Disclaimer: No I most definitely do not own Harry Potter:(

Chapter 8

When Hermione arrived back at the Gryffindor common room she collapsed into one of the squishy armchairs. She was shaking and the other Gryffindors in the room were shooting her strange looks. She focused on relaxing each of her muscles one by one and gradually the shaking ceased.

She didn't know what to make of the time she had spent in the library with Malfoy but she did know one thing; he had not been the arrogant asshole she knew and hated. In their brief conversation during the evening he had been polite and engaging. Despite the story he had told her earlier in the week, she had not expected there to be any truly drastic changes to his personality. She was beginning to suspect that the bully had never truly been him but merely the cold-hearted result of a difficult childhood that forced prejudice after prejudice onto him. She was not used to thinking this way about Malfoy and it scared her. She wanted him to be someone she could hate, someone she would have no reason to forgive. But he wasn't, not anymore. But no matter what, she still had nightmare after nightmare of the Manor, the room, the knife, the chandelier. She could not forget.

There was a sharp tap-tap on the window and she saw Ron's owl Pidwidgeon staring in at her from outside. She moved to the window and opened it, feeling guilty as she did so for she had been practically ignoring her friends since coming back to school. She had promised to write to them often but she hadn't been able to put the words onto parchment.

Her relationship with Ron had not continued after the war. They were both to broken from their experiences. Fred's death had deeply affected him and neither he nor she wanted a relationship at that time. They had also realised that they were not as suited to one another as they had once supposed. They had remained best friends and she was thankful for the lack of awkwardness, but she knew they weren't right for each other as a couple.

She slit open the letter he had sent her and began to read.

Dear Hermione

I haven't heard from you in ages! How's Hogwarts? Are the professors keeping you on your toes? I bet you're working your ass off but make sure you don't get too stressed without me and Harry there to calm you down.

I'm doing quite well. I started my auror training and it's tough work. Of course Harry's aceing everything, but I think he's getting a bit fed up with the deferential treatment. I know that once I would have been jealous of him but I grew out of that a long time ago, and now I can see that he is really not enjoying it (see Hermione, I don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon). Of course I get some notice now for being part of the "Golden Trio" but it's nothing to his. He can't go through a day without at least two marriage proposals (don't tell Ginny) and at the last count he has at least three known stalkers. It's crazy.

Please write back soon. It's not the same without you. . Ron

P.s. This is Harry. I hope your year is going well and no one is giving you trouble. Send all the details back with Pidwidgeon. Hope to see you soon. Oh and also send the date of the next Hogsmeade weekend and we might be able to meet you then

Hermione sighed as she finished the letter from her friends. She missed them. It was weird being back at Hogwarts without them. She was used to being part of a trio, unshakable, but without them she had never felt more alone.

She decided to answer the letter in the morning as it late and she was tired after her hectic day. She made her way up to the girl's dorm but when she opened the door she saw Parvati sitting on her bed, a black look on her face.

"So" she said with a snarl "here's the little traitor." This brought Hermione up short. Yes, the other girl had become bitter and catty but she rarely attacked Hermione herself head on anymore with no prior warning or provocation.

"What are you talking about Parvati?"

"You know full well what I'm talking about. Do you think I didn't see you and that Slytherin bastard in the library? I saw you; calmly sitting across from the piece of scum who sucked up to Voldemort, only coming back and pleading for forgiveness when he knew that his side had no chance. Perhaps a few months is all it takes for you to forget what he did, perhaps you don't care about the lives lost, but I care Granger. You're no heroine, as much as you might consider yourself one. You're a coward who can't stand on her own two feet her henchmen here to support her." Parvati was out of breath and red in the face when she had finished speaking and she was glaring accusingly at Hermione.

She opened her mouth to try and reply, to explain, to justify. But she couldn't find the words. Everything that Parvati had said was true. She was weak. She couldn't stand up for what she believed in without people there to back her up. After all, it had only taken a few words from Malfoy and she had all but forgotten seven years of torment.

The tears began to form in her eyes and a lump in her throat felt as if it was suffocating her.

"Don't cry Granger" said Parvati scornfully "it only makes you look even weaker, believe me".

At that Hermione turned and fled the room, the tears making her mascara run down her face in black torrents and soak into her collar, staining it a dark grey.

Her feet led her to the kitchens. Since the war the house-elves, already well treated at Hogwarts, had been given more freedom and rights. When they realised that they actually liked this new found freedom Hermione had become a heroine for them and at this moment she just needed to talk to someone who did not expect anything form her, she had already done all she could for them and now they could go it alone, and would not judge her.

When she had reached the painting of the bowl of fruit, tickled the pear and turned the doorknob to enter the kitchen she was met by the homely chattering of the squeaky voices belonging to the house-elves.

Immediately they all crowded around the distraught Hermione. The pulled her up a chair and placed it at one of the long tables and one of them, named Star, placed a bowl of ice-cream in front of her. The rest of the house-elves moved off then but Star stayed, rubbing soothing circles on Hermione's back.

"What's wrong Miss Hermione" she asked. Hermione had tried to get them to call her by her first name but Miss Hermione was as close as she could get.

She sighed. "I'm weak Star" she replied. "Everyone thinks that I'm the great Hermione Granger, one of the Golden Trio, the bookworm, the Know-It-All. They think that I always have all the answers but I don't. Oh go to Hermione they say, she'll know what to do, didn't she found the DA, isn't she best friends with Harry Potter. But I make mistakes and I think this time I've made a catastrophic one".

She slammed her fist down on the table in frustration, shattering the bowl and sending runny ice-cream flying everywhere.

"Oh I'm sorry Star" she cried. It's all right Miss, no harm done" said the house-elf as she snapped her long fingers and vanished the remains of both bowl and ice-cream.

"Now Miss Hermione, I must say that you is not weak! It takes a strong person to do what you did for house-elves and I know that that is only a small portion of all the good deeds you has done." Star paused. "But people are not made to be eternally strong. You is allowed to be weak, it is not something to be ashamed of. You must take the pressure off yourself Miss or you will break beneath it. People should not be expecting more of you than you can give. And as for mistakes, we all make them and sometimes what looks like a mistake at the time turns out for the best in the end" Star gave Hermione one final pat on the back before moving away. "I must get back to work now Miss but as always you is free to stay as long as you please and if you need anything just call. And do think about what I have said" At that Star disappeared among the crowd of busy house-elves on the other side of the kitchen.

Hermione stayed there for several hours and then left feeling more uplifted than she had in days.

Authors Note: Sorry for not updating in a couple of days, I've been really busy and I got sick so I wasn't really in the mood for writing. I pretty much spent the last couple of days curled up in a ball with a hot water bottle trying to get some work done. I hope this chapter makes up for it. Please tell me what you think:)

ShHpBookworm xxx