A/N Thank you so much for your reviews/follow/favorite. The first story is always special, so I hope I can enjoy you further. I'm glad about every single one that reads Pain and this story.
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The traffic lights are reflecting on the streets. It is dark outside and it rains. Oh yeah it rains, the water pours down on your car, the whole street is under water, it seems to be a great big puddle. The windscreen wiper are working on high level. You are tired and the view out of your windscreen isn't helping much to stay awake. The radio station is gossiping around, you are annoyed and switch it off. Finally the traffic light turns into green. You sigh and start your car into the rush hour.
It was an exhausting day, you had to work almost all day in the office. Some annoying budget meetings and conversations with bureaucrats made you almost freak out mentally. You didn't even have the chance to visit JJ today yet. You were updated by Emily earlier, but you want to talk to the doctor yourself. Yesterday was a very nerve-wracking day, the entire emotional roller coaster you went through. So right now, you are fighting your way through the capital's rush hour on your way to the hospital.
Finally you pull into the parking lot. You step out of the car and forget your umbrella – great. You fold up the collar of your coat and run through the pouring rain to the entrance of the hospital. Inside you take a look around, while you stretch out your coat and fold your collar down again. You were lucky, you are not soaking. The elevators approach in your sight, while you are walking through the corridor. You check your watch, as you are standing in front of the elevator. The appointment with the responsible doctor of JJ is in about 10 minutes. The rush hour didn't slow you down that much. You push the button of the 6th floor as you step in the elevator. You pull out your phone to check some mails 'The work never ends' you think. A little bit lost in your mails, the ding of the elevator brings you back into the moment. You sigh. You push the door to the ICU open and the familiar smell of the unit makes its way to your nose. You can hear the sound of medical machines beeping and some alarms are going off. You make your way to the nurse station to let them know you are here.
"Good evening." You tell the blonde woman sitting at the working desk.
"Good evening to you too, Agent Hotchner! " She smiles, stands up and walks around the desk and shakes your hand.
"Agent Prentiss is with Agent Jareau right now." She continues as Dr. Kassanoff joins you.
"Ah you must be Agent Hotchner, good to see you!"
The doctor is greeting you. You can tell he is about your age.
"Dr. Kassanoff nice to meet you." You shake his hand.
"So since the late evening yesterday there is some development. You wanted to be updated by me, right?"
"Yes, I would appreciate it."
"Ok then, follow me."
You left yesterday evening late. You spend almost the entire afternoon and evening in the hospital, after JJ was brought in. When you left, she wasn't doing well. The lab showed that the liver could not compensate the amount of pain medication, as expected. But you had to leave, unfortunately. You had to trust your team to be there for JJ. You couldn't cancel your appointments today at the bureau. It was eating you up, but you talked to Strauss. The rest of the week you are able to be there for JJ. The conversation with Strauss was a hard one. It was one of your "appointments" today. Explain the situation. Great. You were almost at the point again ready to hit something. But you were able to manage yourself...again. You feel that is not going to be last forever. You have to do something about the ticking bomb inside you.
You enter a small conference room and take a chair to sit down. Dr. Kassanoff sits down beside you. You look at him and study his face, as he opens the medical chart of JJ. After a few moments he takes his pen and looks up to you.
"So, I was updated by my colleague Dr. Finn this morning about the last day and night. He told me you were one of the people who found her?"
"Yes. I was with her until late evening yesterday."
"Ok, Dr. Sutherland of the ER department and my colleague Dr. Finn talked to you yesterday. So you are aware of Agent Jareau's main condition."
"Yes, but I would appreciate it if you don't let out any detail."
"Of course. During the last night, Agent Jareau's condition deteriorated further. Her liver almost completely failed and her cardiovascular system wasn't stabilized by that time. Her entire lab showed worse results. Her life was on a knife edge last night. This morning we could stabilize her kidney function with a supporting dialysis. Her cardiovascular system is still weak right now. During the day there was not much progress. Agent Jareau is still in very critical condition. Her liver results in the lab are still worse an hour ago. We support her with medication, but we can't compensate her organs. We hope her kidneys will work properly soon."
You wanted that information. You wanted to hear all about that terrible process that was going on the last 20 hours. But right now you don't know anymore if you want to hear that. You are torn between your responsibility to know and your feelings as a friend. You steady yourself mentally.
"Is she still on the ventilator?"
"Yes, until she wakes up by herself, that will last."
You only nod and look down to the medical chart lying on the table in front of you.
"What is your prognosis, what do we have to except in the next 24 hours?" You look up to him in his eyes.
"Well, as I said we hope her kidneys regain their full function again. I hope the peak of her liver failure is right now. So either she will lose her liver function completely the next hours or she will compensate and the lab will show some positive progress until the morning. But that is more theory than fact. I can't tell you what will be in the next 12 hours. If she is showing signs of improvement, we wont know until tomorrow. I'm sorry."
"We have to wait?"
"Yes, we have to wait. We can't do anything more, it is up to her right now."
You look down at your hands and sigh. Waiting, again. You wished you could do something, but you knew the moment you enter this building you have to be patient. Your gaze goes up again and focuses Dr. Kassanoff.
"Thank you doctor for your time."
"Of course, if you have more questions just let me be informed."
"I'll do that. Have a good night." You stand up and reach out your hand.
#
After leaving the conference room you wait for some minutes in front of JJ's room. You let the received information sink in. You feel unease again, it is more and more difficult to gain confidence. You remind yourself to get yourself together, you have to be strong now for JJ. And for the team. They watch you, evaluate you. You set somehow the pattern how to handle this situation. So if your guidance fails, the team has no anchor, they would be more confused by this situation. You raise your head and enter with your new gained confidence the room.
A small light by the working computer is the only light that illumines the room. Emily is turning her head towards you. She smiles.
"Hey Hotch."
"Hey."
You move next to Emily's chair and watch JJ, how she is lying there, sleeping. The sound of the machines, the beeping and hissing of the ventilator are the only sounds you hear. Even the beeping of the heart monitor is less noisy. You can see she has a central I.V. line now. The amounts of medication and infusion bags let you look away. You turn your look down to JJ again. She is even paler as yesterday. Her skin is slightly shimmering yellow. She really looks bad and sick. You step forward to her bed and take her hand and gently stroke it.
"Hey JJ, I'm here now."
You have to swallow. After a few moments you let her hand go and move around the bed for the other chair.
"How are you, Prentiss." You look into her eyes.
"I'm ok."
She looks down in her lap. You see how the sadness is drawn over her face. After a few moments she looks up again and your eyes meet. You smile faintly. A smile played on her lips too. You look over to JJ.
"I talked to Dr. Kassanoff earlier."
You pause. You turn your head towards Emily again. She is staring at you, full of expectations.
"You didn't talk to him?" You are a little bit confused about Emily's look.
"No, no, I also talked to him, but I expected some new information, because our conversation were quite short. What I knew I told you on the phone."
"Right. Well, he filled me in what JJ's condition is right now. I asked him what we have to expect the next 24 hours. He said it is hard to tell, but either JJ will lose her liver function completely or she will have some positive progress, but until tomorrow we don't know that."
"So we have to wait."
"Yes. We have to wait."
You both look to JJ. You let out a sigh and sink a little bit further in to the chair and cross your legs.
You can tell you both are relieved you are not alone.