The familiar acrid stink of the river Ankh in high summer permeated the soggy section of gutter that Vimes resided in, and half-heartedly assailed his nostrils, bludgeoning up his nasal cavity and through his skull in an effort to force him into semi-awareness. However, the fuzziness that currently dictated his dwindling consciousness overruled the urge to lever himself from his putrid resting place. This was aided somewhat by a belated discovery that the affectionately cradled bottle of Bearhugger's finest, was not, in fact, as empty as it had first appeared.
In his small, sparse quarters above the Puesdepollis Yard Watchhouse, a broad freckled hand twisted its polishing cloth absentmindedly. The building had been given to the Watch after the old station on Treacle Mine road had been blasted to bits by the dragon that had terrorized the city all those years back. Vimes hadn't exactly pleased by the upmarket area, but he hadn't been able to deny the usefulness of the extra space, especially with the new recruits that Ventinari had requested, (in that special way he had of requesting things that painted quiet pictures of scorpion pits and torture chambers,) and soon the place had become home. Captain Carrot still had his rooms there from when Vimes had asked that he move out of his previous lodgings with the kindly Mrs. Palm and all her wonderful daughters. Vimes had seemed a bit stiff when he found that out actually, and Nobby had practically choked. Carrot had wondered if it was because the family lived in the Shades, and had assured the men that they were very polite and friendly and surely not Criminal Elements. Nobby had doubled over at this point, but Vimes had just looked at Carrot strangely and said something odd about them being too friendly for Carrot's own good.
The hand reached for the first of the carefully graded wire brushes, scouring away the day's sweat and dust and grime, proceeding through to the finest brush, then on to a soft buffing cloth, until the breastplate shone like a glowing bronze sun. Captain Carrot's armor was rumored to be the brightest in all Ankh-Morpork, though with the state of most of the city's metal, it couldn't be too hard. The other Watchmen speculated that the incessant shining was a side affect of his dwarf upbringing, (despite being six foot six, Carrot had been found abandoned in a forest in the mountains and was adopted by the local king. He had been raised in dwarf sized tunnels, and as a result had gained the affectionate nickname "head-banger" among his fellow miners.) and that he used strange mining oils to achieve the blinding glow. Those more familiar with him however, suspected it was just part of the sheer keenness that personified the Captain.
The reasons for, and the circumstances surrounding Commander Vimes' drunkenness were a mystery even to himself, and he had decided that if he was this thoroughly and systematically drunk, then he probably didn't want to find out what he had been trying to forget after all, because then he would have get drunk all over again, and he was wary of following that course of action because he was unsure just how drunk he could get before coming around in a circle and sobering up,which was something he wished to avoid. (Although the prospect of another bottle did have a certain charm.) Abandoning this as a potentially injurious train of thought, he raised his whiskey fueled voice in harmony with the rest of the drunks, who sat or sprawled in various stages of oblivion along the many similar gutters citywide.