CLASSIC SCENARIO 2 – THE HOTEL ROOM
Lisbon couldn't believe it.
Of all the hotel rooms in this one-hotel town, hers had to be the one with the vermin problem.
Bats and rats had invaded her room. The only thing she liked worse than rats were bats. So there was no way she could stay in it.
Of course the hotel was hosting two large weddings in addition to a knitter's convention and the bloc of rooms booked by the FBI. So there were no other available rooms.
Her first thought was to bunk with Kim but when she casually mentioned it, Kim got rattled. Wonder what she's doing in there? Lisbon thought. Ugly mud paks and embarrassing cleanse diets where no one would want to share a bathroom?
She could ask Cho but he appeared to be very successfully chatting up a pretty woman sitting at the hotel bar. She didn't want to put a crimp in any speed Cho might need to bring this woman back to his room.
Abbott was out of the question. Because he just was.
Her only other choice was Jane. He immediately agreed saying this was perfect timing since it was about time they spent a weekend alone together and finally had sex.
Before she could point out that they were just colleagues, Jane brought her bags in, booked her an hour with a salon that did manis, pedis, and waxing, and arranged to meet her at the lingerie store in the hotel lobby as soon as she was polished and de-furred.
"Jane, we do not have that kind of relationship." Lisbon said.
"And I take all the blame for that and I assure you, that when this weekend is over we most certainly will have that kind of relationship. But look, we have to rush you into the waxing studio if you're going to make your appointment. Greta is waiting for you. Just tell her you're with Patrick, she'll know just what to do with you."
Patrick guides a reluctant and sputtering Teresa to the salon and leaves her with Greta. The woman opens Lisbon's robe and says, "Oh god yes, we can do much better. " She strips the robe off of Lisbon and shoves her into a waxing room.