A/N Thank you for your reviews! I should point out, that I didn't invent this story, I only write the POV of Hotch and invented what is not written in the basic story Pain. Be aware Pain from KDMOSP is the model for this story.

The door falls into the lock. The briefcase in your right and your keys in your left hand you head for your car. The central locking switch open and you get inside. You pull out of the driveway on the street to head to the hospital. You feel rested, you finally slept a little bit. You were too exhausted to be a help for anyone. Day five of JJ's fight, you think. Yesterday was finally the day, the turning point. JJ was getting better. Her kidneys were back to normal and her liver lab was in a positive progress. She isn't out of the woods yet, but JJ is obviously fighting. You are grateful for that. You eventual are feeling the fear in your stomach fades away. You sigh mentally.

The parking lot of the hospital is almost full, thankfully it doesn't rain today, you smirk. After some minutes you reach the entrance of the medical center. The way to the ICU is too familiar you think as you wait for the elevator. After the buzzing sound of the ICU door, you push it open and walk by the nurse station to say hello. Knock knock. You open gently the door to JJ's room. The well-known sounds of the machines are making their way to your mind. The room is enlightened by the sun from the window. It lays a warm mood in the room.

"Hey Hotch, man you really look better!" Morgan smirks.

"There you go Hotch, I told you so. " Rossi teases.

You chuckle and shake your head, as you think about the little fight you had yesterday. The two men almost shove you out of the ICU room, to get you home and some sleep. They insisted that you were too exhausted to help. You had to admit you were really tired. The only reason why you gave in, was that JJ was stable.

Your eyes narrow to JJ and you frown.

"How is she doing?"

You watch JJ, lying there, still being ventilated, pale and still with a yellow shimmer.

"She is doing ok, Dr. Kassanoff told us the lab results will come back at about 9 o'clock. Then, we know what is going on." Rossi informs you.

You continue watching JJ, as your hands are holding the end of the bed frame. Silence settles in. You feel the sun on your skin and close your eyes for a moment. No suspense. No burning fear. You sigh and take a chair to sit down.

##

"Thank you sir."

You nod, put your wallet back into your pocket and follow Prentiss through the cafeteria to a table. The smell of the coffee makes you feel calm, it soothes you. As you sit down, you glance at Emily. She looks at some point outside the window. She seems to be distant. You take a sip of your coffee and look down at the cup. It is afternoon. Reid and Garcia are with JJ now. The doctor told you this morning, that JJ is making a good progress. The lab shows better results than before. You're feeling reassured. There is no touch and go anymore. It was very nerve-wracking, too nerve-wracking for your taste the last days. She still hasn't wake up yet, but Dr. Kassanoff told you this could take time. Her metabolic system has to be in some kind of normal state again, until she will wake up.

You take another sip of your coffee, you look to Emily. She is fidgeting with her cup. You can feel she has something on her mind.

"What's bothering you, Prentiss?"

She looks up to you, she is biting her lip while she narrows her eyes again.

"I don't know." She pauses. "I was thinking about how JJ will react when she is waking up."

You know to what Emily refers. You look down at your hands, as she is looking at you again. JJ was on her rock bottom. Some people regret their suicide attempt, but some people don't. You are still feeling guilty to let this happen to JJ. You know you swore to yourself to make it up to her.

"When she will wake up, we will be there for her, what ever it takes, and what ever will happen."

You look up to Emily and make eye contact. For a few minutes you two are just sitting there staring into nothingness. Finally you stop your thoughts, that are running through your mind.

"Lets go back."

"Yeah."

#

Garcia's bubbly voice is already to hear as you open the door to JJ's room. She is reading some new fashion magazine to JJ. You chuckle and smile. Reid shots you a smiling glance. You nod to him and make your way to the window.

"Oh Pen, is that the new one? Aaww let me see it!"

Prentiss is immediately by Garcia's side and the two women exchanging some facts.

You shake your head and turn to Reid.

"How are you doing Reid?"

"Uh, just fine, I think. I was reading the eighth book actually for today."

He smirks. You cannot help and smile. But the relaxed situation changes. Suddenly you see JJ moving. Her chest is heaving more than normal, somehow as she is struggling with something. The chitchat in the room stops right away. Everybody is staring at JJ. The heart monitor is blaring, so does the ventilator machine ring off in an alarm. JJ is turning her head from one side to the other.

"Oh god, what is happening?" Garcia exclaims.

You don't know what's causing JJ to move around.

"I think she is waking up."

You finally say and make a step forward to the bed. Garcia is about to touch JJ, but none of you is quick enough to hinder what is happening next. JJ's arm is moving to her head, her eyes are still closed. At the same moment the nurse is rushing into the room.

"Noo!", the nurse calls out.

But it's too late. JJ has yanked out her breathing tube.

"Oh dear, that was not good!", she is hitting the call button and turns to your team, "Please step aside we have to fix this!"

The nurse is now working on high speed. She is gripping the breathing bag from aside the bed and connects the oxygen to the bag. JJ is now heaving her chest again, it seems as she doesn't get enough air in her lungs, she is agitated, her eyes still closed. The whole scenery is breaking your heart. Your chest tightens. The doctor and another nurse are running into the room. You see your team making eye contact with you as they leave the room to make some space for the staff to work. You prefer to stay at your place at the window, you have to, you decide you don't disturb anyone by standing there aside.

"What happened?"

Dr. Kassanoff is now at the bedhead and is beginning to lower it. He puts the breathing mask over JJ's mouth. But she is still agitated and fights Dr. Kassanoff. You cross your arms in front of your chest, as you watch what is going on in front of you. The still unconscious JJ is now held down be one nurse, as the doctor tries to get some oxygen in JJ's lungs.

"You got the Propofol?"

The other nurse is filling a syringe with a white milky liquid.

"Yes, it is ready now."

She is connecting the syringe with one I.V. line and pushes slowly the medication into JJ's body.

You watch JJ, her face covered with the breathing mask, hold by Dr. Kassanoff. You see her body struggling under the fierce hold of the nurse. The heart monitor is still going crazy. You see the concerned looks of the medical staff and you frown. You feel that fear again, it is growing in your stomach. Again. No! You don't want to live through this again. You tense up. You feel unease again and your hands move across your face. Sighing, you put your hands on your hips. Finally you can see JJ is calming down. Her struggling ends.

"Propofol is working. Get the intubation set ready."

The doctor instructs one of the nurses. You watch as medical equipment is prepared while Dr. Kassanoff is pushing the breathing bag and gripping the mask tightly over JJ's face to ventilate her.

She is limb. Motionless. Another medication is filled in a syringe and the doctor stops the ventilation. You can tell he is about to intubate JJ again, you see this silver shining hook thing. The doctor is gently placing the silver metal in JJ's mouth and throat.

"Tube please" he orders, while his gaze is not shifting from its position. You can tell he is looking into JJ's throat. You saw that before, last time in JJ's apartment. You feel your heart sink. The doctor is now placing gently the breathing tube into JJ's throat, removes the silver metal hook * and connects the breathing bag with the tube. He puts his stethoscope on her chest while he is pushing the breathing bag. He is checking her lungs.

"Ok we are in, both sides are ventilated."

You watch the nurse fix the breathing tube to JJ's mouth. The doctor replaces the bag with the tubes from the ventilator as the other nurse puts some settings in the ventilator machine. The heart monitor is silent now. Dr. Kassanoff sighs and finally turns to you. Putting his stethoscope around his neck he speaks to you.

"Sorry you have to watch this. It is quite scary for laymen."

"No, it is ok. I wanted to stay. I feel responsible for her."

The doctor smiles faintly.

"Well, what happened? Agent Jareau is starting to wake up. During the waking process, some patients are not conscious enough to communicate. There are some stages of consciousness. She was in one, where rudimentary defense movements exist. So she is aware there is something in her throat that doesn't belong there, so she yanks it out. Normally we can prevent that. It obviously happened so fast, that nobody was able to stop her. We gave her a sedative to intubate her again. Her breathing was not sufficient enough on her own."

You nod. You fixated your glare on the doctor the whole time.

"What will happen next?" You ask.

"We hope she will regain consciousness in the next 48 hours. After that we will see how she is doing."

"When will she be able to get off the ventilator?"

"Well, it depends how her breathing will work. Right now she wasn't able to get enough oxygen in her lungs by herself. But I think as soon as she is awake and can communicate, we will try to extubate her."

One nurse is rejoining the room with some hand restraining cuffs. You frown.

"What are you doing?"

You make a step towards the nurse and stare at her. You can tell she is a little bit scared of you.

"Agent Hotchner, we have to restrain Agent Jareau to prevent that she will yank out her breathing tube again."

You turn to Dr. Kassanoff who spoke to you.

"Is that really necessary?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. It is for her own safety."

You grunt inwardly.

"Alright. Go ahead."

You step aside and let the nurses go to JJ's bed. You watch them, as they gently lift JJ's wrists into the cuff and buckle it. They fluff up the pillow and gently place it under JJ's head. One of the nurse is stroking the hair out of JJ's face.

"There you go honey, now get some rest."

She smiles at you and makes her way out of the room, together with the other nurse. You watch Dr. Kassanoff make some notes in the working computer and the chart nearby. Your eyes switch to JJ while you step to the bed. You take JJ's hand and stroke it. She looks peaceful, as nothing happened. You slightly shake your head and look down to your hands, that are engulfing JJ's. You can tell the fear is fading away, fortunately. You let out a sigh and ease up, letting the tense go, that was built.

'There you go, much better', you think.

You look up to JJ again.

'We will get you through this Jennifer, hang in there!'

A/N

* This silver metal shiny thing is called laryngoscope and helps the doctor to see the vocal cords in your larynx (voice box) and the trachea (windpipe), because the doctor has to see where he puts the tube. The other possibility is the stomach, but to ventilate your stomach isn't that much healthy :)