger: Stephanie...
A/N: I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update between chapters. I'm writing a thesis, and it's taking most of my time, but I'll try my best to update soon. Thanks for reading, commenting, and reviewing. It encourages me to write more.