After many hours of fighting their way through dancing moblins, they finally make it to the little clearing where they last saw Saria sitting on a tree stump seven years ago. Link walks up to the tree stump and stares at it miserably. The girls glance at each other before walking up to Link.

"I'm sure she's just fine Link." Stephanie reassured.

"Yeah, keep a stiff upper lip good fellow." Sage said in a British accent, "there's no way Saria would lose her life so easily when she's got a great friend like you worrying about her." She finished in her normal tone. Everyone looks at Sage with surprised expressions.

"Did you read that off of a Hallmark card?" Cheyenne asked.

"I can surprise people from time to time . . . but I really do mean it." Sage said, looking up at Link sympathetically.

Link smiles and pats Sage's head "Thanks, but I think it's really just because everything is starting to sink in; Ganondorf taking over Hyrule, Zelda missing, and everyone suffering . . ." he said with a sigh.

"But you're here now." Cheyenne said.

"What if I'm too late?" Link asked.

"Link, you don't have time to worry or sulk around, the fate of Hyrule is depending on you!" Navi said.

"He's the Hero of Time! He has plenty of time to sulk around or learn to play chess or hell; he can even pick his ass!" Sage shouted before turning to whisper to Cheyenne, "This must be why she has no friends." Cheyenne nods.

Linda jumps on Links' shoulder "If you feel like crying you can use me as a handkerchief." she said while rubbing against his face jokingly.

Link chuckles while waving Linda's tail away from his mouth "Thanks, but Navi's right, the faster I save Hyrule the faster things will go back to the way they were."

"But what about-" Linda started, but was interrupted by a few thuds and a loud crash. Everyone turns their attention to where the noise came from.

"Sheik . . ." Sage said dully. Sheik had fallen from a tree with his face in the ground

"Should've known." Stephanie said. Sheik begins coughing nervously and pushes himself off the ground.

"Why the hell are you dressed up as Speed Racer?" Linda asked.

"It's just another dumb costume the authoress put me in." Sheik clears his throat, "Anyway, I came here to teach Link a song."

"What kind of song?" Link asked.

"A teleporting song; if you play this song then you'll be teleported back to that platform over there." Sheik said, motioning to the platform.

"Sounds useful; teach it to me." Link said.

"Before you do, tell us where Chim-Chim is." Sage said.

"And where the Mach 5 is." Linda added.

"Look, I don't know anything about the costumes the authoress makes me wear okay? I think she just makes me wear them to make me look like an idiot." Sheik said.

"She didn't have to put you in costumes to do that." Linda said.

"You know what I just realized?" Cheyenne said.

"What?" Sage asked.

"I haven't done a 'this is glaring at me' joke for some time." Cheyenne said.

"That's true, why don't you do one right now?" Stephanie asked.

"Um . . . Sheik is . . ." Cheyenne said, trying to think of something to say, "no it's not going to work here." She shook her head.

"There will be a chance where you can say your lame ass joke again; and when you do the angels will sing to the heavens while playing Uno and eating deviled eggs!" Sage said.

"Deviled eggs are nasty." Stephanie stated.

"Are my jokes really that lame?" Cheyenne asked a little hurt.

They suddenly heard Link playing his ocarina and turned to see Sheik playing along with a handheld harp. After Link memorizes the song Sheik nods his head in approval. Link smiles and opens his mouth to say something but Sheik unties the red bandana he had around his neck and throws it at Link's face. Link pulls the bandana off his face only to see Sheik running away.

"Well I'm thoroughly confused." Link stated.

"Bitch, you better bring Chim-Chim with you next time!" Sage shouted to Sheik.

"Now that we have the song it's time to go into the forest temple." Linda said.

"Sure, but how do I get in there?" Link asked.

"Use the hook shot you got from Dampe to latch on to that tree and it's right through that doorway." Linda explained while pointing to the tree then the doorway.

Link nods and pulls out the hook shot. He stares at it for a while trying to figure out how it works. Then he points it at the tree branch, launches it, and he's pulled to the tree when it latches on. Cheyenne and Stephanie fly to him while Sage and Linda just climb the vines on the decrepit building.

When they go through the doorway they're suddenly attacked by two wolfos! Link brings out his sword and shield just as a woflos takes a swipe at him.

"Stab him in the gut!" Linda shouted.

"Cut his face off!" Cheyenne shouted.

"Why does this battle have to be something gruesome? I mean, it's only a wolfos." Navi said.

"And that is why you're not the Hero of Time." Linda said.

"It's also why you're not the Hero of Time either." Navi said irritably.

"The more you talk, the more I want to eat you, but then realize you taste like shit and spit your pasty white ass back out." Linda said.

"Can't you think of anything else besides eating? Your fat ass is an embarrassment to raccoons everywhere." Navi said.

"And you're an embarrassment to dust bunnies everywhere." Linda replied. They hear a piercing howl and turn to Link who just killed the wolfos.

"I guess we go inside now." Link said, out of breath.

Stephanie looks around "Where the hell did the other wolf thing go?"

"Oh, as I was fighting that one wolfos, the other one tripped over a tree root, fell, and hit its head on the wall." Link explained.

"The Wolfos here are smart." Sage said sarcastically.

"You need to get the key that's on top of that tree." Linda said while pointing at said tree.

Link looks towards the top of the tree and groans "Who would put a key up there?"

"Quit your bitching and go get it." Sage said.

The girls watch as Link hook shots his way to the top of the tree. When he gets there he notices a small chest and goes to it. He kneels down to open it but just as his fingers touch the lid, it bursts open! He jerks back in surprise as a jack-in-the-box clown character pops out of the chest.

The clown character chuckles "So you think you can take my key, do ya?" he asked in a squeaky voice.

"Look, I don't want to cause any trouble. I just need the key so I can . . . actually I'm not sure what I'll be using the key for." Link said.

The clown character looks at Link like he's an idiot "So you can open locked doors in the temple."

"There are locked doors in the temple?" Link asked.

The clown character rolls his eyes "Of course you idiot, why wouldn't there be?"

"Well normally when you think of a temple you think of a place where someone goes to worship the Goddesses or something, right?" Link asked. The clown character nodded. "Then why would you lock the door? What if someone wanted to go worship late at night? They wouldn't be able to get in."

"You don't go to this temple to worship!" The clown character said.

"Then why call it a temple? If there is no religious practice of any kind going on here, why is it called a temple?" Link asked.

"It's where the sages' come and pray to the Goddesses!" The clown character shouted.

"Well why didn't you say that in the first place?" Link asked.

"Because I just made it up!" The clown character shouted.

"So there isn't any worshiping going on here?" Link asked.

The clown character roars in frustration before rummaging around the treasure chest for the key "You know what, you little questioning son of a bitch," he throws the key at Link's face, "just take the damn key! Take it and don't come back here!" he grabs the chest lid and slams it shut.

Link shrugs then grabs the small key and climbs down to where his friends are.

"Did you get it?" Stephanie asked. Link shows them the small key.

"Yay, Link's first small key!" Linda sang.

"I'm sure it's very exciting." Cheyenne said dully.

"Sure, but I still don't understand why there are locked doors-" Link spoke.

"No, no, no, and NO! We heard you arguing with whatever was up there and we're not having it. Now get your ass inside the temple." Sage said. Link grumbled to himself, but headed into the temple anyway.

When they went in they were inside a small corridor. As they walked further in, a ferocious man-eating skulltula descended from the ceiling! But Link easily got rid of it by shooting it with his hook shot. They open the door to the main room where they see four brightly lit torches surrounding a weird platform thing. As they got closer, the four torch fires turn into four different colored ghostly figures; purple, red, blue, and green. They all laughed and flipped Link off before disappearing into the walls. As they disappeared, the platform in the middle of the torches went into the ground.

"Those things were kind of rude." Link stated.

"Annoying too." Cheyenne added.

"Why did that platform thing go underground?" Navi asked.

"Because gravity's a bitch." Sage replied.

"That doesn't explain much." Navi said.

"Good, I didn't want it to." Sage said.

"Are we supposed to go through that door?" Link asked, pointing to the door on top of the stone staircase opposite to them.

"Yes, but this time, let's stick together." Linda said.

"Now that you mention it, we normally do end up separating when we enter dungeons and whatnot." Stephanie said.

"I don't particularly mind." Navi said.

"That's because you always end up with Link." Linda pouted.

"I have to, I'm his guide." Navi said.

"Pretty shitty guide if you ask me." Linda muttered.

"Well it's a good thing I didn't ask you." Navi said.

They walk up the staircase and Link opens the door. They come to another small corridor where they encounter a blue bubble, or those floating skulls surrounded by blue fire. It charges at Link, but Link brings his shield up and it bounces off. The blue flame goes out and the skull is left defenseless. Link cuts the skull in half with his sword and our heroes continue on. It was empty in the next room they entered; just two pots on the opposite wall to them. Link took a step forward and two Stalfos suddenly pop out of the ground; everyone jumps in surprise.

"Son of bitch that scared me." Cheyenne said.

"I think I'm actually getting used to all these random monsters popping out of nowhere." Stephanie declared happily, "I didn't feel like pooping myself this time."

Link takes a fighting stance and one of the Stalfos jumps at him. Link rolls out of the way and the Stalfos lands in front of the animals. It looks down at them and yells out a nasty war cry. Link slashes it in the back and after losing some back bones (:D), it turns around to continue the battle.

"Well, now I feel like pooping myself." Stephanie said, quivering.

"These Stalfos smell bad." Sage said.

"They are dead." Linda replied. She turns to Cheyenne and notices her cowering on the floor, "Are you going to be able to make it through the rest of the temple Cheyenne?" she asked. Sage and Stephanie look over at Cheyenne.

"Their eyes," Cheyenne peeped, "Their glaring eyes . . ."

"Hey you found a good time to make a 'glaring at me' joke, good for you." Linda said, patting Cheyenne's wing.

"Uno and deviled eggs for everyone." Sage said.

"Ew . . ." Stephanie responded.

"It's like they want to kill my family and take what's left of my Captain Crunch cereal. . ." Cheyenne said as she goes into the fetal position, "and when they finish throwing out all my potted plants they'll tear out my cute teddy bear wallpaper." She said then began to cry.

"Cheyenne . . ." Sage says as she puts a comforting hand on Cheyenne's wing, "I seriously want to know where you're getting these drugs."

"Yeah man, share the wealth." Linda said.

Stephanie glares at her friends "Can't you see she's seriously bothered by those Stalfos things?! She must be in a great deal of shock that her brain is making up these half-baked stories!"

"Like half-baked cookies?" Linda asked.

"Just more outrageous." Sage replied.

"Half-baked cake?" Linda asked.

"More like . . . a half-baked pizza with asparagus." Sage replied.

"Ooooh." Linda said and nodding her head in understanding.

"Sometimes I think you guys are on drugs." Stephanie said, displeased.

They look over and see Link deliver the final blow to the second Stalfos. After the stalfos's remains disappear into thin air a treasure chest appears . . . out of thin air. Link opens it and pulls out another small key.

"Why do I need another one of these?" Link asks.

"Probably because there's more than one locked door." Navi replied.

"Why are they locking so many doors in one temple?!" Link asked, a little frustrated.

"Because they know it pisses you off." Sage replied.

"Just don't let it get to you Link." Navi said. Link nods.

"Here Cheyenne, you can ride on my back until you're feeling better." Stephanie said. Cheyenne climbs on to Stephanie's back.

"Onward!" Linda shouted, pointing to the only door leading out of the room.

They made their way back to the main room and climbed the stone staircase to the right of them; which had a locked door at the end. Link unlocked the door and they continued into another corridor with a big skulltula hanging from the ceiling. After easily getting rid of it they go into the next room; the one where you push the huge red and green blocks in the direction of where the arrows on the ground point to.

Just as Link shuts the door behind him a blue bubble comes floating towards them. Link readies his sword and shield, but the bubble is suddenly shot with an arrow and turns into a pile of ash. The group stares blankly at what used to be the blue bubble.

"Uh . . ." Stephanie spoke.

"No need for your applause . . . or your panties!" a girly voice shouted before snort laughing.

The animals cringe at the sound of the annoying pig-like laugh. They all look to their right where they see Kris standing on a small ledge.

"Hey, you're that pig we saw seven years ago." Navi said.

"Actually we met once or twice after you and Link went into the Sacred Realm." Cheyenne said.

"I can't say we really enjoyed her company though." Stephanie added.

"ENOUGH!" Kris shouted, causing everyone to jump "I just came here to rid Link of his tumors!" The animals look up at Link questionably and he shrugs.

"I think you got the wrong Link." Sage said.

"Yeah, if Link had a tumor I'd be the first to know because I make everything about him my business." Linda said.

"Oh please . . ." Navi muttered.

Link scratches the back of his head "So . . . how exactly did you want to get rid of my imaginary tumors?"

"Like this!" Kris shouted as light energy balls started forming in her two upper pig feet. She begins throwing energy balls at the animals and chasing them around the room.

"My tail!" Linda shouted as an energy ball grazes the tip of her tail.

"You bitch! What the hell?!" Sage shouted.

Kris laughs maniacally "What, afraid I'm going to kick your ass again?!" Stephanie and Cheyenne fly up behind her and tackle her to the ground.

"Not as long as you're the one being outnumbered this time!" Cheyenne yelled. The animal's dog pile Kris.

"Get off me you pecker heads!" Kris said as she struggled against the weight of the other animals.

"Consider this payback for kidnapping Kayla and Sean!" Sage said before giving Kris a wet-willy.

"AAH! IT BURNS!" Kris screamed.

The animals start pulling Kris's tail, flicking her nose, or using her as a trampoline. Kris is huddled on the ground yelling for them to stop. They finally stop when Link comes over and pulls them away from her.

"Stop acting like a bunch of little kids! We're not here to play games!" Navi screamed.

"Navi's right, "Link says as he helps Kris off the ground, "If you just came here to cause trouble for my friends, it is better if you leave. I don't want you guys getting hurt more then you already are."

"But Link she's-" Linda tried to protest.

"I don't care if she's Ganondorf's daughter, she's obviously not that much of a threat so you either get along or go wait for me outside the temple." Link lectured. Linda frowns, but nods anyway.

"How did you know I was Ganondorf's daughter?" Kris asked.

"Rauru told me while I was in the Sacred Realm." Link answered.

"And you're okay with having me around?" Kris asked; a little surprised.

"Don't get me wrong, I'll be watching you very carefully if you decide to come along with us, but if you don't cause any trouble we'll be fine." Link said.

Kris looks at Link endearingly "That's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me."

"It is?" They all said in unison.

"Yeah . . . it makes me feel a little guilty to do THIS!" Kris said as she brought out a small remote control and pressed a big red button. They hear a cage door swing open from somewhere on the ceiling. They all look up and see a group of wall Masters falling down towards them.

"What are those things?" Link asked.

"Wall Masters, whatever you do, don't let them grab-" Sage said, but was interrupted by Link's screaming and being grabbed by a Wall Master, "-you . . . never mind then."

"AH! What are you doing you idiots?!" Kris screamed as one of the Wall Masters grabbed her and was dragging her away.

"That's what you get you dumb bi-" Cheyenne shouted until she was also grabbed by one of the Wall Masters, "AAH! Let me go!"

"I'll save you Chey- Oh you son of a bitch let me go!" Sage screamed as she was also carried away.

It wasn't long before all our heroes were picked up and carried to random parts of the temple! Who didn't see this coming?!

*Link and Navi*

They were thrown into the room where Link must fight three Stalfos to get the bow and quiver. Besides a hole in the floor that gets filled by a falling platform and a timed fighting sequence not much went on.

*Cheyenne*

She was thrown into the roulette room before the boss room. Unfortunately she was stuck there because the elevator wouldn't work unless the ghost flames were in place. So she basically just sat there hoping somebody will show up some time soon.

"I said, let me go!" Kris's voice echoed throughout the stone room.

Cheyenne flew to the top of one of the stone . . . I guess you could call them turning devices since they spin the room. Cheyenne keeps herself out of view from Kris and the Wall Master that brought her in. She couldn't understand how Kris or the Wall Master could communicate, but I guess Kris understood sign language and the Wall Master understood English. The Wall Master signed something to Kris and she looked even more pissed.

"He's the one that sent me here! Why am I being punished for doing what he told me to do?!" Kris shouted.

The Wall Master ignored Kris and disappeared into a nearby wall, leaving her and Cheyenne alone. Kris kicked the elevator in frustration and sat down. Cheyenne looked down at Kris, wondering how long she was going to be stuck in here with her. As she stood up her wing brushed against a small rock causing it to roll off the stone turning device and catch Kris's attention. Kris snapped her head up to where Cheyenne stood.

"Um . . . Hi . . ." Cheyenne said nervously.

*Sage*

She was dropped into the room with the checkerboard floor and falling ceiling. With no weapon she wasn't able to kill the big skulltula's hanging from the ceiling, and with no long legs she wasn't able to run to the other side of the room. Even if she managed to get to the other side she would have to step on a switch to open the barred door; which she wasn't heavy enough to do. So unfortunately she had to resort to doing nothing but sitting there as well . . . go figure.

"I hate this chapter . . ." Sage mumbled. :P

*Linda*

She was dropped in the garden area where the well and ruins are. She's been fighting with the deku baba next to the door leading the way out and with the octorok that was in the small pond. Nothing like a good game of Go Fish!

"Do you have any King's?" The Octorok asked Linda.

"Go fish." Linda responded.

"Don't lie to me! I know your bluffing face!" The Octorok shouted.

"Get your head out your ass, I don't have any." Linda said.

"What'd you say you little-" The Octorok said as he tried reaching over to grab Linda, but the deku baba held him back with one of its leaves.

"Just calm down Jeff, if she says she doesn't have the card then she doesn't have the card." The deku baba said.

"Don't tell me to calm down! This little butt munch is lying and I know it!" The Octorok shouted.

"Now there's no need for harsh name calling, if you just take a deep breath and give your nerves some time to cool down you'll come to see that you're overreacting." The deku baba explained.

"You know what, F**k this game, I'm done!" The Octorok shouted before throwing his cards down, "I'M DONE!" he disappears under the water.

The deku baba shakes his head "I'm sorry, he gets like that sometimes."

"It's cool; we all get angry for no reason sometimes." Linda said with a smile, "So . . . got any King's?"

*Stephanie*

She was thrown into the blue poe's room, I believe her name is Beth. For a while, Stephanie tried opening both doors in this area, but couldn't because she doesn't have opposable thumbs. When she gave up she decided to try talking to Beth, but every time Stephanie would get close to one of the picture frames Beth was in she would disappear into another picture. When she gave up doing that she just settled down next to the door at the bottom of the stairs. Of course, that didn't stop Beth from messing with her.

"Psst . . . Psst . . . Hey you." Beth whispered. Stephanie ignored her, "hey bird brain . . . Psst . . . what do you call a fly with no wings . . . A walk." Beth giggled.

Stephanie sighed in frustration "Just go back to one of those picture framed and leave me alone!"

"Oooh . . . you made bro?" Beth asked.

"Go away!" Stephanie shouted.

"I was tormented by a ghost once." Beth whispered.

"What?" Stephanie asked, sort of confused.

"Until I sent her to hell!" Beth said then giggled again.

". . . Did you even try on that one?" Stephanie asked.

Yeah, that joke kind of sucked." Beth said, looking at the ground in shame.

"Oh, I got one," Stephanie chimed, "Why was the skeleton looking sad at the dance party? Because he had no BODY to dance with!" Stephanie said before laughing hysterically.

"I think we both need to learn better jokes . . ." Beth said.

"Whatever, that joke was funny and you know it." Stephanie said.

"Like hell it was, I didn't even crack a smile." Beth said.

"Well you can just go straight to hell then." Stephanie said.

"At least it'd be more fun than listening to your lame jokes." Beth said.

"Just go back to your picture frame; I didn't want to talk to you in the first place." Stephanie said.

Beth frowned then turned toward the stairs and started floating away. She sighed and turned back towards Stephanie "I'm sorry . . ." she said miserably.

Stephanie looked at Beth ". . . Yeah, me too. Sorry . . ."

"Friends?" Beth asked.

Stephanie smiled and nodded "The best."

They start walking to each other to share a hug until Beth is suddenly shot with an arrow and bursts into flames. Stephanie gasps and turns to the direction the arrow came from.

I was hoping to get the forest temple plot all in one chapter, but I guess not. Oh well . . . . okay bye. :D