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I'm not exactly sure at what point things went from Tobias and I sleepily repositioning oursevles against each other after the alarm went off to steal an extra ten minutes in bed to something... not that.

Probably when he ran his hand up my leg, fingers curved in just enough to burn a trail up the inside of my thigh before tightening around my hip. If not then, then definitely when he pulled me on top of him.

Our lips are hungry and demanding, and it's better than when it's soft and sweet because we're not afraid of each other, not afraid to be honest about how we feel or what we want. His touch feels electric where his hand is splayed across my back, a tickling tingle that flows from his fingertips to my skin lighting up every cell he touches.

And then the alarm beeps again and ruins everything. I groan in disappointment as he shifts away, slapping at it until silence engulfs us again. Soon enough his arms are back around me, but it's different than what it was a minute ago. Now it's tender, remorseful.

He presses a kiss to the soft spot between my neck and shoulder. "We have to get up." But his arms don't loosen where they're looped around me.

I sigh. I know he's right. I know it's selfish to linger when there's so much to be done. That doesn't make it any easier though. "I know," I mumble against his skin, mirroring his actions. I'm tempted to not let go, but I do. His hands fall away as I slip off, perching on the edge of the bed as he gets up.

"Be careful today."

"I'm going to Amity, I'm sure that will be fraught with danger." I snicker.

"Everything's dangerous right now, Tris." He says as he walks over to the dresser, pulling out clothes. "And don't get in any fights while you're there. I shudder to think of what you'll do if you're subjected to their peace serum again."

My cheeks burn at the memory. "I still don't know why I have to be the one go."

"Yes, you do." He stands in front of me and I press into his palm when his hand cups my cheek. He tilts my face up so I have to look at him. "We need to know what's going on there. I trust you."

"Does Tori?"

He doesn't say anything because we both know the answer. She doesn't. When I got Tobias' raven tattooed she wouldn't do it. Bud was the one who inked it into my flesh and it felt strange to have someone else do it. It felt strange to be touched like that by a man who wasn't Tobias. I wouldn't have done it without him next to me, holding my hand and rubbing his thumb across my knuckles the same way I'd seen my parents do the few times I saw them show affection in public.

"I do."

"I know."

"I let you pluck my eyebrows, Christina, wasn't that enough torture?"

"You're representing Dauntless. You need to look your best."

"I'm not getting out of this, am I?"

"Nope." She chirps, her lips popping over the 'p'.

I turn to face her, dutifully closing my eyes so she can apply eyeliner, and then opening them for mascara. "Do you really need to carry that stuff around in your pockets all the time? It's like you're a terrorist, ready to unleash makeovers on unsuspecting passersby." I grumble.

She ignores me. "Much better. You know you really should get some makeup of your own."

"Why should I when I have you around to paint me up like a doll?" I smirk at her.

"Ready to go, Tris?" Uriah asks as he walks up, rifle slung over his back.

"You have no idea."

I see him and Christina exchange a look as I get up, but I pretend not to notice. A few minutes later we're meeting Zeke next to the train tracks. I can see a pair of handguns in shoulder holsters under his jacket.

There's a crowd of a dozen other Dauntless waiting for the train to take them out to the fence and then walk to Amity. Safety in numbers, I remind myself. It seemed smartest to travel with them as they went out to Amity to relieve the Dauntless guards there. We'll be coming back with a group of Amity delivering food.

The tracks start vibrating just as we reach the crowd, and as one we start jogging, then jumping into the cars as they pass. Uriah and Zeke seat themselves on either side of me, and it annoys me a little. They're here because Tori doesn't trust me and Tobias worries, probably that I'll do something stupid. I try not to think about that, instead distracting myself with watching the city as it whips by.

"So what's Amity like?" Uriah shouts over the wind as the train rattles along the tracks.

"Okay, I guess. You might have to give up the gun though. We had to turn ours over the last time we were there. Things might have changed." I shrug. "I guess we'll find out."

"That why you have a knife?"

"Something like that." I say noncommittally. I reach down, fingering the knife I have strapped to my thigh. It's certainly not a pocketknife, which should make Tobias happy. I doubt I'll use it, but I'd rather have it and not need it than vice-versa.

The gate is now guarded by a mix of Dauntless and factionless, and like they were on the streets of Abnegation the night before the attack on Erudite there's a clear divide between them. I don't recognize any of them, but Zeke waves to a black-haired girl with a colorful tattoo decorating her chest above her shirt.

We walk from the gate to Amity, and it's nice. The sun is out, but there's a cool breeze that keeps it from getting too hot. Winter will be here soon. It's easy to forget on a day like this the first time I made this journey. As I walk I try not to think of Caleb locked in a cell somewhere; dead, maybe, I wouldn't know.

My parents would have said that I should forgive him, that even though his actions were bad, his intentions were good. But I no longer have parents because of the things he did. I endured weeks of abuse because of the things he did. And I hate him for it.

It's not the burning, raging hate I had for him when I was being used as a lab rat. I wish it was. I know I'll never forgive him, that this anger will never go away, but now that it's not so fresh there's a part of me that misses the brother I thought I had.

"Tris," Uriah calls me out of my reverie, "do you know where we need to go?" He nods towards a cluster of buildings in the distance.

"Yeah, I know where we're going."

"Where's the dining hall?" Zeke asks.

"That big building on the left, why?"

"Thought I might have lunch and hang out with the Dauntless coming off duty while you talk to Johanna." His voice is too forced to be honest, and he nods slightly in response to my eyebrow raised questioningly. Apparently he's got his own little mission while we're here.

The apple orchard is a rainbow of autumnal colors now, and there are guards walking around with guns slung across their backs like Uriah. I can only assume that is one of the conditions the Dauntless and factionless imposed on Amity for their non-involvement in the war. It gives the place a sinister air it didn't have before.

"It smells weird here." Uriah scrunches up his nose. "Like rotting food."

"Compost."

"What?"

"Compost. It's one of the things they use to fertilize the ground. It's made from leftover food and leaves and things like that, I think."

"It smells weird."

"Don't worry we won't be here long." I tease as we make our way between the greenhouses.

I turn into the courtyard surrounding Johanna's office and stop so abruptly Uriah runs right into me. Edward it sitting outside the door to her office, rifle leaned up against the wall next to him as he smokes a cigarette. Evelyn must be inside; she doesn't go anywhere without her guard dog.

"Private party, factionless only."

I stand for a moment weighing my options. I could politely wait outside until Johanna and Evelyn finish their meeting. I could. But I won't.

"Technically we're all factionless now." I say and walk past him. Uriah's only a step behind me and I can feel the tension radiating off him.

Evelyn turns in her chair, facing me as I walk in. Her eyes are cold and appraising as they rake over me. "Beatrice." Her voice is condescending.

"Evelyn."

"It would probably be foolishly optimistic of me to think that you're here because your faction exiled you."

"Evelyn." Johanna says warningly. Her warning carries no weight however, not anymore. She can't force us to like or respect each other with threats of serums and banishment.

"I must say I'm surprised Tobias still trusts you. I was rather hoping after you so easily betrayed him by allying with Marcus that he'd realize how weak your loyalty is. But I forgot how young love feels; how important and substantial and lasting you think it is."

A few months ago I would have hit her, or made some petulant remark about her marrying Marcus for those reasons. A few months ago her words might have haunted me the way her words about my transience in Tobias' life had for a while.

But war changes you. And so does love. So I hit her with something that hurts so much worse than fists because it's the truth.

I smile at her pityingly, condescendingly, the same way she's been talking to me. "You're wrong. I saved him the same way he saved me when I tried to sacrifice myself to the faction you were born into." Shock crosses her face, but it's gone as quickly as it came. "Because that's what family does, Evelyn. The people you love pull you back from the brink, they save you from the mistakes you're too blinded to see. Tobias and I are each others family; the only family we have left."

She doesn't react, and I don't expect her to. But for once I feel like I'm the victor and not some stupid little girl after clashing with her.

"Why don't you and your friend go have lunch, Tris. Evelyn and I will be finished soon, and then I'll fill you in on the arrangements we're making for winter." Johanna's voice is as tired sounding as she looks, and suddenly I feel bad for her. She never signed up for this.

"Do you mind if we walk around for a while? It's nice to get out of the city; I'd like to enjoy it."

"Of course." She waves me off, but it's not dismissive in an unfriendly way like the action would be if Evelyn did it.

Edward is glaring at me with his one eye, the bright red drop of blood stitched into the patch of his other eye combining with his twisted expression to create a grotesque picture. I should probably be afraid of him, but after everything I've seen and experienced and lived through since I left Abnegation I can't find it in me to be afraid of a man with a gun. I know there's much worse things than that, things that actually warrant fear.

"How did you know that about Evelyn." Uriah hisses as soon as we're alone.

"You'll think it's stupid," I frown, "but she's manipulative, duplicitous, and thinks strategically. What other faction could she have come from?" There's something else too, I realize; the blue glass statue she smuggled to Tobias, but I don't tell Uriah that.

"She really hates you."

"I know."

"Why?"

"You're very nosy aren't you?" I tease.

"No, I'm curious. There's a difference." He teases back.

I can't help smiling. It's so easy to be around Uriah, always has been. Ever since I transferred to Dauntless he's been like a brother to me. Maybe he's another link in my new family.

"She wants to control Four, to use him. I get in the way of that, so she wants me gone." I shrug.

"Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen." Uriah laughs.

We walk without any real destination, through fields being tended by people in an array of colors; the expected red and yellow of Amity alongside Dauntless black and Erudite blue. Even from a distance they look like what they are: inmates in a pretty prison. They look beaten down, even if I don't see any of the guards beating them.

We pick fruit off the trees, including a funny one that looks like a cross between a tomato and an apple that a little girl in a bright red dress and pigtails tells us is a persimmon. "Hey! How are you supposed to eat this?" Uriah calls after her, but she's too busy chasing after a girl who could only be her sister to notice.

"Just take a bite."

He eyes the fruit in his hand suspiciously. "You first."

"Coward." I snicker, but take a bite. I roll it over in my mouth, trying to decipher the flavor.

"Well?"

"It's good. Sweet, but a little spicy. The flavor is like a mix between apples and sweet oranges, and a little bit of pear, maybe? I don't know." I take another bite. "I like it." I pick another and shove it in my jacket pocket for later.

After a while we start making our way back towards Amity's buildings, having wandered far into their orchards and fields without realizing it. I'm eating a handful of scavenged blueberries when I catch sight of Johanna again.

The easy smile I remember from months before is back again. "I thought you got lost."

"No, just walked."

She leads us back into her office, shaking hands with Uriah along the way and introducing herself. She pours us cups of tea before sitting down before seating herself behind her desk. I lift the cup to my lips and hesitate.

"Don't worry, it's not spiked. So what are you doing here?"

"The Dauntless leaders sent me to see how everything is going. They wanted to know if you needed anything, had any messages for them."

"What I want is people with guns out of Amity, but that's not going to happen any time soon, is it?"

"I doubt it."

We descend into uncomfortable silence. "So... what did Evelyn want?" I finally ask.

She sighs heavily. "That depends. Her pretext for coming here was to make sure we had enough resources and manpower to meet the needs of the increased production we'd all like to see."

"Do you?" I interrupt.

"Yes, but it's going to take time. Despite the advances we have at our disposal food will only grow so fast. Can I ask you something?"

"Okay."

"She said something... troubling. It wasn't a threat exactly, but she said if we can't increase our production enough we should severely limit the food we send to Erudite; that hunger might give them the incentive they need to produce better additives or engineer strains of plants that produce more food. Do the Dauntless agree?"

"I don't know, to be honest. I'm not in the leadership."

"I didn't like the idea of people going hungry when it was the factionless, Tris, and I don't like it anymore now when it's the Erudite despite what they've done."

I stare down at the dregs in my cup, unsure of how I feel about it, if I should feel anything at all.

"You said that was just a pretext though." Uriah reminds us. "What do you think she was really here for?"

A rueful smile plays on Johanna's scarred face. "To remind me that Amity is without influence now; that even here, we have no power; that essentially we are slaves."

Uriah leans forward, watching Johanna intently. "Did something happen? I mean did she just drop by out of the blue to remind you of that, or was there a reason?"

"The Amity aren't happy with the situation - having armed guards here, I mean - maybe she thought they were thinking of fighting back, like the other factions did after Jeanine was killed."

"Are they?" I ask.

"Not yet, but if things don't change... maybe."

"Why haven't the Amity opened the gate? It seems like that would solve a lot of problems."

She's silent for a moment, weighing her words before speaking. "Your ancestor said that our society was supposed to solve the problems of whatever it is that lies beyond Amity. Those images of death and pain, of war... how will we be able to fulfil the hopes of those who placed us here when we're no better?"

"If - if - the Amity decide to fight back would you come to Dauntless for help?"

It's dark by the time we pull up to the glass spire, the convoy of Amity trucks clattering to a stop in front of it. There's already a group of Dauntless waiting to unload the food, and I can see more Dauntless on the rooftops of the ruined buildings around us, guns hung loosely in their hands as they keep watch, protecting us from attack.

I should probably help unload the trucks or carry the food down to the kitchens, but I have too much to think about, and before I realize it my feet have carried me inside. I walk slowly downstairs and through the Pit, into the cafeteria, only vaguely noticing that we're having chicken again tonight. I suppose they grow quicker than cows; beef is becoming scarce.

Not long after I sit down I'm joined by Uriah, and then Tobias and Zeke, and eventually Tori and Harrison.

Zeke is the first one to break the silence. "Everything looks good. So far the guards don't seem to be getting too close to the inmates."

It makes sense to be concerned about that, until a few months ago these people were our faction, our friends.

Tori nods to herself, pleased. "I want you to go back out there every few weeks. Keep an eye on things."

"That's gonna suck once it starts to snow." Zeke grumbles, but assents to it with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Uriah?" Tori's still ignoring me, apparently.

"Evelyn and Edward were there; talking about limiting the food that's being sent to Erudite if the Amity don't increase production soon." He blurts out before I can stop him. Tact has never been a Dauntless priority, and I can see Tobias' knuckles go white around his knife and fork out of the corner of my eye. "But that's not important. Apparently the real reason she was there though - according to Johanna, anyway - is because she thinks the Amity are getting restless, thinks they might fight back."

"Will they?" Harrison asks, his voice low but deep, soothing.

"I don't know; she wouldn't say. I think she's hoping things will get better instead of worse."

"Tris?" Tobias asks quietly next to me, trusting in my better-than-average perception to get an accurate impression of what's going on there.

I set my knife and fork down carefully, then rub my hands across the top of my thighs. It's a nervous habit, I know, but as long as Christina's all-seeing Candor eyes aren't on me I don't try to stop myself.

"I think... I think without the Peace serum they would right now, today; no one likes being exploited. But since they're still getting it, it might take another war before they decide to side with or against anyone. But Uriah is right; I think they hope this will all blow over, that a new government will form that's fair to everyone."

"That's not going to happen." Tori snaps. "Erudite will never have a seat in any new government, and after the factionless stabbing us in the back, they never will either."

"Yes, because disenfranchising whole groups of people has worked so well for us in the past." Tobias says sarcastically.

"Just because your mother is their leader-" Tori starts, and then cuts off, wilting under the harshness of the glare Tobias directs at her.

Uriah snorts next to me, trying to suppress a laugh. "I don't think Evelyn's going to be a problem."

"And why's that?" Tori asks, her voice full ire she would probably like to take out on Tobias.

"Because you didn't see the verbal beat-down Tris gave her today." He smiles at me fondly, and all I want is for a hole to open up in the floor and swallow me. This isn't how I wanted to tell Tobias about what happened. "She didn't know what hit her."

When I can finally look up from my plate Tori looks like she's swallowed a lemon, but surprisingly Tobias looks relaxed, and that makes me relax. The rest of the meal passes quietly. Zeke and Uriah are the first ones to leave, eager to get back to Shauna and Christina probably. I follow not long after, but I don't go back to our apartment, choosing instead to sit at the bottom of the Chasm.

I don't know how long I sit there, arms wrapped around my legs and face buried in my knees letting the steady roar of water quiet my busy mind, but I feel Tobias join me eventually.

"I didn't know she'd be there."

I look over to see him watching me apprehensively. "I know. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

I know he's not, can see in it in the conflicted shifting of his eyes. "It's just me here."

He smiles at me, remembering when he said the same thing to me. "So... what did you say to her?"

Right now it feels so far away that I struggle to remember. "That she was wrong to think that I chose Marcus instead of you; that doing what I did would drive a wedge between us. I told her that family are the people who pull you back from the brink, who save you from yourself when you're too blinded to see your mistakes. I told her that you and I are family; the only family we have left."

He reaches out, sliding his fingers across my cheek and into my hair, pulling me towards him and meeting me in the middle. Sometimes words are useless. Sometimes the best way to tell someone something is to kiss them. This is one of those times.