Author's Notes: Fastest I've updated in awhile. :) Hope you enjoy the new chapter. Constructive Criticism is always welcomed.
Ceteris Paribus
Chapter Eleven: As if You Have Everything to Lose
Mako did her best to bite back a smile as Kotoha let off yet another little sigh of impatience. Her little sister's legs all but bounced off the floor as they tried to rid her of her anticipation.
"He'll be here soon," Mako assured her, her eyes focused on the game board as she moved her piece into a better defensive position.
Kotoha looked startled for a moment before flushing prettily and ducking her head. She turned to watch as Takeru selected his piece and moved it confidently across the board. She watched, fascinated, as Mako deliberated for a quiet minute before, with a striking smile, moved her piece.
"Ha! Got you this time!" Mako was all smiles as she looked up at her playing partner.
Kotoha was stunned when a small smile of his own lit upon Takeru's face. Mako too seemed momentarily startled, her eyes fixated on that little quirk of the lips.
Feeling their stares, Takeru's smile turned into an anxious line as his confused and wary eyes darted back and forth between the pair.
"Oh, it's gone," Kotoha spoke out loud.
"What's gone?" Chiaki asked as he opened the door with the barest hint of a knock, as impatient as ever.
Kotoha beamed as he strode closer, all but lighting up the room with her smile alone. "Mako beat Takeru in Agnitio this time," she reported.
Chiaki blinked, unsure how to respond.
"And when Mako got excited about it, since she's been on a losing streak lately –"
"Hey!"
" – she smiled at Takeru and he smiled back! I think that's the first time either of us have seen him smile, since Mako was startled by it too."
Chiaki's brow rose as he looked over at the two board game players, both of whom were now sitting awkwardly at the table together and doing their best not to meet anyone's eyes. "I see."
If he hadn't already been largely clued in to most of the situation, he knew he would have found this pairing not only highly unlikely but probably vastly disturbing – or tragic for its forbidden plausibility. He sighed quietly to himself. In its own right, it was still forbidden – in more ways than one, but why bother voicing that aloud when everyone was more than well-aware of it already. Forcing the problems he knew this would create into the spotlight would only hinder their mission.
Besides, he knew all too well about relationships that were never supposed to be.
He glanced at the petite, boundlessly happy young woman beside him and felt himself being torn in two inside for the umpteenth time that day, let alone that week.
It was going to be hell on all of them when this assignment was over. It was best to enjoy what time they had left before everything fell to pieces around them – if they even survived, of course.
"You mentioned wanting take a walk this evening?" He prompted, trying to distract his own thoughts.
Kotoha hesitated. "Are you finished with your other duties today?"
"Yep, I'm all yours." He flushed as the words left his mouth, mortified at their blatantly open meaning. Chiaki was rewarded, however, by Kotoha's bright eyes and full smile.
"Let's go!" She announced, all too eager to be alone with her crush under the early evening sky as they watched the moon rise.
Recovered from her own embarrassment as she watched the young couple with soft amusement and the slightest bit of envy, Mako rested her cheek in her palm and smiled teasingly. "Take care of her Chiaki, and always remember, I have eyes and ears everywhere." Her smile increased as Chiaki's flush grew, even as his eyes watched her warily.
It was good that he knew she was keeping an eye on them – as her older sister, it was Mako's job to make sure Kotoha was as safe and content as was possible within her power and control. But it was also a reminder that though she didn't mind the breaches in protocol, such as the barely announced entrances or lack of greetings to her as the First Princess, she still held sway in her part of the world, and he had best never let his guard down.
That wasn't to say that she didn't trust Kotoha with Chiaki. It was simply a matter that Mako still wasn't entirely comfortable letting Kotoha out of her sight for long periods of time unless she was with Ryunosuke or some other long-trusted servant.
If anything happened to Kotoha on Chiaki's watch… Well, Mako smiled, she supposed Chiaki would let the one responsible feel her wrath as much as his.
Chiaki's shoulders tensed as Mako's smile only grew as she watched him, her thoughts largely enclosed inside her mind. He still didn't understand how Kotoha could read behind that mask so easily.
"Are you sure it is alright if we leave the two of you alone?" Chiaki asked. "Genta is on duty all night, and I don't know where Ryunosuke is."
Mako waved aside Chiaki's concerns. "Ryunosuke is on a few errands for me that will take him quite some time, yes, but we will be fine. I do not intend to venture out this evening."
"You don't have to venture out for others to find you."
Mako flashed him a piercing look as she studied the young man who was so interested in her little sister and wondered, not for the first or last time, how little he said compared to how much he was privy to. When she caught the look of concern on Kotoha's face, however, she smiled instead. "Then it's a good thing I have Takeru here with me, isn't it? After our last entanglement, he's shown that he is more than capable of handling…surprise situations."
Chiaki watched the First Princess of the Court with sharp eyes. Genta was right, this woman was perhaps too quick for their liking. They had better be careful and watch their steps and words around her; he didn't doubt for a minute that she wouldn't be able to piece all the clues of the puzzle together in an instant.
"Mako? Chiaki?" Kotoha looked between the two, feeling the rising tension in the air.
Mako gave Kotoha a reassuring smile before turning back to the game board and re-arranging the pieces for her next match. "Enjoy your evening Kotoha, your guard has you well in hand."
Kotoha nodded before letting Chiaki lead her out the door, but not without a final glance back at her sister in apprehension.
As Chiaki leaned in to shut the door firmly behind them he made sure to throw Takeru a significant look. Takeru nodded with the barest of head gestures – he hadn't missed that Chiaki had relayed the information that he would be alone with Mako for a couple of hours at least. This would be ample time to set their latest orders into motion, at least in so far as Mako feasibly being the possible target for this particular mission. Genta and Chiaki had already informed the other resistance members to be on the lookout for the suspected members of the court and were keeping their eyes out on a few themselves.
Takeru looked from the now shut door to the table in front of him, noting that Mako was nearly finished setting up the pieces for their next bout.
He wasn't sure where to begin.
How did you start up a conversation about delicate information without seeming callous, rude or intrusive? Especially when your status levels were currently worlds apart.
"While I enjoy our battle of wills," Mako started, breaking the silence. "I would like to propose that we add a new layer to this game tonight." She glanced up to see Takeru's look of curiosity and smiled quietly. "As Chiaki so blatantly pointed out, it is just the two of us this evening for quite some time, and while I do not mind the silence at all, I would like to take advantage of this opportunity to talk with you."
"Aren't you doing that now?"
Mako's smile grew and she looked at him with mischievous eyes. "I prefer talking with you, not at you."
Takeru shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He could admit to himself that it was becoming much more difficult with each passing day to stay silent in front of her when others were around. He had to keep up the pretense of self-imposed silence to protect everyone and what they were fighting for, but the more he was around her, the more relaxed he felt in her presence and the easier it was to forget why he was supposed to be quiet.
It was a precarious situation.
"Is there something particular you had in mind that you wanted to discuss?"
Mako started slightly, surprised that he had been able to pick up on the threads in her mind. "Yes," she answered firmly after a moment, settling the last game piece in its proper spot on the wooden board between them. She laced her fingers together and placed them in her lap, straightening her posture as she met Takeru's eyes with her own.
"I have questions I'd like to ask you. Questions I would like honest answers to." Her gaze did not waver. "These answers are important to me, but I am well aware of how difficult some of them may be for you to answer."
Her fingers clenched slightly in her lap hidden beneath the tabletop. "I am just as sure that you have a few questions of your own for me, questions that will be difficult for me to answer." She smiled quietly when his shoulders tensed – a sign that she had hit the nail on the head. She unclenched her fingers and gestured at the board with her hand.
"With every move that we make on the board we shall ask a question. The one being asked cannot move forward until they have answered it, or risk losing one of their pieces for the price of silence." She tried to look confident but she knew that she was letting anxiety about her own proposed rules show on her face as well. "I hope neither of us have to sacrifice a piece off the board. We've trusted each other with our lives so far, even as veritable strangers. It is past time, perhaps, that we get to know each other."
Mako left out defining exactly what they actually were now that they weren't technically "strangers." She was having an exceedingly difficult time giving a name to it herself and doubted that anyone else was able to either.
Takeru was quiet, contemplating both her body language and her words. What she suggested was exactly the kind of opportunity he had been looking for, but Mako was correct in that the answers given could be as difficult to give as the questions asked.
Finally, a little hesitantly, he nodded.
Mako felt the blood in her veins begin to rush a little faster, but it was now or never. They couldn't turn back now.
"Go ahead, make the first move," Takeru offered. "You won the last bout; you have the right to start this one."
Mako took a deep breath to steady herself before she made her opening play. As the quiet clack of her piece settled in its new place she voiced her first question.
"You and Genta are both from Caelestis Via – Ten no Michi – yes?"
Takeru raked his eyes over the board briefly before selecting his piece. "Yes," he answered before moving it and looking up at her. "I thought you already knew that?"
Mako smiled. "I did, but I wanted to settle it once and for all – hearing it directly from you." She looked at the board. "You have to ask a question before I can move."
Takeru deliberated, hesitant. "The Ladies we encountered the other day, they mentioned a 'horse brat' at one point, this person would be…?"
"They were referring to Kotoha," Mako's eyes grew dark in remembrance, anger flaring in her blood. "Her mother was from a nomadic tribe – quite the beauty from what I have heard. Kotoha's mother was the tribal leader's daughter, a princess in her own right amongst her people. But as you have seen, some believe that Kotoha's only 'real royal lineage' comes from our father." She moved her next piece across the board with a little more force than she had intended. "Ridiculous."
Takeru winced, almost wishing he could take the question back. It was obviously a touchy subject for Mako, but then again, he supposed this entire conversation was going to press on buttons they'd normally feel were best left untouched.
"How do you and Genta know my language?" Mako asked, her voice softer than before, her eyes full of curiosity as she pushed past the flare of anger.
Takeru hesitated, unsure if he should answer or if he would be the first to keep his silence.
"I was taught," he finally conceded after a moment of deliberation. "From a young age." He took his time before selecting his next piece and shifting its position. "Genta learned through his own self-study, his interactions with people, and my help."
"Can you understand my native language?" He questioned her back.
"The language of Ten no Michi?"
"Yes."
Mako frowned slightly. "Not as well as I'd like. I understand a few words, a handful of phrases – we aren't taught much then what is necessary for a high-born Lady. However," her cheeks flared in embarrassment. "I have used my position sometimes to insist that certain things were necessary for me, such as learning how to at least be able to greet others of nearby or important countries." Her grin was sheepish. "They are usually pretty hard-pressed to refuse my requests.
"Was that your question then?"
Takeru gave her a small smile. "I suppose so, yes." It hadn't been his intentional question, just a curiosity, but he wouldn't go back on the rules and try to ask another. "Your move."
Mako studied the board, selected her piece and slid it into place. She hesitated, biting her bottom lip briefly before deciding to plunge in head first. "Are you a common soldier who was put into place to pretend to be captured while the real prince is still out there – somewhere?" Mako gestured toward the window and the world outside it.
He wasn't sure if the question was entirely fair – it had several different layers to it, but he answered as honestly as he could. "No." He moved his piece.
Mako realized her mistake in her questioning when he didn't provide any further information to clarify and grumbled quietly to herself. She still didn't really have an answer.
"Why does Ryunosuke call you 'Hime'?"
"It means 'princess' in his mother's native language – your native language, I believe." She watched as Takeru nodded in confirmation. "She was originally from Ten no Michi before she came here with Ryunosuke. He still maintains a bit of its usage.
"I picked up a lot of what I know from your language from him, actually. If you have more questions on that particular subject though, I would prefer if you asked him directly."
Takeru shook his head and they resumed play.
"Y-your scars," Mako stammered with a soft voice, her shoulders tensing. "How did you get them?"
Takeru grimaced and his eyes stayed fixed on the board. "Which ones?"
"All of them…any of them."
Takeru sighed quietly inside and he tried to pick his words carefully. "Some are from training, stupid mistakes, battle." He glanced up to see her watching him intently. His voice dropped. "Some are from when I was caught and…after."
"After?"
He nodded. "My handlers felt my silence was an act of defiance – which it was and still is. But they also felt I should be…re-educated for my new…position." He watched the color drain from Mako's face and wished he could take his words back.
As her eyes fell, her hands slid up to her elbows, hugging her arms to herself as if trying to ward off a sudden chill. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be. I'm sure you didn't even know I was here until I was…presented to you, let alone the kind of care given to enemies caught in the midst of battle."
"That's not entirely true."
Takeru kept his counsel his curiosity piqued and waited for her to gather her thoughts and put them into words.
Mako stood up from the table, walking away from it and stopping in front of the window, suddenly feeling the need for fresh air. "I've never been down their personally, but I've heard the rumors." Her gaze drifted to the outside world. "I've heard the gossip amongst and from the servants. I might even be able to do something about it if I tried."
"It probably wouldn't do any good," Takeru cut in, feeling the need to rid the shadows growing behind her eyes. "Kingdoms, countries, tribes…they all have their own ways of dealing with criminals – it's something that has been going on long before we were born, and will probably continue long after we pass. It's unfortunate but it's reality."
"That doesn't mean I have to agree with it."
"No," he acquiesced. "But it does bring up the question of why you would go so far to even consider a war criminals comfort. Why is it that someone in your position talks to those who serve you like equals? You were raised in a country that does not hold that ideal in any form outside of what it can gain for the individual wielding that leniency."
Mako's smile was bitter as her eyes watched the sun setting outside the window. The dark red of the sun's last glow slipping behind the deep violet and midnight blue of night. "Are you asking if I have ulterior motives to treating Kotoha as a sister of equal status? Or Ryunosuke as a long-time confidante? Or are you asking why I treat a war criminal, now a named slave, as a human being?"
Takeru waited, letting the silence build until Mako sighed deeply, her shoulders sagging in what almost looked like defeat.
"I suppose I should have expected to see that question coming…" Mako's eyes stared out to the horizon, seeing much more than the setting sun and its brilliant array of colors. "I treat Kotoha like a precious little sister because she is one. I treat Ryunosuke like a childhood friend because he is one. I treat you like a person who matters because you are one. I can't explain why beyond that."
She sighed again, her head leaning back to rest against the window's edge. "If you're asking for ulterior motives then my answer is this: don't we all have one in some fashion?
"I don't get along with my other siblings or 'family' members as you yourself have witnessed. They hold too much of my father's ideals." She shrugged. "Perhaps I have more of my mother in me. But it's also probably from Ryunosuke's mother who watched out for me before she passed and then Ryunosuke after her. His mother loved us and tried to raise us with her ideals, her love and support. Ryunosuke has continued this.
"I don't have many friends here. I am considered…peculiar to most." Her smile was crooked. "I think even the servants consider me an amusing oddity most of the time." She shrugged off her thoughts.
"I love Kotoha and Ryunosuke. They're my family; I don't want to lose them. And so, I will do whatever it takes to protect them. As for you," she glanced briefly at him, a crease forming between her brows as she did so, "I'm not sure when it started. To be perfectly honest, I was less than pleased that you had been placed into my keeping at first. I thought you might be one of father's tricks, a way to get someone on the inside."
"Do you think the same now?"
Mako shook her head. "No," her voice was soft. She looked up when she heard him move, the grace with which he did so never seemed to stop surprising her. She studied him for a long time, gathering her courage.
When she finally spoke, her voice was quieter than before. A sound that would only reach his ears. "Are you Shiba Takeru? The prince of Ten no Michi?" She watched him, every minute movement, but he only copied her movements and stared out into the new evening as the stars gathered in the skies. He was silent for so long she gave up on an answer, her eyes straying back to the darkness outside.
"..yes."
Mako's eyes widened, her heart skipping a beat at the admission. "It's true then? You're really him?" Her voice a strained whisper.
His answer was a halting nod.
"Were you captured on purpose?"
"No," Takeru shook his head. "I had never planned to get caught; I was taken by surprise in an ambush." His smile was humorless. "It would have been too risky to try getting caught on purpose – I could have been killed in route here. I should have been killed once I got here, if not in the dungeons as they tried to extract information from me, than as a grand display of power by your king." His expression turned dark and his mouth twisted. "I should be a rotted, baking corpse on your wall – a vivid warning to all of Aduro's enemies."
Mako couldn't suppress the shudder this time; the images conjured in her mind all too real. Something inside her deeply rejected these vibrant pictures, even though the information wasn't new, had in fact had the very same thoughts herself. She pitied the poor souls who were put on such grand display, but she had never felt her blood turn to ice as she thought about Takeru's broken body placed up there amongst them.
Takeru looked over and noted that she looked faintly nauseous. "I'm sorry," he apologized immediately. "That was too much."
Mako shook her head, as much to negate his unneeded apology as to rid herself of the horrifying images and baffling feelings they brought. She turned to face him, needing to feel his solid presence even though he stood so close she could nearly feel his body heat. Her hand reached out to softly rest on his forearm, heat racing through her chilled fingertips and shooting up her arm at the touch.
Takeru stared at her hand on his arm, stunned before he looked back up at her, noting the true sincerity shining from the depths of her eyes and his heart began to beat at an ever-increasing rhythm.
"I can't imagine what it's like. To be separated from your family, your friends…everything you've ever known and forced into a foreign land where you expect nothing but torture and death. Only to be," she flushed faintly, "to be forced to follow the whims of a Princess – a woman – the daughter of your hated enemy." Her eyes dropped to the floor, unable to hold his unblinking gaze any longer. "I'm so sorry."
Takeru reached out with a gentle hand and hooked his finger under her chin, urging her to look up at him again.
Mako felt her heart begin to pound in her chest in surprise. He had never touched her like this before, so intimately – all the previous encounters had been out of necessity, guided by his natural instincts to protect. This was all so new to her so…foreign.
She felt herself leaning forward, her body tensed with expectancy as if she stood at a cliff's edge and knew that the thrill of it would be worth the war inside herself between trepidation and exhilaration.
Takeru drew closer to her in response, a silent battle of arguments rising in his head over the many reasons why this wasn't a good idea versus the plethora of new and unnamed feelings that arose whenever he was near her.
They knew they were severely testing the line they had firmly drawn in the sand, but…
This would be harmless, right?
This was just to satisfy curiosity, to quiet the unending wondering in the back of their heads.
It would rid them of the temptation that had grown between them, the one that they swallowed back daily and buried in the deepest corner of their minds.
Takeru leaned in, so close now they could feel the breath of the other on their lips. The anticipation and anxiety flooded through them in a wild torrent that was both thrilling and terrifying.
It would be one kiss – that was all.
A brief meeting of the lips to settle the quiet voices both inside their heads and without.
It would prove to themselves and to others that what they thought they felt were just playful tugs of the imagination – a passing fancy and nothing more.
It was just the lure of the forbidden. One quick encounter and they would know that the temptation was easily overrun by the firmness of the mind.
It would be over as quickly as it was begun, with nothing more to tease at their dreams both sleeping and wakeful.
Simple. Clean-cut. Over and done.
A harmless experiment.
But as Takeru's lips touched Mako's, the physical sensation rapidly gave way to something more – two great forces melding into one, like the land and sky meeting on the horizon.
Indistinguishable.
The rush of discovering a part of themselves they hadn't even known was missing.
They lost themselves in the sensation, Mako's gentle fingers threading their way through Takeru's hair as his warm hands settled around her waist, softly urging her closer.
The constant fear, uncertainty, and pain washed away for one breath-taking moment as they forgot about the world around them; the harsh, unforgiving world that lay just beyond the closed door.
Everything vanished beneath a fragile peace that they would have been content to linger in had the door not swung open on near-silent hinges and the warm, comfortable silence been shattered by Ryunosuke's cry of outrage.
"Hime!"
The two jumped away from each other in an instant, a flush rising on both of their faces as much from getting caught as the intensity of the feelings that had swept them up to leave the world behind.
Genta stepped in right behind Ryunosuke, having caught the kiss himself. "Well Take-chan, I'd say your second kiss was definitely livelier than your first."
Ryunosuke was fuming where he stood.
To add more chaos to the scene, Kotoha and Chiaki chose to enter Mako's quarters right at that moment, having finished their walk as the air turned cool with the setting of the sun.
"Mako?" Kotoha prompted, noting the awkward tension in the air and Ryunosuke and Genta all but standing in the doorway.
Doing her best to keep her dignity intact as her heart beat furiously in her chest, Mako strode over to Kotoha and grasped her by the arm. "If you'll excuse us, gentlemen, I need to talk to my sister in private." She quickly led her to her room, shutting the door firmly on all the staring faces.
Chiaki still stood in the doorway, thoroughly confused. "What happened in here while we were gone?"
Genta's grin only widened. "I believe I'll let Take-chan fill you in," he told him, patting him on the shoulder as he walked by. "I think Ryunosuke needs a little, ah, fresh air." He forcefully directed the still irate servant out the door.
Only when the door was shut behind them did Chiaki look back at Takeru, his eyebrow rising in silent question.
Takeru remained where he was by the window, leaning against it in much the same way Mako had been earlier. He watched the stars gathering in the sky, the faint flush still present on his cheeks the only thing breaking through his returned stoic façade as he murmured, "They walked in on us at an awkward moment."
Chiaki's mind raced forward. "What kind of awkward moment could get Ryunosuke so steamed? Were you touching her inappropriately or something?"
Takeru leveled him with a glare.
Chiaki grinned back mischievously. "You're not giving me much to go on here you know, so unless you were caught kissing or something I can't see why he would be so – ah." He saw the flush rise further on Takeru's face.
"Did you get it out of your system then, Takeru?"
There was a long silence before Takeru sighed and shook his head. "I wasn't even aware it was in my system to begin with until…"
Chiaki leaned back against the wall he stood in front of, crossing his arms over his chest before darting a glance at the closed door to the girls' room. "Yeah," he muttered quietly, I know the feeling."
Genta sighed in exasperation. "It was just a kiss Ryunosuke. Calm down."
He watched as the furious servant tried to place a permanent path in the hallway with his agitated pacing, unable to keep still for a moment.
"It's my duty to protect her," he hissed back, trying to keep his anger contained and his voice low. "You know as well as I that this could never be – she's too kind, too giving – the truth would shatter her beyond repair if the two of them get involved!"
Now it was Genta's turn to frown, all traces of his usual mirth gone. "Do you think Takeru is trying to hurt her on purpose?"
It was Ryunosuke's turn to sigh in exasperation as he waved the comment away. "No, I don't think he'd deliberately set out to be malicious, but that's what will make this hurt all the worse when it ends.
"We can't let anything start because it will have to end, one way or another." He leveled Genta with an even stare, as he finally stopped his pacing and held his ground. "Tell him to back off and leave her alone. I don't care if his intentions are pure, or if someone on your side is ordering him to get closer to her for the sake of – "
He caught Genta's wince and felt the anger renew in his blood, now beyond coherent words.
Genta did his best to try and calm him down again, his voice an urgent whisper. "He was told to get closer to her, yes, but not make her fall in love with him or anything. It's just to keep an eye on her." He tried to grin in reassurance. "Stop worrying! If anything, it's probably just a harmless fling – a flirtation. If everything goes according to plan there won't even be time for a romance to develop between them. They're just starting to talk to each other!"
Ryunosuke let Genta's words sink in for a moment. "You'd better be right," he muttered mutinously.
"I'm scared Kotoha – it wasn't just a kiss. It felt like..." Mako searched for the words and came up empty-handed. "It just felt like something more, like time stopped for a moment. I felt…"
"Safe?"
"Yes," Mako answered softly, looking down at her feet.
Kotoha smiled gently and wrapped her older sister in an empathetic hug. "For someone who hasn't been able to let her guard down since she was a child, I expect that feeling would be rather terrifying."
Mako returned the hug with fervor, almost clinging to her sister in support. "It's not just that," she whispered. "It's – this cannot be. We have too much we are gambling with already – lives are at stake. I can't afford to be distracted by anything right now."
"I think I love Chiaki."
Mako's eyes widened, stiffening in her sister's embrace for a moment before pulling back to look at her flushed face, startled by the abrupt confession. "What?"
"I know how you feel Mako," Kotoha continued. "Chiaki's a palace guard and I'm a princess, albeit a minor one, but you know father will end up marrying me off as someone else's second or third wife one day." She smiled forlornly, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
"You know, I've daydreamed about running away with him," she continued. "Like in one of my books. But I don't know how he feels, and I don't want to leave you here all alone in this place Mako."
Mako felt warmth surge through her heart at her sister's confessions. "Oh Kotoha." She stroked the younger girl's hair in soothing motions. "When did you grow up so fast?"
Kotoha let out a small giggle. "When you weren't looking?"
Mako smiled back. "So I take it you've long since had your first kiss by now?" She felt more than heard Kotoha's answer as her sister nodded against Mako's shoulder.
Mako sighed, a brief stab of hurt passing through her at not being told as soon as it happened, but immediately pushing the feeling aside. "Men are such trouble, aren't they?"
This time Kotoha's body shook with giggles, breaking their embrace as they stood facing each other in mirror-image smiles. She wiped away at the tears that had threatened to fall.
"What do we do Mako?"
There was a long beat of silence. "I don't know," Mako's answer was hardly more than a whisper. "It feels like things are about to start happening fast now – changes that we might not be as prepared for as we thought."
Kotoha bit her lip, her eyes shining with worry and traces of fear. "Mako? When Pluvia, Caelestis Via, and all their allies get here…what will happen to us?"
Mako reached out to tuck a stray, curled lock behind her sister's ear. "I don't know," she admitted quietly. "We're the daughters of the King – their enemies, potential threats should we ever get the idea in our heads to seek revenge for our Sire and kingdom. But they may also see us as women – uneducated in anything but our," she scowled, "sexual prowess and thus maybe too unintelligent for much else."
Kotoha snorted. "You're far from unintelligent Mako, and we're hardly knowledgeable about..." She flushed at the idea.
Mako smiled at her sister's innocence. "They won't know that," she told her calmly. "They'll view us all the same in the chaos and aftermath of battle. Those who don't put up a fight will be rounded up, possibly questioned…
"Depending on the country, some of the women may be given over as…rewards to the men for their valor in the fight."
Kotoha's shoulders dropped. "I guess I don't have to worry about Father marrying me off to someone then."
Mako frowned, wishing she could lie and comfort her sister. "Enjoy your time with Chiaki," she told her. "If you truly love him – that is a rare gift for us. Commit every moment to memory and hold it locked safely away in your heart where no one can touch it."
"As a soldier of Aduro, he probably wouldn't last the night after they take over, would he?" Kotoha's voice was small.
Mako hesitated before answering, her voice soft as it held all of the sympathy in the world. "They would most likely kill him, yes."
The tears Kotoha had fought back before now spilled over. "Mako?"
Mako felt a fierce ache rush through her at the sight of her sister's grief and an unshakable determination course through her in its aftermath. She reached out and wiped away her sister's tears, her eyes bright as a plan began to formulate itself in her mind. "I'll do what I can Kotoha," she fervently whispered. "We'll figure something out. I promise."
Kotoha's smile was watery but there all the same. "What about you and Takeru?"
"I…I'll handle it when the time comes."
Kotoha sighed. "I wish I was as strong as you Mako."
"You're stronger than you realize," Mako assured her. "Now, let's get ready for bed – it's been a long day."
Kotoha gave her sister a quick, strong hug in thanks before going through the usual nightly routine.
Mako watched her from the corner of her eye, affirming her desire to at least let her little sister escape from this nightmare with at least some happiness and security.
If Kotoha loves Chiaki, then I need only find out his feelings about her. If he loves her too – maybe in the chaos we can smuggle them out and they'll eventually find happiness together, living ordinary, everyday lives. It wouldn't be easy, by any stretch of the mind, but they'd figure it out; they're strong, quick thinkers, and with Pluvia reuniting the countries back as one, the livelihoods of the citizens of this kingdom will markedly improve. They'll find work, start a home, a family, and find their own corner of peace in this mad world.
She lifted the covers and slid in next to her sister on the large bed, reaching out to draw down the sheer curtains around them to block out most of the oil lamps' light.
"Night Mako," Kotoha mumbled, her exhaustion catching up with her fast.
"Sweet dreams," Mako whispered back.
She watched her sister's breathing as it evened out into deep sleep.
"You'll be happy one day, I swear," Mako told her dreaming form. Even if it's far away from here. Even if I'm no longer here to see it.
She heard words echo in her head.
"Yes, I will handle it," she whispered to the dark before rolling over and staring up at the ceiling above her. "Like I always have."
I'll do what's right for everyone, even if – a vivid image of her shared kiss with Takeru flashed before her eyes and she felt a sharp tug at her heart, still unable to name the feelings it brought with it.
In the dark and stillness with no one to witness it, Mako could finally give voice to her own deepest thoughts, her carefully crafted mask slipping away under the shadow of night.
"This kingdom will cease to exist, its citizens will begin to prosper once more."
She glanced at her sister's slumbering form. "You'll have children and grow old beside the one you love."
A sharp pain lanced through her heart as she remembered gentle hands and warm lips. "He'll go back to his own country and become a wise and fair ruler. And I…
"I won't be around to witness it." She brought her arms up to cover her face, giving in to her fear and disparity for just a moment. The box she has sealed it all away in cracking open the slightest degree.
Mako knew, deep down inside, in a place she would hide from her sister forever, that the chances of her surviving this outcome were all but non-existent. If anyone from Aduro found out she was staging a coup she would be killed on the spot. If that information came out after the coup then they would find her and enact their revenge all the same.
It was all simply a matter of time.
As First Princess of Aduro she would be a prime target for Pluvia and their allies as well. They would never trust her because of that very title – she would always be a suspected, potential enemy.
No, there was no were to run, nowhere to hide, even if her pride would allow such a thing.
She had heard someone say once that you could have anything you wanted, so long as you were willing to give up everything for it – even your life.
And that's what this would cost.
Her life, in exchange for the happiness of her country and its citizens.
She told herself it was a small price to pay.
Mako scrunched herself into a tiny ball as the enormity of what she was trying to accomplish threatened to overwhelm her and the almost crippling fear it caused stole her breath away.
"They'll be safe," she muttered to herself over and over again like a mantra. "It will be worth it, they'll be safe."
As the unending cycle of words fought back against her fears, they finally lulled her to sleep.
In the place between dreaming and awake, memories of soft lips on hers and a warm embrace brought back that fleeting feeling of safety and she relaxed into gentle dreams.