The smell of freshly brewed coffee runs through your nose. It is a comforting smell. You relax and ease off your neck muscles. You watch the last drops of brown liquid run into the pot and fidget with your cup. After a few moments you take a sip of the hot coffee and feel it warming your stomach. You let out a sigh and close your eyes. Your thoughts are drifting to JJ. The last 8 hours were exhausting for her. The whole issue with the evaluation, Jill, who cornered with you JJ in her own apartment. You all had to talk insistently on JJ. That was a big deal. After that, you all secured the apartment, to make sure JJ could not harm herself. She still is not in a cooperative mood. Tonight you want to see it for yourself, that JJ is doing ok.
The noise of the familiar chatter comes from the living room. Reid, Emily and Garcia are discussing a new movie and you can see Rossi listening and smiling in the corner of the room. You make your way with some cups and the pot of coffee to the living room.
"I will quickly check on JJ, I will be right back."
With the cup in your hand you stop at one door before JJ's room. You gently push the door open. It is silent and the light from the hallway is the only light that makes something in the room visible. You take a look around. It seems as the room would be used everyday, as still somebody lives here. You sit down on the bed and take the stuffed animal. Jack has a similar one, you think. Your eyes water as you grip it tighter. You feel your heart sink and a emotional pain wrenches through your belly. Nobody should have to bury his child. For a few minutes you just sit there and stare on the plushie. You have to swallow and run your hands across your face. You inhale through your nose and let it out with a sigh. 'You have to be strong for JJ', you say to yourself. With a last look on the stuffed bear, that you placed back on the bed, you grab your cup and leave the room.
Slowly you push the door to JJ's bedroom open. A small light in the corner is the only light in the dimmed room. You stand in the door for a few minutes as you listen to the steady breathing of JJ. For a moment it seems to be everything is quite peaceful. But the moment goes by.
And you see JJ begins to twitch in her sleep. Her arms and legs begin to move, you see her hands grip the sheets, the knuckles white. She moans quietly. You put your cup on the nightstand and sit down on the side of the bed. You gently stroke her hair. You hope maybe it is just a little nightmare and she can continue sleeping, that she needs the most at the moment. The hope fades away as the moaning begins to get louder.
You are alert as JJ begins to mumble, "Stop!".
She stirs with the whole body. You stroke her shoulder and begin to talk to JJ.
"Ssshh …..JJ, it's ok, it is just a nightmare."
"NO!" She screams. "NOOO!" It is a utter panic and heartbreaking. She suddenly begins to move towards you and you don't notice she is about to fall out of the bed. You can only manage to catch here and let her down to the floor. But she is agitated and screaming, kicking.
"WILL! No no no..."
You are finally able to engulf her in your embrace, firmly holding her against your chest.
"JJ! Wake up JJ!"
You try as your hands stroking her cheeks. But she is still moving around in your embrace, tries to fight you, boxing you, her legs are struggling to push herself out of your lap.
"Henry!" She cries.
"Sssshhhhh... easy JJ, you are safe here. Sssssshhhh!"
"Please..." She whimpers. "Please!"
You feel your eyes water and the painful emotions, that you know too well, are making their way through your heart. You close your eyes and continue the tender stroking across her back as your firmly embrace becomes tighter. She is screaming, shaking through sobs and your shirt is wet by all the tears.
"JJ..." You try again.
Her movement stops. You can feel her settling down. Slowly she goes limp and lies at your chest. Her breathing steadies after a few minutes. She starts to shiver. You can tell she finally has woken up. That was an eternity for you, but you remain calm and continue your firm embrace. Letting your warm body feeling her safe. Several minutes went by and you finally look up to the door.
The door to the bedroom is full of people, just standing there, concerned, very concerned. You see Garcia moving closer, but at the same time JJ is pulling away from you, tensing up again.
"It's Garcia" you tell her quietly while stroking her hair. You look down to her and reassure her everything is ok. She finally eases and sinks back on you. You make eye contact with Garcia and nod.
"Sugar drop?" Garcia looks down to JJ. "Can Hotch and I help you change, you jammies are soaking wet."
You can see JJ recognizing her shape. She is pale and the pearls of sweat are on her forehead. Not only there, her whole body is wet from the fight that she was going through.
Still shivering she only answers, "I am cold." She pauses and snuggles closer to you. "I am cold, Hotch."
You stroke her back and sling your arms around her shoulders. One hand is holding the back of her head, gently pushing it against your chest.
"Okay, how about a hot bath?" Garcia offers her. "Reid is here, so is Emily and Rossi." While Garcia is turning on the bedroom light, you see only Rossi standing there.
You feel JJ shift in you lap, considering what to do. "No." is her answer.
Reid shows up again with a cup and a faint smile.
"I know what might help." Reid makes his way to you and JJ. "It's hot chocolate."
With a shaky hand, JJ takes the cup. "Thank you Spense."
You look around to gather the expressions on the faces of Rossi and Emily. Some relief you see, but over all both are very concerned, about the upcoming time. You begin to let the happening of the last hour sink into your mind. You fade Reid out talking some statistics to Garcia about hot chocolate. You are watching JJ enjoying sip by sip her hot drink. Apparently JJ was going through hell in her dreams. You never witness something heartbreaking like this. This was not just a nightmare. She was reliving the execution of her loved ones. The most awful, dreadful moment anyone can imagine. After a few moments you are ripped out of your thoughts, as JJ put her hand on your chest.
"Hotch, help me."