The first three months weren't perfect, but nevertheless, Miranda was happier than she had been in a long time. After the first week or so, her anxiety waned and she thoroughly enjoyed spending her days with her newborns.
In September, when the babies were just eight weeks old, Andrea started her job at the Mirror. She loved the work, but hated leaving Miranda and the babies at home. Cassidy and Caroline returned to school, and resumed spending every other weekend at James' home. Miranda hired a nanny—Karen, the sister of her midwife Alice—and she helped with the babies' laundry and helped out during feedings. For the most part, Miranda was able to do it herself, but it was nice to have an extra pair of hands around, especially since Miranda would eventually have to go back to work.
"Hello, I'm home," Andrea said, closing the door behind her.
"Thank god," Caroline said. "Andy, I have to write a character analysis for English and I need help. Mom said she didn't know what a character foil was. Seriously, she doesn't know anything anymore."
"It's because I spend all my day with two twelve-week-old babies," Miranda said, walking over and giving Andrea a kiss. "How was your day? Did you have a chance to talk with John?"
Andrea smiled. "Care, I'll take a look at your English assignment after dinner. Do your other homework first." She turned back to Miranda and kissed the baby in her arms. "I had my one-on-one with John just before I left. He liked that online project, and said he'd talk to the publishing team about it next week."
"That's wonderful, darling. Soon you'll be running the company," she said.
"Hardly. I've been there four weeks, Miranda. Did you call Irv?"
Miranda took a deep breath. "Yes. Nigel came by for lunch, and I discussed it with him. I won't return until the first of the year."
"And Irv was okay with that?"
"Well, he wasn't thrilled. I told him I was dealing with some postpartum depression and struggling to get back to my pre-pregnancy body. At least that last part is true."
"Oh stop," Andrea said, wrapping her arms around her and gently nuzzling her neck. "You are absolutely gorgeous."
"Mooom, Callie needs her diaper changed!" Cassidy called from the living room.
Miranda rolled her eyes. "Remind me why they're incapable of changing diapers?"
"I believe the word was 'icky,'" Andrea said, taking Catherine from her arms. "Come here, Cate, did you have a good day with Mommy?" she asked. Andrea carried her to the dining room where Cara was setting the table.
"Hi, Andy. Dinner in about twenty minutes—turkey tacos, black beans, and maybe even some margaritas if Miranda wants," Cara said.
"Sounds delicious. I'll talk her into one if you promise not to make hers too strong," she said.
Andrea joined Miranda and Cassidy in the living room as Miranda was finishing changing Callie's diaper.
"Might as well change Cate's, too," Miranda said, reaching out for her little one.
"Are the babies going to eat with us again?" Cassidy asked. "Well, you know, not eat eat, but like, sit in their high chairs again while we eat?"
"I think so, what do you say, Miranda?"
"Yes. Karen and I had them in the chairs this afternoon again and they're doing really well—reclined, of course. Callie still has a tendency to fall forward, so we'll just have to keep a close eye on her."
"Can I put her in her chair now?" Cassidy asked.
"Only if you are going to sit in there with her," Andrea said.
"Have Cara help you, Bobbsey," Miranda said. She finished changing Cate's diaper and Cara came and got her, taking her to the dining room, too.
Andrea whispered something into Miranda's ear as she led her towards the stairs. "We'll be down in a minute. Don't eat without us!" Andrea called. "Caroline? Please come down and sit with your sisters at the table."
Once upstairs in their bedroom, Miranda unbuttoned her blouse and sat on the edge of the chaise, scooting the small tray table with the breast pump closer. She carefully attached the cups and leaned back against Andrea. The young woman pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder and slipped her hands around so she was gently massaging her left breast. Miranda reached down and applied compression to her right, sighing softly as she tilted her head back against Andrea's shoulder.
"Irv wants to publish a photo of the babies," Miranda said quietly. "Of course, I told him we would have to talk it over."
"I would prefer we didn't, but I guess better to be Runway than People or Entertainment Weekly," Andrea said.
"How would you feel about a family photo?"
"You mean you and all four girls?"
"And you, naturally," Miranda said. "The magazine is falling short against its fourth quarter projections, and that will mean lowering the rate base for next year. He was hoping for some catchy story to drive sales, and apparently our editorial staff is so uninspired, they've decided to sell personal photos of the editor instead."
"We don't have to do it," Andrea said. "Do we?"
"No, it's a choice. And I think it's one we have been too reluctant to make. I could write the December/January Holiday Issue editor's letter and maybe you can help. Rachel could see when Patrick or Annie is free to come here and shoot the photo, but it would have to be no later than November 1." She gave her breasts a quick squeeze and disengaged the pumps. "Would that work?" she asked as she began to button her blouse back up.
"Ok." Andrea took the bottles and set them in the small refrigerator they had setup in the bedroom, along with a small microwave. That way, if Andrea needed to help with a feeding in the middle of the night, they didn't have to leave the room. "What do you think about including everyone? Helen, James, my parents?"
"Let's ask the girls. Come on," Miranda said, tugging Andrea towards the dining room. "I believe there is a margarita awaiting me downstairs."
Miranda thanked Cara for the margarita, and also for making Caroline and Cassidy some frozen lemon-lime slushes. They began eating in the dining room a few months ago when they realized the kitchen just wasn't big enough anymore. The table comfortably sat four without the leaf, and with the leaf in, there wasn't room for the highchairs. Now, the girls and Andrea were able to spread their work out on the kitchen table.
"Girls, I wanted to wait until Andrea was home to tell you—"
"You're having another baby?" Caroline asked.
"Caroline," Miranda said, glaring. "That is not even funny." She looked over at Andrea who was staring down at her plate, trying not to laugh. "Cut it out," she said, softly kicking the brunette under the table.
Andrea took a deep breath and a sip of her margarita. "What your mom was trying to tell you is that she's not officially going back to work until January 1st," Andrea said.
"Uh-oh. 'Officially?'" Cassidy asked.
"Well, I'm certainly not going back to the office until then, but I agreed to help out with Runway's Holiday issue. Nigel will be very busy with Paris Fashion week, so I will be writing the Editor's Note, and thanking everyone for making 2007 such an incredible year," Miranda explained before taking a bite of her taco.
"But you weren't even working there for half the year," Caroline said.
"Right, and that's why everyone thinks it's important for your mom to show that she's still here and that Runway is as valuable as ever," Andrea said.
"I want to include a family picture with this note," Miranda said. "Are you girls okay with that?"
Andrea was surprised she asked them. She was under the impression that Miranda had already made her decision.
"Sure. Like, are you just going to pick a photo from an album or something?"
"No, Bobbsey, we'll have a photographer come here to our home and do a very small photo shoot."
"Will Mr. Patrick come again? I still remember how he told me to jump," Cassidy said excitedly.
Miranda smiled. "We haven't decided yet, but I will definitely ask Patrick, and I'm sure if he is available he would love to come back," she said. "Who do you think should be in the photo?"
Andrea observed this conversation with amazement. This was why Miranda was so good at her job. She could anticipate others' objections, and knew how to steer the conversation so they thought it was their idea, when in reality, it was her plan all along.
"Well, you, me, Cass, Cate, Callie, and Andy, obviously," Caroline said.
"And what about Dad and Grandma and Grandpa?" Cassidy said.
"Grandma Helen and Grandpa George or Grandma Mary Ann and Grandpa Rich?" Caroline asked.
"Both, right?"
"Yeah. Oh, and Patricia," Caroline said.
"Of course. I almost forgot about her, how is she doing?" Miranda asked, casually looking across the table and smiling at Andrea as she traced her toe up the woman's ankle.
"Good. Dad just took her to the vet and he said she's healthy as a horse," Cassidy said, causing both girls to erupt in laughter.
Miranda smiled and sat back. The girls were laughing, Andrea was wiping drool off her chin, and Catherine was smiling as she reached for her own toes. A single tear escaped her eye, and of course, Andrea noticed, softly brushing her shin under the table.
She looked up and met her eyes. Are you okay? they asked.
Miranda smiled and nodded, taking a sip of her margarita. "I have an idea," she announced. "For this photo, how about everyone picks out their own outfit? Girls, you can decide what Cate and Callie will wear."
Everyone stopped eating and stared at Miranda.
"Are you feeling okay, Mom?"
"Did I hear you right?"
"You're kidding."
Miranda chuckled and shook her head. "We've taken so many photos where everyone dresses in the same cream sweaters and we're all posed and perfect. That's too…I don't know, fake. Anyone can fake a photo, but you all are perfect just the way you are. I want everyone to see that. I want them to see what makes me so happy each and every day."
"So does this mean Andy can wear that Northwestern hoodie?" Caroline asked with a snicker.
Miranda rolled her eyes. "I would hope she would select something more appropriate for publication, but if she so chooses, yes, she may wear it," she said.
"As much as I like my sweatshirt, I wouldn't really want to be seen outside the house in it. There's mascara stains on the sleeve, and now spit up stains on the shoulder," Andrea said. "I only wear that when we go to bed," she added with a wink.
"Oh my god, you guys—gross!" Caroline said.
Miranda bit her lip. "Girls, if you remember, there are two four-month-olds that sleep between us in bed, so I don't know what you're implying is so gross."
Caroline made a face and continued eating her taco.
After dinner, Caroline went to do her homework while Cassidy went to sit with Andrea. Miranda was upstairs getting the bath ready for Cate and Callie.
"What's up, Cass?" she asked.
"Um, I just want to say thank you," she said, climbing up into Andrea's lap.
"For what, sweetie?"
"Making Mom happy."
"Oh, Cass, you and your sister make your mom very happy, too. It's not me," Andrea said, hugging her gently.
"No. I mean, I know we make her happy and all, but since you've been here, she's been really happy. Like, really-extra-super happy."
"Sweetie, Cate and Callie make your mom happy, too."
"No, Andy, you don't get it. You didn't see her before—with Stephen. She hardly smiled, she was always reading something, she never laughed. We had dinner together—all of us—maybe once a month. Maybe."
Andrea opened her mouth once again to protest, but Cassidy quickly continued. "See, just this. Mom usually hates when people talk so much and keep disagreeing. But when you do it, she gets all smiley and lets it go. Andy, when we were in Mexico for Christmas, I heard Mom call you and say she missed you."
"I thought you two were sleeping?"
"Caro was. I was watching Mom on the balcony. Her whole face looked happy when she was talking to you. And that was before the babies."
Andrea shrugged. "I suppose you're right, then. Your mom makes me happy, too. You all do."
Cassidy hugged her tightly and stayed like that for a few minutes. "Andy, if you and mom fight, and you move out, can we come spend weekends with you like we do with dad?"
Andrea leaned back and gently tilted the young girl's chin upwards so she could look in her eye. "Darling, I'm never moving out."
She shrugged. "Stephen said that, too, when we first met him."
Andrea looked up and Caroline was leaning against the doorway. "Come here," she said, patting the couch next to her. She wrapped her arms around both girls. "Listen, your mom and I love each other very much and we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. That doesn't mean we will never fight—that's natural, people are going to disagree at some point or another. I will never walk away from you. And if—if, if, if—your mother decides she no longer wants me around, she better be prepared because I will put up one heck of a fight for you four girls."
"Do you mean it?"
"I absolutely do," Andrea said. "You're my family now. I'm going to watch you graduate from college, find your first apartment, get married, have your own children, and even your children's children if I'm lucky." She leaned over and kissed each of their foreheads. "Let's never have this conversation again, okay? I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."
Both girls nodded and hugged Andrea tightly. Just then, Miranda came downstairs to get the babies for their bath, and paused when she saw Andrea with tears in her eyes, holding her daughters. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," the girls said in unison, stepping away from the couch. "Andy's just going to help me with English after the babies have their bath."
Miranda raised her eyebrow as she watched them head back into the kitchen. "What was all that?" she quietly asked.
"I'll tell you upstairs," Andrea said. She turned to the bouncers. "Are you two love bugs ready for a bath?" She unfastened Callie and picked her up as Miranda did the same with Catherine.
Upstairs, Andrea gave Miranda the gist of the conversation, not telling her everything Cassidy said about Stephen and how much happier Miranda was now. Miranda was upset that the girls were even thinking about divorce—as though that's what they expected of people. But on some level, she couldn't blame them. Wasn't that what she expected of people, too? That they would grow tired of her and eventually leave? Sure, Andrea had told her a million times that she was never leaving, but Miranda knew there was always a possibility.
"Hey," Andrea said, bringing her back to the present. "You okay?"
Miranda nodded and resumed bathing Cate while Andrea held onto her. "It's just…I feel quite guilty that the girls are already so disillusioned. They're only ten years old."
Andrea lifted Cate from the tub and wrapped her in a towel. "I think all his are like that now. It's a different world." She softly laid Cate on the bed and applied some baby lotion before putting on her diaper and pajamas. "Okay, back into the bassinet until your sister's finished with her bath," Andrea said, kissing Cate softly on the forehead.
Miranda had already had the bathtub filled with fresh water for Callie. "You're so good with them," she said, "Cass and Care, I mean. They adore you."
"You've been a remarkable mother, Miranda. Don't let anything tell you otherwise. Plenty of women in your position lose sight of their families because they're so work-obsessed. Sure, people think that's who you are—because let's face it, you fit the criteria—but you're not, and you haven't been for at least the past ten and a half years, am I right?"
Miranda lifted Callie from the tub and wrapped her in a towel, kissing her softly on the lips as she carried her to the bed. "You're right that I've changed since the girls were born, but I'm hardly a remarkable mother," she said. She applied some extra lotion to a dry patch of skin on Callie's upper arm before slipping her into her pajamas. She set Callie back in her bassinet, then quickly went to change into her own pajamas and clean up from the bath.
Andrea, too, changed into her cotton nightshirt and pulled the pillows from the bed, carefully smoothing out the fitted sheet and folding back the quilt. Miranda climbed into bed and set one pillow on each side of her. Andrea brought the babies over and handed her one at a time so she could get them situated, then she turned out the light and climbed into bed while Miranda began nursing.
"Miranda, you—"
"Stop. I don't…I just don't want to talk about this now," Miranda said.
Andrea crawled closer and kissed Miranda gently. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's okay. Would you mind running up to check on Caroline and Cassidy? I didn't get to tell them goodnight."
"Of course," Andrea said, climbing out of bed, careful not to disturb the babies. Two minutes later, she quietly led Caroline and Cassidy into the bedroom to tell their mother and sisters goodnight. She followed them back upstairs and promised them she'd make waffles for breakfast in the morning, reminding them that they could sleep in if they wanted because it was Saturday.
When she returned to the bedroom, Miranda was carefully laying Callie down on the bed. Without saying a word, Andrea joined her family in bed.
"Andrea, can you come here for a minute?" Miranda called from the bedroom. Everyone was already downstairs milling about, and the babies were finally awake.
"Patrick is ready for us," Andrea said as she climbed the steps. "What's going on?" she asked as she entered the bedroom. Clothes were strewn everywhere and Miranda was standing in front of her try-fold mirror in a lace push-up bra and underwear, holding a corset in her hand. "That is incredibly sexy, Miranda, but I hope you're going to put something over that for the photo," Andrea said.
"Help me get this on," she said, handing the corset to Andrea.
"Is this one of those weight-loss corsets? You don't need this."
Miranda ripped it out of Andrea's hands. "Yes I do. Just—forget it. Wait for me downstairs."
"No, Miranda, stop. Tell me what's going on," Andrea said as calmly as she could. "I want to help you."
Miranda sat on the edge of the bed and hung her head. "I'm fat, Andrea. I'm already wearing pants two sizes larger than I used to, and my gut is just hanging out there," she said. "Nothing looks good on me. Maybe we can just photoshop my picture in."
Andrea smiled and took Miranda's hand. "Honey, you are beautiful. You've taught me that you don't need to be a size zero to be sexy. I love your body even more now because it nurtured and birthed our beautiful daughters. No one's going to judge you, you just had a baby."
"Ha! Four and a half months ago I had a baby."
Andrea took a deep breath. "Look, wasn't it you who wanted everyone to select their own outfit? You wanted this to look real, not fake. When you walk downstairs and see our family, you won't care what you're wearing, I promise you. James was holding Catherine while my mother was wiping her lipstick off her cheek. Cassidy was showing George photos on the iPad, Helen was playing peek-a-boo with Callie, and my dad was talking with Caroline about the Yankees and Reds game next week. Miranda, it's our family photo. Your eyes will radiate with love and happiness. For once in your life, don't over think the outfit."
Miranda gently dabbed at her eye. "Don't make me cry or I'll have to redo my makeup," she said. "I'll wear the blouse and periwinkle cardigan with the black ankle-length pants. But please, I would feel more comfortable if I had this on."
Andrea nodded and helped Miranda into the corset. Then, Miranda quickly dressed and slipped on a pair of plain black Prada pumps and headed downstairs to join the others.
"I can't believe you said we should photoshop you into this picture," Andrea said with a chuckle.
Miranda smiled and took Catherine from James' arms. "Darling, grab Callie," she said.
"Miranda, we have the lighting arranged in the living room, the dining room, and the kitchen. I'm thinking I'll just snap a bunch of shots of you all in action for the next ten minutes, then we can review and see if anything stands out to us, will that work?" Patrick asked.
"That's fine. I trust you," she said.
They milled around for the next few minutes, and the house was filled with laughter as the quiet snapping of the camera was heard.
"Andy, come see this," Patrick said, calling the brunette over. He showed her a few shots of Miranda and Catherine he just snapped.
"Patrick, I think we're definitely going to want an album of all of these shots. Think you can have that in time for Christmas?" Andrea asked.
"You bet. Why don't you try and get everyone to gather around the couch?"
Andrea nodded and once everyone was in the general vicinity, pieces just fell into place. Patricia at Miranda's feet. Helen standing behind her with her hand on her shoulder. Cassidy tugging James back towards the group. Andrea sitting next to Miranda, making faces at Caroline. Andrea's mother wiping drool from Callie's chin. George with his arm around Helen. Andrea's father picking Cassidy up.
After a few snaps, Patrick clapped his hands together, quieting everyone down. "Let's try a few shots with everyone looking at the camera," he said. "Then, I want you to play musical chairs and rearrange yourselves and pass the babies around. But Miranda, I want you standing behind the couch."
He took a few more shots, then gestured for everyone to get up. Helen eagerly took the baby from Andrea's arms, and Andrea's father reached for Catherine. Caroline sat on the arm of the couch, and James sat next to his mother. Andrea ended up next to Miranda, both with their hands on the back of the couch.
Andrea's pinky finger grazed Miranda's and their eyes met. Catherine started to fuss, so Richard handed her up and over to Miranda, where she instantly calmed. Miranda held her hand and kissed her nose several times, making her smile happily.
Before they knew it, Patrick explained that they were finished and called Miranda over to review the shots.
"Oh my god," she gasped, looking at the screen. "It's chaos."
Patrick bit his lip, waiting for Miranda to tell him to redo everything.
"And it's absolutely perfect. Can you get me the proofs by the end of the day Monday? I don't expect there will be much retouching," she said.
He heaved a sigh of relief. "Miranda, darling, don't scare me like that. I'll have them sent over first thing Monday morning."
Miranda said goodbye to Patrick and his assistants, who had already taken down the lighting. She returned to the living room where her family was busy with their own conversations. "Who's ready for lunch?" she asked. "Ladies, if you'll help me in the kitchen. Boys, can you manage to take the girls upstairs and change two diapers?"
"Of course," Richard said, cuddling his granddaughter. "Jim, do you have the other one?"
"Sure do," James said.
"I'll lead the way," George said, marching up the staircase.
Helen watched them and shook her head. "You made a good choice, Miranda," she said quietly. Andrea and her mother were already in the kitchen, taking the salads out of the refrigerator while Cassidy and Caroline set the table. "Andrea fits you much better than James, though I'm awfully grateful that he brought us together."
Miranda smiled. It was such an odd thing to say, she thought, but it was true. "I'm just thankful for such an incredible family," she said.
The photos turned out perfect. Instead of choosing one where everyone was smiling at the camera, she chose one of the last photos Patrick snapped. Catherine was in her arms and she was kissing her nose. She and Andrea spent the following week finishing the accompanying Editor's Note, and on the eve of Thanksgiving, the Holiday issue went to print. There was no turning back.
Miranda enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving at the townhouse with her immediate family. Since James' parents and Andrea's parents were just in town the week prior, it didn't make sense to travel again so soon. They had tentative plans to visit Boston and Cincinnati over the Christmas holiday.
"I was going to say this at dinner, but I was afraid I wouldn't make it through," Miranda said as she slipped out of her clothes and headed for the shower. The babies were sleeping in their bassinets. James came to pick up Caroline and Cassidy for the weekend after they had dinner. They were alone in the house.
"What were you going to say?" Andrea asked.
"That I'm thankful for you," Miranda said, tears threatening to fall.
Andrea hugged her tightly. "You make me feel so special, so loved, Miranda. Some days I wake up and can't believe that you chose me."
"Andrea, make love to me," she whispered.
The young woman's eyes darted towards the door, the only thing separating them from their sleeping children.
"They'll be fine for at least another hour," Miranda said.
Andrea finished taking her clothes off, then put on a robe and handed the other to Miranda. "Come with me," she said, taking her hand.
Miranda allowed herself to be led out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and downstairs into the dining room. "Where are we going?" she finally asked.
Andrea dimmed the lights and pulled the curtains shut. "Indulge me in this one fantasy, Miranda," she whispered. The older woman nodded, and Andrea gently lifted her up so she was sitting on the edge of the dining room table. "I've been wanting to make love here in the dining room for months, but we were never alone," she whispered as she began to trail kisses along Miranda's jaw. She could already smell Miranda's arousal and knew it wouldn't take much tonight, so she savored what she could.
Andrea gently pushed Miranda's robe off her shoulder, letting it fall back, exposing her breasts. She trailed her hands along Miranda's ribcage, causing the woman to arch her back and let out a moan. Andrea untied the sash and sat in the chair at the head of the table.
Miranda spread her legs, resting her feet on the chair's arm rests. Andrea continued moving her hands over the woman's body, pausing only to lick the trail of milk that was seeping from Miranda's right breast.
Andrea raked her tongue downward along her stomach as she stilled Miranda's hips, holding them in place. She gently licked the woman's folds, causing her to fall backwards against the table. "Miranda, sit up," she said. "I want you to watch me."
She pushed herself up onto her elbows and gazed down her body, locking eyes with the brunette between her legs. "I love you," she said, licking her folds again. "And I'm thankful for you," she said, sucking her clit out of its hood. As Miranda writhed and moaned on the table, Andrea slipped two fingers inside, curling them upwards.
"Oh god, Andrea!" Miranda screamed. She reached her hands out to the sides, gripping the edges of the table. "Oh, please…please, please, please," she moaned.
"Please what, darling?"
"Ohhh…harder, Andy! Fuck! Uh—uh—uh—ahh!" she cried out as her muscles clenched around Andrea's fingers. She didn't want to say anything, but it certainly seemed like all those exercises to strengthen her pelvic floor had paid off.
Without moving her hand, Andrea carefully climbed up onto the table. Miranda's breasts were squirting milk as the aftershocks rolled through her body. Once she seemed to settle, Andrea slipped her fingers from her warm center and slowly licked them, savoring Miranda's taste.
Miranda slowly opened her eyes and gazed glassy-eyed at Andrea. "I've never—I mean—" she panted.
Andrea gently kissed her on the lips as she lowered her body to rest against Miranda's. "I guess that was the last five weeks' worth of arousal building," she said.
"Has it been that long?" Miranda asked, wrapping her arms around Andrea.
"Mm-hmm, it was the week before Halloween, remember? The girls went to a costume party and slept over."
"You're right," she said. "I'm sorry, it won't be that long until our next time," Miranda said.
"You know that doesn't matter to me, Miranda. I don't need to orgasm to feel your love."
Miranda smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Do you hear what I hear?" Andrea nodded and turned to her side, slowly crawling off the table. "Next time, you're my dessert," Miranda said, grinning as she slipped her robe back on.
"Sounds like they're both awake," Andrea said.
"Of course," she said, quickly running up the stairs.
"Why don't you feed Callie, and I'll bring Catherine into the bathroom while I take a quick shower?" Andrea offered. "Then, once Callie's finished nursing, you can shower and we'll all be waiting for you in bed."
Miranda smiled. "Catherine does like to fall asleep while she's nursing," she said, chuckling. "Thank you."
TBC