A/N: Had a mistake in the last Chapter. The are in Florida to visit Delia Collins, not Gwen. Have Fun with this chapter. And don't forget your reviews.

Chapter Eleven: Brace Yourself

And I'm on...
And I'm on again
Brace yourself
With all that you have
Enough, I'm in love again
Brace yourself
Yeah...
(Howie Day)

He was so near that she felt his breath on her neck. Lilly's heart was running away. She had to open her mouth because she thought she wouldn't be able to breathe with him that near. All inside of her were shaking. She felt a hand of his on her skin which seemed to burn under the touch. All of her body prickled pleasantly. And she loved this feeling. She wanted to hold it… to never let it go again.

But again… wasn't Scotty her partner? Those were feelings that weren't allowed. Feelings she just couldn't feel. Never again she could work with him when she let those feelings, those strong and wonderful emotions, win.

He was going to kiss her. In a few moments their lips would be connected in a kiss. Would it be passionate? Or just a quick and shy one? She longed to know it. She was longing for his lips. Oh god. She couldn't take it anymore. Lilly closed her eyes and pursed her lips. She wanted to feel his lips. His lips that were looking so inviting to her…

But… NO!

Lilly couldn't sad it anymore and rolled away from his body and – more important – his lips. "It's getting cold and we are all over with water. We have to head to the hotel before we get a cold" She said, now standing, and pretended not to have noticed what almost had happened.

Damnit. He was her partner. She couldn't forget her principles. She wasn't allowed to lose her mind that easily. She wasn't allowed to fall in love with him. But all the former events with George had made her weaker and lonely. She often wondered if this had never happened if she had a husband or a family.
Yes, that was it. She just searched for someone that could take care of her. And Scotty was there when she needed love and that was why she had almost kissed him. Just her current state of mind. Nothing more. No more feelings involved.

Scotty was surprised by the happenings in the last minute. He had almost kissed Lilly. The wonderful Lilly Rush. The most beautiful woman in the world… and she had even seemed as though she had like it either, but then. She had avoided their feelings… He had made a fool of himself. Why was he always doing such stupid things? Had he really thought that this astonishing woman would kiss him? Him? He who was not worthy to kiss her. Not worthy to walk on the same ground she did walk on. Why did he do things like this all the time?

"Yeah, I guess you're right" he replied with a slightly disappointed voice, but still trying to play that nothing unusual had happened.

On the way back to the hotel no-one of them spoke a word. Every few minutes one of them started a sentence, but broke up because they didn't know what to say. One thing was clear to both of them though: They just wanted to forget what had taken place before.

Back at their rooms, Lil sat on her bed, wearing her bathrobe after having shower. She had her eyes closed and was deep in thoughts. She was thinking the events at the beach over and over again. She had known that she shouldn't go to the beach before. If she had just listened to her own feelings. Then, this all had never happened and she could talk to Scotty like she had done before. But if she didn't lie to herself, she really had enjoyed the happenings until… No, there hadn't really been a 'until'. She had liked his fingers on her skin – and thinking of it her heartbeat was again faster and she got this feeling that she could fly away, but melt at the same time. She had liked feeling his breath and watching in these deep, warm, brown pools of his eyes. These pools that seemed to show the whole truth of life. She had enjoyed… no, she had loved this all. Jus until she broke this all up.

Lilly was shocked because of her thoughts. What was she thinking or rather what was she feeling when she thought of her partner? Forbidden feelings. Did really happen what she supposed happened? Was she falling in love with Scotty, her partner?

She shuddered when she only thought the world love. Love… she wasn't sure if she ever in her life felt love. She sure had have Patrick, but had he loved her? And she had her one love before. She had found her love, once. But it didn't last long. It was the same with Kite. But all these have left her alone. She wasn't one for love. She surely wasn't…

No, she wasn't in love with her partner! Yes, she had felt something so intense she never had felt before, but… still… No, nor was she in love with her partner, neither was she falling in love. Lilly Rush was able to separate work and private life. At best she was having a crush. She was just having a crush on Scotty. That was the best explanation. And no-one could be mad at her because she had a crush. That was just naturally. After all Lilly had gone through; the incident with George and all her nightmares and her problems after that. And Scotty was there for her. He tried to help her all of the time.
Why hadn't she thought of this earlier? This was just logical. A victim feels fascinated by her hero and has a crush on him. She had watched this pretty often in the interrogation room. She was just talking herself into believing she loved Scotty. Her feelings were almost non-existent.

She, Lilly Rush, hadn't changed. Never. She was just the same she had been before. With a non-existent crush that she could get rid of pretty soon. Nothing to worry about.

She heard a knocking at her door. "Yes?" she replied.
"Lil, here's Scotty…" she heard his voice and felt herself flatter again. Calm down, Lil. Remember, you don't feel anything for him. She opened her door.
"…I'm hungry. You like to grab a late dinner with me?" he asked.

Lil watched in the brown pools in front of her and almost got lost. You don't feel anything… "Hmm, haven't noticed I'm hungry until now. I'd like to."

She changed into jeans and t-shirt, even put some make-up on and then left her apartment to meet Scotty, her partner, her hero whom she didn't love.

Nevertheless, she couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach and her exploding heart.