In May of 2015, Caroline and Cassidy graduated from high school. As a graduation present, James would be taking them on a two-week trip to Europe in June. Caroline would be attending the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia in the fall to study business and communications, and Cassidy would attend Yale to study liberal arts since she was still a little unsure what she wanted to do. They were all so proud of the girls—even Cate and Callie were bragging to their friends about their big sisters starting college.
Also, that summer, Miranda began to slowly step away from her Editor-in-Chief duties. Irv Ravitz finally called it quits a few years ago, and Jackson Caldwell took his seat on the Board. Irv hadn't tried anything since Paris in 2006, but that cloud of uncertainty hung in the halls until Jackson stepped in. He, unlike Irv, knew that Runway was and would continue to be the company's most profitable venture. He worked closely with Miranda to find ways for Elias Clarke to make strides in the digital publishing space, including everything from exclusive video content to high-quality iPad editions. She promoted Serena to Senior Editor in June, with the understanding that she would take the next eleven months to ensure Serena had the right connections—and to clear out of her office.
"Hey Mom," Cassidy said, waving at her iPhone.
"Hi Bobbsey," Miranda said, smiling back through FaceTime. "What is going on with your hair?"
She laughed. "Um, I let Chelsea, my roommate, give me a blow-out. It's pretty huge, huh?"
"I'll say. Looks like a wig," she said. "Did you get the box that Uncle Nigel sent you last week? He was cleaning out the closet and thought you'd like that poncho."
"Yes!" Cassidy said. "In his note, he said he tried giving it to Andy when she worked at Runway, but she wouldn't wear it."
"Good. Don't forget to send him an email or text thanking him. He asks after you and your sister all the time," Miranda said.
"Is he still giving Cate and Callie dance lessons?"
"Oh, of course. He and Michael came over in tutus on Saturday, and the girls loved it. You'll have to ask them."
"I'll give them a call this weekend. How's work? Anything new with you and Andy?"
"Work is good. Serena is doing a remarkable job. I don't think she really needs me around, so I'm working shorter days and slowly but surely packing everything up," Miranda said.
"Good. And Andy? She emailed me a few days ago and said John was stepping down. Do you think she's going to get his job?"
"Well, there's nothing official yet, but, yes, that is the plan."
"Awesome! Is she excited?"
"I think so. It's a great opportunity for her."
"What's wrong?"
Miranda smiled. Cassidy could always read her so well. "Her 35th birthday is coming up and I don't know what to get her."
"Oh, Mom. You seriously do this every single year. Why don't you just marry her already? I mean, you can only promise it so many times," she said.
Miranda stared at her with a confused look on her face.
"You've been engaged for what, eight years? And it's been totally legal for at least the past five. You two always said you'd do it someday."
"Sweetheart, do you think you and Caroline could meet us in the city in a few weeks on a Friday afternoon?" Miranda asked.
"Sure. I've got Fall Break in two weeks, so I was planning to come home anyway. I think Penn has their break the week after ours, but I don't think Care has class on Fridays this semester. So, are you doing a big party, too?"
"No. Andrea doesn't want that. Okay, I have to go. Andrea is home. I'll email you, sweetie. Love you. Call us if you need anything."
"Okay, bye. Tell Andy I said congrats on the job," Cassidy said.
Andrea walked up to Miranda and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks Cass," she said. "Everything going okay? Oh, nice hair."
Cassidy smiled. "Yep, I'm good. Talk to you later. Love ya!"
Miranda closed the iPad and pulled Andrea onto her lap. "How was work, darling?"
"Linda called me into her office today and offered me John's job."
"That's wonderful!" Miranda said, hugging her tightly. "You accepted, of course?"
"Yes. I was shocked, though, when I realized his salary was three times what I'm currently making. I mean, how ridiculous is it that executives are getting paid so much and there are hard-working people struggling to provide for their families?"
"Honey, did you say anything?" Miranda asked.
"No. I just shook her hand and said 'thank you,'" Andrea said. "But I think, since we already have college funds setup for Cate and Callie, we should really start getting involved with a charity organization."
Miranda smiled. "I think that's a wonderful idea. I've been looking around a little, you know, so I can occupy myself once I leave Runway, and CFA—City Foundation for the Arts could be a good option for us both. Personally, I'd like to see them expand and include more fashion- and design-related programs, as well as more programs for LGBT youth, and I'm sure you would be interested in some of their initiatives for aspiring journalists."
"Sounds good," Andrea said. She bent down and kissed Miranda deeply. "The girls won't be home for another hour or so," she said, gently biting the other woman's lower lip.
Miranda inhaled sharply and firmly grabbed Andrea's ass. "I doubt we'll need that long," she whispered.
An hour later, they were sitting on the couch in the den, staring out the window in a peaceful bliss, waiting for Jacob—Roy's twenty-seven-year-old son and their new driver—to bring the girls home from school.
"Andrea," Miranda asked, looking up at her. "Will you marry me?"
The younger woman smiled. "Of course, but, um, haven't we already been through that? Isn't that why I wear this everyday?" she asked, flaunting her diamond.
"I meant, will you come with me to City Clerk's office so we can get a marriage license, and then sometime in the next sixty days, accompany me to City Hall so we can make it official?"
"Yes. Yes!" Andrea said, hugging her tightly. "You really want to do it?"
"Yes," Miranda said. "I've never stopped thinking about it, and, well, with your birthday coming up, I wanted to do something special."
"Would you want a party? A traditional ceremony?"
"It's entirely up to you," Miranda said. "I'll do whatever your heart desires. Just tell me what you want and I'll make it happen."
"I want it to be just us. City Hall or wherever. Maybe the girls can be our witnesses," she said. "And, no party or anything. It's kind of selfish, but I just want to celebrate with you. Is that okay?"
"I couldn't think of anything better," Miranda said with a smile as their daughters burst through the front door.
Their wedding in early November was nothing short of perfect. Caroline and Cassidy both surprised Andrea by showing up at City Hall with them, and after they exchanged their simple, but honest vows, they left for a weeklong honeymoon in the Hamptons while Helen and Mary Ann stayed in the city with the girls.
It was cool, grey, and rainy, but as she sat on the back porch swing with her wife, looking out at the ocean, there wasn't a single thing Miranda would change. She wasn't worried about any upcoming photo shoots or uninspired layouts. She wasn't worried about how much time her daughters were spending playing games on their iPads, or how many parties her other daughters were going to where alcohol was involved. She wasn't worried about growing old or sagging skin. She wasn't worried about making a statement in the latest of Lagerfeld's creations. She wasn't even worried about dying twenty years before her wife. Because, this week, none of it mattered. That week, she was wearing mismatched loungewear, sitting on the porch swing with a wool sweater. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and she put a bobby pin in her hair to hold her bangs back. None of it mattered because she was wrapped up in her wife's arms, watching the waves crash against the sand.
For Christmas that year, Catherine and Callie wanted to spend the holidays somewhere that wasn't New York City. Miranda suggested somewhere warm, with a beach, thinking they were just tired of the weather, but they turned that down right away. When Andrea suggested getting a cabin in Aspen, Colorado, they loved it. None of them were too keen about skiing, so they spent most of the time relaxing in the peace and quiet, sitting around a fireplace and watching the snow fall.
Cassidy told her family about a boy she was dating, and she hinted that he was going to ask her to go with his family to the Dominican Republic for Spring Break. Miranda and Andrea, of course, both wanted to meet him first, so they planned a trip out to visit her in Connecticut for the end of January.
Caroline, on the other hand, was doing really well in her studies, and she was now majoring in international communications and business. She told them about a program she was applying for at Penn where ten international business majors would be selected for a week-long immersion program in Hong Kong over Spring Break. Andrea was very encouraging, and they told her they would be sure to visit her in Philadelphia soon, especially if they didn't get to see her over break.
A few months later, Cassidy was home in New York for Spring Break—she and her boyfriend broke up before their trip—while Caroline was studying in Hong Kong. Miranda was a nervous wreck, so Andrea talked to Serena and made sure she had a time-consuming project at work to keep her mind off the fact that her nineteen-year-old daughter was on the other side of the world.
Andrea took a few days off to spend with Cassidy, and for the most part, they were able to plan everything for Miranda's 60th birthday party in May.
"So, we're going to tell Mom that Uncle Nigel is giving her a little retirement party, just for her close friends, but in actuality, it's going to be a huge party with friends, family, designers, the works, right?"
Andrea nodded. "If she asks him for details, Nigel's going to tell her it will be a quaint dinner in the Conrad Suite at Waldorf Astoria, when in reality, we'll have the main ballroom. I'll tell her that the five of us are going out for a nice dinner, too, so she won't get suspicious."
"I still can't believe Elias-Clarke is paying for half of this," Cassidy said.
"I know. They didn't have to, but it's nice that they recognize everything your mother has done for that magazine over the years. Now, before we send the final guest list to her assistant, let's make sure we didn't leave anyone off. Then, we should make book flights and make hotel reservations for my parents, my cousins, and then James' parents, too. Oh, and this probably goes without saying, but let's not tell Cate and Callie until that night."
"You know, I'm starting to see what attracted Mom to you ten years ago," Cassidy said, smiling as she leaned back against the couch.
"What?" Andrea asked, blushing slightly.
"You're organized. You think of everything. You have a plan and a back-up, and a back-up to the back-up. You make pulling off a party with a 1,000+ person guest list seem like it's no big deal."
"Well, it's not a big deal if you do it correctly."
Cassidy grinned. "I'm so glad Mom found you," she said.
"You know, there are still some days when I wake up and feel like it's all been a dream. You've welcomed me into your family and it's just been amazing," Andrea said, hugging her.
"Mom could have never handled it all without you."
"Do you think she'll cry at the party?" Andrea asked.
They exchanged glances and both erupted in laughter. "Oh, you kill me, Andy. You know she's going to be a sobbing mess. We'll have to bring her makeup."
A few months later, Miranda called Andrea from her office. "Hi, are you busy?"
"Nope, what's up?" Andrea said.
"Can you slip away for a while and come join me here?"
"Sure, where's 'here?'"
"My office."
"I'm leaving now," Andrea said, grabbing her bag and heading out the door.
"Thank you, Andrea."
"Of course. See you in ten minutes." She quickly hailed a cab and dialed Nigel's number as she was on her way. "Nige, what's going on with my wife? She wants to see me in her office."
"Yes. I think she's a bit nostalgic. The movers left about an hour ago with the last of her things, and they started taking the couch out, explaining that Serena ordered new furniture."
"Ohh, shit. Bad timing, huh?"
"Yeah. They cleared it up, though. They're not touching anything until she leaves today."
"Is it bad? I mean, do you think she'll be okay for the party tomorrow?" Andrea asked, getting out of the car and heading into the building.
"Nothing you can't fix, sweetie. I've gotta go. Good luck!"
Andrea took a deep breath and walked down the hall. The assistants were sitting at the desk, and Andrea kindly asked them to work from the conference room for the next hour. She quietly opened the office doors and shut them behind her.
Miranda was sitting on the large windowsill behind her desk. Her shoes were on the floor, and she had her feet tucked up underneath her. "Thirty years…" she said quietly.
Andrea walked over and stood behind her, wrapping her arms around the woman and resting her chin on her shoulder. "You'll have to get used to a different view," she said.
"I can't believe it's all over," Miranda said.
"Tell me what you liked most about this office. What was your favorite memory?"
Miranda smiled and wiped a stray tear from her eye. "I'll never forget the day I brought Cate and Callie here to the office. I think it was the only time I ever sat on the floor here."
"I remember that, too," Andrea said. "What about thirty years ago? Did you have the same furniture and everything?"
"No. I changed it in 2002, right after the World Trade Center…well, everything just needed a refresh. The colors were darker before that, more like our study at home."
"Anything you ever wanted to do here, but didn't get the chance?" Andrea asked.
"I can't believe it's over."
"I know," Andrea said. "I can't think of the right analogy, but you still have so much to live for, Miranda."
Miranda quickly turned around. "I know that. Oh, darling, please. I'm just a little sad, not beside myself. The girls are still in middle school, and I'm glad I'll never miss another event because of this magazine. And we have so many new memories to make…"
Andrea gently kissed Miranda on the cheek and took her hands. "Indulge me, then?"
Miranda nodded and let herself be led from the sill. Andrea pressed a few buttons on her phone, then set it on the desk. She smiled as the familiar tune by Cole Porter began to fill the room.
"Dance with me," she said.
Miranda wrapped her arm around Andrea's neck and slowly danced around her office. When the music stopped, Miranda kissed her.
"I can think of something else we've never done in this office," Andrea whispered.
"No. We've made enough memories in this office," Miranda said, walking over to the windowsill and putting on her shoes. "I'm ready to leave."
The next morning, Cassidy and Caroline made breakfast for the girls and took them out for manicures and pedicures, giving their moms some time alone. Around five o'clock, everyone started to get ready. Miranda thought it was a wonderful idea for Andrea to take the girls out to dinner, and part of her wanted to skip her little dinner party that Nigel arranged.
Jacob came by to pick up Andrea and the girls in the limousine, and they said goodbye to Miranda, rushing out the door so they wouldn't miss their reservation. About thirty minutes later, a town car pulled up for Miranda and she was shocked and delighted when Roy stepped out and opened the door for her.
"Roy, my goodness, it's been years. How are you and Kathleen?" Miranda said, hugging and kissing him on the cheek.
"We've been doing well. Thank you," he said. "I'm glad Jacob is working out."
"You have no idea how much I appreciate your family's loyalty. Thank you," she said, sliding into the backseat.
At the Waldorf Astoria, Michelle, one of the assistant managers, met Miranda out front and led her towards the elevators.
"I thought this was in the Conrad suite?" Miranda asked as Michelle led her in the opposite direction of the east elevators.
"Yes, we unfortunately have some emergency maintenance repairs on the main elevators. We'll just cut through the ballroom and use the north elevators."
Miranda nodded and followed her, thinking about what her girls would be talking about at the restaurant. When Michelle opened the doors to the ballroom, and turned on the lights, Miranda looked up and saw familiar faces: Andrea, her daughters, Nigel, Serena & Emily. She froze for a moment, then felt Andrea take her hand. "Andrea, what's going on? I thought you and the girls were—"
"We lied," Andrea said. "Happy birthday, my love," she whispered, taking Miranda's coat and bag.
"Miranda," Nigel said, hugging and kissing her. "I apologize for deceiving you, but everyone wanted to celebrate your amazing thirty-five year run at Runway."
Miranda's eyes finally adjusted and she took in everyone in the room. "Nigel—I—everyone is here. I don't know what to say."
"Well, don't cry or anything. Everyone's watching you," he whispered.
She smirked and slapped him in the shoulder before turning to Serena and hugging her.
"Miranda, I'm going to get up and say a few words shortly—did you want to say anything?" Serena asked.
She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, just a few words. There's no way I'll be able to talk to everyone here tonight. Thank you, Serena."
"Mommy!" Cate said, running up to her and giving her a big hug. Miranda picked her up and kissed her on the nose. "Happy Birthday, Mom!"
"And Happy Retirement!" Callie said, hugging her from the other side.
Miranda set Cate down and hugged both her girls. "I have to say hello to a lot of people. Will you girls mind coming with me?" she asked.
Everything about the party was perfect—even Miranda's impromptu speech. Around ten o'clock, Cassidy and Caroline said their goodbyes and took their younger sisters home. Miranda and Andrea followed a bit later, while Serena's assistants stayed around until the last guests left.
"Where is everyone staying?" Miranda asked while they were getting ready for bed.
"Our family has four or five rooms at the Four Seasons. They're all heading back tomorrow afternoon. The girls are going to have breakfast with them—their grandparents, at least. I didn't make any promises for us," Andrea said.
"Let's go. We hardly ever get to see George and Richard," she said. "Wait, I mean, if you're too busy, we don't have to go. I'm sorry. I forgot you still have to go to work on Monday."
Andrea shrugged. "I'm glad you enjoyed the party. Let's get some sleep."
Over the next few months, Miranda kept herself busy with charity work. She was invited as a guest lecturer at the 92nd Street YMCA, and recently there was talk about an opening on the CFDA's Board of Directors.
Cate and Callie kept them busy. Between school projects, after school clubs, field trips, and spending time with their friends, Miranda sometimes felt like she saw them less now than when she was working full time.
Every year, it seemed like May was the most hectic month. Cassidy and Caroline came back from school for summer vacation, but for the first few weeks, Cate and Callie still had classes. This year, the girls had just turned twenty years old. Cate and Callie were two months shy of their tenth birthday, but Miranda and Andrea couldn't agree on a party venue. Miranda wanted a pool party at their house in the Hamptons, but Andrea thought it was too dangerous.
"Hey Andy, why are you still up?" Cassidy asked as she walked by the study. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," Andrea said, closing her laptop. "I was just trying to get ahead of some work so I would be free this weekend. What's up?"
"Nothing. I'm just trying to catch up on my TV shows. Would you believe I missed the last season of Gossip Girl?" Cassidy said, sitting on the couch.
"Wow, you've been busy, huh?"
"Yeah. I'm taking two classes this summer, though, so it won't be that way for long."
"At CUNY, right? Which ones? Wasn't there a computer one?"
"Yep. Introduction to HTML5 and Advanced Photography. I'm really looking forward to using my new camera you got me for my birthday. Maybe by the end of the summer, I can build my own website for my work," she said.
"That would be really great, Cass. If you need help, I know our website editor at work is pretty cool and I'm sure he'd be willing to give you some tips."
"Thanks."
"What's Caroline planning on doing this summer?" Andrea asked.
Cassidy rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't know what to tell you. She's spent every waking moment with Brian, and I literally haven't have five minutes to talk to her," she said.
"Is she asleep now?"
"Uh, no. She—she's not home yet," Cassidy said.
"What?" Andrea hissed.
Cassidy took a deep breath. "We went to meet our friends for a movie, right? And then stopped for Italian ice, and met up with some other friends. They were all going back to Brian's house to hang out. I guess his parents are out of town. I didn't want to go so I came home."
"Without your sister? Sweetie, I don't want you taking cabs by yourself at night," Andrea said. "And where is Caroline? When is she coming home?"
Cassidy shrugged. "She didn't say. She's kind of bitchy when she's with Brian. Like she's pissed that she has to share the air space with anyone else."
Andrea looked at the clock. It was just past midnight. "Cass, why don't you go get some sleep, and try not to wake your mom or your sisters. I'm going to call Caroline."
"Okay. Goodnight, Andy. Sorry."
"Sweetie, come here," she said, opening her arms and wrapping the young girl in a hug. "I love you. You don't have to apologize. I'm just worried about your sister—and what your mother will say when she finds out," Andrea said, kissing her on the forehead.
Cassidy left the room and Andrea quickly dialed Caroline's number and left a voicemail: Hey Care, it's Andy. Call me back immediately. Love you.
A few minutes later, the phone rang. "Caroline?"
"Hey Andy, what's going on?"
"Caroline, where are you?"
"I'm at Brian's," she said. "It's late, so I'm just going to stay over here."
"Honey, I don't think that's a good idea. Let me come pick you up."
"What? No. I'm not a little kid!"
"Caroline, you have to tell us if you're making plans to stay somewhere else. We worry. And I don't like the idea of you letting your sister come home by herself. Where are you?—I'll come get you."
"No. Don't! God, that would be so embarrassing. I'm fine. It's not like I have to tell you what I do every night when I'm at school. Why is it any different now?" Caroline said.
"Honey, I hate to break it to you, but when you're living under this roof, you have to at least tell us where you are. This is not a revolving door."
Caroline sighed. "Does Mom know?"
"No," Andrea said. "And I don't want to wake her up and make her a nervous wreck. It would behoove you to come back first thing in the morning, though."
"Behoove? I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Thanks for covering for me, Andy."
"Care, I am not 'covering' for you! If I knew where your boyfriend lived, I would be in the car this very minute. We will sit down and talk about this when you get home."
"Okay. Sorry, Andy. I'll be home in the morning. I love you."
"Love you, too, Care. Please be safe tonight. Use protection, will you?" Andrea said.
"Yes, we're good. Thanks, Andy. Goodnight, love you, too," she said, hanging up the phone.
That morning, Miranda woke up early and made breakfast for the girls before taking them to school. Andrea arranged to work from home in the morning, explaining to Miranda she was in the middle of something and didn't want to break her focus. In reality, she was a little nervous and wanted to wait for Caroline to get home.
The minute Miranda stepped out the door, Andrea texted Caroline: Are you coming home?
She replied immediately: On my way!
When Andrea heard the front door open, she practically ran downstairs and was surprised to see Miranda. "Oh, it's you—you're back already," she said.
"Of course. I get home at this time every morning. I thought you were working—were you expecting someone else?" Miranda asked with a smile.
Just then, the front door opened and Caroline slipped inside, carefully closing it so it wouldn't make a sound. She gasped when she saw her mother and Andy staring at her.
Miranda's eyes went from the Manolo Blanhik heels to the BCBG miniskirt to the off-the-rack satin tank and blazer. Her eye makeup was smudged into what was crudely called 'raccoon eyes,' and her hair was tied up in a ponytail.
"Caroline…" Miranda said in a low, quiet voice neither of them had heard in a long time.
"Care, go upstairs now. Take a shower and get cleaned up, then your mother and I will be in to talk to you," Andrea said.
"Mom, I'm sorry. I spent the night at a friend's. I lost track of time, and then it was too late to come home. I talked to Andy, though, and she said it was okay," Caroline babbled.
"Caroline. Upstairs, now," Andrea said, pointing up the staircase.
She bent down and took off her heels before running up the stairs two-at-a-time. Miranda turned to Andrea, her eyes glowing with rage. "Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on?"
Andrea reached for Miranda's hands, but she quickly pulled away. "Look, Miranda. I was going to tell you. I was awake last night, which is how I heard Cassidy come in and realized Caroline wasn't with her."
"And that's when you just told her it was fine to stay out all night and come home looking like a hooker?"
"Miranda, please calm down. I wanted to pick her up, but she convinced me she was okay. She promised she was safe."
"Who are you to let my daughter decide whether she's being safe in the middle of the night in New York City!?" Miranda shouted.
Andrea took a deep breath. "The girls are twenty years old. They need to make their own decisions. I certainly wasn't condoning her sleeping over at her boyfriend's—I made—"
"Wait, boyfriend's? You let her spend the night at her boyfriend's house?"
Andrea took a deep breath. "I made it very clear that it was not okay and that we would all talk about this tonight. But I also know that as parents, we can't tell a twenty-year-old what to do. We can only encourage her to make smart decisions, and to be safe about it."
"Oh, so we're just supposed to suggest she comes home at a decent hour, but if she doesn't want to, send her with a box of condoms? Is that what you're saying? Clearly, you're the one with the parenting experience."
"Okay, first, I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Miranda, come on. At least I talk to them about sex. Your daughters are beautiful young women going through some of the craziest, best years of their lives. Instead of supporting them, you're in some sort of denial. So what if I made sure she had condoms? Whether you like it or not, your daughters are going to have sex. They're going to have sex—with boys, or maybe girls, who knows. And unless you're ready for grandchildren—I know I'm not—I'm going to keep encouraging them to use protection," Andrea said before she turned and marched up the stairs.
"Where are you going?"
"To sit and wait for Caroline to get out of the shower."
Miranda followed her upstairs in silence. In Caroline's bedroom, Andrea leaned against the desk while Miranda took a seat on the edge of the bed next to Caroline, who was already out of the shower.
"Caroline," Miranda said, "I am disappointed in you. I thought I raised you better than that."
While Miranda continued lecturing her daughter, Andrea noticed Cassidy standing in the doorway. She softly waved her inside and moved over so she could lean against the desk, too.
"Nothing good happens after midnight, Caroline. As long as you're living in this house, you will be home by eleven-thirty!" Miranda said.
"Stop treating me like a fucking child!" Caroline shouted. "I'm not a bad kid. I stayed out too late one time, Mom! At least when Andy is pissed, she still respects me and treats me like an adult."
"Oh, because she tells you to use condoms, she's the better parent?" Miranda hissed. "I won't have my daughters becoming some unmarried teen pregnancy statistic!"
"First, we're not teenagers anymore. Second, I should have known that you were only concerned with what people would think of you," Caroline said. "Well don't worry. I'm nothing like you. Extramarital affairs and unplanned pregnancies aren't my style!"
"Caroline Samantha Priestly!" Miranda shouted. "Don't you dare talk to me like that!" she screamed. She was visibly upset—her face was red, her fists were clenched, and she was shaking.
Andrea quietly wrapped her arm around Cassidy.
"Just because Andy accepts it without question doesn't mean we do," Caroline said quietly through her tears. "Mom, can't you see what a double standard that is? I'm twenty, and you're freaking out because you think I had sex last night—which I didn't, if anyone cares to hear the truth—but yet, you slept around and won't even tell Andy, your wife, who the father of her own children is. You are not in a position to judge me, Mom."
Miranda opened her mouth to speak a few times, but couldn't find the words. After a few minutes of silence, she cleared her throat. "Caroline, is this about Catherine and Callie's father? If this has been bothering you so much, why haven't you said something?"
"We tried, Mom. We've been trying for the past ten years. You just kept lying and saying they didn't have a father. At some point, we realized that was biologically impossible, so we just stopped asking," Caroline said.
Miranda looked up at Andrea who was standing on the other side of the room with her arm around Cassidy. Her eyes were closed as she pressed a kiss to Cassidy's forehead. "Andrea? Do you have anything to say or did you spew out all you had to say downstairs—when you tried to explain why you were encouraging my daughters to have sex?"
Cassidy jumped away from the desk. "Don't talk to Andy like that," she said. "She is just as much our mother as you are. It's easier to talk to her about stuff like that—especially stuff that you just want to pretend isn't happening. She hardly 'encourages' us, but like Care said, she treats us like adults and respects us. She answers our questions and then always says," Cass looked over at Caroline.
"'If you're going to be stupid, at least do it safely,'" they both said in unison.
Cassidy reached back and squeezed Andrea's hand, but the brunette was looking down at the ground.
"Mom, don't get mad at Andy because of this. If you want us to trust you enough to talk to you about this…well, I think you have to start with admitting that you cheated on Stephen and got yourself pregnant. And, I mean, you act like you did nothing wrong, but when it comes to us, one late night and I'm a hooker, isn't that what you said? It's not fair, Mom," Caroline said.
Miranda looked up with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't set a better example for you," she said quietly.
"Mom," Cassidy said. "We love you no matter what."
"We get that you want to make sure we don't make the same mistakes you did, but—" Caroline was cut off.
"Catherine and Callie were not mistakes!" Miranda snapped.
"I know," Caroline said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just, how can we learn from your past experiences if you're refusing to acknowledge that it even happened? We're not ten years old anymore."
Silence filled the room. Andrea had no intention of opening her mouth, and she prayed that the girls would just let this conversation die, despite how much she agreed with them.
"Mom," Caroline continued, "if you're not going to be honest with us about it, like I said before, you have absolutely no right to judge my decisions, which, by the way, do happen to be better than yours." She jumped up from the bed and began walking out of her room.
"Wait!" Miranda called. "Wait, Caroline, please. We're not through."
Caroline stopped and stood near Cassidy.
Miranda turned to Andrea. "What about you? Do you think that? Does it bother you that I haven't been honest? That I won't talk about it? Tell me the truth."
"Miranda, it's been ten years," she said. "I think there was a time when it bothered me very much, but now…" Andrea shrugged. "I do think Caroline has a valid point, though."
"Why didn't you tell me it bothered you?"
"Well, I tried to, but I never wanted it to lead to a huge fight. I just had to accept that not knowing was part of the package—that there were some things you would never trust me enough to share with me," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
Miranda saw the hurt and disappointment in Andrea's eyes and it nearly broke her heart. "I'm sorry," she cried, looking over at her daughters. "I didn't say anything at first because I thought Andrea wouldn't want to be with me if she knew the truth—that she wouldn't be able to trust me, to love me."
"Obviously, in spite of this, she's still with you," Cassidy said.
Andrea walked over to the bed and sat next to Miranda. She picked up her hand and wrapped her arm around the woman's shoulders. "I love you and will continue to love you for the rest of my life," she whispered. "No matter what you have to say or whether you even say anything at all."
"I don't deserve this," Miranda said.
"Girls, why don't you give us a few minutes?"
"No, wait," Miranda said. "Let them stay. They're adults—you've all proven your point. I guess it's about time I'm honest with you."
"Miranda, you don't have to," Andrea said. Somewhere deep inside, she wasn't sure she wanted to hear whatever it was Miranda had to say. Somehow, she thought it might be better if her promises weren't put to the test.
"No. If I don't say this now, it will drive a wedge between us—me and you anyway," she said, looking at Caroline. She took a deep breath. "I've done things that I'm not proud of. I thought that not talking about it would make it disappear, but I think we all know it hasn't. I don't know who their father is," she said.
Cassidy and Caroline exchanged glances, and Andrea's mouth opened a little as she held her hand.
"We were at a party—some holiday gathering for Stephen's company. I didn't want to be there, but we promised to accompany each other to one work event each year and, well, this was the last one, and I had to go. He spent the night chasing after one of the cocktail waitresses, and I, well, I stayed at the bar all evening. I guess there are multiple lessons in here. Stephen left without even telling me. Once everyone was gone and the bartender began to close up, I grabbed my things and was heading towards the lobby to find a cab. A young man offered his arm as I was losing my balance, and he invited me upstairs for some coffee to sober up. He told me I was too gorgeous to be leaving alone. And, god, this sounds awful, but it had been so long since I truly felt desirable. A perfect stranger… The next thing I knew, well, I woke up in bed next to him without my clothes. It was something like three in the morning. I got up to use the bathroom and threw up from all the alcohol I'd consumed on an empty stomach. I washed my face, then slipped on my dress and coat and had the front desk call me a cab home. And, well, that's all I remember," she said.
"I'm so sorry," she said quietly, turning to Andrea. "I initially had no reason to contact him, and then by the time I found out I was pregnant, I had no way of finding him. I don't even remember what color hair he had," she said, crying quietly.
Andrea hugged her and took her face in her hands, smiling. "I'll never understand why it was so hard for you to say that, but thank you," she said, kissing her.
Miranda wiped her eyes and laid her head on Andrea's shoulder, looking up at the girls. "Girls, can you forgive me—for not setting a very good example, and for keeping this from you?"
"Mom, of course," Cassidy said, climbing up on the bed and hugging Miranda from behind.
Caroline nodded her head and sat next to Miranda. "I'm sorry I brought this up, Mom. I didn't mean to make you so upset."
Miranda rolled her eyes. "Bobbsey, I should have told you long ago. You were right—I haven't really been treating you two like adults. I've made plenty of questionable decisions, and if talking about it can help you to make better choices, that's what we'll do. Come here," she said, pulling her daughters into a big hug.
Andrea cleared her throat and said she needed to send a few quick emails to her assistant, letting her know that she wouldn't be going into the office today. Caroline and Cassidy offered to go downstairs and make lunch, giving the two women some time alone.
Miranda found Andrea in the study and sat next to her on the couch. "I can't tell you how much better I feel after telling you that," she said, taking a deep breath. "I never realized how much guilt I was carrying around."
Andrea smiled as she closed her laptop and set it on the coffee table. "I'm a little relieved, maybe. You have no idea what's been going through my mind these past ten years," she said.
"Really? Like what?" Miranda asked.
"Well, for one, any time you mentioned a meeting or dinner with one of the guys on the Board, I found myself analyzing their facial structure and hair color and trying to figure out if the girls looked like any of them."
Miranda covered her face with her hands. "Are you terribly upset with me?"
"For overreacting about Caroline, yes. For not telling me about the twins' father, no. But, I doubt this will keep my mind from wandering every time I see you with a handsome man."
"Well, now we can at least talk about it. I have to admit I've had those thoughts, too. Especially if someone approaches me as if they know me but I don't remember them—which, as you know, happens a lot," Miranda said.
Andrea laughed. "I think it's good that you told the girls."
"I think so, too," Miranda said. "They have your blood type, you know."
"Cate and Callie?"
Miranda nodded. "A negative."
"What are you?"
"O positive," she said. "I'm sure they're going to ask about their father someday. When they discover that it's—how did Caroline say it—biologically impossible that you're the other parent."
"I know. And we'll have to tell them something. Let's just cross that bridge when we come to it," Andrea said. "Let's go downstairs and have something to eat."
"Wait," Miranda said. "Are you sure we're okay?"
Andrea watched her closely. "We are. I think there's a little bit more, but I trust that you'll tell me when you're ready."
"No," Miranda said. "I mean, can we just finish talking about it now? This is a conversation I'm not too keen on revisiting."
"Speak now or forever hold your peace?" Andrea said with a smirk.
"Something like that," Miranda said, curling up against Andrea's chest. "I'm so conflicted about all of this. I spent months hating myself for being so reckless. I'm fifty years old and I had drunken sex with a stranger. Teenagers make mistakes like that, not fifty-year-olds. I never thought I would be able to face the girls if they knew what happened. And—what if the girls would have looked like him?"
"Miranda, why didn't you talk to me?"
"I couldn't. Don't you see? I was so ashamed…but the thought of those two pure, perfect little baby girls gave me hope. And you—I didn't think you'd stay. I was mortified when you asked me about the father, and I thought for sure you'd want no part of all this. And then, you did stay, and you never asked me again. After all that, I didn't want to risk bringing it up because I didn't want to risk losing you."
"But I told you I wasn't leaving," Andrea said.
"I know. I would have told me that, too. But, I don't think I could have followed through."
"Miranda, I feel as if by being supportive, I've only made it more difficult for you emotionally. Tell me what I can do," Andrea said.
Miranda kissed her and wrapped her arms tightly around the woman's shoulders. "You are doing it, darling. You're loving my daughters. You're a wonderful parent—the best co-parent I could ask for. You must know I didn't mean what I said before."
"I know. We all say things we don't mean when we're upset," Andrea said. "How would you like to get out of the house for a little bit and take a walk with me?"
Miranda sat up and wiped her eyes. "Okay," she said. They stood from the couch and made their way to the foyer where Miranda pulled her dark sunglasses from her bag and headed out to the front steps.
Andrea quickly ducked her head into the kitchen. "We're going for a walk. If we aren't home, please pick up your sisters at school. Half past three, but you'll need to give yourselves extra time because of the resurfacing on Broadway," she said.
"Got it, Mom. We'll take care of it," Caroline said.
Andrea smiled and her eyes welled up. Cassidy and Caroline hardly ever called her that. "Don't get into any trouble while we're out. If you're going to be stupid," she said, "well, you know the rest." She quickly grabbed her phone and ran out to meet Miranda on the front porch.
They walked to Central Park in silence. There was no need to discuss whether to take 3rd Avenue to 72nd Street or to cut across 63rd Street and follow 5th Avenue all the way. There was no need for small talk, for holding hands, for discussing the weather. After ten years, they found that words weren't always necessary.
Today was one of those days.
They could have discussed their future, shared their thoughts on Caroline's boyfriend, or their concerns that Cassidy couldn't settle on an academic major. They could have talked about the girls' upcoming tenth birthday party, or what they would buy for Ethan, the little boy Serena and Emily were finally able to adopt.
But they didn't.
Andrea could have spent the time telling Miranda how much she loved her—how she would always love and cherish her. Miranda could have told her how grateful she is each and every day that she has the love of such an incredible woman. They could have discussed moving into a new house with fewer stairs and more bedrooms for when family comes to visit. They could have talked about how pale lavender was Miranda's latest favorite color, despite the fact that most women, including herself, were too pale to wear it.
They could have talked about a million things, but instead, they said nothing at all.
On that sunny spring afternoon, walking through Central Park with the love of her life, Miranda Priestly's heart was filled with an indescribable happiness. When Andrea reached down and laced their fingers together, she knew that she felt it, too.
The End. xo
Author's Note: Thank you for taking the time to read this. I can only hope you've enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. xo