TARDIS
Buffy and Spike ran to stand behind the strange black cube that had zapped the tenth Doctor and Faith. "Where's the Doctor?" Buffy demanded.
The fourth Doctor raised his hand to answer Buffy. "I'm right here," he replied. When Buffy just glared at him, he added sheepishly, "Oh... you meant the other one." He took off his hat, folded it, and stuffed it in an outside pocket of his long jacket. "To answer your question, I think the other me and Faith are in here somewhere," he said while tapping on the data matrix with his sonic screwdriver. When the port concealing the beam emitter slid open again, everyone hurried to stand anywhere other than in front of the menacing cube.
From safely behind the cube, Sarah Jane motioned for the remaining Doctor to stand next to her. He edged around the safety railing to stand where she had indicated. "What happened to them, Doctor?" she asked, her journalist habits always on the alert.
The Doctor leaned from side to side as he inspected the data matrix for any other concealed ports. "I saw a similar beam emmitter back on Gallifrey during a field trip while I was at the academy," he replied. "We were studying past High Council Presidents, so Borusa thought it would be a good idea to set up a secure file destination inside one of the sub-routines. Once inside the matrix, we were able to speak with the data ghosts of the past presidents directly," he explained.
"Sorry I asked," Sarah Jane muttered. She looked over at Spike and Buffy. "Does he get any better at explaining things in the future?" she asked hopefully. The Summers shook their heads in a definite no. "I suppose it would be too much to ask for," Sarah Jane sighed.
The Doctor ignored his Companion and continued to look at the cube. "The first thing we need to do to retrieve myself and his Companion from this matrix is render this blasted thing harmless," he said to no one in particular. He snapped his long fingers at pointed at Sarah Jane. "Your makeup mirror, quickly," he demanded, snapping his fingers several more times.
Sarah Jane pulled out her makeup mirror from her skirt pocket and handed it over to the Doctor. "Here you go, Doctor," she said, glad to help. He took the makeup mirror from her, snapped the mirror half off with a quick motion, and handed her back the makeup half. Sarah Jane looked around and put the broken half she was holding down on the console, not wanting to put the loose makeup back in her skirt.
"Now all I need is something with adhesive properties," the fourth Doctor said to himself looking around. "Even a slight bit of adhesiveness will work on the outside skin of a TARDIS matrix," he added. Spike took the piece of gum he had been chewing out of his mouth and offered it to the Doctor. The fourth Doctor looked down at the offered bit of gum and forced a smile onto his face. "That's quite generous of you, Spike, but I prefer fruit flavored gum over spearmint. Thank you anyway," he told Spike graciously.
Spike sighed loudly and snatched the mirror out of the fourth Doctor's hands. He made a point of slowly sticking the gum on the edge of the mirror and then sticking the mirror over the cube's emitter port. When he was done, Spike stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest.
The fourth Doctor looked down at the mirror which was holding in place perfectly and then up to Spike. "Are you sure you're not me as well?" he inquired. "That was quite clever," he praised. Rubbing his hands together, he looked at both Buffy and Spike. "Now then, either of you any good at hacking?" he asked.
Buffy and Spike smiled at each other. "With swords and axes, we're great at hacking," Buffy replied.
"With computers, not so much so," Spike finished Buffy's thought.
Buffy's face lit up as an idea hit her. "But we do know someone who is," she said happily. Buffy took out her "universal roaming" mobile phone the Doctor had modified for her and placed a call.
While Buffy waited for someone to answer, Sarah Jane looked at the phone quizzically. "Doctor, what kind of communication device is that?" she inquired.
The fourth Doctor smiled at his Companion's ever curious nature. "That is a mobile telephone. Judging from their clothes, I would guess our new friends are from some when near the end of the 20th century," he told Sarah Jane. "In less than 30 years from when we first met, nearly everybody in the developed countries on your planet will have one," he stated.
Sarah Jane shook her head in disbelief. "I can't imagine a life where I need to be in constant phone contact," she muttered.
The fourth Doctor chuckled. "That's what everyone said at first, but within ten years of them hitting the market on mass, your species grew to be dependent on the things," he stated. Their conversation was interrupted when someone finally answered Buffy's call.
"Hello," Willow said, her voice strained.
Buffy could tell that her longtime friend had been crying. "Wills, what's wrong?" Buffy asked.
"Oh... hey, Buffy," Willow replied. "Kennedy and I broke up," she stated, trying not to break out in sobs again. "It was a pretty big blow up," she said.
Buffy was torn between two lines of thought. On one hand, she hated to see her friend upset. On the other, Buffy really hated Kennedy and was secretly glad she and Willow weren't together anymore. "Double chocolate swirl bad, or Swiss mocha with mini-marshmallows blended in bad?" she inquired.
Willow sniffed twice before responding. "I'm on my second pint of 'Chunky Monkey' bad," she replied.
"Damn!" Buffy swore. "Listen, I think I have something that will take your mind off that stuck up bitch," she offered. "The Doctor and Faith got sucked into a Time Lord computer and an earlier Doctor needs help hacking into it," she explained.
Willow's tears stopped almost instantly. "The Doctor's in trouble? Must be Thursday," she joked while dashing around her room, grabbing components she would need for a special teleport spell.
Buffy laughed despite their situation. "Yeah, now that you mention it, that does seem to be how he and Faith spend most of their time," she agreed. "Grab whatever you need to hack into this thing, the ice cream, and two extra spoons," she ordered. "Considering the past couple of days I've had, I could use some sugary goodness," she stated.
"OK, got the stuff," Willow told Buffy. "Put your phone down in a clear area and I'll teleport through the signal," she instructed. Buffy walked down the catwalk a bit and put her phone down. She took several steps back when red and orange lights started to swirl above the catwalk. The lights swam and danced around the phone and then rushed together in a brilliant flash of white light. When the light faded, Willow stood over the phone with her laptop tucked under one arm and the ice cream under the other. In her right hand she held an African totem doll and in her left were three spoons. Buffy rushed forward and gave Willow a comforting hug.
Spike stepped forward once Buffy let go. He put a friendly hand on Willow's shoulder. His vampire hearing had picked up on both sides of the phone conversation. "Wish I could say I was sorry that you and the stupid bint broke up, but truth is I never liked her to begin with," he admitted.
Willow put her hand on his and smiled at him, thankful for his support, even if he was a little shy on tact. She stepped closer to the center console when she realized there were other people with them. "Um... hi, I'm Willow," she said waving her hand.
"Hello, I'm Sarah Jane smith and this is the Doctor," she said, introducing herself and her version of the Doctor. "How did you get here?" she asked.
Willow tried to smile and almost succeeded. "I'm a witch. I used a spell to teleport here," she said blandly.
The fourth Doctor's face lit up. "A witch who also happens to be good at hacking?" he asked rhetorically. "Now this promises to be interesting," he told the group.
Sarah Jane was about to ask Willow what she meant by witch, but was sidetracked by Willow's next question. "Sarah Jane Smith? As in the famous investigative reporter, Sarah Jane Smith?" Willow asked in awe. Ever since she had learned about the weird stuff in Sunnydale and consequently the rest of the world, Willow had made it a point to find out which journalists she could rely on to tell the truth when it came to "odd" stories. Sarah Jane Smith was at the top of her list.
Sarah Jane blushed a bit. "I wouldn't say famous," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "I've only just begun my career," she told Willow.
The fourth Doctor saw Willow's confused expression. "I picked up Sarah Jane in 1973," he explained.
Buffy had never heard of Sarah Jane, but then again, she spent most of her time killing vampires and demons which left little time for reading. She looked closer at Sarah Jane and saw the young reporters eyes grow huge. Buffy followed her stare and started to chuckle when she saw Sarah Jane was looking at the ice cream container. "No, no... no monkeys were harmed in the making of this ice cream. It's only a funny name," she assured her. "In our time, it's used to deal with particularly bad break ups," she added.
Sarah Jane let out a sigh of relief and then took an offered spoon. After tasting the ice cream, she nodded in appreciation. "I can see how this would help. It's very rich," she stated. Sarah Jane waited for her turn again as Buffy and Willow dug in, sharing in Willow's heartache.
The fourth Doctor started to raise his hand to point at the women, but Spike gently pushed it back down. "It's a woman thing, we're not meant to understand," Spike said. "When you and I first meet, you're over 900 years old and you still can't make heads or tails of how a woman thinks," he told the younger version of his friend.
Once the pint of Chunky Monkey had been scraped clean, Willow walked over to the fourth Doctor. She opened up her laptop and placed it on the center console next to him. "I had some thoughts while I was eating and wanted to see what you think about them," she said rapidly in full tech geek mode.
********DrW********
TARDIS Data Matrix - Information Desert
Faith squinted at the light that was growing ever closer. After a moment, she was able to tell that the light was actually two separate lights. The tenth Doctor noticed how Faith shifted her balance, ready for a fight. "You know, Faith, there's always a chance that whatever is making those lights might not be hostile towards us," he told her reproachfully. Faith turned her head slightly and gave him a look that told him exactly what she thought about that. The Doctor shook his head and turned to look at the lights as well. "Statistically speaking, it's bound to happen one of these days," he said hopefully.
Even the Doctor found himself shifting to a defensive posture when he was finally able to make two menacing ships gliding over the plain towards them. The "ships" were shaped like giant staples with two long legs pointed towards the ground. A wide body sat between the legs. Both ships were black with angry green energy lines highlighting them. Once the ships got close to them, the Doctor estimated they would be about three stories tall in the physical universe. That thought combined with how unfriendly they looked made him slap his forehead. The Doctor spun around and grabbed Faith's arm. "I'm getting forgetful and thick in my old age," he complained. "I've been in a place like this so many times before, I forgot that you probably haven't," he told Faith. "We're inside the TARDIS data matrix we recovered," he stated. "Right now we are digital representations of ourselves," he explained.
Faith kept her eyes on the crafts that had stopped in front of them. The "bodies" of the staples began to slowly descend with the legs acting like rails. "Let me guess, die in the digital world and you die in the physical world," she said humorlessly.
The Doctor ran his hand through his messy hair. "Yeah... um... the Time Lords in charge of the data matrices thought it would discourage frivolous use of them," he replied. "Now that I think about it, probably not the best design for the users," he admitted.
The Doctor seemed to relax a small bit when what looked like several Judoon troopers in full, black armor piled out of the two ships. Once they were within in ear shot, the Doctor called out, "Blow... snow...mow...go...flow!"
One of the lead soldiers in the rhino shaped helmets turned to look at the soldier on his left. "Do you have any idea of what he just said?" he asked.
The second soldier shrugged his shoulders. "No clue, perhaps his I/O sub-routine is faulty," he offered.
Faith snickered while her boyfriend looked slightly embarrassed. "Universal programing language. Should have thought of that," the Doctor muttered under his breath.
The first digital Judoon unclipped a scanner like device from his waist and pointed it at Faith. A green beam spread out and covered Faith from head to toe. After a short time, the beam shot off and the soldier looked at the readings. "Hum... looks like this one's function is some sort of complex anti-virus program. A real killer if you ask me," he told the second digital Judoon.
The second Judoon let out a low whistle when he looked at the readings as well. "I'm going to enjoy watching this one in the games," he said appreciatively.
The first digital Judoon pointed the scanner at the Doctor and the green beam swept over him. The scanner immediately started flashing a bright mauve. "This one gets to go see the Controller right away," he stated.
Faith stepped forward and balled her fists at her sides. "Like hell the Doctor's going anywhere without me," she threatened.
The squad of digital Judoon took two measured steps backwards. Faith was about to charge them, but she was stopped by the Doctor's hand on her wrist. She looked at his face and he gestured towards the ships with his chin. Faith looked up and saw gun ports had been opened and several unpleasant looking weapons were pointed at them. She was fairly certain she could probably dodge the guns long enough to get into the middle of the digital Judoons, but she doubted the Doctor would be able to do the same. With a nod of her head, Faith relaxed her hands and took a step back as well.
The Judoons split apart and half led Faith to one staple shaped ship while the rest led the Doctor to the other one. As the Doctor stepped onto the rising platform, the second Judoon leaned over to talk with the one holding the scanner. "So what type of program rates an immediate audience with the Controller?" he inquired.
The first digital Judoon scratched the side of his helmet. "Not really sure. I can't make heads or tails of these readings," he admitted. The first Judoon handed the scanner to the second.
The second digital Judoon tilted the scanner from side to side as he tried to make sense of the readings himself. "Got me," he said and handed the scanner back. "Kind of looks like an outdated operating system to me," he offered.
The Doctor looked first stunned and then very angry at those words. "Outdated? I'll have you know I'm in the prime of my life!" he shouted indignantly.
The Doctor sulked silently during their flight over the barren Information Desert. He dropped his hostile attitude once the pair of ships flew over a wall bordering a huge, digital city. The Doctor pressed his face against the window and recognized the layout of the beautiful city immediately. It was a digital representation of the capital city of Gallifrey. Just like in the physical world, the majestic Citadel sat in the exact center of the city flanked on six sides by the six Academy chapters. A nostalgic smile crept across his face as he made out the buildings that made up the Prydonian Chapter where he had spent most of his school days. The only major difference in the city he could see was that where the Cruciform had stood in the physical world, a giant amphitheater now stood instead. The Doctor forced himself to calm down when he saw the other ship break off and take Faith towards the amphitheater.
The ship the Doctor was on banked once and then rose in altitude quickly. The Doctor wasn't all that surprised when they landed near the top of the Citadel at what had been the High Council's private landing pad. He allowed himself to be led into a large chamber with video displays taking up all of the wall space. A large throne on what looked like a rotating base sat in the exact center of the room. His digital captors pushed him gently into the room and then left, shutting the door behind them.
"I knew that you would eventually come, Doctor," a female voice said from the throne. "You always were such a sucker for a distress call," she added sarcastically. The throne turned slowly, letting the Doctor look at the Controller. She was an attractive woman wearing a crimson bodysuit with green energy highlights. Her brown hair hung just below her shoulders. Tremendous intelligence flashed behind her brown eyes. She gave the Doctor one of her most charming smiles.
The Doctor forced a smile on his own face, even though he wanted to throttle the woman in front of him. "Hello, Rani," he said coldly.