Okay.

I understand that Katara and a lot of other characters are messed up. I understand that many of you find it hard to believe or understand. But you must understand that I am writing this story based on how I see love. I have read so many "first look and she falls in love" stories or "Two happy people fall in love" stories, and I really just want to change it up.

For me, the best love stories are stories where both people save each other from themselves. Sure, there are great love stories where both people are amazingly happy and googly eyes and blah. But in this story, people are not all happy. People are just people. Everyone is a little broken until they find love, and in this case, Katara is really broken.

So deal with it. Katara is not going to just start making out with Aang.

Yet…

So if you can't deal with this type of love story, I suggest you just stop reading. Because everything is not smiles and giggles. Kind of.

Sorry about that long note, but I just feel like a lot of the people reading this have a predisposition on how Katara should act. So yea. And there are reasons she is like this. It shall all be revealed later.

Also I meant to address this last chapter, but Appa and Momo will make an appearance so don't fret… people always get so worked up about them two…

Ok onwards with the chapter!

Everyday is the same thing.

I wake up.

Then after hours of walking around in pointless movements, I go back to sleep.

My real life is in the dreams that fill my head when I close my eyes. Not the blank world outside that just repeats itself over and over.

It is all the same.

My life is a nightmare that threatens me everytime my eyes blink open.

And sometimes I can't help but think:

Is it really worth it?

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It had been two weeks since my life had started to slip out of my grasp. Out of my control. Into a spiral of madness.

After my encounter with the avatar, I had decided to return home. When I got there, I had apologized to everyone, but deep down I still hadn't fully forgiven them.

Every time I looked at them, I felt pangs of betrayal. As if they had let me down somehow. And no matter what I told myself, I couldn't relinquish the deep rooted deception. But I couldn't put my finger on the source of the anger, so I just chose to ignore it. To cover it up. To hide it from myself, and them.

I chose to let life move on. Mostly.

After returning home, I had been grounded. Which was not shocking.

What was shocking was the new board of wood that covered my window. I know it was put there to keep me in, but it felt more like it was keeping the rest of the world out.

My window had always been my escape. My way out of the pain. My way into the world of no hurt. And now it was gone. A part of me was gone.

I had obviously really scared my family with my recent behavior. They had never taken away my window before. They had never trapped me like this. But here I was, locked in my room.

I was laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling. My fingers were twitching around, bending the small droplets of water that were suspended in the air. The hypnotizing movement calmed me and allowed me to think.

Usually I would just daydream when I did this, but this time was different. As I watched the water droplets move, I started to reflect on everything.

Before I knew what was happening, I was delving into the more sensitive of my moments. The moments where I was vulnerable. And weak.

The moments where I had lashed out in my powerless state.

At the time, all off my emotions had seemed rational. They had seemed right. But now I started to question myself. Maybe I hadn't been quite right.

I had accused my gran of lecturing me, but she was just trying to help me see straight. I was acting like a fool, and she didn't want me to get hurt. And I had walked away.

I had accused my father of betraying me, but he didn't even say anything against me. He had just talked about how proud he was of me. And I had disrespected him for that.

I had accused my brother of insulting me, but he was just trying to help. He saw that I was drowning, and he had extended a hand to pull me from the icy waters of my mind. And I just pulled him down with me.

As I listed all the people I resented, I realized that it wasn't them. It was me. I was ignoring their help and letting myself drown. I shouldn't be resenting them. I should be resenting myself.

Finally my list ended with the Avatar.

Aang.

He had helped me.

And I just treated him like a jerk.

I had pushed him away like everyone else.

But unlike everyone else, he did not back down. He only tried harder.

And he barely even knew me.

At those words, my mind started to close once again. My rational thoughts started to dissipate and they were replaced with the same words that I had always used to push people away.

They didn't know me.

And I couldn't let them know me.

Not since-

Suddenly a knock at the door shattered my concentration and the droplets in the air splattered down in a cold wave on my face. I wiped a hasty hand across my cheeks and bended the water into the bowl on my nightstand. Then I sat up to face the visitor.

"Come in." I muttered, hoping maybe they wouldn't hear my timid voice and they would leave me alone.

But they heard me.

The door opened and my Gran walked in. Her expression was more depressing than normal and it made me instantly wonder what was happening outside my room. I had locked myself in for a while, and I wasn't even sure what day it was.

My Gran walked up to my bed where I still sat with my legs splayed over the side.

"Your brother and Miki are leaving to go home soon."

That's right. They were going back to Kyoshi. I had forgotten that they were only here to visit us. Somehow my mind had tricked me into thinking that they were never leaving. Yet tomorrow, they would be gone. And they probably wouldn't be back for another year.

Even though we had fought, I would still miss my brother. And I would definitely miss little Miki. He was one of the only people that I never really resented. He was my light.

"The ship leaves at noon." My Gran continued through my whirring thoughts. I suddenly realized that she was asking if I wanted to say goodbye to him. She was giving me a choice.

"I can go?" I said tentatively, attempting to hide the uncertainty in my voice. I did want to say goodbye to my brother and my nephew, but I was a little afraid of myself.

When I had been reflecting on my actions, everything bad had always been caused by me. I didn't want to risk hurting people again. And I couldn't handle any more collateral damage. Being secluded made me realize this.

But I couldn't shut my door and hide forever. Despite my will to do so…

"Of course you can say goodbye." My Gran continued, not even hesitating for a moment to acknowledge my self doubts.

"But I hope you know, that the sun is almost at the top of the sky…" My Gran added right before she left the room. Her statement hit me with a wave of shock. I had lost all track of time without my window to show me the world.

"Well I have to say goodbye." I announced to myself, forgetting all of my previous reservations.

When the door shut, I jumped from my bed and made my way towards my closet. I chose a satiny blue shirt, that had been a gift from my brother's travels, and a pair of white pants. My attire needed to be nice, but I wasn't willing to wear a dress.

After slipping into my outfit as quickly as possible, I decided that I should brush my tangled hair. Over the time in my room, I had accumulated quite a mess of knots in my usually soft downy hair. When the comb racked through the knots, it sent pangs of pain to my scalp.

After what seemed like a tug of war between my hair and the comb, I finally got my hair into a semi tolerable state. I then proceeded to throw the hair into a quick braid.

With my clean clothes and my braided hair, I flew towards the door. My time was running short. I shoved the door open so hard that it hit the person who was about to knock on it. I could tell be the thud that it was a painful hit too.

When I turned the corner, I found my father clutching his fist that had been slammed by the door. He looked up to say something, but I spoke before him.

"Gotta say goodbye!" I explained hastily, before turning around and dashing away from him and towards the front door. I was out of the door before he could even stammer a word.

And then I ran.

I felt the snow and wind fly past my face.

I felt the almost peaked sun glimmer down on my exposed cheeks.

I felt my hair whipping against my back with every step I took.

I felt the soft ground that softened my impacts.

I felt good.

And I kept running.

And running.

People who saw me fly by, must have thought I was crazy. And the truth is, I was crazy. And I still am.

I could hear a ship at the dock far away blow its horn to signal its approaching departure.

My steps intensified.

Faster.

And faster.

My breathing became more shallow, and I could feel a burn building up in my thighs.

But I just went faster.

And then the snow beneath my feet changed into the wooden planks of the dock. I came to a stop and looked around frantically. I had to find them.

There were people everywhere, waving at the people on the ship, but none of those people were them.

For a split second I thought I might have been too late. They were probably already on the ship, not even knowing that I was searching for them.

And then I saw them.

They were hand in hand as the moved up the walkway onto the ship. But the ship was two docks down and I knew I would never make it in time. But I didn't come all this way to miss them by mere seconds.

I sprinted to the edge of the dock that I stood on, and used the loudest voice I had to scream their names.

"SOKKA! MIKI!" Sokka didn't hear me, but Miki did. He whipped around and his face lit up with cheerfulness. Even from far away, I could see him smile. He waved his little hand at me and I returned his gesture. He then pulled his hand away from his father's and fumbled it around in his pocket for a moment.

Then he pulled out a small object.

It was the little penguin I had gotten him.

The corner of my mouth raised in a crooked smile and I chuckled to myself. I gave him a thumbs up and he smiled even more.

But then Sokka grabbed his little hand once more, not noticing me waving profusely, and pulled Miki out of my sight and onto the ship.

"Will you go penguin sledding with me?" I whispered to the fading figure of Miki and my brother. Or course, they couldn't hear me, but I repeated the words once more to myself.

After Sokka and Miki disappeared over the edge of the ship, the walkway was raised and the ship started to move away from the dock slowly. Moving away from the South Pole. Moving away from me.

I small tear escaped my barrier and cascaded down my cheek.

I knew they would visit again, but for some reason this departure felt more final than usual. Part of me knew that the next time I saw them it would be different. I would be different. They would be different. Everything would be different.

The thought saddened me and brought an overwhelming feeling that forced me to sit down. I plopped down on the edge of the dock I still stood on, and hung my feet over the side. I watched the ship until it became a small speck in the huge expanse of the ocean.

After the walkway had been removed, all the family and friends had dispersed and it wasn't long before I was the only one still watching the ship fade away.

I didn't feel like being locked in my room again. I just wanted to be free for a little while. I just needed a moment of calm. A moment to recollect myself.

I tried to convince myself that they weren't abandoning me. They weren't hurting me. They had visited me before and they had left me before, but for some reason I felt a little more broken after they left this time.

I couldn't deny my sadness. It was too blatant to be ignored.

All I could do was try to focus on other things.

Like the ocean.

Or the sky.

Or the random person who just sat down beside me.

My thoughts popped like a bubble. But the residue of grief was not cast out of my mind. I still wanted to sulk.

I glanced up to the stranger for only a moment, but I only needed a moment to recognize who it was.

"What are you doing here, Avatar Aang?" My voice was more monotone then usual and it lacked its feistiness. I said this in the direction of the water below my feet. My lack of fight must have startled him because it took him a moment before he could respond.

"I was saying goodbye to Sokka and his son." He said as if it was an obvious fact.

Great. Even the dumb Avatar had shown up on time to say goodbye to my brother.

"How do you know my brother?" I demanded, finally looking up at him. He had only been here for a few days. Maybe a week or so at most. How could he have made friends with my family that fast without me knowing. But then again, I never really bothered to ask my brother questions about his friends.

"We work together. And we have become close friends over the years. He really livens up the meetings…" He added the last part as if he was reminiscing in an old joke. His eyes drifted off to where the sky met the ocean. Than he turned back to me with a crooked smile.

I was about to laugh at his quirkiness but I decided against it. Instead I looked down again to conceal the small smile that graced my lips.

"Yea he does that." I added quietly. My brother was quite young to be such a large political figure. The only person near his age was probably the Avatar. Everyone else was much older and lacked the humor that my brother had.

No wonder he had become friends with the Avatar. Sokka liked to joke, and the Avatar liked to laugh.

"He was the one that invited me to dinner the other night, of course I didn't know that he wouldn't be present…" He drifted off. I looked up to see what emotion was playing on his face. Oddly it wasn't happiness. It was more along the lines of confusion.

But he must have noticed that I was observing him, because his cheeks bursted with a pink shade of red.

And then, he turned his stormy gray eyes and locked them onto mine with a look of pure sincerity.

"And I didn't know you would be there..." He said quietly, but even though the volume was low, I could still hear the power and truth behind his words.

"You are one of a kind, Katara." He finished, never breaking our eye contact.

He was completely serious. His eyes bore into mine, trying to convey his feelings through a glance. When he looked at me, it felt different than the normal look people gave me. Most people looked down at me with pity or disgust or even hate but he held none of those emotions in his eyes. His eyes only held honest admiration for me.

And I couldn't help but blush in response. I did not deserve his admiration. I deserved the pity and disgust people gave me. Or so I thought. I had convinced myself that it was what I deserved.

But sitting on this dock, staring into the eyes of Avatar Aang, I realized that maybe I deserved something more.

I deserved to be admired.

I deserved to say goodbye.

I deserved freedom.

I deserved respect.

I deserved more from life.

And like a flash of lightning his face transformed from the serious stature to his normal lighthearted smile. But this time, I didn't find his smile annoying. I found it somewhat comforting and empowering.

I shot him a hesitant smile in return, unsure if it was the right move. Upon seeing my face, his smile only broadened. I blinked my eyes shut and turned back to the misty waters below my feet, hoping he couldn't see my face become even darker.

"Thanks." I muttered sheepishly.

The air around us was filled with an awkward. I think he was confused at why I didn't insult him. I was confused myself. The open wound from my brother leaving had left my defenses down and I was tired from constantly fighting. Sometimes all I needed was peace.

And the Avatar was the leader of peace in the world…

"So, I haven't seen you around the market lately…" He started, trying to elicit a response of some sort from me. He must have been wondering why I wasn't out stealing mangoes.

"Eh, I was kinda sorta grounded." I couldn't hide the embarrassment of being grounded despite my age. I avoided his eyes so I wouldn't have to see the judgement.

"Oh. Your parents found out about your high stakes fruit burglaries?" He smirked.

"No. It was something else. Something stupid." I answered, hoping he realized my reluctance to reveal the whole story.

"I gotcha. You went for the watermelon, didn't you? Only true masters can take those." He joked, just trying to lighten my sodden mood.

"True masters?" I said sarcastically with an eyeroll.

"Yea! Like me!" He said as he straightened his posture, trying to look older and educated. I just let out a giggle at his attempt. He turned and looked down at me in a mocking manner.

"I bet you I could steal a watermelon better then you." He teased with complete confidence, still sitting in his ridiculous stance.

"You're on." I shot back. I loved challenges.

In my sudden competitiveness, I unconsciously moved my hand from my lap to the dock. My back was starting to ache and I needed to prop myself up. But when my hand landed, it did not meet wood.

I hadn't noticed that he had placed his hand in between us, for the same reason I had. So his hand intercepted mine.

The instant our skin touched, I felt a flame burst on my fingertips. In the cold air, his hand radiated an absurd amount of warmth. The shock of the heat repelled my hand with a swift jolt. I pulled my hand back to my chest and clutched it as if it was still on fire.

This touch was different from when he had grabbed my hand at the market. This touch meant something more. It held a new feeling in it. It made me want to touch his hand again. It attracted me like a magnet. I wanted to feel his addictive heat again. I wanted to feel his skin against mine.

I wanted it so bad.

More than I had wanted anything.

But I pushed my need down and hid it away as if it had never existed.

I could feel the fear and embarrassment rising into my face. It didn't take long before my face held the same heat that my fingertips had.

"I'm s-sorry-" I stuttered out. I had ruined everything. I had ruined this moment of peace. I could feel the world crashing in on me once more.

As I continued to stammer an explanation, he just stared at the hand I had just grazed. His cheeks were painted pink, and my fear only grew. Then his eyes flickered up to mine.

And the very corner of his mouth twitched into a smile.

And for some reason, I smiled back. I couldn't help it. It just slipped out.

I suddenly looked down into my lap and pushed one of my stray hairs back behind my ear with my hand. I wanted to say something, but words would not come. All I could do was savor the fading warmth in my fingertips.

It was crazy how fast my confidence had fled.

"So…" He awkwardly broke the silence. I could tell he was still in shock at our touch, but he was recovering faster than me, who still sat silent.

"Do you-" He was cut off with a high pitched squeal.

"OH MY SPIRITS! Its the avatar!" A woman exclaimed from somewhere down the dock. She had a group of girls behind her, and all of their faces instantly lit up at the sight of the arrowed monk.

They all ran over in a crazy stampede to meet Avatar Aang, the man of their dreams. And seeing their crazed eyes, I could tell that their dreams were not rated PG.

I looked over at the man sitting beside me, but his eyes were no longer in my direction. He was looking at his fangirls with one of his signature smiles.

I was in shock.

For some reason, I thought he had reserved his smile for me.

I thought I had meant something.

Just a moment ago, I had thought he felt the same things I had.

But looking at the scene before me, I realized that I was nothing special. I was just another girl. Another person for the great avatar to please.

He probably just saw me as a nutcase in need of a friend. He probably pitied me and just hid it from my knowledge.

And I had fallen for his act. For his smile. His smile that was now entertaining the fans running towards us.

And I was done with the show.

I got up with as much poise as possible, and I casually wiped the dirt off of my pants. I covered and concealed all of the feelings that had been rising in me. All the happiness and joy and warmth. I convinced myself that they were all fake. I was just acting like him.

"Well this has been fun…" I was about to call him 'Aang' when I was interrupted by one of the fan girls.

"AHHH. Can you sign my scroll?!" She looked like she was on the verge of passing out. I could tell that the avatar wasn't even hearing what I was saying. So I just turned around and walked away.

"Avatar." I finished my statement to myself.

No one heard me.

They never did.

Eh heh. Well that was close. Katara almost liked Aang… :) Ok well leave your thoughts. And yea.