"Link!" Stephanie shouted happily.

"Are you okay?" Link asked, putting his newly obtained bow away.

Stephanie looks at the flame that used to be Beth then turns back to Link with a smile "Yeah, she was annoying me anyway."

"She?" Link asked.

"That ghost thing you just shot and killed." Stephanie said.

"That was a ghost?" Link asked. Stephanie and Navi give Link a displeased look.

"What exactly did you think it was?" Navi asked.

"I didn't even see it; I was just shooting my bow." Link said.

"Why?" Navi asked.

Link shrugged "It seemed like a good time to test it out."

"What if you had hit me?!" Stephanie asked, kind of irritated.

"I would have apologized." Link said. Stephanie glared at him.

"Do you know where the other idiots are?" Navi asked Stephanie.

"The only idiot I see is you." Stephanie said irritably.

"Geez, are you turning into Linda or Sage?" Navi asked, surprised.

"No, but you called me an idiot so I just defended myself." Stephanie said.

"Oh, sorry, I've had the urge to insult someone for thirty minutes but no one to insult." Navi said.

*Cheyenne and Kris*

Kris is sitting next to the elevator while Cheyenne sat against one of the stone turning devices. Kris found a twig and has been poking at the ground with it for about twenty minutes. Cheyenne was rocking back and forth while shaking rather violently.

"Find your happy place, find your happy place, find your god damn happy place." Cheyenne muttered to herself.

Kris stops poking at the ground to look at Cheyenne's shaking body. She sighs and tosses the twig to the side "Look, I'm not going to do anything. I'm being locked down here just like you."

Cheyenne stops moving and looks over at Kris "What are you talking about?"

Kris looks at Cheyenne like she's an idiot "Aren't you acting all freaky and paranoid because it's just the two of us?"

"No, I tend to get like this when I think about pictures." Cheyenne explained.

". . . What?" Kris asked, confused.

"A lot of people in my family glare at the camera when they get their picture taken. So unfortunately I spent half of my childhood staring at unfriendly pictures that still haunt me to this day." Cheyenne said.

"That explains a lot . . . and yet I feel like it doesn't." Kris said.

"I could care less about us being in the same room, because you never fight alone so that tells me you're a pussy," Cheyenne spoke; Kris glared at her, "but I know there's mostly going to be an awkward silence while we're here."

"That's not true!" Kris said, kind of offended.

"We've been sitting here for twenty minutes doing and saying nothing." Cheyenne pointed out.

"If you want to know something all you have to do is ask." Kris said.

"Okay . . ." Cheyenne said, thinking of what to ask. "So . . . what's your mom like?"

"Geez, jumping right into the personal stuff aren't we?" Kris asked.

"No point in acting like I'm interested in anything else." Cheyenne said with a shrug.

Kris scratches the back of her head "Well . . . She's not around here anymore."

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't think about that when I asked." Cheyenne said.

"No, you misunderstood; she's alive, she's just not here in Hyrule anymore." Kris said.

"Where is she then?" Cheyenne asked.

". . . Kansas." Kris said hesitantly.

"Like . . . in America?" Cheyenne asked, surprised and confused. Kris nods her head. "But if you and your dad are here and your mom is in Kentucky-"

"Kansas" Kris corrected.

"Then why are you all animals?! Does that mean you know we're from America?! Or that we're not really animals?! Are you guys really human too?! Is the end of the world really going to happen?!" Cheyenne asked in a panic while flailing her wings around. Kris slaps her across the beak and she is brought back to her senses.

"Just calm down! With everything that's happened to you so far, is this small bit of information really the most shocking?" Kris asked.

Cheyenne blankly stares at the ceiling for a second then looks back at Kris "Yes, actually it is the most shocking."

Kris rolls her eyes "Well, just know that we're not . . . exactly what you think we are." She finished with a soft tone.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Cheyenne asked.

*Sage*

Sage has just been sitting around the checkerboard room waiting for Link to come and get her. At one point she started throwing stones at the skulltula hanging from the ceiling, but quickly got bored doing that. Finally the door opens and Sage's ears perk up. She looks over and sees Link walk in.

"Link! Thank God you're here! I'm about to go crazy out of my mind with boredom!" Sage yelled while running towards him. Link looked at the oncoming Sage with an odd stare. "What; is there something on my face?" Sage asked.

"Who are you?" Link asked.

Sage glared at Link "Did you fall and hit your head on a rock or something? How the hell could you forget me?! If this is some sick joke I'm not laughing!"

"I'm not joking; I have no idea who you are." Link said indifferently.

"Did Navi put you up to this?!" Sage asked while looking around for Navi, "speaking of which, where is Navi?"

"Who's Navi?" Link asked.

Sage stares blankly at Link "Okay, this is getting kind of weird."

"You're telling me." Link agreed.

Sage scratches the back of her head "Well, do you remember why you're here?"

"To take Kris back to the castle." Link replied.

"If Linda heard you say that she'd . . ." Sage paused and looked up at Link; getting a good look at him. "Sean?"

"Yeah . . .?" Lin-Sean responded.

"Holy shit it really is you!" Sage said happily, "What have you been doing this whole time?!"

Sean gave Sage an odd look "I still don't even know who you are."

"I guess those bastards brainwashed you." Sage mumbled, "But at least your speech has improved."

"What are you talking about?" Sean asked.

"Sean, what I'm about to tell you may come as a shock, but it's true and you should believe me cause it's true and I'm not lying cause it's true." Sage babbled.

"Okay . . ." Sean said, confused.

"You were created from my friends' hair in a lab next to Lake Hylia. When you were made you couldn't talk and while we were in the middle of your speaking lesson you were kidnapped by Kris." Sage explained.

Sean stares blankly at Sage ". . . and you expect me to believe this?"

". . . Yes" Sage replied irritably. Sean bursts out laughing and Sage gets annoyed, "It's the truth!"

"Like hell it is; and anyway, why would I believe someone I don't even know?" Sean said with a nasty attitude.

"It's the truth! I can prove it too! Just follow me and I can show you!" Sage said while stomping towards the door on the other side.

"Hold it!" Sean said.

"What?!" Sage asked irritably; turning towards Sean.

"I guess if you want to get squashed like a bug then by all means, keep walking." Sean said in a sarcastic tone. The ceiling falls to the ground and slowly lifts itself back up again.

"Heh . . ." Sage chuckled nervously.

"I'll humor you and follow you around so I can see if you're lying or not. Maybe I'll find Kris along the way." Sean said. He walks over to Sage and lifts her up on his shoulder. "Just tell me where we're going."

"Well for starters," Sage spoke, "do you have a bow or some sort of weapon?"

"I have a bow and other sorts of weapons." Sean replied.

"Good, then shoot those damn things down." Sage said as she pointed to the skulltulas on the ceiling.

"Not even a please or thank you?" Sean said in a mocking tone.

"Keep talking like that and you'll also forget the meaning of please and thank you." Sage said in the same tone.

After Sean shoots down the skulltulas, they make their way to the other side of the checkerboard room. They step on the switch that opens the door and go through it. In the next room there are five square shaped shadows on the floor and a big picture of one of the Poe sisters, Amy, on the wall to their left.

"Are we supposed to be here?" Sean asked.

"I can't say we're wanted here, but yes, we are." Sage replied.

"That door's barred shut." Sean pointed out; referring to the door on their right.

"Yeah, you have to shoot that picture with an arrow then put the puzzle together. And if that's not annoying enough for you, you also have to fight the Poe that comes out of the picture frame for the door to open." Sage explained.

"That seems more of a pain in the ass than it's worth." Sean said indifferently, "You want to do it?"

"Sure, let me get my rat sized bow so I can shoot the picture frame." Sage said sarcastically.

Sean chuckled "All right, calm down, I figured you'd respond that way." He spoke as he walks over to the barred door and puts Sage on the ground, "just don't get in the way."

Sage watches as Sean shoots the picture and the blocks fall to the ground. Then she proceeds to watch Sean's muscles flex as he pushes and pulls the blocks into place. "Damn . . . nice ass . . ." Sage said, obviously liking what she's seeing. After a while she comes back to her senses and tries to look elsewhere "Geez, I'm turning into a pervert . . . but I just can't look away." She says as her eyes are glued to Sean's ass.

After the blocks are put in place, Amy comes out of the picture frame! She starts charging at Sean, but stops for some reason and gives him a seductive look.

"Hey big boy," Amy said with a wink, "did you come to visit little old me?"

"Um . . . not particularly." Sean replied, confused and a little grossed out.

Amy giggles "Why don't you come into my picture frame over there and have some fun?"

Sean gives Amy a disgusted look "No, a hundred times no, you're dead and I'm no necrophiliac or spectrophiliac, whatever you call it."

Amy pouts as she flies up to Sean "Aww, don't be that way . . ." she rests her head on his chest and begins tracing circles on his arm with her index finger, "I won't bite."

Sean tries to push her away, but his hands go right through her "This is disgusting, get off me!"

"Noooo!" Amy cried while clinging on to Sean.

Sage watched Amy chases Sean around the room. She gets tired of watching them after a while then sighs and walks over to them.

"Sean, you know you can just shoot her with your bow right?" Sage pointed out.

Sean realized Sage was right and quickly brought his bow out to shoot Amy. Amy pleads for mercy, also trying to seduce Sean at the same time, but he happily shoots her anyway. She screeches then bursts into flames and the torch next to the barred door is lit. The bars blocking the door suddenly disappear!

"See what can happen when you put your mind to it!" Sage chimed.

"Push blocks around to summon some horny ghost so we can get into the next room? Not the best of deals I've been offered but I guess." Sean said.

"It could be worse." Sage pointed out.

"In all my life I've never been molested by a ghost." Sean said.

"Well, stick with me and you might get molested by a raccoon." Sage said. Sean gives her an odd look and she shrugs, "I'm just saying . . ."

They exit the room and end up back in the main room, but this time there's another Poe sister waiting for them by the four torches. I believe her name is Meg.

Sean groans "Not another one . . ."

"Unfortunately yes, hopefully she's not a cougar and will keep her dead hands off you." Sage said.

"Me too." Sean said.

"But if she does decide to grab your ass, I'm not helping. She creeps me out a little." Sage said.

"Maybe we won't have to deal with her." Sean said.

"What do you mean?" Sage asked.

Sean pulls out his bow and shoots Meg. The arrow hits her in the right eye and she screeches. She clutches her eye and tries to remove the arrow. Sage and Sean watch with disgust as Meg quickly pulls the arrow out and weird ghost puss spews out of her eye.

"SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU BASTARD?!" Meg cried.

"Um . . . sorry . . . I didn't want to get close to you." Sean replied.

"WHY DON'T YOU GROW A PAIR OF BALLS AND COME FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN?!" Meg yelled as she tries to stop her eye from bleeding.

"Well . . . because if I did try to fight you, my fists would just go through you." Sean pointed out.

"COWARD!" Meg shouted.

"Oh get over it, you're dead anyway." Sean said while rolling his eyes.

"Watch out!" Sage shouted.

While Sean was busy giving a sarcastic remark and rolling his eyes, Meg powered up some energy ball and threw it at them. Luckily Sean was able to grab Sage and jump out of the way just in time.

*Cheyenne and Kris*

After their last conversation, they've just been sitting beside each other in awkward silence. That is, until they heard a huge explosion coming from above them.

"What the hell was that?" Kris asked.

"Something either Linda or Sage caused." Cheyenne replied.

The elevator started going up so they backed away from it. A few minutes later the elevator started coming back down. Kris and Cheyenne look at each other nervously. The elevator reaches the ground then Sean and Sage walk off it.

"Sean?!" Kris asked in surprise.

"Sage!" Cheyenne said happily.

"Cheyenne!" Sage said, also happy.

"Link!" Cheyenne said happily.

"Sean." Sean corrected.

"Sean?" Cheyenne said questionably. Sean nodded and Cheyenne looked at Sage.

"We bumped into each other earlier and decided to help each other out a little." Sage explained.

"No, she told me some crack head theory about me being created in a laboratory, so to see if she was telling the truth I followed her here." Sean said.

"Yeah, well I guess that's true too." Sage said.

"But Sean, you were created in a laboratory . . . or, outside a laboratory." Cheyenne said.

Sean glares at Cheyenne "I'm still waiting for the proof to back that theory up."

Cheyenne hides behind Sage "He's glaring at me . . ."

"Just wait here until your proof comes, then you'll see that we're telling the truth." Sage said.

"I don't think so!" Kris chimed in, "We're very busy so we don't have time to listen to your stupid folktales!"

"We're not talking about some damn folktale! You kidnapped Sean and brainwashed him, and now you're trying to keep him from knowing the truth!" Sage argued.

"You don't know!" Kris shouted.

"Yes I do you dumb bitch! I was there when you kidnapped him and Kayla!" Sage shouted.

"Oh you mean that time when I kicked your ass?" Kris asked.

"You better stop acting all high and mighty about that unfair fight." Sage warned.

"You want to talk about unfair? What about the fight at the temple of time where you and your three friends ganged up on me?!" Kris shouted.

"We were defending our friend-" Sage started.

"Shut up, both of you!" Sean interjected, "why the hell am I the one having to take care of all these damn animals?! I'm tired of listening to each and every one of you! I'm leaving." He says as he suddenly waves his hand and a black hole appears in front of him. He gives the animals one last irritated glance before walking through it. The black hole begins to close and Kris jumps in. Sage and Cheyenne stare in awe as the hole completely disappears.

Sage was the first to snap back to reality "Son of a bitch! He didn't even stay to see Link!"

"What would showing him Link prove that he was made in a laboratory?" Cheyenne asked.

"Well I figured if he saw Link and realized they look almost identical then he would consider that I might be right." Sage explained.

"Or think that you're some crazy stalker that styled a man to look almost exactly like him." Cheyenne added.

" . . . I guess that's true." Sage agreed, "But I wouldn't waste my time styling someone after Link; that's more of something Linda would do." Cheyenne nodded.

*Link, Navi and Stephanie*

After getting lost many times, they finally make it back to the main room. But they noticed something was a little off; there was a huge hole in one of the staircases, the four torches were lit, and the elevator was back up.

"I guess we consider this a good thing?" Link asked.

"Why not? I mean, I don't even know what's going on." Stephanie said.

"Let's just see where that platform takes us." Navi said.

"What if we're taken to hell or something?" Stephanie asked.

"Nah, that's just the place where you fight the boss that's terrorizing this temple." A familiar voice said. They all look to where the voice is coming from and see Linda sitting on the stone railing of the staircase they're standing on.

"There you are! We've been looking for you!" Link said happily.

"Really?!" Linda said with a sparkle in her eye.

"More like, we got lost multiple times and kept an eye out for you just in case you showed up." Stephanie corrected.

"I'll take that as a yes." Linda said, still having that sparkle in her eye.

"I thought it was very peaceful without you around." Navi stated.

"Yeah, the air was calmer and less bitch-tacular without you around." Linda said.

"So where have you been?" Stephanie asked.

"Nowhere in particular; just stealing some rupees from poor Octoroks and deku babas. You know, the usual." Linda said, waving off the subject.

"You didn't cause too much trouble did you?" Link asked.

"Nah, well, a little, but not like that." Linda replied, motioning to the hole in the staircase.

"Then I'm assuming Sage had something to do with this." Navi said irritably.

"And if we're lucky, Cheyenne is with her and they already went down the elevator thing." Linda added.

"Well, there's only one way to find out." Link said.

They walk over to the elevator and ride it down. Sure enough, Sage and Cheyenne were waiting for them down below. Unfortunately, they didn't exactly look happy to see their returning friends.

"Why couldn't you have come ten minutes ago?" Sage asked irritably.

"Because I didn't even know where we were ten minutes ago." Link said.

"Can't you just be happy we're safe?" Navi asked.

"Of course I'm happy! Well, you're the exception." Sage said, referring to Navi, "but if you guys came ten minutes earlier I would've been happier."

"What are you talking about?" Stephanie asked.

" . . . Nothing, just . . . nothing." Sage said, her spirit crushed. The group that didn't see Sean looked at each other questionably.

"Why don't we just continue on?" Cheyenne suggested, "Now that Link's here we can get to the boss room."

"Oh okay, what do you want me to do?" Link asked.

"Move these huge stone thing-a-ma-bobs around and after a while you'll eventually open the way to the boss room." Linda explained.

Link nods, but when he sees how heavy they look he gets a little nervous. He walks up to one of the turning devices and pushes it as hard as he can. It surprisingly didn't weigh that much to him and moved around the room rather quickly. After some pushing and pulling he found the hallway to the boss room.

"Link, before you go in there I just want to tell you how proud I am that you got this far." Navi said in a motherly tone.

"But . . . I got lost." Link pointed out.

"But you went through the temple all on your own and I couldn't be happier." Navi said.

"He only killed two of the four Poe sisters." Sage said.

Navi glares at Sage "I didn't ask you."

"But it's true!" Sage said.

"That doesn't change the fact that you weren't asked for your opinion." Navi said irritably.

"It's not an opinion, it's a fact." Sage said.

"Anyway," Link interjected, "The important thing is we all got this far with only minor injuries, and we're this close to finding Saria."

"Yeah . . ." Sage and Linda said nervously. There was a strange silence afterwards.

"Let's go cure cancer!" Linda said as she began walking to the boss door while a fist in the air.

Link unlocked the door with the boss key he found somewhere in the temple. They go inside and after climbing a few steps they come to this strange circular arena that has picture frames surrounding it. Navi flies up to one of the paintings and inspects it.

"This piece of art is exquisite." Navi stated.

"It's a picture of a creepy forest with a creepy house in the background." Sage said.

"Who says 'exquisite' anymore?" Linda asked in a mocking tone.

"Shut up, both of you." Navi demanded irritably.

They suddenly hear a strange noise and turn around. Their only way out was now blocked off by some strange bars with spear heads! Link readies his sword and shield when they hear a low, husky, sinister laugh. One of the pictures begins to glow a strange purple tint. Everyone glances at each other nervously before staring intently at the picture. Suddenly, a man in black armor riding on a baboon flew out of the picture!

"ONE! Just ONE normal boss battle is all I ask!" Sage shouted.

"You got a problem with my baboon?!" The man in black armor asked irritably.

"His ass is so pink." Cheyenne said in disgust.

"Stop looking at his ass!" The man in black armor shouted.

"Forgetting the monkey; what are we supposed to do now?" Link asked.

"You're supposed to fight me." The man in black armor said.

"While you're riding that monkey?" Link asked. The animals started snickering.

"I prefer fighting while riding my monkey." The man in black said menacingly. The animals had a hard time keeping their laughter in at this point.

The man in black armor commands the baboon to jump back into one of the picture frames. A few second later the group sees two of him starting to run out of two frames. Link readies his bow to shoot one of them. Link shoots an arrow when the man in black armor jumps out, but accidentally misses.

"You can do it Link!" Linda shouted.

"You'll get him next time." Stephanie said.

The man in black armor glares at the animals "I could use some encouragement too you know!"

"We're not on your side though." Sage said.

"But still . . . it would be nice to hear some words of encouragement from time to time." The man in black armor said sadly.

"No." The animals said flatly.

"Screw you!" the man in black armor shouted.

His baboon is suddenly shot in the ass with an arrow. He screeches and starts running around the room like a psychopath. The man in black armor holds on as he's flung around like a bean bag. Finally the baboon stops when he trips over himself and rolls into a wall. The impact caused two of the picture frames to fall off the wall and one of them hit the man in black armor in the head!

"I think I won." Link stated triumphantly.

"Nope . . . I'm still alive!" the man in black armor said mockingly. I'm just going to call him 'the man' from now on.

"Oh . . ." Link muttered.

"You only wish that did me in!" the man in black armor said, kind of dazed, "When I was young we were taught to take hits like a champ! We were also told that we were only allowed one bar of soap a year. Then after my daddy left we were only allowed half a bar . . ." after thinking for a while the man started crying.

"Oh come on! So you smelt like shit most of the time it's no big deal." Sage said.

"Nobody loves me!" the man cried.

"Maybe if you weren't such a cry baby people could stand to look at your face more." Linda said. The man started crying harder.

"Linda, you are no longer allowed to talk when someone is crying." Stephanie said. Linda shrugged.

"Where's my crown?!" the man shouted as he threw a fit, "WHERE"S MY CROWN!"

"You never had a crown!" Cheyenne shouted back.

"Yes I did! Now where is it?!" the man shouted.

"Link will you hurry up and kil-" Sage started, but was interrupted by a loud crashing sound. Everyone looked at Link who had picked up one of the picture frames earlier and smashed it over the man's head. A nail from the frame somehow got itself lodged into the man's head and they all watched as the life in his eyes faded away.

"Death by picture frame." Linda stated.

"Works for me!" Navi chimed, "That's the end of this temple; let's get the hell out of here." They all nod.

As they're about to turn to leave, the blue circular light thing shows up in the middle of the room. they all step inside and are transported to the chamber of sages.

Huzzah! Another chapter over and done with! No cheesy movie references either... at least i don't think so, I don't remember what I wrote. Oh well, BYE!