This update happened much slower than I meant it to, sorry for that. Life happens though. Welp, Raph's hot on the trail of April O'Neil, and this chapter seemed to turn into a bit of filler before Raph really starts to get... aggressive, for lack of a better term for what he'll do once he catches up to April. Stick with me folks, I promise I'll blow your mind in one way or another (increidble excitement, lame disappointment, they're both possble). Read, review, make suggestions, comments. Again, no eatting shit or dying is welcome. Reviews though are encouraged, as consumer feedback and suggestions onproduct enhancement are always the best way to get what you want (read: more story).

My alarm's goin' off. I can hear it, but I cant make my eyes open ta turn it off. God, its killin' my head. Feels like the damn clock's literally clamberin' against the inside of my fuckin' skull.

Jesus Christ, knock it off will ya?!

My arm shoots out from my hammock and knocks the damn thing off the nightstand and onta the floor. It don't turn off, but its far enough away from my head ta ignore. I think I get back ta sleep, I don't know. Either way, it ends up being late afternoon before my feet touch the grimy floor of my room. I was supposed ta be up early for somethin', but I cant remember what. All I know is my fuckin' face hurts like somebody hit me with a- Oh yeah, that freak with the hockey mask creamed me with that frickin' cricket bat!

I was out last night, up top. The hell was I doing up there?

I'm groggy. Yeah. Groggy.

Shit.

I open my bedroom door and step inta the main room where my brothers are gathered 'round the TV. What're those tools so interested in today? Somethin' on the news? There's always somethin' happenin' in this fucked up city.

"Mmmmuah, I'm in love!" Michelangelo kisses the TV screen then pulls back enough for me ta see what's going on.

Fuck! That news lady. How could I'ave forgotten about that bitch?

She's interviewin' Chief Wiggum- err, I mean, Chief Sterns. He reminds me of Wiggum on the Simpsons. Both of 'em are fuckin' idiots. Spend too much time in the donut box and not enough time doin' any real cop work. Either way, this little news report saved me doin' some detective work of my own. Now I know exactly where the bitch is, down at City Hall. I'll just head over there, follow her home, grab my sai, and be done with her.

I'm clutchin' the one I got left tight in my right hand, trying not ta drive it inta the back of Mikey's skull as he gushes at the screen. He and Donnie think she's great. She ain't that great. She's a thief is what she is. And all that red she's always wearing kinda gives me the impression that she might as well be easy too. Reminds of that song, The Lady In Red. You know the part that says somethin' about all the guys asking if she wanted ta dance, looking for a little romance. Some shit like that. Either way I bet the bitch had a line of 'em waitin' outside her bedroom door.

"The girl is a fox!"

Seriously Leo?! As if the two little dingbats weren't enough, fawnin' all over the screen at her, while she blabbers on with those fuckin' pouty lips, you gotta join in too? It ain't like you'd be the one out of all us ta feel them lips on your scaly green skin. You think just cause you're the oldest you'd get dibs? I'd get her before you any day, bro.

Shit, I'm smirkin' at that thought as I turn around ta grab my hat, ploppin' it on top of my head. I'm pretty damn satisfied with myself for some reason. I mean hell, maybe I'd give the bitch a little scare when I find her, shove my beak firm against them lips for a second?

I'm trekkin' through the sewers and halfway ta City Hall before I even realize that the thoughts runnin' through my head are a problem. Get it together, Raphael! Jesus, I'm going ta get my sai, not scare the piss outta a nosey reporter. I'm sure tryin' to shove my tongue down her throat would give us away faster than me losin' my sai in the first place. Why the hell I even thought I might wanna try kissin' that old hag is beyond me anyway. I mean she's gotta be like, I dunno, 35? That's old enough ta be my mother!

I lift a manhole cover and poke my head out, tryin'a see if the coast is clear. I came up in an alley about a block away and I gotta move quick if I'm gonna catch her in time. I don't really see anybody around so I push the cover all the way off and climb out, dusting off my coat once I'm up top. I push the cover back in place and adjust my hat, pullin' the brim down over my eyes, tryin'a cover the fact that I got a beak and green skin hiding underneath. It didn't matter much though, if these stupid humans never bothered ta take notice of my green calves and the fact that I'm walkin' 'round barefoot with only two toes on each foot, my green beak should be the least of my worries.

I'm hustlin' down the sidewalk, I lost time back there in the alley, thinkin' too much. Been wrapped up in my own thoughts so much lately that time's been breezin' by without me noticin' a lot. I grab a newspaper outta a trashcan and take cover behind the side of some crummy building across the street. I gotta stay incognito as Donnie would say. I cant get caught out here in broad day light, especially not by her. She cant notice me before I want her to.

I open up the newspaper and pretend I'm readin' it. Shit's a week old but it don't matter since I'm glancing over my shoulder across the street at City Hall anyway, waitin' for her ta come out.

Come on lady, I ain't got all day.

I'm startin' to wonder if I missed her. I thought I'd been pretty quick gettin' through the sewer tunnels but I mighta lost more time in the alley than I thought. But she'd have to like wrap up or something, right? She wouldn't just stand there in front of the camera and say 'This is Foxy O'Neil, signing off,' hand over her microphone and walk outta the building, would she? Pack up her camera maybe? Who I am kiddin'? The bitch would probably shove the mic in her big ass purse and take that home with her too, while some flunky packed up the up the rest of the equipment. Kneelin' down, coiling up the cables while he looks up her dress. Heh. I bet he'd look up her dress.

I'd look up her dress.

I glance over my shoulder again and there she is, skipping down the front steps of the building with that giant ass purse slung over her shoulder. Maybe she's still got my sai in it? I could catch up to her on a street that ain't so crowded and swipe it. I ain't the best pick pocket though, and stealin' the whole purse would be kinda hard. It's so friggin' big, it'd be like stealing a god damn gym bag, so that ain't gonna work either. Maybe I could force her into an alley, nice and alone, and just demand she give it to me. Heh. Yeah, she'll give it to me alright if I get her alone.

Fuck, Raphael, get your head outta the gutter and focus!

She's headed for the subway, I gotta catch her before she catches that damn train.