Chapter 7

A man strode out onto a platform in the center of a tall, cylindrical room, before calling out a single word, "Root!"

Instantly, hundreds of masked faces surrounded him, looking up expectantly.

"It has come to my attention that the Kyuubi's jinchuriki has been kidnapped and is currently being held in Training Ground 44. Now is an opportune moment to obtain the Kyuubi's power, as there is only one person guarding him.

"You four," the man pointed to a Hyuuga, an operative from Suna, a swordsman, and one taijutsu specialist, "are to go and find the jinchuriki, kill the watcher, and bring the jinchuriki back to me. Go."

The four assigned disappeared again, and with a short, "Dismissed," from the man, everyone else did as well.

"Let's see how this person deals with my Root instead of the normal ANBU…"

The Forest of Death

I was out gathering food when I felt it. As if in response, the entire forest around me went silent as well, allowing me to pinpoint the incoming danger with ease. I stepped back about a foot, and a blast of pressurized air whizzed past right in front of me, where my head had been. I would've called out to taunt my attacker, but I knew it was pointless, as everyone spoke Japanese here.

I continued walking calmly with the food past the trench dug by the blast, and waited for another attack to come. My attacker, obviously not one to disappoint, began firing blast after blast of pressurized air at me, all of which I dodged with ease. That was the problem with air-based attacks; sure, they were great at cutting through things, but the power required to keep them in shape made them slow and cumbersome in comparison to a flamethrower. Fire just needed power to burn, not to stay in any given shape. The more power put into it, the hotter the flame; the hotter the flame, the quicker it consumed the oxygen around it; the quicker the oxygen was consumed the quicker it expanded.

A figure dropping down in front of me brought me out of my internal soliloquy for long enough to dismiss them as a low-level threat, before continuing on towards my house, now dodging two sets of attacks. When concentrated beams of aura started flying at me, I placed the food by the base of a tree, called to the inhabitants to protect it, and began to run away.

Sure, big, cumbersome attacks like the massive sword the one had or the air blasts from the other were easy enough to dodge because I could sense them coming. But aura, on the other hand, is a different matter entirely. It is basically just life-force, and it's difficult to sense the change in the flow of life-force when you're in a forest as old as this one. So instead I just entrusted my safety to insane speeds and unpredictable patterns.

Eventually, though, I was forced to stop due to getting trapped in a box canyon deep in the forest. The only way out was straight back through my attackers, but that was an option that was just right out. The only other way out would be straight up and out over the top of the walls, and that was just impossible while keeping high speeds and dodging as well. As I went over my options, I recalled the day that I received the items that would spell these people's destruction

Flashback, eight days ago

I sat next to the bed of the boy I had rescued from the mob; he still hadn't woken up since then. I was going to attempt to do a mind dive to see what had happened to his psyche, when I heard a melody that I hadn't heard for a long, long time. As I stepped outside, in a flash of light, a wooden box appeared in the center of the clearing. I opened it, just for confirmation, before closing it with a smile. Everything was there, even the holsters and spare. It was like a dream come true, or finding a long-lost friend.

'Now… Now we can have fun here…'

End flashback

I was cornered, and my pursuers knew it. But even with only my instrument and a spare bow, I could still beat them. Everyone knows that an animal is most dangerous when cornered.

The strange masked assailants dropped down all around me. I pulled out my spare bow, waiting for the right moment to attack. Then, an opportunity presented itself

The first just jumped straight at me. I held out the magically strengthened bow towards his body, and his throat was impaled on the end of it, until I kicked the now corpse off. I turned towards the rest of my enemies, just in time for one of them to finish making a series of symbols with their hands. They shouted something in Japanese—really hating myself for not learning it yet—that I didn't understand, before I felt a huge wall of wind throw me backwards, and through some of the trees all around us.

I flipped upright, and threw my bow towards the man with outstanding speed and unerring accuracy. The sharpened metal point passed through his skull like a hot knife through butter, pushing him back and sticking him to the tree ten feet behind him. I rushed up and grabbed the bow before turning to the remaining two attackers. The pupil-less eyes of the one unnerved me slightly, but I held my ground.

The taller one drew a massive sword, and rushed me with surprising speed. Still using the bow, I blocked each strike with lightning fast reflexes, before slamming him in the side of the head with the same item. He crumpled to the ground, but I couldn't tell whether he was merely unconscious or in fact dead. The last attacker—and I say that loosely, since he didn't "attack" per se—stared at me, obviously marveling at how I had defeated their entire team with just a violin bow. I exerted all the will I could muster to establish a mental link so that I could speak directly into their mind. A side effect of this level of mental link, though, was that I could see their thoughts, no matter how much I didn't want to.

Who are you, and what do you want with me?

Over the temporary mental link I had established, I felt surprise, shock, and a touch of anger. But I still learned my answer.

The boy. They were after the boy, just like everyone else that came to this forsaken forest other than the crazy woman who liked snakes too much for her own good. I felt anger rising inside myself, before I ripped the man's mind to shreds.

Of course, not before pulling out all the knowledge of Japanese that they had. There's more than one way to learn a language.

Chapter 8

"Hello, Sir Aaron. It's always a pleasure to see you."

"No, milord, now is a decidedly bad time to see me, if just because of my news that I bring."

"Wonderful," came the exasperated reply. "Do go on."

"The Traveler has returned, and people know who he is and are trying to kill him. In the past three weeks since his return, the Traveler has had groups attempt to kill or capture him on forty-three separate occasions."

A sigh came from the being, before the order of, "Dismissed," allowed the ethereal man to disperse.

Somewhere in Training Ground 44

I was walking back to get the food I had left by the tree, when I sensed a group of four people approaching me at speed. I picked up the food, before resuming my walk towards my new home that had been interrupted by the last group. I had made it to the clearing where I had shown Naruto why he would be learning music before they caught up to me.

I stood in the center of the clearing as the group surrounded me while staying hidden in the trees. Five minutes passed in a way similar to a standoff, with neither of us doing anything, before I spoke.

"So, how long are we just going to stand here before you try to kill me, talk to me, or kidnap the boy?"

I felt mild surprise from all four that I had noticed them, before the one directly in front of me jumped down and walked up to me. I held up a hand, before calling out, "And the other three. I want all of you down here, front and center!" With obvious reluctance, the aforementioned 'other three' dropped down from the trees. However, they didn't come in front of me, instead keeping the tactical advantage of having me surrounded.

"Hello. The Hokage wishes to speak to you and the boy. We are here to escort you."

After a derisive snort, I replied, "I'm sure you do. And the group that came just before you just decided to kill me instead of following orders? They attacked me, unprovoked, and were also after the boy. What proof is there that you won't do the same?"

"We apologize, but there is nothing we can do to quell those fears. However, we are just here to escort you to the Hokage to talk to him. It's a matter concerning the boy under your protection, so it would probably be prudent to bring him as well."

After a few moments' deliberation, I spoke again to them. "Fine. I will come with you this once, but let me go and get Naruto first."

Before any protests could come up, I dashed off to get Naruto for a meeting with this 'Hokage,' the person apparently in charge of the vast city that I had seen.

Hokage Tower

Most people who worked in the Hokage Tower were relatively used to strange-looking people walking in the door, usually mission clients and the like. None, however, could feel anything but confusion—and shock for a few—at seeing a man dressed in brilliantly white robes walking alongside the village's jinchuriki. Especially when the peculiar air was augmented by the presence of a full team of Konoha ANBU escorting the pair to the Hokage's office.

As they disappeared up the stairs, one of the more elderly shinobi on duty in the Tower leaned over to one of the other seniors in the room with a whispered question: "Was that Xi?"

The odd group walked into the Hokage's office, before the four escorts vanished to parts unknown. The man behind the desk gestured towards two chairs, inviting the two to sit. Once they had, he finally said something.

"Mmm… time has certainly treated you better than it has me."

After a blink of confusion, Xi replied, "I'm sorry, but do I know you?"

Cursing his slip-up, Danzo Shimura quickly recovered, "Sorry, you look almost exactly like someone I knew from a while back. It was an easy mistake."

After a moment's silence, the Hokage continued speaking. "Moving on. Now, I understand that you saved young Naruto here from a mob three weeks ago?"

"Yes, I did. He has been quite the interesting person to be around. Ever since he finally woke up a week ago I don't think that he's ever stopped running around except to work on his flute."

"Flute?"

"I showed him a cool technique and he wants me to teach it to him."

"Ah, I see. Conveniently, that leads into what I actually wanted to talk to you about."

The man reached into a drawer in the desk, before pulling out some papers and handing them to Xi. After a moment scanning the forms, he looked back up in mild surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Well, with two stipulations."

"Which are?" prompted the white-robed man.

"An ANBU is assigned to you at all times to keep watch over the boy." Opening the filing cabinet behind him, Danzo pulled out a folder heavy with dust before handing that to Xi as well. "That folder would contain information on the reason why we want the guard. The other is that the boy will join the Academy and become a ninja once he is old enough."

Another few moments' scanning the documents from the folder garnered a nod from the large man, before he said, "I agree. I just sign these forms, right?"

"Precisely."

Two signatures later, another masked man appeared in the room, bowing to Danzo. Danzo proceeded to ask him for his recommendation on whom to assign to them.

"Inu, sir, and possibly Hisame as well."

"Get them." Seconds later, the two ANBU appeared to escort the strange duo back to the Forest of Death.

Back in the Forest

"So, I don't suppose I might learn your real names instead of just Inu and Hikami?"

"No."

"Ya sure?"

"Yes."

"So that means you will tell me?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

A chuckle from up among the branches brought Naruto out of his relentless grilling of the ANBU for names. "Naruto, don't even try. Sneaky secretive types like them won't give in to most forms of torture, and while tortuous, your constant nagging isn't quite as horrible as some of the other things I'm sure they've been through."

"Yes sensei," cam the dejected reply of the boy, eliciting another chuckle from Xi, an action that the two guards mirrored.

"Go practice flute or something, Naruto."

"Okay!" The blond suddenly disappeared to find his instrument to figure out a new song that he'd been working on.

"Now that I've managed to shut him up, if only temporarily, would either of you like a place to take residence in for your time here?"

After an affirmative nod from both, Xi followed up with a knowing smile and, "One bed, or bunk beds?"

Though you couldn't see it due to the masks, both of the ANBU were blushing up a storm. The man got control of himself enough to answer first. "One bed should be fine." One could almost hear the perverted smile under the mask.

The other ANBU slapped her male coworker in the back of the head, before saying, "For that statement, two beds, in separate rooms." A pitiful moan came from the man. "No, you lost your chance, Inu."

"Fine…"

Shaking his head and suppressing a small chuckle at the antics of the two, Xi leaned against the tree behind him, discretely manipulating it into another house for the two eccentric ninja.

Meanwhile, elsewhere

"Are you sure of this?"

"Positive, my leader. There is no way that it is not him."

"Very well. Keep watching, and when the time is right, capture him and bring him to me."

"Yes, milord."

Chapter 9

Three months later

"Sensei?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"We're being followed."

"It took you this long to figure that out? That person has been stalking you for at least the past two weeks once they'd worked up the courage to come in here."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell you because I was using it as a test of your situational awareness."

"My what?"

"Situational awareness. It means how well you can sense your surroundings."

"Oh."

I turned towards the tall tree that the person was hiding among the branches of, before calling out, "It's okay, we know you're there. You can come out now." A small "Eep!" and a quick dash later, I had caught the strange girl as she fell from the tree. I saw that her eyes were the same creepy pupil-less eyes that that one person who had attacked me had.

I suppressed a shudder at that particular memory, before setting the girl down and inquiring, "Why were you following us?"

She said nothing, but blushed slightly and looked over at Naruto, so I could deduce the reason quite easily.

"I see. What is your name?"

"Hinata Hyuuga," was stuttered out by the small girl, causing my eyes to widen. This girl was a Hyuuga? And not just any Hyuuga, but the clan heir as well? I covered my shock quickly, and asked her another question.

"Why are you here all alone? I would've thought that your father would have guards with you."

"I hid from them. They scare me."

I nodded in understanding; those eyes were definitely freaky. "Alright, come with us and have some lunch, I'm sure you're hungry."

With a nod in the affirmative from the young girl, we set off back to the house.

Four months later

"Otouto, we have located your daughter."

A soft sigh of relief for his daughter escaped the Hyuuga Clan head's lips before he composed himself. "Well done. I was concerned that those diplomats from Kumo had tried to take her away. We do know that Kumo has been after the Byakugan for quite some time now. It would not do to let it fall into their hands at this time. Now, where has she been these past four months?"

The de facto head of the branch family worked a finger below the neckline of his shirt in nervousness before replying, "Err, the Forest of Death, otouto."

Hiashi's eyes widened, before he narrowed them at his brother in the patented "Hyuuga Death Glare," which caused Hizashi to begin sweating. "And I assume that she is still alive, otherwise you would not be here giving me this news, correct?"

A new voice entered the conversation. "Yes Hiashi-kun, she is alive and well, and training with an old family friend."

The brothers turned towards the door to find a figure hunched over with age leaning on a walking stick. Her face was heavily lined, and her hair so far past graying that it was a blinding white, but her Byakugan eyes twinkled with amusement as she smiled.

Hiashi blinked once in surprise, before speaking. "Honoka-san, you knew of this?"

The old woman outright laughed at that statement, before replying mirthfully, "Know? Of course I knew! I've known that this would happen ever since I met my friend Xi over ninety years ago! He even told me the date she would disappear! I may be old, but my memory hasn't failed me yet."

Hizashi spoke this time. "Honoka-san… what on earth are you talking about?"

Honoka sighed in mock frustration before replying as she began to leave the room, "Don't worry about Hinata, she's in good hands. She also happens to be living with that nice young Uzumaki boy, Naruto." She glanced back over her shoulder at the two brothers with a smirk. "Hinata seems to have taken quite the liking to him. Too bad nobody knows who his parents are, they might be able to end up getting together eventually if his parents were anyone important."

She gave a rather Wicked Witch-esque cackle as she vanished in a burst of wind, a technique she… learned… from an old friend in Suna.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Suna

"I get the feeling that somebody has ripped off one of my techniques just now…"

"Oh, be quiet, Chiyo-chan. You know that the only one who would even dare would be me," came the joking reply of her brother.

Chiyo subsequently punched him in the shoulder, unintentionally sending him through a wall in the process. "Shut up, Ebizou."

Five months later

"Well, your training with me is done for now, now go on out to the Academy and be the best that there is! Otherwise, I'll feed you to Chukwubuikem, 'kay?"

"But Chuck-san is nice to us, sensei!"

"Yeah, and he helps us with fishing too!"

"Fine, I won't feed you to Chukwubuikem—" the two children cheered at this statement and ran off towards the gate. "…But I will find something in this forest that you're not friends with to feed you to!" called the aforementioned "sensei" after the two.

Xi watched the retreating forms two friends as they ran off towards the Academy. He raised a hand and made a 'come over here' motion to the empty air behind him. A figure wearing a mask bearing the kanji for 'storm' on it appeared behind him.

"They're going to absolutely hate it, won't they?"

"Most definitely, Xi-san."

"Good…"

Three minutes and seventeen seconds later, at the Academy

Naruto sat at the back of the exceptionally noisy classroom, staring out the window. "I'm so bored! When will something interesting happen?"

The girl on his left nudged him, before saying, "Hush, Naruto, class hasn't even started yet. I'm sure that once our sensei shows up—"

As if on cue, a person walked into the classroom and stood at the front, trying in vain to get the class to be quiet. Finally, he lost it and made a single handsign before his head swelled to a spatially impossible size and he shouted, "SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"

Needless to say, everyone was quiet rather quickly after that, and once they were, the man spoke again. "Thank you. Now, your sensei has ended up breaking both of her arms, so she could not show up to teach, and since I would be taking over from her later in the year, it has been decided that I will be your permanent teacher. So hello class, I'm Iruka."

Seventeen months and eighteen hours later

Xi suddenly sat up from his resting place atop the trees. "Something is very, very wrong…"

Meanwhile, at the Uchiha Compound

Itachi Uchiha stood over the almost-corpse of an almost-dead Shisui, tears flowing freely from his eyes for the first time since he had become a member of the ANBU. "Shisui, why? You didn't have to come for the children, too."

"I know, Itachi. I couldn't control myself. It was almost as if someone had used my own mind-control techniques on me. I couldn't break free. But thank—" here, he stopped to cough up some blood "—thank you for stopping me. I was fighting it as hard as I could, but I just couldn't stop. It sent me after the children… I would have killed them… Your parents, too… Thank you for stopping me before I could get to them. You always—" more coughing up of blood "—always were my favorite nephew. Thank you, Itachi…"

And with that, Shisui Uchiha was no more, leaving Itachi alone in the night to cry over the corpses of his fallen kinsmen.

Three days later

"Ah, there you are. I was wondering how long it would take for one of you to show up in here."

Shino Aburame whirled around to find the source of the voice behind him; he was disturbed by its presence. Now, let it be known that the fact that there was someone there did not disturb him, but the fact that his hive, now buzzing in response to his agitation, had not detected the speaker beforehand. Even more disturbing was—

"Oi, bug boy! I'm not even over there; I'm behind you."

Shino whirled again, still to find nobody there.

"Nope, try again."

The voice came from his right this time, but as before, when he turned to face the source, nobody was there to be found.

"Alright, that was your third try, so we'll do this a different way. Turn ninety… ninety-seven, we'll say, degrees to your left, then tilt your head back about twenty-five degrees."

Following the voice's instructions, Shino turned, before looking up into the tree he was facing. There, much to his surprise, a man garbed completely in white stood on the lowest branch, leaning against the trunk nonchalantly. The white-clad figure jumped down, before handing Shino a small box.

"Here. I think you were looking for this, right? Also, give your father the note inside; I need to talk to him about your… education."

Graduation Day, at the Academy

"Alright, Naruto, I'm going to need you to perform the three Academy jutsu. First, let's see your henge."

"Yes sir, Iruka-sensei, sir!"

Naruto proceeded to then not only transform into a perfect replica of Iruka himself, but he also did so without any handsigns at all.

"Well, not exactly an original thing to transform into, but well done anyway. Now, let's see your kawarami."

Naruto rushed through the handsigns for the kawarami before Iruka suddenly found himself on the floor facing the desk he was just sitting at, with Naruto henged as him, looking down disapprovingly. Naruto then shook his head and said, in a perfect imitation of Iruka's voice, "I'm sorry Iruka, but you show insufficient mastery of the bunshin technique. I cannot pass you. You may leave now."

It was only at this point that Iruka noticed the half-dead looking clone of himself laying on the ground next to him. When he looked back to Naruto, he saw no less than seventeen more clones of himself, looking perfectly fine and very much alive, conversing with Naruto while eating a large banquet. One of the clones said to Naruto, or at least the one he assumed to be Naruto, "This is great cooking Iruka! Who taught you?"

The reply was just as strange, especially to the real Iruka sitting on the ground outside of the entire conversation. "Oh, you know Iruka. It was that person I met on that diplomatic mission to Kumo."

A third clone joined in with, "Oh yeah! I remember them Iruka! It was that kind old lady who lived at the Uchiha outpost, right? What was her name? Umm…"

Mizuki, who Iruka hadn't even noticed was sitting at the table with them, inquired, "Nekobaa?"

Clone three said, "Yeah Nekobaa!"

Iruka quickly interrupted the conversation before it got any stranger. "Alright, Naruto, you obviously are able to perform all of the Academy jutsu adequately, you pass."

Suddenly, the table and all the clones vanished, leaving Mizuki and "Iruka" sitting at the desk again. Mizuki then proceeded to jump up on to the desk dancing while shouting that he passed, before subsequently dropping the henge and revealing himself to be Naruto. Then, the genjutsu on the real Mizuki dropped, revealing that the secondary examiner was in a daze, mouth hanging open, astonished by 'the Kyuubi brat's mastery of the jutsu.

Mizuki shook himself out of it, before handing Naruto his new hitai-ate and saying, "Well done, Naruto. Report to room 301 in a week for team assignments."

Naruto thanked him, before rushing out the door to go talk to his friends about it.

Meanwhile, at the Hokage's Office

"So, does anyone have any changes to suggest to the team placements?"

One black-cloaked figure in the back of the room raised his hand. "Yes, Danzo-sama, I would. Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted, Hayashi-san."

"Alright, frankly, it's a bad idea to have the Uchiha and Uzumaki on the same team; they hate each other's guts. I actually would suggest switching him with Kiba Inuzuka on our current Team Ten, since they have similar abilities, and Kiba is less likely to rip Sasuke's head off in a spar. And yes, I mean that literally, they hate each other that much. I'm pretty sure it started over some 'yo mamma' joke, and just got worse from there."

The unanimous reply of all other potential instructors was a deafening silence, before the figure in black suddenly spoke up again.

"Oh yeah! I'd also like to take over the training of Team 10 if the changes are made, because I would already know and have been training them for quite a while already. They already work great as a team, so why not change it to be my way?"

Danzo shook himself from the thought of an intense hatred over a 'yo mamma' joke for long enough to reply in the affirmative to the figure, before absentmindedly dismissing the rest of the jounin-sensei in attendance.

Xi left the room snickering at the chaos he had caused, before he disappeared to find his fuuinjutsu instructor. One can never learn too many different things.

Chapter 10

Later that night

'Well, I was hoping that the Kyuubi brat wouldn't be good enough to pass, but apparently he was. I'll just have to steal the scroll for Madara-sama's eternal glory myself.' Mizuki Umino, younger brother of Iruka Umino, cackled as he sped off through the night towards the Hokage Tower, intent on finding the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing for his master.

Somewhere inside Training Ground 44

"Naruto-kun?"

"Yes, Hinata-chan?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, it sounded like some crazy guy was running past the entrance while laughing."

"My bugs detected it as well."

"Shino, you shouldn't rely on your hive too much. Overreliance on any one technique will only lead to your own downfall."

"Yes, sensei."

Xi stood up from their stargazing platform atop the trees, before stretching his back. "Well, might as well go see what that was about. Follow me." Xi then proceeded to dive headfirst back down through the trees, with his students following soon after.

12:01 A.M., just outside the walls of Konoha

Mizuki leaned against a tree to rest shortly in his flight from the authorities of Konoha. His respite was extremely brief, however, as a voice in the semi-darkness startled him back to his feet.

"Hello, Umino-san. I wasn't expecting to see you up so early for a morning jog. Especially not with such a large scroll that looks suspiciously similar to the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing attached to your back. It makes it look as though you're trying to defect from good ol' Konoha with a priceless artifact that cannot under any circumstances fall into enemy hands. If that were indeed the case, it would certainly be a shame if somebody took that scroll from you."

Mizuki looked around for the source of the voice, before finally looking up into the branches of the tree above him. The white-clad figure contained therein waved, before speaking again, gesturing to the Scroll as he did so.

"It would also be a great shame indeed if someone were to go so far as to switch the scroll out with a fake that was covered in explosive tags while I was busy talking with you. Well, mostly for you, since you'd be the one who would get blown up."

Mizuki twisted around, before throwing away the scroll covered in sizzling explosive tags with a small curse, after which it was promptly picked up by a familiar orange-clad, blond-haired ninja.

The genjutsu showing the explosive tags faded, and the Number One Unpredictable Knuckleheaded Ninja disappeared into the branches as Xi shouted after him, "Only the first technique! The Hokage said he would let you learn that one at some point anyway, so save him the trouble and learn it yourself now!"

Mizuki growled at being duped by a young boy, and then growled even louder at the "come at me" gesture given by the one who had found him.

In a clearing, just outside Konoha

"Alright, let's try one more time. Handsigns, focus chakra, and—"

"Naruto! What are you doing?"

Naruto looked across the clearing to see Iruka standing there with a shocked and yet somehow also disapproving look on his face.

"Oh, hi there Iruka-sensei! I was just waiting for somebody to show up so I could get this scroll back to the village. It would look really bad on my resume if some unknown person stole the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing in the middle of the night, and then I came back into the village with it without being one of the people officially sent out to find it, don't you think?"

Iruka opened his mouth to reply, but before he could speak, the blond continued.

"But anyway, I figured 'Hey, I've got some time; why don't I learn some stuff from this scroll while I'm waiting for somebody to show up?' Which I did! I've learnt all about the Kage Bunshin and I think I've almost figured it out, too! How about—get down!" Naruto tackled Iruka to the ground as a giant shuriken whizzed past.

"It's rather impressive for someone as young as you to have noticed and dodged in time," a distinctly female voice called out through the night. Iruka turned to see Tsubaki, his sister-in-law, gazing down at the two with an insane smile. "Hello, Iruka-kun, It's been a while since we talked. But reminiscing together can wait for now."

Then, with lightning-quick speed, Tsubaki proceeded to jump down to Iruka, give him a chakra powered punch to the gut that sent him flying out of the clearing, and whack Naruto over the back of the head to immobilize him. She waltzed toward the downed blond ninja, before whispering in his ear, "Do you know why everyone hates you, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto moaned and shook his head, before sitting up against the tree he was near. "No, Tsubaki-san, I don't know," Naruto began, before continuing in a mocking voice, "Why don't you tell me?"

Tsubaki jumped back, pulling out another one of her giant shuriken and winding up a throw. "On the day you were born, the Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked our village, and the Yondaime sealed it into you! But we all know that the seal failed, and that the Fox took over! Naruto, everybody hates you because YOU ARE THE KYUUBI!" The last words of her monologue were spoken in a roar of rage as the shuriken she had starting whistling from the speed it was spinning. "NOW DI—"

Naruto interrupted her insane rant with a chuckle that turned into a full-blown laugh. "Kurama-nee? They're angry because they think I'm Kurama-nee? Oh, that is rich, Tsubaki-san! As if I could ever be Kurama-nee. Do I even look like a big red fox with nine tails and crazy spiky hair? I mean, I have spiky hair, sure, but I don't even have one tail, let alone NINE. Also, I'm not a girl, and my chakra control sucks because of the seal that you were talking about earlier. Kurama-nee has great chakra control and she's a GIRL, something that you idiots can't seem to understand. But really? Me as Kurama-nee? I don't think so! In fact—"

"Just shut up and die, demon!" interrupted Tsubaki as she threw her shuriken at the still chatting blond. Naruto tried to stand up to dodge it, but he still couldn't move from the blow to the head. Finally, as he saw it whirling towards him, Naruto closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

"No! Naruto-kun!"

Meanwhile, back with Mizuki

"Ah, yes gentlemen—" a cough from the back of the search group "—and lady, I was wondering when you would show up for him."

Xi turned around, gesturing to a huge cocoon of wire hanging from a branch.

"That right there, lady and gentlemen, is Mizuki Umino, traitor to Konoha, secret follower of a cult of Madara Uchiha worshippers, and really, really bad liar and fighter. I see now why you put him on teaching duty with his brother instead of keeping him out on the front lines."

"Thank you, Hayashi-san, we shall take it from here."

"You are most welcome. Now, I need to go find my students before one of them blows something up again." This statement was followed by a huge chakra spike and a plume of smoke rising from deeper in the forest, eliciting a facepalm from Xi. "I knew that just had to happen just as soon as I said it, but no, I still said it." He turned to the team cutting the Mizuki-cocoon off of the branch, and bowed.

"I'll go fix that."

Chapter 11

Back with Tsubaki, right after we left earlier

"No! Naruto-kun!"

Naruto opened his eyes to see Hinata standing in front of him, with one of the shuriken's blades protruding from her back, having impaled her directly through her stomach.

Naruto turned towards Tsubaki with malice in his eyes. "You… you hurt Hinata-chan…"

Tsubaki's eyes widened at hearing that name. 'Crap! That's the Hyuuga clan heiress! I just threw a giant shuriken through the Hyuuga clan heiress's freaking stomach! Hiashi-sama is going to kill me!'

Naruto's eyes turned golden with slitted pupils as he continued speaking. "You hurt Hinata-chan… so I guess I'll have to KILL YOU!"

As Naruto spoke the last two words, golden chakra erupted from his body, before he vanished in a burst of speed, pulling off a stunt similar to another blond shinobi's signature teleportation technique. Then, after throwing Tsubaki all around the clearing with a few heavy, speed-enhanced punches, Naruto stopped, forming his hands into a cross-shaped handsign while shouting, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

As the smoke generated by the technique cleared, 'Aw crap,' was the only thought that went through Tsubaki's mind before the army of blond clones pounded her into the ground.

Meanwhile, at the Hokage's Office

Danzo turned off the large projector showing the current events concerning Naruto, before turning to the assembled Council of Konoha. "So," he began. "Can I convince you that he is not a demon? He just defended the Hyuuga clan heiress for no other reason than she was his friend, and also aided in the defeat of not one, but two traitors to Konoha. Furthermore, he has aided in safely returning the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing despite not ever being assigned to that task. Oh yes, did I also mention that he did this despite being only a genin fresh out of the Academy?"

Danzo paused in thought, before snapping his fingers. "Ah! That's what I was forgetting! Kaji!"

The aforementioned ANBU member appeared next to Danzo, saluting him along with a questioning, "Hai, Hokage-sama?"

"Get a medic out to wherever Naruto just was and keep the Hyuuga heiress from dying. That would be a Bad Thing, especially at this juncture."

Kaji saluted again, saying "It will be done," before vanishing again.

"Oh, and can somebody get me a cappuccino? All this unexpected action is making me tired."

Back with Naruto

"Naruto-san, you may stop now, the threat has been neutralized."

Naruto continued to pound Tsubaki's face into the ground with his clone army, not even hearing or just outright ignoring Shino's protests. With a thought, Shino sent out his kikaichu towards the army of clones, intent on draining them into submission if need be.

'To take a page from Shikamaru's book, how troublesome.'

Thirty-seven seconds later

Thirty-seven seconds later, Xi arrived at the scene of the beating to find one of his students on the ground unconscious from chakra exhaustion, one on the ground unconscious from blood loss with a giant shuriken sticking out of her, and one on the ground unconscious from sheer boredom and sleep deprivation. Bottom line was, they were all unconscious, as well as the bloody—yet still breathing—mess that was Tsubaki lying in the middle of the clearing.

"Well… I get the feeling I've missed something rather important here."

Day of genin team assignments

"Good morning, graduating class!"

"GOOD MORNING IRUKA-SENSEI!" came the chorused—and extremely loud—reply of the class.

After shaking the ringing out of his ears, Iruka continued his small speech with, "Now, today is a day I'm sure you've all been waiting for, the day that your genin teams are announced!"

A few half-hearted cheers sounded from around the room, causing Iruka to sweatdrop at the sudden lack of enthusiasm. "Now, Team One will be…"

As was usual, everyone pretty much tuned out the team assignments until their name or the name of someone they wanted to be on a team with had their name called.

"Team Seven will be Kiba Inuzuka…"

'Please not me, please not me…' was the thought of a certain pink-haired bansh— I mean, ninja.

"…Sakura Haruno…"

"Crap."

"Yes!"

"…and Sasuke Uchiha. You jounin sensei will be Kakashi Hatake."

"Yes!"

"Crap."

"Hn."

Iruka shook his head at their antics, before continuing with the team placements. "Team Eight will be Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akimichi, and Ino Yamanaka. Your jounin sensei will be Asuma Sarutobi."

"Meh, expected as much."

"What? I'm stuck with Lazy and Chubby?"

"Calm down, Ino. (nom nom) I'm sure that it can't (nom nom) be all that bad working together. Our dads (nom nom) did just fine, so why can't (nom nom) we?"

Again shaking his head at the antics of the new teams, Iruka continued again. "Now, since Team Nine is still active, we'll move on to Team Ten, which will be Naruto Uzumaki, Shino Aburame, and Hinata Hyuuga. Your jounin sensei will be… um… somebody going by the name Hayashi. Sorry, I don't know them."

The only sign that Shino was surprised was a slight widening of his eyes, conveniently hidden by his sunglasses. Hinata and Naruto, however, both had looks of complete horror on their face.

Hinata managed to stammer out, "H-h-he's a jounin sensei now?"

After receiving a confused nod from Iruka, Naruto stood up and proclaimed to the class, "It has been nice knowing you all, but I'm afraid that I will not make it to tomorrow from our sensei's training program now that he has the entire day to work with us. Goodbye, everyone, we'll see you on the other side."

After Naruto's moving speech, the entirety of the new Team Ten trudged out the door to find some lunch before they entered Hell on Earth, a phenomenon also known as their new training regimen under their sensei.

Thirty-two minutes later, after lunch

The door to the classroom opened, and a person dressed in the standard jounin garb entered the room. He pulled a cigarette out of his mouth, blew out a little smoke, and said, "Team Eight. You're with me."

He then left the room with his slightly dysfunctional team, before a veritable flood of other jounin sensei appeared in the room to get their teams.

Two and a half hours later

Naruto woke with a start from his place on the desk. For some reason, their sensei still had not arrived, but his 'danger sense' was going off in the way it did when he was around and hidden. Naruto looked around not seeing any sign of his sensei, before nudging Hinata awake.

"Hinata-chan. Hinata-chan, wake up!"

Hinata blearily opened her left eye and said stubbornly yet somehow monotonously, "No. I'm asleep right now. I don't care that sensei's watching us, I can sense him too. Go away," and promptly fell asleep again.

Naruto chuckled and shook his head, before glancing over towards the members of Team Seven. A thought began to form in his head, before he chuckled and walked over to Shino. He began speaking to him in a low whisper.

"Hey, Shino."

"Yes, Naruto-san?"

"Do you have the supplies?"

Shino's eyebrow quirked up at this statement, but he wordlessly handed over the Bag. Naruto chuckled in anticipation, and began rummaging through the ridiculously small bag, pulling out impossible amounts of items from within. He then set up the elaborate rig, before handing a single wire to his long-time arch-nemesis, Sasuke Uchiha, with a short, "Here, hold this."

Twenty-nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds later, the rig was fully set up, with Naruto back in his chair, feigning sleep, although he discreetly woke Hinata up to see his prank in action.

Exactly three hours after Asuma had arrived, Kakashi Hatake opened the door to the room, promptly dodging the catapult-launched erasers full of itching powder that action had triggered.

He did not, however, manage to dodge the bucket of water that had been leaning atop the door, nor did he manage to dodge the second volley of itching-powder-filled erasers. After those connected with his torso in various locations, a cup tipped over, spilling marbles across the floor, which the jounin slipped on, causing the bucket to all off of his head.

He sat up to see the six genin in the room laughing at him, even the ever-stoic Sasuke and Shino. He also saw Sasuke holding onto a wire that went up among the rafters. Kakashi glared at him, assuming that he was at least an accomplice to whoever had done this, if not the prankster himself. Sasuke quickly released the line as if it had burned him, not wanting to seem involved with it in any way, unknowingly setting off the last part of the trap, a large bucket of bird droppings dumping over Kakashi's entire body, with the bucket landing on his head.

Although muffled by the bucket, everyone in the room could still hear him say, "Well, my first impression of you three… is that you all are annoying. Especially tall, dark, and broody over there. Meet me on the roof in five minutes."

With a swirl of leaves, the lazy cyclopean jounin disappeared from the room to clean up, before his team quickly left as well.

As soon as Team Seven had completely left the room, a piece of paper appeared on the desk in front of each of the members of Team Ten, each bearing the same message:

"Be at the usual meeting place in under a minute, or you're running ten extra laps."

It took everybody about ten seconds to process this, before Shino disappeared from the room in a burst of speed. Hinata and Naruto followed as fast as they could after Shino, but still only barely made it there, with less than a second to spare. Shino, of course, was already there, being the fastest of the three, as was their sensei.

"Ah, hello everyone! How nice of you three to join me! I was hoping that it would take you longer so that I could have you run those extra laps before the test."

"Forgive me for asking, sensei, but what test? I was under the impression that we had completed the examinations to become genin."

"Well, yes and no, Shino. That test was to see if you had the potential to be a genin. This test is to see whether you are up to the challenge of being a genin. Basically, what I need you to do is…"

The team leaned in to hear him better, but he quickly placed a limb on the forehead of each.

"…TAG! You're all it! If you catch me, you can be a genin! If you can't, five more years of Academy!"

Their sensei quickly disappeared into the trees, with them blinking in surprise. 'Our final exam… is a game of tag?' was the unanimous thought of the three genin, which Naruto voiced.

"We're playing tag? In the middle of the Forest? AS AN EXAM?"