Chapter Eighteen The Briar and The Rose
Classes started the next day. Harry sat at the breakfast table and stared at the head table. He almost missed his mouth with the forkful of eggs when Hermione sat down.
"Harry are you okay?" she asked and sipped at her coffee. "Ron said you were already in bed when he went up.
"Just tired is all," Harry mumbled and caught the fork in time.
She studied him and then leaned in. "We have Potions first thing this morning. It's his special class. Do you think he's going to treat us any differently then he did before?" She turned slightly on the bench and stared up at the head table. Snape's place was empty.
"Oh, that's strange. I've never known Professor Snape to be absent."
Harry nodded and said, "It's early."
"You know he positively looks human with his new clothes and everything. I think he feels safe enough now to be himself. He's got everyone talking anyway," she murmured as Ron slipped in beside her.
He was beaming, "Hagrid is going to give me lessons on training dragons. Charlie's too busy and he's still in Egypt so I can't wait for him. Sent him a letter though."
Harry chewed the eggs longer so that he didn't have to comment.
"Talk about letters," Hermione said as an owl dropped down in front of her. It proffered the leg with a little pouch that she dropped a knut into.
"You aren't still taking the Daily Prophet are you Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Rita Skeeter and I have developed a rather strange relationship," she answered, her brow furrowed as she skimmed the headline. Then she smiled broadly and laughed as she handed the paper to Harry. Ron stood and leaned over the table to read along. Others in the room were sharing theirs as well.
The headlines read: EX-WEREWOLF KILLS VOLDEMORT AND IS AWARDED MERLIN 1ST CLASS BY NEW MINISTER.
Harry glanced up at the table where Lupin had blushed a shade of scarlet that matched Gryffindor colors and Dumbledore was leaning over talking animatedly to him.
They read the story of Lupin's adventures in the Department of Ministry as a ministry employee who happened to capture Voldemort as he attacked the Ministry in force with several dozen Death Eaters.
Hermione was whispering aloud as she skimmed the article and read out sections. "'Newly appointed Law Enforcement employee Remus Lupin was responsible for the eradication of the worlds' most evil wizard when he took on Voldemort and his legion of Death Eaters in a duel that is indescribable.' I bet, since it didn't take place," Hermione whispered.
She kept reading and didn't look up when Ron leaned in and asked, "Did you have something to do with this?"
"She kept her promise and didn't mention you at all, Harry. Everything is fabricated. It's the first time I've allowed Rita to tell a lie since… well, forever as you well know," she replied and kept her nose to the paper.
"Thanks Hermione," Harry nodded. "I owe you one."
"I bet that new Minister of Magic, Sebastian…" he leaned over Hermione and read the article, "Bixby. I bet he was happy to go along with it all. Made the Ministry all look like shiny new coins," Ron said.
"Remus deserves it," Harry said and watched the man continue to blush effusively.
"Someone else does too," Hermione said absently, still reading and running her hand over her bare neck.
Harry knew who she meant.
"Time for class," Ron said. "Later, see you at lunch!"
Hermione folded the paper and glanced at Harry. "Ready?" He nodded feeling the surge of nervousness rising up.
….
The classroom door was open and the few of them that were taking the class filed in to the all too familiar classroom. Cauldrons were placed at the desks and they each took a place behind one.
His deep baritone resounded throughout the silent classroom and no one turned to look at their teacher.
"Good. I see you are well enough informed to come into class and be ready to work without noise and commotion. The potion we will be studying is written on the board. I should not have to tell you what to do." Snape said, walking slowly down the aisle between two rows of desks. Hermione was on one side of the aisle and Harry on the other. They had both laid out their scales and weights and had lined up shiny clean vials.
Snape walked to his platform desk and stood in front of it. He was very close to Harry's desk. He was, however, looking directly at Hermione. "Miss Granger would you mind standing in for me and answering any questions the class might have. I wish to speak to Mr. Potter in private." He turned to Harry and said, "Follow me."
Harry sat his quill down and stood. He looked over at Hermione who was holding a vial in her hand, her mouth hung open and she was staring at Snape in disbelief.
Harry hurried after the man.
Snape opened a door next to the classroom, the one Harry knew led to his private quarters. He stepped in and was followed by Snape. The room was a surprise. It was a study, with heavy leather furniture and warm brightly colored carpets. It was lit with large windows that looked out on the courtyard.
"Would you like to sit," Snape offered.
Harry shook his head and watched him wander to the window. Although they were below ground, magic had been used to present the illusion of an open window. The grounds were visible and Harry thought it represented Snape's favorite view.
Snape spoke with his back to Harry, "Are you upset that you were not made Head Boy?" He glanced back to wait for the answer.
"No," Harry answered. "I think I've had enough of being in the spotlight."
"Good," Snape said. "I was the one who voted against it." He turned and raised his eyebrows. "I didn't want to explain to the staff what you had done to deserve it."
Harry said quietly. "I'd prefer it that way."
"I do think you deserved it," Snape said and watched him.
"Professor…," Harry began and was interrupted.
"Harry, when you are in my private study you may call me Mr. Snape…or... Severus if you like," Snape said it and turned back to the window as if he were struggling to keep his composure.
"Thank you, sir," Harry said and slowly walked over to the window. "I didn't have a chance to thank you… for all you've done." He stood next to him and surveyed the courtyard. After a moment he was able to continue, "I was hoping we could become friends." Harry turned to look him in the face. The dark eyes gave nothing away and he added quickly, "Perhaps that's stretching it too far." He bit his lip and put his hands behind his back, once again turning to the window.
Minutes ticked by and Harry was about to excuse himself and return to the classroom, feeling his own embarrassment rise like shame on his face.
"I will be joining Petra and Moses for dinner tonight. The kumpania will be breaking up and moving into winter headquarters. They have brought the vardos," Snape turned slightly, "the wagons, to Hogsmeade and will encamp near Hogwarts down in the meadow by Hagrid's hut. Would you like to join us?"
Harry gulped and nodded, feeling pleased. "Yes, yes I'd like that."
Snape nodded and said, "Meet me at the gate this evening after supper and we will walk." Then Snape turned to face him more directly. "You may invite your friends as well."
Harry held back the smile threatening to break out on his face. He answered calmly, "I will, thank you."
Snape dropped his head for a moment. "There is something I wish to tell you."
"It's not necessary," Harry said, suddenly very frightened. "I'm going to live with Remus at the end of term. We are good for one another. Still, I think here is a lot of room in my life for other people, lots of room. It's going to take time, I think to sort out my life."
"I want you to know that I think you are incredibly brave," Snape said quietly, studying him with a blank expression. "I'm very proud of you."
Harry felt his heart leap in his chest. He fought off what he wanted to say by asking another question, "Will Ramond be in the camp with Petra and Moses?"
Snape seemed mildly surprised and shook his head. "I will see him from time to time, but he is with his people."
"I'm sorry," Harry said, kindly. "I'm sure you'll miss him."
"I am not his real father," Snape said. There was no sign of pain in the eyes, there was nothing to read there.
Harry backed up and headed for the door and said quickly, "Thank you for the invitation." He returned to the classroom and made a half-hearted attempt to produce the potion. Snape made no comment when the time was up and he handed in a vial of sticky yellow stuff in the bottom of it that wasn't anything like Hermione's golden liquor.
…..
The sun scorched the western sky a deep orange as it began it's journey to the other side of the world. Harry and Ron and Hermione joined Snape at the gates to Hogwarts. They were all dressed in casual clothing.
They walked in the twilight in silence. They could see the lights dancing in the distance, smell the wood smoke and hear the music being played as they walked towards the woods and the open meadow near Hagrid's hut.
Harry took in the deep fragrant smell of grass, the pine pitch of the tall firs in the woods and lagged behind a step. He watched with amusement as Hermione slipped an arm through Snape's and Ron's arms as they walked along. The two men didn't miss a step.
They walked towards the encampment and Harry could see the shadows of the dancers and the people milling around bonfires. Drums were pulsing in the darkness and a lone figure played a fiddle. He smiled to himself as he envisioned Moses strolling around the fire playing. It felt good to be alive and heading towards a party and yet his heart ached. Snape had not been able to tell him the truth.
He stopped as they neared the ring of light. A soft voice brushed past his ear like a dandelion floating on the wind. He remembered it, the child voice of the half-elf, half-gypsy, Ramond. It said, "Mi Phral (my brother), T'aves mansa, (come with me)," Harry could hear the Rom words. There were some he did not understand.
Harry stopped and leaned against a tree just outside the circle of burning fires and people and wagons.
"He says, 'Come and dance with me, brother. We will ride the wind together.' It was Snape's voice. He was standing behind him in the dark. The half-elf child had used a human as a conduit once again. A moment later, Snape spoke again, this time the elf child's voice was not present. "Ramon sends his greetings."
"Is he with you like that all the time?" Harry asked.
"No," came the reply. "He knows when I need to see him and he comes then."
Harry turned and said, "Dumbledore knew didn't he? He knew about my mother and you. He must have, he always seems to know everything," Harry continued to watch the camp activity. "That's why he trusted you."
Snape stood in the dark and didn't speak.
Harry pushed himself away from the tree and started back to the castle, brushing past the man. He couldn't join the group feeling the way he did.
"Harry..." Snape stopped him.
"The truth is not going to change my mind about James Potter or my mother," Harry whispered. "I've lived all my life believing they were my parents. As far as I'm concerned they were my parents and they loved me. But I've grown up and I've learned that my mother loved two men and one of them is still alive. It doesn't matter who was there first. She loved them both. What everyone fails to understand is that I can't feel them or talk to them or have them sitting in the Quidditch stands cheering for me. I don't have them here!" He pointed his finger at the ground in frustration. "I can't touch them and you should understand that!"
There was a long pause and then he continued, glancing back in Snape's direction. "I've decided it's okay to start all over again and not let the memory of Voldemort haunt me forever." He stopped, breathless, feeling tears welling up inside. "If we never speak to each other again I want you to know I wouldn't feel ashamed to tell people...that your my father. You had two sons and one of them is still here. I'm sorry you lost your wife and child, I'm sorry at the way things turned out for both of us," he said quickly and turned away again. "I won't tell anyone, you know, not if you don't want me to."
"Lupin..." Snape began.
"No!" Harry snapped. "I want to be with Remus because I care about him, but that does not mean there can be no one else in my life! Now, what is it going to take for you to stop denying me?" he asked, pleading with the man standing in the dark. There was silence. "Fine! I guess I have my answer." He headed into the dark back towards the school.
There was moment of silence and then Snape called after him, "Chavo!"
Harry stopped, his back turned to the man. Snape walked up behind him and said, "Real courage is when you know you've been defeated before you begin, and yet you begin anyway and see it through to the end, no matter the outcome. That is what I saw in you over the past few weeks. If I should fail to show the same amount of courage, then I am failing you. I don't deserve this- a relationship with you-but I cannot turn you away. Don't give up on me."
Harry turned and saw the flickering firelight wash over Snape's face; there was something there that pulled at his heart and he struggled not to go to him. He stood waiting and the man finally stepped forward and offered his hand. "Come and join me. We'll walk into camp together."
Latcho Drom (Happy Journey) Natasha