Sorry its been a while, this chapter is only a filler chapter so its sort, thanks for the reviews xxxx

I dont own anything or anyone you recognise...

As I finished my first week at Holby A&E I was looking forward to going home with Nick. Well I say going home with him but what I really meant was driving home in our separate cars and meeting each other there. I walked to Nick's office and I saw him in there with Zoe, the atmosphere inside looked awkward. I could see the look in her eyes like she wanted him. She began to advance on him and I could feel the anger building up, boiling and I felt ready to explode. I hurried to the door and opened it. Zoe turned around and looked at me resentful.

"Oh sorry! Did I disturb something?" I said with gritted teeth. Before scowling at Nick.

"No its ok Dr McDonald, you didn't disturb anything."

Zoe looked at him questioningly. And just shook her head before walking out of Nick's office. I looked at Nick expectantly.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"It was nothing Hol. It just... It was... Hol... I was with Zoe for a while after you ended everything with me. It was just a rebound... she lied to me... told me she was pregnant."

"So let me get this straight. Right after I ended it with you because I'd just been told I would never be a mum you were with her. You were getting excited about being a father the one thing you've always wanted the one thing I could never give. You should've stayed with her Nick. She can give you what you want."

"But I don't want her Hol, there's only one woman I want. And that's you. And there'll only be one woman I'd ever want children with. And again that's you."

"Nick, I don't ever want to deprive you from being a father. I don't want you to feel sorry for me."

"Hol, you worry too much... I've got all I want right here." He said taking my hand and smiling. I knew he was telling me the truth but I just couldn't accept it. I pulled my hand from his and hurried from the room.

"Hollie?" He shouted.

"I'll see you at home Nick." I said as I left the room.

On my way to the ED I couldn't stop thinking. I know what Nick did wasn't wrong. We weren't even together. Still, the thought of them together made my stomach twist and turn. It felt like I had dead butterflies wedged in my stomach. I could feel the nausea bubbling, threatening. Until I knew running to the toilet would be a good idea. I just got into the toilet cubicle and put my head over the toilet when the contents of my stomach emptied abruptly. I waited for it to end and left wiped my face with some loo roll. I left the cubicle and came face to face with Zoe.

"You feeling ok Hollie?" asked Zoe.

She was one of the two people I didn't want to talk to right now. So I nodded and grumbled a "fine" to her before leaving the toilets. I saw Nick coming towards me so I veered into the ED and grabbed a file from the IN pile. I glanced at it and called "Jay" at the same time before making my way into cubicle 4. Jay followed me in.

"Michael Smith, I'm Dr McDonald, this is Nurse Faldren. Can I take a look at your hand?"

He showed me his finger which was pretty bashed up I turned to Jay

"Jay can you book Mr Smith in for an x-ray."

"Mr Smith, we're going to give you an x-ray to check out the damage to your hand and then we'll know where to go from there, it may be that you might need some pins in your hand or it may be be that the damage is just cosmetic and then we'll just have to dress it. We'll know more after the x-ray."

I pulled the curtain and stepped from the cubicle. I looked up and saw Nick so I ducked into cubicle 5 which held another patient of mine and checked on her. I was like a woman on a mission to avoid Nick and to avoid slapping Zoe's face. I willed this shift to finish. I could see the hurt on Nicks face every time I avoided him but I couldn't deal with this now. It would have to wait till we got home.

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