So, it's that overused kitten plot! Although there probably won't be pairings, I'm open to whatever. Hell, I have a sequel planned in my head. Haha, by the way, this could be considered a self-insert. I hope you fellow Naruto/Akatsuki fans enjoy~! I know I'll have divertido writing this. Dont forget, reviews are love~. I'm not trying to be a review whore, but it'd be nice to hear what's wrong with your fic. That being said, I don't tolerate flames. They're deliberately hurtful and mean and can break someone in half. If you decided you didnt like my story so far, then just leave. It's as simple as pressing the back button. Or, if you think its not too good but it has potential, book mark it and come back in like two months. I won't be mad(though I will get depressed). Im done blabbing. Read the A/N or don't. On to la historia~(Sorry if you don't understand Spanish. I just random use it to spice things up lol)
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Itachi would be alive and he would have his own solid gold statue. No questions asked.
I was actually getting off my lazy ass to get the mail when I spotted a small cardboard box. I didn't know what to make of it, so I ignored it at first.
"Junk, junk, junk, damn where is that reply I've been waiting for since July?!" I groaned, shoving the mail into my jacket.
"Nya~!" I heard from the box. I raised a brow(admittedly, I can't raise one without raising the other, but I'm getting better at it.), squatting down to get a better look. The wind whipped harshly against my body and I prayed I wouldn't have school tomorrow due to Hurricane Sandy.
"Hey look, a box!" I exclaimed, pseudo-cheerfully. Carefully, I opened the lid and ten pairs of eyes looked back at me. Immediately, I let my guard down. Come on, this is a box of kittens we're talking about here! Kittens are probably the only thing that could make me melt completely. "Aw, kittens." I cooed, carelessly reaching my hand in to pet the nearest one, a brownish kitten with stitch-like markings over his body. He bit me, but I ignored it.
"Bitch, I have a cat and she bites the fuck out of my hand when I provoke her. Your baby teeth ain't got nothing on her's." I told him, like he could understand. I believed animals could at least get the gist of what we were saying to them. Maybe that's why my dad gave me funny looks when I talked to my darling cat Alice. I'm ashamed to admit I named her after Alice from Twilight(I was thirteen and obsessed, but I have seen the error of my ways!). The brown kitten, who I mentally named Stitch, begrudgingly unclamped his teeth from my hand. I smirked, scratching the kitten behind his ear. The wind suddenly picked up and I felt the tiny pitter of rain. I closed the lid and calmly walked back into my house, whistling one of the band songs that just would not get out of my head.
I somehow made it past my dad, who I knew without a doubt would take the kittens to the ASPCA. Let's face it, I may as well have shot the kittens right there if that had happened(the ASPCA near me was in some trouble, since they were unlawfully euthanizing animals).
When you walk into my room, you may notice the Inuyasha posters I have on the opposite wall first. Then as your eyes traveled, you'd see my single sized bed. The lamp would catch your eye, as it sat between my bed and make shift bookcase/bed stand. To your immediate left would be a dresser, with a small silver tv with a Verizon top box set underneath. A body mirror sits on the wall, showing yourself all the things you don't want to see. Behind the door(with a sign that says 'A princess sleeps here, no boys allowed), the wall juts out, a fedora covering the the handle to the closet. Finally, you'd see another dresser, knick knacks of all sorts covering the top. And that concludes the mental tour of my room.
I set the box down on the floor, turning and running back down the stairs to give my dad the mail. He shrugged off the direction I came in and took the mail.
"Thank you Sara," he ruffled my blonde head affectionately before looking through the junk. I patted his shoulder and practically skipped back to my room. I sat down on my bed, crossing my pajama clad legs and gazed absently at the box. This lasted for five minutes, until I heard scratching. I kneeled down and opened the lid, only to be attacked by Stitch and his apparent partner in crime, the silver furred kitten with purple eyes. I easily pinned both of them under my scarred pale hands, giving them a victorious smirk.
"You're not gonna win that easily babes." I scooped them up and tossed them back into the box. "Who else wants to get their asses handed to them?" The kittens
stared, then huddled into a circle. "Aw, it looks like a conference or something." I gave a tired smile, falling on my back. I crawled my way to the pillow and took off my glasses. Setting them aside, I closed my eyes. Sleep came instantly.
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Hidan was still licking his wounds when he saw the human female fall asleep. He growled and wanted to go over and scratch her face but Pein stopped him.
"Hidan, control yourself." he cooly commanded, his eyes narrowed. Hidan muttered obscenities under his breath but grudgingly obliged."Does anyone remember what happened?" Konan questioned from Pein's side. Everyone squinted their eyes, trying to discern what had happened.
"I remember a flash of light," said Kisame. "and then that chick is in front of our faces and I've become my own predator!" he yowled dramatically. Deidara frowned, thinking it over.
"Do cats eat shark?" he asked. No one heard him, except Tobi, who draped himself over the irritated blonde bomber.
"Deidara-sempai, isn't Tobi kawaii~?!" Deidara narrowed an eye at him, pushing the lollipop off of him.
"No! Now shut up Tobi!" Pein growled.
"Behave you two," Pein said lowly. Deidara and Tobi jumped into stiff positions.
"Since we are incapable of protecting ourselves at the moment, we shall stay with this human." Pein decided, looking into everyone's eyes, his Rinnegan eerily flashing. Nods and grunts were his answer. Pein, Konan, and Zetsu climbed onto the bed, curling up in the corner.
"Oi, Leader!" Hidan yelled, "What the fuck are you doing?" Pein glared at him with his Rinnegan.
"Sleeping. I was rudely woken up before we became kittens." He closed his eyes, ignoring the rest of the Akatsuki. Itachi glanced blankly into the distance before hopping onto the bed and curling up beside the girl's head. She tiredly curled into the shinobi turned cat, her hand draped across the length of his body. Itachi ignored it for the moment as he closed his eyes.
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It was a few hours later that I woke up. I checked my phone to see it was seven. I fell asleep at four. I felt weight on my body and looked down to see the silver furred kitten snuggled into my cleavage. I pulled myself up groggily, feeling my back scream in pain. I've had back pains since I was nine or ten, so I was pretty used to them. The kitten protested as he fell, pulling himself back onto my chest. Perverted little guy.
"Ok, off the fabulous teenager please." I shoved him off then noticed the other kittens scattered about. I had to hide them from my dad, because let's face it, he wasn't going to let me keep ten kittens. Good thing my room is connected to yet another room! As long as the kittens kept quiet and didn't attract attention that is. I scrunched my nose, concerned. The other room was probably freezing, because the door was closed. Heat was essential to the kittens. Maybe I could build a little nest or something out of blankets. I stood up and stretched, irritated to find that my skin was heated, but not enough for me to sweat. I groaned and walked over to the other room, opening the door and relishing in the coolness. A few kittens followed, curious.
"This is basically our attic," I said aloud, the silence eerie. Plastic bags spilling with clothes lay on a forgotten mattress. A twin sized bed sat in one abstract corner. This could work. I mean, they'd have a place to cuddle up that wasn't hard floor. I swiftly rearranged the blankets so that the kittens could curl up into them if they wanted. I went back in my room and grabbed the water dish I kept for my Alice.
"Ok, now to gather ze kittens." I swiftly closed the door, shutting five kittens in the room. The other five were sleeping on my bed, so it was easy to get them in the room. I noticed one was black and white and I nearly squealed.
"Oh Hidan's Jashin, it's a Zetsu kitty!" I picked him up and hugged him to my chest, showering his tiny head in kisses. The kitten bit me but I ignored him. "He even has the little green patches. Oh poor baby, someone must've dyed that part." I tossed him in with the other kittens, quickly gathering the rest into my arms. I closed the door behind me and I smirked at the little bundles of fur.
"Now that I think about it, I have to name you guys. I mean, I can't just generically call you by your species." I grabbed the nearest kitten, the big blue one with gill-like markings on his cheek. I stroked his fur, causing the big kitten to purr deeply.
"Hmmm..."
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Kisame liked the feeling of getting pet. It was like a back massage, the way the girl's fingers kneaded into his skin."You guys gotta try this!" he mewed to the others. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and grunted at Kisame. Itachi kept staring at the large girl, noting her mannerisms were somehow familiar to him, though he was sure he'd never met her.
"How about Ciel? You like that kitty?" she said in a cutetsy voice. Kisame nodded, not really caring what she called him as long as she moved those magical hands.
"Ugh, I'm terrible at naming things. I'm sorry if one of you babes are unsatisfied with your name." she said to the group. Sara picked up and cradled Itachi, scratching him behind his ear.
"I like the name Midnight. What do you say darling?" Itachi stared blankly, his Sharingan whirling. Sara tilted her head in confusion. "You know, you remind me of Uchiha Itachi, the greatest person to live in a fictional world." The Akatsuki's eyes collectively widened. How did this girl know about them? They listened with rapt attention, but she said no more on the matter and switched Itachi for Pein.
"Your name shall be Monarch." she said after looking at him for a bit. "You seem kingly so Monarch fits." Sara picked up Konan next.
"Are you the only chica here? Poor baby. I'll give you a muy bonita name." Sara closed her eyes briefly. "How about Angel? What's more beautiful than that?" Konan licked her cheek. Sara giggled, petting the female kitten thoroughly before grabbing Kakuzu, but as she leaned forward, a neatly folded ten dollar fell forth. Kakuzu's ears shot frontward, his stare piercing the money.
"Ok Mr, what's your name?" Sara glanced in the same direction as the brown kitten, taking note that he liked money. "Oh, that's right, I named you Stitch." She set him down and he raced to the bill. Sara gave him a strange look as he cuddled up to it, purring up a storm.
"Well then. Ok, next up, Pervy!" Sara pointed to Hidan. "Why Pervy you ask? I woke up to you practically salivating while sitting on my boobs. Anyway, onto the last four kittens!"
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I picked up the orange faced kitten, unease filtering my system. He reminded me of someone, but who? The kitten seemed eager to get his name and even licked my hand. I kissed his nose and decided spontaneously.
"Lollipop shall be thy name." I placed him down and grabbed the blonde-ish kitten. "You can be Clown Demon!" The blonde kitten gave me a cat version of the wtf face. I cackled evilly before grabbing the red kitten. He gave me a blank stare, like he didn't really care about anything in general.
"I'm naming you Sarcasm, cause if you could talk, I'm sure it'd be very sarcastic." I looked at my Zetsu kitty and grinned. I could name one kitten after the Akatsuki.
"You are Zetsu, my dear love. It's only fitting, as you are a Zetsu-kitty." Now, I don't know how, but the kittens sent me these really strange looks. Zetsu looked like he wanted to bite me again, or maybe lick my hand.
"Sara! Get down here!" Oh shit. See, my dad makes our whole family watch Jeopardy, almost religiously, every night at 7:30. I quickly kissed Ciel's nose, dumping him onto a pillow nearby.
"Gotta fly. I'll sneak some food up later, kk?" I flew down the stairs, nearly colliding with my dad.
"I was sleeping, sorry." he accepted the excuse and I steeled myself for a half hour of zoning. I sat next to my mother, who was playing her Black 2. Yes, my mom plays Pokemon fuckers. That's why she's the coolest mom ever.
And so, with my dad, brother(you'll meet the bastard later), and mother, I ended another day, albeit this one had gone from normal to not. After all, I had found a box of kittens lying by the mailbox. Who knows, maybe something crazy will happen, like the kittens actually being the Akatsuki.
I snorted. Yeah right Sara. That stuff only happens in fan fiction...or does it?
...Nah, it does only happen in fan fiction.
So how'd you like it~? Leave a review por favor! Oh, if the lines are spaced weirdly it's because of something wrong with ff. If not, nevermind. I'll post the next chapter around Saturday. I've got it all typed up nice and neat. Who knows, if I get enough reviews, maybe I'll post it earlier~? Next chapter will have a time skip, simply because day to day life with kittens sounds pretty boring~. Well, Ja ne~!