Sorry for not updating in a while, I kind of experienced writers block. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer so I just posted what I had. Sorry if it's lame, I couldn't think of any other way to end it. Well, hope you like what I have. N-joy!

DISCLAIMER: The Legend of Zelda doesn't belong to me, that would be kewl though. Still don't remember who created it.

The last time we were with our non-heroic animal heroes, they decided to go find Link! Because NO cheesy legend of Zelda story is anything without Link. Anyway, they were trekking through Hyrule field when the sun decided to go down.

"Damn it, I was hoping we'd make it before sun down." Sage said.
"This is Hyrule; you'll never make it from Hyrule market to Kokiri forest before the sun goes down." Linda said.

"Quick! Everyone on to the trail!" Sage ordered. They all just looked at Sage, "what?"
"What trail?" Cheyenne asked. Sage looked around and didn't see the trail "Crap."
"Why do we need a trail? We know where Kokiri forest is." Linda said.
"Ya, but at night the Stalchildren come out, and the only way to avoid them is to stay on the trail."
"This information might've been a bit more helpful if you told us before we headed off to nowhere-ville." Steph said.

Sage looked around a little more "Let's just keep going and try not to get killed by skeletons."
"Like we didn't think of that already." Linda commented. "Shut up and keep walking." Sage said.

The group kept walking while keeping an eye out for dead people. They started hearing the ground being dug open and Stalchildren crawling out of them. "What was that?" Steph and Cheyenne said, looking around frantically trying to see the oncoming enemies. Sage and Linda could see just fine, but what they saw wasn't a welcoming committee.

"I have a bad feeling in my stomach." Steph said nervously.
"Well… We are about to die." Linda said.
"You are the worst consoler EVER!" Steph screamed.
"No one ever appreciates honesty anymore…"

"GUYS, GET US OUT OF HERE!" Sage screamed. Steph and Linda (Cheyenne was on Stephs back and Sage was on Lindas) ran through the Stalchildren as fast as they could. After getting out of the crowd of Stalchildren, Linda saw a nearby tree. She jumped on it and climbed to safety. Sage and Linda looked around to see where Steph and Cheyenne were, but they were missing! OMG RIGHT?!

"Where'd they go?" Sage asked. Linda was trying to catch her breath while watching the Stalchildren try to reach for them "Beats me, I wasn't exactly looking for them."
Sage rolls her eyes "Gee, you're helpful."
"I didn't see you do anything but hitch a ride on my back."

After a night of watching Stalchildren jump around like morons and eventually falling asleep, the sun comes up. Sage squints at the bright light, then rubs her eyes and yawns. She nudges Linda who was curled up beside her. No movement. She nudges a little harder, but Linda slips out of the tree with a big thud.

"whoops."

Linda stands up groggily, and rubs her head "The hell just happened?"
Sage looks down at her "Uh… You rolled off the tree."
"Oh…"
"Heh…Ya."

Sage climbs down the tree and joins Linda "So… Should we go look for Cheyenne and Steph?"
Linda stretches "I say we go get Link. That is why we came all the way out here."
"Ya, but what if they're in trouble?"
"Every mammal for themselves."
"They're both birds…"
"Same difference. Now let's get outta here."

Linda turns around to walk away, then turns back to Sage "I'm not sure where we're going anymore."
"Figures…"

For a while, they just walked around aimlessly until they came to a small group of trees. As they walked further through the trees, they see these two big tree trunks planted parallel to each other (crappy description, I know). They recognize it as the pathway leading to the bridge that leads to Kokiri forest…. If that made sense. They were walking through the pathway when Linda looked up and saw Kaepora Gaebora, I don't really care much for his name, so I'll call him owl.

Linda glared at the owl and he glared back. "You better keep walking you furry son of a bitch." Linda looked at the owl in astonishment. She never thought the owl would talk like that to anyone. She faced forward and kept walking, trying to ignore the owls glare.
"asshole…" She muttered to herself.

Sage and Linda walked through the huge log thing and stopped on the bridge. They saw Saria and Link talking to each other.
"Wouldn't it be awkward if we just saw them making out or something?" Linda asked.

"You're such a freak."

They looked up when they heard footsteps. Link was running away from Saria, but he didn't see our furry zeroes. Of course he tripped over their sorry asses, what did you expect?

"What did I trip on?" Link asked, sitting up and rubbing his head. "A rat and a Raccoon. I told you to watch out." A horribly annoying shrill voice replied. Link stood up and looked down at the dazed animals. Realization hit him and he leaned over them. "I'm so sorry; I hope you're not dead!" He panicked.

Linda groaned "Did I just get hit by a green truck?" she asked no one in particular. "Shut up Linda." Sage said. Link and Navi looked at the animals with astonishment.

"I… I see a light." Linda said.
"I doubt you're dying."
"Maybe it's an orange."
"What?"

The two animals look up at Link and Navi, who still have the same expression. Both give them a funny look "What?" They both said in unison.

"You can talk." Link said.
"So can you." Linda said.
"But you're an animal."
"And you're an elf."
"I'm a Kokiri."
"That's not what Bobby said."
"This conversation isn't gonna get anywhere." Sage said.

After the boring introductions, Linda explains why Link should help them.

"Our friend is going to be slaughtered with a hammer if we don't go save her from the demons that live in the Hyrule castle. They want to sacrifice her feet to the guru guy that lives down the street! And then they're going to give her hair to the priest that lives next to the guru guy!"

Sage gave Linda a menacing look while Link and Navi gave her a confused/horrified look. "You're an idiot." Sage said. Linda shrugged; they looked up at Link and Navi. The two still looked shocked.

"You guys have no other facial expressions, do you?" Sage asked.

"I'm trying to get over the fact that you're talking animals." Link replied.
"You should drink milk." Navi said.
Linda looked at Sage "Told you she only says worthless crap nobody cares about."
"I kind of don't care right now." Sage said.
"Do you have a problem with me fat ass!" Navi screamed at Linda.
Everyone stared at Navi.
"What?!"

"…You're kind of a bitch." Linda said.
"Shut up! You're a fat ass raccoon!"
". . . Bitch."

Sage sighs and looks up at Link "Uh… I know you're not clear on the details, but could you help us rescue our friend who's stuck in the castle? And maybe find our other two friends…"
Link looked down at Sage and smiled "No problem."

"BIG problem!" Navi interrupted.
"What's the problem, we're animals in need. Help us and we won't be forced to give you rabies!" Linda said.
"You have rabies?" Link and Sage asked.
"I don't know, maybe"
"You're a stupid raccoon."
"And you're a whiny bitch."

"Will you guys stop, it's annoying." Sage said. Link nodded "We should go; I would like to get to the castle before nightfall."
"NO! I don't want to fight those Stalchildren again!" Linda cried.
"Stalchildren?" Link asked.
"You'll see when we get into Hyrule field… and the sun goes down." Sage said.
"If you say so."

The quartet walked through the log and was stopped by the owl. Linda hid behind Link.

"Good morning sunshine!" The owl chirped.

Link looked at the owl in amazement. He's never seen such a huge bird before. He imagined the great deku tree and the huge bird having a fight to the death to see who was stronger. Then he remembered that the great deku tree was dead. He was about to go into a sad memory montage when Navi suddenly screamed in his ear, surprising him.

"Huh!… What?"
"What are you, stupid?! LOOK!"

Link looked around and noticed Linda and the owl fighting. Sage crawled onto his shoulder. "You might want to get use to this, she does that a lot."
They watch as Linda barely dodges the owls claws.
"This is a good time to see if that bird's any good."
Navi and Sage give Link an awkward look which he was too busy watching the fight to notice.
"Link! Don't just stand there, do something!" Navi ordered.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Stop them!"

Link sighed and walked towards the fighting animals. He quickly grabbed Linda and ran back towards Sage and Navi.
"Don't come over here!" They both screamed, running away. Link looked behind him and noticed the owl was chasing after him… or Linda. He picked up speed and eventually caught up to Sage and Navi. They ran across Hyrule field as fast as they could.

After about an hour, the owl gave up and flew away. The group collapsed to the floor.
"What. The. HELL!" Navi screamed.
The other two looked at Linda with the same expression as Navi.
"He started it!" Linda said in defense. The others glared at her, "didn't you see the look he gave me!"
"So the whole thing was just about the way he looked at you?!" Navi screamed again.
". . . You would've done the same thing."

Everyone gave Linda a death glare. She looked to the ground "I'm…Sorry."
"Now was that so hard?" Sage asked.
"Yes."

Link looked at their surroundings "You guys wouldn't happen to know where we are, would you?"
"Hyrule field." Navi said.
"I'm sure he already knew that." Linda said.
"No one asked the fat ass."
"I hate you."
"Are you guys ever going to get along?" Link asked.
"Probably not." they both said.

I'd like to thank everyone who read the story thus far. I appreciate you! See ya next chapter!