Hi readerz!!! Sorry for the delay in updating. My friend was in coma for the whole last week and I wasn't having a good time. Yesterday another friend told me she woke up, so now I'm happy again.

Thank you for the reviews you sent for last chapter!

Hope I don't get killed for the delay, however this chap is longer. :P

Enjoy!

What you have and I want

Chapter 2: Demyan

I walk towards the kitchen, you come behind me holding the book. I'll let you keep it, it's yours… and you found it. So you have every right to keep it with you.

When we get to the kitchen I take the two cups that are on the table, and put them next to the oven. I have to clean the house if you're staying, we've never had visits until this time since long years.

You stand there, next to the table as I clean this cups and start boiling some water to prepare something for you. It's long since I cook for somebody too. You may find this place a little more comfortable and hospitable than the other places in which you've been. That's because your father and I use the kitchen, our room and the bathroom, and no other room of the house.

You place a hand on the table, and stare at me. I feel under pressure with those piercing eyes, but I know I have to stay calm. You didn't come here to hurt me, did you?

I turn around and look at you, you still stare at me with those crimson eyes you have. You look scared. Some minutes after I turn around again. Then I notice you're afraid, but I have no idea what's happening to you. Until I think about the cups I'm washing. That must be.

"I wont hurt you, you know that?" I ask, starting by what I'm sure of. You stare at me, don't answer anything and I wonder why you do that, being so unconfident, so cold. Who did you that?

"What are you fearing, Kai?" I ask again. I need to know if you'll tell me. Though I already know you fear Him, I prefer to stay in silence and don't name him unless you do first. But then I realize that if I go on that way, you'll just close yourself even more, and don't tell anything.

"He's not home, Kai." I try not naming him directly. "He left just before you arrived, that's why I was awake at that time." I explain, liking the sound your name in my lips makes. You sigh relieved, and that makes me smile.

You don't seem to notice how easy is it for me reading your eyes. I have had that ability since forever, but you don't know about it. You open your mouth to say something. "My father… left his house years ago." You finally say, it seems you know nothing more about him. I was right, you feel better now I told you he's not home. Will you try and open up? Only you know about that.

"He… he returned. Demyan returned home three years ago, Kai." I explain. You look confused, but lower your eyes and shook your head, as if wanting to remove some thought of your mind.

"What you just read…" I start explaining, I guess you need an explanation. "… is what I wrote about you. When you lived here." I say. I want to share it with you. I want you to know how I felt, and most of all, how you were when you were five. Because if seems somehow you've forgotten it all.

"He didn't let you go with him." I say. "You were so young to be involved in the outside world, at least that's what we thought. You didn't like beyblade." It's the truth. Like it or not Kai, that's why your father didn't take you with him. You may think I'm speaking so bluntly, but that's the best way I can think of telling such a thing.

"Didn't I? And then why I got involved with my grandfather's organization?" You inquire. You seem so stun, with so many questions you want me to answer. And I'll answer them all, with time.

"Because… you wanted to be like your father." I say, fearing the worst.

You tight your fists, fall in the nearest chair, and hold your head with both hands. You seem so shocked, you are shocked. I've seen you trying to pretend everything's alright, but now you're not doing it. I stare confused, maybe I shouldn't have told you that? Maybe I should've kept that topic for some time later, when all this mess has cleared up a bit?

I place the cup in front of you, trying to pretend everything's alright, maybe ignoring you, but you know I care about you. I do feel worried, but if I don't care, or pretend not to care, you'll feel better… at least, that's what I think.

You stare at the tea, I sit in front of you and look at you. Many people have criticized my eyes, the way I look at them. And now I guess you're hating it too. People say I look as if I was analyzing everything, and I can't say I'm not but that's not my intention. I like being with you, that's why I look at you. I'm pleased of having you back with us in this house… that's why I stare at you, because I still can't completely believe it.

I stare at your eyes. By the corner of my eye I can see your hands leaning on the table. What if I touch them? What if I drive my hand towards yours? Will you reject it? Will you accept me? As I think this I stare at your piercing eyes. You look scared, again, forcing yourself to keep the eye contact. If I break it, I know you won't have to force yourself any longer. So that's what I do, I stare blankly at the table.

Then instinctively I move my hand towards yours. Your breath grows faster, but you stay quiet and calculate every movement I make, trying to guess which will be the next one.

At last my hand reaches yours. I hold my breath, and you chill. It's the first conscious contact we've done. Your hands are bare, I thought you wore gloves?

My hand lies on top of yours, I clutch it and drag it to my side. You let it happen, breathing slowly. It seems you don't want to prevent anything, for some unknown reason you're keeping yourself to yourself, and don't say yes or no, you just stay there and let everything happen.

You finally seem to be relaxing, I can see your eyes move from our hands to the cup in front of you. You grab it with your free hand, and take it to your lips. I smile when I notice I'm wishing you like the tea I prepared for you.

You stare at the clock on the kitchen. It's eight am, but it'll still be dark for a while more. About eleven am the sun rises, and it sets about four pm. While you keep staring at the clock, I look back at our hands and start caressing that skin. It's rough, and it's very similar to your father's.

You take the cup, and drink a lot of the liquid inside. Then I realize you're tired, and you look at me." Do you want to try and sleep for a while?" I ask.

"Maybe…" you answer slightly, standing up and grabbing the diary. You walk to the room, but you already know the way back, there is no need for me to go with you. I should leave you your space.

I wonder how much time you'll stay here with us. He'll be back soon, more than that, he'll be back today but I don't know if I should tell you about it. You will be afraid and close your walls again, and I don't want to let that happen.

I am surprised of how much of a loner you have. You keep yourself to yourself, and I would've never guessed my son would be that kind of person. Well, it seems you're going to surprise me a lot during these days.

The first surprise I received was the way you looked when I opened the door. You have dark blue hair, which falls 10 centimeters length in your back, a darker tone than the one in the front. Your crimson eyes captured my attention maybe as much as the pair of blue triangles at each side of your face.

The clothing you were wearing maybe didn't match the temperature outside, you had a grey sweater and jeans, a white, long scarf, covering your neck and shoulders. You were wearing trainers, I guess.

I smile when I realize how much I observed you, how much attention I'm paying not to lose a second of you, of what you do, what you say, I want to know you so I don't want to miss anything.

When I realize an hour has already passed, something comes to my mind. I smile playfully, and slowly stand up from the chair in which I'm sitting. I walk towards your room, you've closed the door but slowly and carefully I open it, making sure it won't make any noise that could wake you up. You're already sleeping, I guessed.

My eyes enjoy so much this picture I see. You seem so calm, so peaceful while you sleep. Maybe I feel that because that's the closest picture to the childish innocence I was accustomed to think about when I pictured my son. Maybe I couldn't imagine you as rude and emotionless as you look, but I tried to imagine you as a child I could hold.

Then I hadn't realized how much changed you are. How much of a man. You don't need to look carefully to see you dad inside you. To see many movements, there are so many things that remind me of him when watching you… as your skin, your hands.

You smile in dreams. I wonder what you're thinking? When your eyes are closed it's more difficult to read what you think, what you feel. The smile fades… I frown… are you having a nightmare Kai?

You start to shake in your bed… you cross your arms above your stomach, what's happening? I want to help you… but everything you're feeling is unconscious. They're all images your mind creates for you, pictures that must be from the past, from the bad and good things you don't understand. You're so confused my son.

You open your mouth, and barely audible you whisper "don't abandon him". I guess I can figure out what the nightmare is about. Why you look so confused and so desperate. I walk next to you, and can see your forehead is covered on sweat. I unfold the blankets, and carefully place them over your body. You seem to be relaxing, and I place a hand on your shoulder.

"Everything's ok Kai…" I whisper, but you keep shaking. I guess I should leave you alone, I don't want you to frighten if you see me here.

When I turn around to leave the room, I notice something small on the floor that wasn't there before. I take it with my right hand, and look at it carefully. It's a small picture of you. It's one of those photos you use for the identity card.

I smile, and put it inside my pocket. You won't notice I took it, besides, if you ask me for it, take for sure I'll return it, I'll tell you that I found it on the floor. But as long as no one asks for it, I'll keep it. This will be my reminder of your stay, and I'm pretty sure I'll need it when you leave.

I go back to the kitchen, and start preparing some soup. I have to eat something, I'm not hungry but I didn't have dinner yesterday.

Some hours ago, I'm sitting in the table and reading a newspaper, maybe to waste some time until you wake up. Demyan will be arriving today, I wonder what will happen… though I can almost imagine it. When I hear your steps, I put up my sight and smile comprehensively. I know you've been dreaming, I hope you're ok now. "Are you feeling better?" I ask. You frown, and nod, sitting in a chair in front of me.

"I have something to ask you." You say. I smile, trying to inspire confidence and hoping you'll speak to me truthfully.

"Tell me." I say, emphasizing the first word. You open your mouth to say something, but then it comes what I feared. A noise in the front door… my husband's key, unlocking it. Oh no Kai… don't frighten...

I close my eyes almost instinctively, I know what's going to happen. You turn around, and stare at the door as it opens. Demyan comes in. He looks so shocked, so surprised to see someone that's not only me inside of the house.. but even more surprised, if that was possible, when he notices how alike this person is to both me and him, and when he notices my look.

You look directly at him, I don't guess that will help… he has his fears too, Kai. Demyan looks so shocked, so frustrated and confused. At the same time I know he's happy to see you back, but that happiness can't be expressed through that look. Fear and guilt are the most evident feelings. You are afraid… I know you are, because your hands are trembling, and his eyes reflect what he sees.

You turn around in a second, stare at me. My look now doesn't inspire confidence at all, but that's because I'm fearing the worst, and after all what was the reaction I don't think I should not be afraid…

I gasp when I see you stand up abruptly, and ran past him, without even turning back to me… where will you go?

TBC

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