Ok so this is the next to last chapter, I think. I hope you all like it. Please review. And as always thank you to all who have reviewed in the past.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, plot and setting are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

I stood looking at the crumpled TV. My breathing was ragged and shallow. I had to control myself. There would be a way around this. I understood that Carlisle was doing what he thought was right, but it didn't have to be now. Just as I started to calm down I caught Bella's voice from the other room.

"Well, Alice, where did you want to do this?" Absolutely not!

"No! No! NO!" I roared as I re-entered the dining room. I moved directly in front of Bella. Staring down into her beautiful face, rage and tension filled my being completely. "Are you insane?" I shouted louder than I had meant too, but perhaps she would hear me better. "Have you utterly lost your mind?" Bella cringed away from me, trying to block the shouting from reaching her ears.

Edward, I'm sorry I didn't mean I would actually change her. Seriously, it was just to help her get through the plane ride. Alice was repentant for her role in this catastrophe. The reality was they never would have been on the plane if it weren't for me. My actions again, had more severe consequences than I had ever imagined.

"Um, Bella," Alice's voice was tiny and anxious. "I don't think I am ready for that. I'll need to prepare…."

"You promised," Bella said accusingly, trying to peak around me at Alice.

"I know, but… Seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how not to kill you." I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. I'm really sorry. It is for the best though, Edward.

""You can do it," Bella cheered Alice on so she would take her soul. I couldn't believe what was happening. "I trust you." A primitive, furious snarl escaped me. This wasn't happening. Not only had they voted against me now they were deciding on whether to change her right here and now.

I won't do it I promise. I don't think I could do it without harming her and I would never put her in danger.

Once Bella realized she wasn't going to get what she wanted from Alice she changed gears.

"Carlisle?" NO! How could she want this so badly? Before Bella could look at Carlisle I grabbed her face gently in one hand and forced her to look at me. I wanted her to see me for everything that I was. I wanted her to know how much I loved her even though I was a monster. I quickly outstretched my other hand at Carlisle, shoving my palm in his face. I was being an insolent child but I couldn't let him do it.

Edward, she has to be changed. You know that I can do it. I think that both you and Bella would prefer if you did. It would mean more and I know you are capable of doing it without killing her and you know it too. You think you are stealing her soul but we both know you can't live without her and in order for that to happen she has to be changed. I tried to ignore the things he was saying. Part of me agreed with all of it. The selfish part of me did want her all to myself and could change her. The other part, the part that Bella had awakened in me couldn't bear to think of taking anything from her, especially her soul. I was conflicted, not that I would actually admit that to any of them.

Carlisle ignored my hand in his face, "I'm able to do it. You would be in no danger of me losing control." He was pushing me into making a decision I wasn't ready to make. To have Carlisle oppose me so openly, on such an important issue hurt me. I knew why he was doing this. He knew deep down that this was what I wanted but I would never take it for myself. I couldn't justify stealing Bella's soul to fill my own needs and wants.

"Sounds good," Bella tried to speak but my hand held her face awkwardly making her words sound funny. My jaw clenched and I exhaled slowly through my nose. I could feel defeat and I didn't like it. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

"Hold on," I spoke through clenched teeth. "It doesn't have to be now."

"There's no reason for it not to be now," Bella responded angrily.

"I can think of a few." I replied nonchalantly.

"Of course you can," Bella replied sourly. "Now let go of me." I released Bella's face from my grasp and folded my arms across my chest. I had to make her see that it didn't have to happen right now. The possibility of being changed was still on the table just not right now. I had to have time to think.

"In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police." Charlie would kill me, or at least try to, if woke he up and Bella wasn't in her room.

"All three of them," Bella replied sarcastically but she seemed to weaken in her stance.

"In the interest of remaining inconspicuous," I spoke through gritted teeth, trying desperately to control my anger, while speaking to Carlisle, "I suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house."

You are trying to postpone the inevitable. I'll give you until graduation to come to terms with this. Carlisle wasn't giving in on this topic.

"That is a reasonable request, Bella." Carlisle was finally agreeing with me on something. I had a few months to make her see there was a way around this; she didn't have to be changed. If I were being realistic though, it was just time for me to come to terms with Bella being a vampire. Plans were set in motion now that I had no say in. Bella looked frustrated at this suggestion and pursed her lips in contemplation.

"I'll consider it."

My whole body relaxed with the knowledge that I had time. I had time with Bella and time to figure out what to do about changing her. You want this, Carlisle's words from earlier echoed in my head. The part of me that did want this was starting to over rule the part that didn't. I knew that I could change Bella. Carlisle had given me a choice then, leave the venom to change her or test my will drinking from her to remove the venom. I knew from the moment that I sucked the venom out that I was capable. The only choice Carlisle was giving me now was if I would do it or if he would.

"I should probably take you home," I was worried we had been gone to long. "Just in case Charlie gets up early."

Bella looked at Carlisle, "After graduation?"

"You have my word." Remember Edward you still have the option of doing it yourself. You should talk with Bella and see what she wants.

Bella was pleased with Carlisle's response. She turned to me, her face beaming, "Okay. You can take me home now."

I walked Bella out the back of the house. I didn't want her to see what I had done. My anger had gotten the better of me and the TV had paid the price for it. I thought about what Carlisle had said. I could do it myself but a part of me was still very afraid. I didn't want Bella hate me for changing her. I didn't want her to regret it. We ran in silence to her house. The whole time I was thinking about a way to postpone the inevitable. There had to be something that would make her want to wait. I thought about what I wanted. Before she was changed there was one thing I absolutely wanted us to do. I wasn't sure how Bella would respond. I thought some more about it and before I knew it we were at Bella's house. I quickly ran up the wall and gently deposited Bella on her bed. I paced the room contemplating my current thoughts. It could work, she might agree. I could feel Bella watching me suspiciously.

"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work."

"Shh. I'm thinking." I continued to plan how to address this very delicate topic. I wanted this more than anything while she was human. It was important, to me, that she have as many human experiences as possible.

"Ugh," Bella wasn't pleased with me. She lay back on her bed and covered her face. I could not stand for that. I needed to see her. I slid into bed next and pulled the shroud away from her.

"If you don't mind, I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now…tell me something."

"What?" Bella asked with skepticism in her voice. She knew me well enough to I was planning something.

"If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?" I didn't know what to expect for an answer, but I could hope.

Bella looked at me doubtfully, "You."

I smiled inwardly, but shook my head at her, "something you don't already have." Bella paused contemplating her next words. I waited patiently for her response.

"I would want…" she paused struggling to tell me what I already knew, "Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want you to change me." I thought about this. I could use this to buy some time. And to get what I wanted as well. Bella was what I wanted most and I wanted her to have ever human experience possible before she was changed.