This had become the longest and worst hospital stay that Bam ever had in his long history of going to the hospital. His cancer and depression had grown worse with each passing day. The doctors were scrambling, trying everything that they could to keep Bam alive. Bam wasn't sure if he felt worse physically or emotionally. All he knew was he hated having to be in the hospital for so long. Every day, numerous times throughout the day, some nurse would come into his room to check up on him. Each time a nurse entered the room she made an attempt to have a conversation with Bam. But not every time did Bam talk back. And on the times he had talked back to the nurse, not every time was he nice to her. He hardly ever was in the mood for chit-chat with some random nurse so he usually tried to turn down conversation in a nice (as possible) way.
His friends and family came in to visit him every day as well. However when they paid him their visits, he usually was in the mood to talk to him but he was too tired, too weak, or too sick to his stomach. But he would bite the bullet and make his best attempt at visiting with them, even for a few minutes. But with each passing day it became harder and harder for him to be able to withstand even the shortest visits with those he cared about.
Missy was almost always by his bedside. But Bam soon became too weak to be able to even acknowledge the fact that she was even there. There were often times where she was told that she had to leave because of visiting hours being over but she refused to leave Bam alone. It killed her to sit there day after day watching Bam's declining condition, but it killed her even more to leave him by himself in his hospital room, even if it was just for the night.
One morning, after spending the night in Bam's room, Missy had begun to straighten up her small sleeping area. As she picked up the pillow to fluff it she glanced over her shoulder at Bam's bed. She sat the pillow down when she noticed that Bam was awake and looking at her. Pulling over a chair next to the bed, she sat down.
"Good morning Bam. How are you feeling?"
He looked at her and for a moment he didn't respond to her "Tired…" He very quietly croaked
"Would you like any thing?"
He closed his eyes and very lightly shook his head before looking at her again. His eyes were dull and lifeless; the very opposite of the way they had looked all the time before he had got sick. It was sad for Missy to look into his eyes and see a large lack of sparkle in them. Bam, still keeping his gaze upon her, slid his hand over toward her on the bed. She reached down and lightly placed a hand on top of his, allowing him to hold onto it the best that he could. A small grin formed upon her lips as he held her hand. It was hard but Missy managed to hold back tears.
She vowed that she wasn't going to cry in front of Bam as long as he was in the hospital. However, her vow was becoming harder and harder to keep as the realization of the fact that it was very possible that Bam wasn't going to be making it out of the hospital grew stronger within her.
Phil and April had come up to see Bam one morning but they had not prepared themselves for that they had arrived to once they got to his room. Bam appeared to be barely holding on to a single thread of life. It appeared as though he was growing weaker the harder he fought to stay alive. When they spoke to him he could barely muster up the strength to speak even a couple small words. They never imagined ever having to face one of their own children in such a heartbreaking state; especially Bam.
Missy, who normally would have been right by Bam's side, had succumbed to sitting curled up in a chair in the far corner across the room. Her emotions had finally taken a toll on her, leaving her a complete emotional wreck. She couldn't even bare to look over at Bam. Being strong for him the whole time he was in the hospital had finally become too much for her.
Bam turned his eyes toward the doctor as he came into the room and greeted Phil, April and Missy. He closed his eyes for a short moment and took in a struggled breath as he tried to listen to what was going on around him. He could only pick up on bits and pieces of what was being said but her knew what the conversation was about. It was clear to everyone, including Bam himself that Bam was on his last breaths. However, it wasn't clear exactly how much longer Bam had before he passed. The doctor discussed with Bam's parents and (even though she didn't appear very responsive to the conversation) Missy about whether to take Bam off of life support or not. They also discussed briefly about what funeral arrangement would be made.
The whole time Bam listened as best as he could to their conversation. Part way through the conversation, however, Bam found himself, on top of the great weakness he was already experiencing, overcome with a sensation that he was unable to withstand. This was a sensation that, even though it wasn't new to him, he had never imagined himself even feeling at least not at this degree.
Pain. It was possibly the worst pain Bam had ever felt in his life. The pain was so unbearable that he almost couldn't breathe. He could hardly move. He could hardly keep his eyes open. His eyes were barely open as it was. He felt like there wasn't a single spot on his body that didn't hurt. Trying to fight through all this excruciating pain proved to be next to impossible for him to do right then. He struggled to open his eyes a little more but once he had then opened he wanted to close them tightly. But the pain prevented him to even close his eyes and it blinded him with a sharp, bright, white light. He wanted to cry but he only managed to let out the smallest squeak of a whimper. Even that tiny whimper was hard for him to produce.
Bam had no idea that one person was capable of undergoing all this pain. He had no idea that he would one day be forced to suffer this much. He never knew that pain would also frighten him as much as he was right then. He was beyond scared. He thought that there was no way he'd be able to make it through it all. It scared him even more once he realized that he could no longer bear the pain and suffering. With one last breath he closed his eyes and the pain faded away.