Amanda knelt next to Rebecca's grave, and continued to talk to the woman who had been her teacher, a special relationship for an immortal, and more like a mother to her, than woman who she had called mother. Rebecca was the person she had always taken her most difficult problems to, and talking to her had helped her make decisions, forced her to face things.
"You know I love him. Maybe you always knew. Do you know, it took us over 350 years and the impending destruction of everything we had ever known to get us to admit that we felt something for each other. And even then, we couldn't say the words!
I love his big brown eyes, his beautiful body, his sense of honour, his boyscout rules (annoying as they can be), his compassion, his empathy... oh come on, I love him. Howcome is that so hard to say? You know that I was nearly thirty, and had already died once, before someone, you, showed me what forgiveness was, what it meant to love. It is hard to unlearn the lessons of childhood, that you are no good, unlovable, that the only way to get affection is by manipulation and lying. Having to be wary of everyone you meet for centuries doesn't help much. Immortals are after your head, mortals would fear you and kill you if they had any suspicion of what you are. How are you supposed to switch all that off and believe in one man's love?"