As he sat up in bed, listening to nothing but the sound of his own breathing, Bam looked all around the room. This was the first full day Bam was going to spend at him, after getting out of the hospital. He felt good to be home but at the same time it felt a little strange to him. For the first time in a really long time it truly was just him and Missy at home that day and Bam didn't know how to handle it. He was told that since he was recovering from surgery that he had to get lots of rest and take it real easy. But for Bam that seemed to be the hardest thing in the world to do. He hated having to relax; in fact he hated the word "relax".

Missy quietly entered the room. As she approached the bed Bam held his eyes closed, so it appeared to her that he was still asleep. He opened his eyes and looked at her as she gently sat on the bed.

"Oh did I wake you?"

He shook his head "Nah. I was already awake."

"How are you feeling?"

"Alright I guess. Still pretty tired."

"I bet you're bored out of your mind right now."

"I am." He paused with a sigh 'Why'd I have to get sick? I hate this."

Missy reached over and ran her fingers through Bam's short hair and then patted his back "I know, Babe, but you know it'll get better."

"I really hope you're right."

Bam slid over to the side of the bed and swung his legs down over the edge. He let his feet hang above the floor for a second as he carefully and slowly brought up into a straighter position. Coming out of a sitting position into standing deemed hard work for him since having the surgery. He took in a deep breath and prepared himself for even a slight amount of pain in the stitched area on his stomach. Once he got to his feet he placed a hand on the bed behind him to give himself a little support.

"I feel like an old man."

Missy tried to stifle a snicker "Oh babe."

Grumbling quietly, Bam then left the bedroom and entered the bathroom. While standing in the bathroom, Bam tried not to think about everything. He stood by the sink washing his hands and then glanced up into the mirror. He still wasn't used to seeing himself with the faux hawk that Kelly gave him but the more he saw himself with it, the more he liked it. His eyes then turned down from his hair to his face. It was almost too hard for him to look at himself. To him he appeared even sicklier looking than he actually looked. He cringed and turned his head away from the mirror, unable to bear the sight before him.

Actually seeing himself for the first real time since he first got sick proved to be the hardest thing for him to do so far. After taking a good look at his reflection he closed his eyes and felt tears forming. However he told himself that he wasn't going to cry. He forced the tears back, telling himself that he wasn't going to let it get to him.

Not long after, Bam had made his way down to the lounge and collapsed onto the couch. Missy came over to him and handed him a partially filled glass.

"What's this?"

"It's ice tea. I thought you might like some."

"Is there booze in it?"

"No, you're not supposed to be drinking."

He let out a slight sigh "Alright. You're right. Thanks."

Bam took a drink and sat the glass on the cushion beside him in his hand. As he lay there occasionally sipping on his ice tea, thoughts began to flood his mind. This was one of the very few times that he had to actually let himself relax and just think about everything. Normally when ever he had times to think like this, he would use the time to come up with certain project ideas. But this was one of the very few times where he actually thought about life, death, what he wanted and what he felt he needed, and what he hoped for and the like.

Missy, who sat in the chair next to the couch where Bam lay, glanced up from what she was reading at Bam. She saw that he was lost in deep thought, which seemed odd to her.

"Babe?" He didn't respond so she raised her voice some "Bam?"

"Hmm?"

"You're being too quiet and it's scaring me."

Bam let out a slight grin and looked at her "Sorry, I've just been thinking."

"That's part of the reason why I'm scared. Who knows what could be going on through that head of yours?"

He smirked and shook his head "Miss I'm not even in the mood to pull any crazy shit or anything like that."

"Uh-oh."

"What?"

"That must mean you're sicker than we thought. Because you're always in the mood for crazy stuff."

"Missy I'm fine. You got nothing to worry about."

"If you insist. But I can't help worrying about you even when you're well."

"Oh whatever."

He sighed as he looked away before taking a sip of his ice tea. Placing a hand on his stomach, just above the stitches, he went back into his previous thoughts. After a moment of continuing his thoughts, he pulled himself into sitting position. He looked at Missy for a second as he straightened his thoughts out well enough to be able to tell them to her.

"Everything alright, Bam?"

"Yeah… it's just… hang on." He rubbed his eyes with one hand "Missy I think… I think that once I'm able to, we should go somewhere."

"Like where? Like on a vacation?"
He nodded "Yeah. I just want to go somewhere where I can like walk around and do whatever. There's no way that I can just sit around and relax at home. It's already driving me crazy."

"Ok, well, if you want to go on vacation then maybe we should."

"I just want to get away from doctors and shit like that."

"I completely understand. You know, a vacation just might be good for you."

Bam nodded his head before leaning it back against the back of the couch. He closed his eyes, feeling tired for a moment. Missy sat down next to him, taking his now empty glass from him and setting down on the nearby table. The two of them then began talking about where they would go and what they would do while on their up coming trip. Missy had to remind him a couple times that it would be best, because of his cancer, for him to still take it easy while on the trip, which Bam really didn't enjoy hearing. But he knew that she was right about taking things easy. He just hated that she was right.