It had been a week since Sollux had come back and I could sense the changes. Feferi seemed happier. Tavros and she had grown closer and she pushed him whenever she could. Tavros seemed happier as well and the two of them were talking a lot. Terezi was still acting weird and Vriska seemed angry at everyone, including John. And yes I admit, I was feeling better too. Sollux back, my brother and I could actually talk at times without it being weird, and Vriska wasn't bothering me anymore. I think Feferi was ready to forgive Sollux. We'd all made our mistakes. I had stood there hopelessly as it happened, he had stopped talking to us and Feferi had started cutting and was anorexic for a time. Mistakes were made by everyone. Sometimes you have to forgive people, including yourself.

It was the Monday after he'd come back and I knew I had stuff to do, but I didn't know how to do it. She didn't want to talk to me so why did I want to talk to her? I thought about it as I walked to the place Sollux and I would meet up. I used to ride the school bus but now Sollux was back so we went back to our old ways and walked because school wasn't far away. We'd walk together and talk about random crap, but today we were silent. He could tell something was on my mind and was wondering if he should ask. Luckily he didn't.

The only problem with walking to school is that we had to pass Gamzee's house, but I had gotten used to it. Something I'd see it and it'd randomly bring up some memory and I'd cringe, but usually I was fine with it.

As Sollux and I walked into school I silently decided to do it at lunch. Lunch eventually came and everyone still stared at Sollux like he didn't belong. I just hoped they'd get used to it soon even though I doubted Sollux cared. I didn't. We sat down where we usually did, at the very back table. Feferi came over to us and sighed.

"I had to stay back to talk to Ms. Soto so I told Tavros I couldn't push him," she said sitting down. I don't know why, but I had a feeling something was going to happen today. I just knew it. Of course it did. More proof I'm almost always right.

"Hey Taaaaaaaavos!" Vriska. Of course. She had to mess up everything. I couldn't hear the rest of their conversion really; Vriska had just said the first part really loudly. Feferi closed her eyes and clenched her fists. I couldn't tell if she could hear their conversation or if she was just angry Vriska was even talking to him. I was pretty mad too because she certainly wasn't doing anything nice.

Feferi and I were both watching Vriska while everyone else in the school was ignoring her. She had taken a step closer and her hand was on his wheel chair. She had dropped her voice so no one else could hear. Tavros closed his eyes.

"Vriska why do you do this?" I don't know why I could hear him now. He rarely raised his voice above a whisper, but I guess this was an exception.

"Because Tavros, that's how this all works. You're the bottom, I'm the top and I can do whatever I want." I think that's when Feferi basically lost it. She stood up and walked over to Vriska. Sollux tried to stop her but I stopped him. "This could get interesting. Let her do what she does." He sighed and we watched it all unfold. I think Feferi had been near the breaking point andhad finally snapped. She walked across the lunch room over to Vriska looking like she was going to kill someone.

"Vriska, back off!" I could tell she didn't mean to say it so loud. I could also tell she didn't care. Vriska turned to Feferi and smiled like she'd been expecting her.

"Why should I Feferi? Not like anything I've said here has been a lie." The way she said everything like she wasn't the bad guy made me want to slap her. Feferi wouldn't do anything like that though. Right now, though, I honestly wouldn't have been surprised. She was steaming.

"Honestly, why do you think Vriska?" she spat out each word like poison. The whole room had gone silent. "Vriska, he's been through in 16 years more then you will in your entire life! By the way Vriska none of this was ever our fault. None of it. I don't know why you all think that but it's not! Why do you always do this to us? Act like we're the bad guys. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." everyone was staring at the two of them and Vriska just stood there, shocked. She hadn't been expecting this. Feferi's fists were clenched and she was breathing heavily. "So would you kindly just leave us alone? All of you, not just Vriska!" No one even tried to hide the fact they were staring. "You're all just jerks. Of all the people in the world I got the displeasure of going to school with all of you. His boyfriend died and my best friend died and you guys make jokes about it." She started lowering her voice, but the anger was still in it. "They took the most important people in our lives away. Some things can't be replaced or fixed, and it doesn't help having to fight against the whole world. We never wanted that to happen. To lose our friends and boyfriends and crushes." Her voice was getting louder once more. "How would that be our fault? So Vriska would you kindly just go away. It's pretty clear no one wants you around." She turned around, pushing Tavros. "Oh and Vriska?" Vriska looked up at Feferi smiling the most forced smile I've ever seen. "Thanks so much for giving me the worst year of my life." and to this day that is still the most sarcastic I've ever seen Feferi.

Feferi returned to our table as the whole room was suddenly alive again. Feferi was still steaming yet she seemed satisfied.

"I had no idea how good that would feel until now. I finally understand you Karcrab." I rolled my eyes then realized she used both a pun and my old nickname. Feferi was coming back and maybe it just took a blow out with Vriska to help it.

"Good job FF," Sollux said smiling.

"Thanks," she smiled back, the biggest, most real smile I had seen on her in a while.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. No one could shut up about everything that had happened since Sollux had come back. There certainly was a lot to talk about. No one really talked to Feferi the rest of the day but I had a feeling it wasn't because she was uncool. Almost everyone was talking about Vriska and Vriska was ignoring everyone. Last period was same as last year, free period. I walked into library like always, Feferi and Sollux had been walking behind me today. The only problem with Feferi's blow was that I hadn't gotten to talk to Terezi. I saw her sitting next to Dave in the library, looking unhappy. I sat down and tried to think of the best way to face the situation when the weirdest thing happened. John came over.

"What do you want?" I said, looking up at him.

"Sorry, but I have to talk to you Karkat."

"What?" I said, as rudely as possible as if that would make him go away. It never did before.

He sighed. "I'm moving."

"Like I care," It was actually kind of shocking. I convinced myself I didn't care.

"I know you don't." he said. He sort of seemed sad. "I just-I just wanted to tell you sorry before I left. I'm sorry for being a jerk and choosing some guy I barely knew over you. I'm just really sorry for everything. I just needed you to know before I left. I guess I didn't realize friendship is more important than love."

"Love?" Why did that, of all things, come out of my mouth? There were so many better things I could have said. I guess I was sort of shocked.

"Yeah, love. I've gotten over her though. Some things aren't worth it." His eyes settled on Vriska, sitting alone across the room. I looked at him and he kept going. "It was all just spur of the moment I guess. I didn't think it was going to ever go that far. I figured out Dave and Vriska aren't that cool. Karkat, I wish this was something small like all our other fights so I could end it by saying forgive and forget like we used to."

I was quiet. "Forgiving you sounds ok, but forgetting…I don't think I could. John, I forgive you. It's not all ok, but I forgive you." I could almost see the weight fall off him.

"Really?" he said.

"Yeah. Really. It was good while it lasted," I said. "Bye John."

He looked at me, both happy and sad. "Bye Karkat." I felt a weird regret as he walked away and sat down next to Vriska and said something quietly. I think I knew what he was telling her. I remember a long time ago how John said he'd never deal with a long distance relationship. I didn't know if this still stood for him.

I sighed. This day was dramatic enough. I'd just wait for tomorrow to talk to Terezi. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. In the middle of my talk with John, Sollux and Feferi had come in and luckily they decided not to join. They were sitting together and Feferi was smiling. It was nice to see her smile again.

Maybe, soon enough, I could smile again too.

Sometimes I remember back a long time ago, even before they died. Like back in middle school when we were all 14 and couldn't wait until high school. Back when I thought we all were going to change just because that's what growing up did, that's what high school did. I remember standing outside the high school for the first time and thinking 'this is where everyone changes. This is where we grow up.'

Needless to say, I had no idea.

What I'm trying to say here isn't that I was an idiot, as usual. What I'm trying to say is, in a way, I was right, because even before the 'incident' people were changing. Jade started wearing makeup, Dave grew around four inches, I once overheard Nepeta asking Aradia and Feferi if she was fat, and Kanaya started acting more like an adult than usual. Not that any of that is at all an excuse for some of the stuff Dave, Vriska, and Terezi had done. Not at all, a lot of what they did was pretty unforgiveable. I think my point here is they were changing even before the 'incident' and they used to be actual, real life somewhat decent human beings.

Like back in 8th grade when Dave first moved here and he had the strongest Texan accent you've ever heard. He wore these huge stupid shades (well he still wears them but now they're considered 'cool') and everyone mocked him, both secretly and to his face. The thing was, though, he didn't care. People said bad things about him, spread rumors about him, and insulted him in every way they could, but he didn't care at all. He also had comebacks to a lot of things they said and could beat the crap out of anyone and everyone in school, but one day when he was over for some dumb project, I can't remember what, he turned to me and said, "Karkat, why does everyone hate me?"

I was a bit surprised but replied with "Because they need to pretend their pointless lives have some sort of meaning so they take out all there anger about not having a purpose or identity or crap like that on people who know who they are. People who know what living means, the real question is, why don't you care?"

"That's the problem Karkat, I do care, a little bit. They're just not worth me caring. The real real question is how did some short guy who if he was on a TV would be bleeped out more than R2-D2 say something as 'deep,' or whatever, as that?" I shrugged.

"I don't know Strider. The other real question is how does someone who pretends to be as cool as you do use a Star Was reference?"

"Because," he said, keeping a straight face, "I am just as much a nerd as everyone thinks I am."

Then I realized I actually didn't hate Dave Strider. I actually liked him, friend wise, a little bit. "Don't let them get to you, OK?" he nodded.

Then he became king of the entire 8th grade.

Kanaya and I used to be extremely close. Her mother and my father where friends when they were younger and I would frequently spend my weekend with the Maryam's. Kankri would get dragged off with Porrim, leaving me with Kanaya. Kanaya was the smartest kid I knew and became my tutor in math in 6th grade when it looked like I was going to fail. She'd save me from Kankri's rants and I'd find reasons for her not to constantly be with Porrim. When she got older she learned how to sew and loved making clothes. I told I didn't mind being her dress up doll if she didn't take pictures of me. I guess I felt like I owed her.

I didn't realize how happy this would make her. I put on (usually) boys clothes she'd made and she'd pin things up or whatever while talking about whatever we wished. She'd talk about Rose and how Rose would come over and try on all the female clothes she made and how nice Rose was until one day I said, "Kanaya just come out already." At first she looked shocked then asked me if she was too obvious about the fact she had a crush on Rose. She eventually calmed down before swearing me to secrecy. After that I'd give her daily relationship advice and told her to ask out Rose and how to do it and when. Two weeks later she and Rose went to the dance together and kissed during the slow dance.

Also, once she got me to literally wear a dress, despite my protests. She said Rose wasn't able to and it was urgent. I really should have known it was a trick. She burst out laughing when I came out wearing the thing and took a picture of me on her phone and we spent the rest of the day wrestling over the phone. She never did delete it.

I'd like to say for the record, even though Kanaya and I definitely aren't friends anymore, I'm 100% sure no one has ever seen that picture besides Kanaya and me.

Now I know I'm ranting but there's one more person I'd like to mention. I don't need to bring up how Terezi and I used to be close or how Eridan would come crying to me for relationship advice. You already know that. Everyone knows that.

It's that Vriska once told me she didn't want to be the bad guy.

I don't think Vriska has ever known what rejection feels like. Everything she's always wanted has been given to her. She acts like she never needs to work at things but she does, she plans all her revenges, settles all her scores, and destroys all the problems in her life by herself because that's what she does best. She manipulates people, scares people and messes with their minds to get what she wants. And she loves ever second of it. She loves to be in control.

But at the freshman dance, a couple of years ago, she broke down. She lost control.

No one else saw it. I was getting hot and had lost Nepeta so I decided to go outside. No one else was out there, at least where I was, probably because there was no place to make out. I saw someone sitting alone and I walked over to them. When I got closer I saw that it was Vriska, all alone, her hair down, her face in her hands. When I sat down she looked up at me, her makeup still intact, not a tear to be seen, but she looked like she was going to kill me.

"What do you want Vantas? Here to rub it in my face? Haha, the love of my life is gay. Good going Serket." She said the last few lines in my voice, mocking me even though I hadn't said anything. "If that's all you have to say then leave. I get it." She scowled at the ground. "I was bested by a clown." She said, angrily.

"Actually I just wanted to get out of there for a second. I had no idea you were out here." I said, sitting on the ground next to her. She sighed.

"Fine. I doubt you'd be the one to mock me anyway. I don't think anyone saw me leave. John's sick and Tavros is busy being in love with some clown freak. You know sometimes I hate to be the center of attention. Now I just want someone to kiss me." She looked out into the parking lot. "You got a cigarette?" I shook my head. "Of course you won't. If you got addicted to anything it'd be overdosing on anti-depressants." I gave her a confused look as she opened up her purse, shuffling around. "There's one," she said with a smile before lighting up. "First major dance and I'm sitting outside smoking a cigarette with Karkat Vantas. Great." She said, smoke leaking out of her mouth and nose. We were quiet for a while, I didn't know what to say but I couldn't just leave. "You know," she said "everyone hates me."

"No they don't," I said, lying. Kanaya even admitted sometimes Vriska pushed her to her limit.

"Liar. No one likes me. You know why? Because I only care about myself. It's lonely at the top." She paused. "And now I'm sounding arrogant. Great. I'm rude to everyone. I was an idiot to think anyone like Tavros would like me. I don't deserve him, I'm crap compared to him. I'm not worth his time. The problem with me is I always thought it was the other way around." She lit another cigarette, putting the butt of her last one on the ground. "You know Vantas I don't want to be the bad guy, but I've been the bad guy since I was in kindergarten. If I started acting nice now everyone would think I'm up to something. I'm in far too deep." She sighed. "I'm an idiot. I always was."

"You could at least try," I wasn't in the mood for being sympathetic towards Vriska. "You don't even bother. Vriska you know it's not too late. You know you can change sides. You're 15. That's what, 18% of your life. You can easily switch sides. You just don't want to."

She looked me in the eyes, her eyes bigger than usual "Karkat you're right. I still can." She looked at the ground, "But I don't know how. And we both know in the end, no matter how much I try to change, it won't make a difference.

"Karkat! Karkitty!" Nepeta called, coming out to look for me.

"Go get her. I'm fine. Go!" she said when I hesitated. Then I sighed and stood up and walked back to Nepeta. I stooped and turned to Vriska.

"It's never too late to learn," I said before going over to Nepeta, apologizing for going out without telling her.

Just because they did this stuff doesn't change a thing. It doesn't change the fact that Dave doesn't speak to me and told everyone I watch romcons and it certainly doesn't mean he didn't steal my friend. It doesn't change the fact that Kanaya never looks me in the eyes and it doesn't change the fact she broke up with Rose because Vriska convinced her she wasn't gay. It definitely doesn't make Vriska a good guy.

But when I think of weekends with Kanaya and days I spent with Dave and times Vriska's been nice it reminds me that they're human.

It makes everything ten times worse, but it also makes it ten times better.

Don't ask me what that means because I don't have a clue. I'm just ranting now.

I was thinking of that a week after the talk with John and I ended up staring at Terezi, then looking away. I hadn't had the guts to go talk to her within the last few days and I couldn't now because she was with Dave. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on them. I mean how could I help it? They we're talking incredibly loud anyway.

"Wait, what?" Dave said, in shock. I didn't know what Terezi just said, but I think I knew.

"I'm sorry Dave, it's just not working out."

"What do you mean? How could you dump me?" he didn't seem sad, more mad.

"Because you're rude to everyone. It's just not working out." Terezi said, looking away from him.

"How have I been a jerk to you?"

"Not to me! Well sometimes. It's just you're rude to everyone around you. You're not a king Dave, you never were. Honestly Nepeta used to ship you with Vriska because neither of you care about anyone but yourselves." She said it all calmly, then something in her snapped. "You know what? Screw being nice! You've never been nice to anyone, why should I be nice to you? Dave why did you have to be mean to them? And you know who I mean by them. You'd always force me to not to talk to him when I wanted to. Dave I've wanted to leave you so many times but I've been scared. Scared of how easily you could ruin people. I didn't want that to happen to me. I'm not scared anymore." She paused "You know it affected me to, their deaths. Nepeta and I were close. I haven't been handling it well and frankly acting like it never happened isn't helping. All of this is your fault. You did this to yourself."

"Terezi…" he said, in shock.

"I'm sorry Dave. It just isn't working. You know everything I just said is true." He didn't respond, it was just silence.

"But…"

"But what Dave?" she said angrily. He didn't say anything. "He was my friend. You never needed to hurt anyone, yet you did. It never had to end up like this. I'm done with you and your crap. Bye Dave." She stood up and stormed out.

"Terezi!" he called out, but it was too late. She had left and he slumped down in his seat. Everyone started talking as soon as the door had slammed and Dave sat alone. Everyone was talking and gossiping. In a few minutes she came back in and no one, not even Dave, noticed. She sat down next to me.

"Hey Karkat," she said softly. She leaned her cane on the table.

"Hey Terezi," I said. We both sat there, silent.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to say "you should be!' then leave, but I didn't. "I know. I know you're sorry." I said quietly. "I guess it's OK. Well not OK, but I understand."

"No it's not. Not at all."

"Yeah. Yeah you're right." We sat there, looking at each other, then away.

"I wish things were OK again, but they won't be for a long time." She sighed. "I wish we could meet again."

"What do you mean?"

"To start all over, like we'd never met before, like it never happened. Like I was a new girl and you were a new boy who'd never met before…" she trailed away "I messed up. I messed up so bad."

"Yes you did. You did mess up."

She smiled a little bit. "You aren't helping."

"I'm not am I?" I looked at her. "So you want to meet again?" she nodded. "Fine. Hello. My name is Karkat Vantas."

She smiled a little bit and for a moment I saw a little bit of the Terezi I'd missed for a year "Hey Karkat. I'm Terezi Pyrope. How are you?"

I laughed a little bit. "I'm fine I guess."

"Do you mind if I call you Karkles?"

"Not at all," I said "so Terezi, how are you?"

"Could be better. So, where are you from Karkles?"

"A lot of places, not many of them pretty. Things have been pretty dark the last year or so for me."

"Me too. I've messed up a lot. I hurt people I care about and I think they blame me."

"It's ok. I'm sure you can work it out."

"It's just…well he told me not to talk to you and he pulled me away whenever I tried to talk to you. I didn't know what to do. The whole thing about calling you gay or whatever, it's all so stupid! I don't even know what I was doing. I think I was crazy for a bit."

"It's fine Terezi, it's OK. We'll figure it out."

"You're sure?"

"Not at all. We just have to try."

People always talk about bad things in life as bumps in the road. I think this was more like a mountain. Whenever I started climbing the top got farther away and things keep pushing me down. It kept getting higher and higher and higher.

Now maybe, just maybe, I'd finally reached the top.

A/N: It's…it's done…*gross sobbing*. So I'll try to keep this A/N short but I got a lot stuff to tell you guys!

First off, this was so much fun to write. Before February this was the longest, most thought out thing I had ever written (still the most thought out but The Month of Love is longer). I was always so excited to read your comments and I really meant to reply to them. It just…yeah I got busy and forgot. Bad reason, I know! Don't hurt me! Anyway I just want you to know each and every one, if you reviewed or not, of you are my babies. My beautiful, sobbing babies. I just never thought anyone would read this mostly because my last serious fanfic bomb. Thank you all so much for reading it and favoriting, following, and review! I feel bad that I didn't get to post this on Sunday. I meant to post it on Saturday because that was my birthday and it'd be like a totally awesome present for me to finish this, but sadly I got sick and really didn't feel like writing. OK ALL OF THIS IS BESIDE THE POINT THE REAL THING IS I LOVE YOU. 3 (that's a heart BTW. Not just a lonely three)

OK, but real quick I've got to say something. There these two people I kind want to actually thank personally. First thanks to Brit98! She (sorry if you're a guy I'm just assuming you're female!) reviewed everything and is a fabulous person. You're just so…BLUH. Words cannot describe it. The other person I want to thank personally is happilyTraumatized! Yeah I still need to reply to your message but it was so sweet, omg. Like, I exploded. I'm currently dead because you're so nice. OK I LIED ONE MORE PERSON. Thanks to Obvious Ghost for giving me really helpful advice for when I work on the sequel and stuff. So thanks to you three so much (I wanted to thank another person but the only real reason was because they're like my favorite fanfic writer ever so I thought that might be kind of rude) (so they shall remain nameless).

Thanks so much! I love you all! Next weekend you'll have your epilogue then I'll start working on the sequel.

Till then

- Kayla-Peixis

PS: I apologize now for any emotional trauma I seem to have caused.