Last time on Screaming Adventures! Our frigid friends were stuck in a typhoon of worries and anger trying to figure out who Jim Bob killed! Will they succeed?! Or will little Joshua be stuck in Dr. Smoorches evil laboratory for the rest of his remaining life?! Stay tuned to find out!

"These random introductions are starting to confuse me." Link said.

"I think that's the point." Navi said.

"I hope they're able to free little Joshua in time." Linda said.

"Little Joshua probably doesn't exist." Stephanie said.

"I won't believe any more of your lies!" Linda shouted.

"If you're wondering what actually happened in the last chapter; we were sent back to the Temple of Time by Sheik to learn the Prelude of Light." Cheyenne explained to the readers.

"But now we're back in Death Mountain crater watching Link fail at learning the Bolero of Fire." Sage added.

"Hey! He's trying his best, leave him alone!" Linda shouted.

"The extreme heat is making my feathers burn and my eyes water." Cheyenne said.

"Maybe we should let Link go through this temple by himself because the same thing is happening to me." Stephanie said.

"I'm going with Link even if it kills me." Linda stated.

"But our small animal bodies can't handle this heat." Cheyenne said.

"Yeah, we don't have a fire tunic like Link does." Sage pointed out.

"I don't care, I'm going." Linda said.

"You either really love Link to that extent or you're just an idiot." Stephanie said.

"I like to call it creative writing." Linda said.

"What? That doesn't make any sense." Stephanie said irritably.

"Love doesn't need to make sense!" Linda said with a sparkle in her eye.

"Well at least now I know you're just an idiot." Stephanie said indifferently.

A wall of fire comes up from the lava causing the animals to scream in surprise. The fire wall separated them from Sheik who quickly pulled out a deku nut, threw it on the ground, and disappeared with a flash. The flames subsided and they all looked around to see where Sheik was hiding. They see him scaling the walls of the crater then climbing out of the top.

"What the hell was that all about?" Cheyenne asked.

"I don't know." Link said, seriously confused "After I learned the song, flames came out of nowhere. It would've caught my boots on fire if I didn't move back in time."

"Sheik probably didn't want to get killed by Sage." Navi said.

"Sheik did that?" Link asked, referring to the wall of fire . . . duh?

"I don't see how; his magic's been pretty shitty so far." Sage said.

"Well . . . he taught me the song and that's all that matters." Link said.

"So now we can go into the fire temple!" Navi said happily.

"About that," Stephanie spoke; Link and Navi look at her "We decided to let you go alone since none of us could handle the heat."

"Oh . . . well if you really don't want to I'm not going to make you." Link said.

"Finally the goddesses have answered my plea!" Navi shouted happily.

"I'm still going." Linda stated.

"Son of a bitch." Navi muttered.
"I don't want you to burn to death Linda; maybe you should go with the others." Link said.

"Don't worry about me Link; I'll be fine as long as you're around." Linda said.

"I don't think having me around would make a difference. You're sweating so much it looks like you just jumped into a river." Link pointed out.

"But I want to go with you!" Linda whined.

Link patted Linda's head "If you wait for me back in Kakariko I'll treat you to a big lunch."

"Really?!" Linda asked with anticipation.

Link nodded "Of course."

"Okay!" Linda said with a huge grin.

"How did Link know food was one of Linda's weaknesses?" Cheyenne asked.

"It can't be that hard to figure out." Navi said.

Link used his Hookshot to get the animals to the other side and escorted them out of the crater; back into Darunia's room. They wished him good luck and they went their separate ways for the time being. The animals decided to take their time going back down the mountain since Link would probably be a while. They hung out in Goron city for a few hours' just throwing bombs at Lawrence and chilling out with the shop keeper. Eventually they got bored and left.

"It's so nice to get some cool air." Stephanie said as they started walking down the mountain trail.

"It's not like you were going to die." Sage said.

"Look at my tail! Half of the feathers burned off!" Stephanie shouted, turning her ass towards Sage to show the evidence.

"You needed a haircut anyway." Sage said. Stephanie glared at her.

"When we get to Kakariko I say we go to Claude's house and take a nap." Cheyenne said.

"I second that." Sage said.

"Hold on guys." Stephanie warned, "Do you hear that?"

They stopped walking and listened for whatever Stephanie heard. They looked around and realized they were in front of Dodongo's Cavern. The strange noise happened to be coming from inside the cavern!

"Sounds like someone is digging." Sage said.

"But for what?" Cheyenne asked.

"Hell if I know." Sage said.

"There's only one way to find out." Stephanie said, hinting for them to go inside the cavern.

"If those damn brothers have anything to do with it I'm going to be pissed." Sage said.

*Link*

While the animals were messing around Goron city for a few hours Link was actually doing some heroic work like meeting with Darunia and wandering around the fire temple. Now he was running through the boulder maze trying to find a dungeon key.

"Watch out!" Navi screamed as Link was two seconds away from being squashed. Link jumped back and dodged the boulder just in time. Navi sighed "How many times do I have to tell you to look before you leap?!"

"I can't help it; these boulders just come out of nowhere." Link said.

"Hey! Hey buddy! Help me!" a voice shouted.

Link and Navi look around until they spot a Goron locked in jail cell. Link runs up to a switch and sets the Goron free. It jumps for joy and runs at Link to give him a hug. Link's eyes widen as the Goron gets closer, but the Goron is retarded and trips over himself; landing flat on his face. He quickly gets up and smiles at Link.

"Thank you Robin Hood!" The Goron shouted happily.

"Um . . . My name's Link." Link said.

"You have no idea how long I've been stuck in this cage!" the Goron shouted happily.

"Well . . . You're free now so you can go-" Link started.

"There are tons of boulders in this room so watch out! You don't want to get squashed now do you?!" The Goron shouted happily.

"Thank you, I knew that." Link said.

"When you're on fire you can roll or swing your sword around to put out the flames!" The Goron shouted happily.

"Yeah, I . . . kind of figured that out a while ago." Link said; kind of embarrassed about how he figured that out.

"If you see a fake door-" The Goron started.

"Thank you for trying to help and everything, but I'm kind of busy so I'll just take this small key and get out of here." Link said as he opened a small chest, quickly grabbing its contents, and leaving the Goron.

After running around the maze a little more and managing to save another Goron he comes to a locked door. He unlocks it and enters a small room with a narrow bridge thing; which he was standing on by the way.

"Is this safe?" Link asked as he peaked over the bridge.

"Probably not, but we have no other choice but to pass through here. Just watch where you step and you should be fine." Navi said.

"What's that?" Link asked, pointing to a silver diamond-shaped eye switch on the wall.

"Hmm . . . my navigating senses are telling me it's a switch; shoot it with something." Navi replied.

Link brought out his bow then shot the eye and watched as it closed. Bars blocking the door to his right suddenly disappeared. He made his way over and entered the room only to find a treasure chest with a map inside. He looked at the map and realized that it was just a bunch of random doodles.

"Um . . . how is this supposed to help me?" Link asked.

"I'm starting to think this temple is a big waste of time." Navi said.

"But we need to awaken the fire sage so it's necess- wow this person is really good at drawing." Link said.

"Yeah, yeah; let's just go." Navi said irritably.

They go back to the narrow bridge room and entered the locked door. There was a narrow stone wall in front of them and Link walked across it to get to the metal grating that was suspended by the ceiling. Just as Link landed on the grating a flame wall popped out of the lava behind them! Link gasps and runs to the other side of the room. A red bubble flies out of the lava and jumps at him, but he quickly dodges it and continues on. Once he reaches the other side he quickly runs into the nearest door; which is back in the maze room.

"Ugh, this place again?!" Navi whined.

"At least from up here I can't get hit by the boulders." Link pointed out.

"Yeah, as long as you don't fall down." Navi added.

"I'm not a kid anymore Navi, I won't fall." Link said. He jumped to the next platform and looked around for any clues for where to go next.

"Maybe since those idiots aren't here you'll be fine." Navi said.

"Why do you hate them so much? They're just animals." Link said.

"Because there's something wrong with their brains!" Navi shouted.

"They're pretty smart . . . I mean they know how to communicate with Hylians and everything," Link spoke as he jumped to a platform with a square switch on it, "Most of the time it seems like they know more about Hyrule then I do."

Navi gives Link a stern look "and you don't find that odd?"

Link steps on the switch and a jail cell opens on the other side of the room "I don't think it's strange that animals know more about the land than your average Hylian."

"But they said they were from a different planet or something, how would they know more about Hyrule then you?!" Navi shouted.

"Oh yeah, I forgot they told us that." Link said. Navi sighed in disappointment.

Link made his way towards the open jail cell only to find a Goron cowering in the corner. Link and Navi look at each other with questioning expressions. Navi motions for Link to go talk to the Goron and he gives her an uncertain look before walking over to it.

"Um . . . Excuse me?" Link asked. He puts a hand on the Goron's shoulder and it flinches.

"I . . . I don't know where I am . . . My mumzies told me I'd be safe if I just trusted in her magic tree, but she's probably dead now." The Goron said. It begins trembling and slowly stands up.

Link backs away from the Goron "Well, I set you free so I guess you can go see if mumzies is alive."

"You wouldn't understand how I feel." The Goron said.

"Well honestly we have problems of our own and right now we don't have time to understand how you feel." Navi said.

"Bitch . . ." The Goron muttered.

"Look, we're sorry for being in a hurry," Link said as he opened a nearby chest to get a small key "but we'll listen to your problems later . . . maybe."

"You're not in a hurry; you just don't want to talk to me." The Goron said with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry; I'm sure there is someone out there who would like to talk to you." Navi said.

"Only one." The Goron said.

"See! So don't feel so bad that we don't want to talk to you." Navi said.

"I don't think this is making him feel any better Navi." Link said.

"Idk, my bff Jill." The Goron said.

"What?" Link and Navi asked.

"When will the sun shine on the place of morrow?" The Goron asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Navi asked.

"I think we should be going." Link said. Navi nodded.

As the Goron stood there spouting nonsense, Link and Navi leave the little jail cell. They head back towards the door they came through. As Link is jumping from platform to platform he notices one of the platforms has a strange crack in it. They stop to inspect the damn thing!

"I sense there's something under this crack." Navi said. When Link doesn't respond she looks over at him, "What's wrong?"

"I had to stop myself from laughing or making a sarcastic comment about what you just said." Link said.

Navi rolls her eyes "Ugh, I seriously think you need to stop spending so much time with those retarded animals."

Link chuckles "Come on, It's all in good fun."

"If you start calling me names and losing brain cells I'll have to kick your ass." Navi said.

Link is about to respond but the floor suddenly explodes and they fall down a hole!

*Animals*

They were wandering around Dodongo's cavern trying to figure out where the noise they heard earlier was coming from. They didn't get too far since they were still in the main room with the Dodongo skeleton head.

"I think we should go now guys." Cheyenne said anxiously.

"What are you afraid of? We've been here before." Stephanie said.

"Yeah, but I'm just getting this bad feeling about . . . something." Cheyenne said.

"Hey guys, look over here!" Sage shouted towards her friends. They all look over and see Sage on the middle platform looking at the bottom of the Dodongo mouth. They walk up to her and notice her looking at some carvings on some of the teeth.

"What's it say?" Stephanie asked.

"It looks like it's all in Hylian writing or something." Linda said.

"That's because *hic* it is." A voice said. They look behind them to see the drunk hobo standing there.

"What the hell are you doing here old man?" Sage asked.

"Investigating *hic* a stolen carpet . . . *hic* or something." The drunk hobo said.

"Hey, you read Hylian; why don't you translate this for us?" Linda asked.

"What's in it for me?*hic*" the hobo asked.

"A nice cold beer bought by yours truly . . . and when I say 'yours truly' I mean you." Sage said.

The hobo stroked his chin with his thumb and index finger, thinking about Sage's offer ". . . Done." He said as he sat next to the teeth and started reading.

"I thought you'd see it my way." Sage said with a smile.

"I wouldn't think manipulating a drunken man would be that hard to do anyway." Cheyenne said. Sage shrugs and they wait a while for the hobo to translate the writing.

". . . *hic* okay . . . okay, I think I got It." the hobo says as he points to the writing, "This part says *hic* 'Rotiart is traitor' . . ."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cheyenne asked.

"Maybe Rotiart is a name?" Stephanie suggested.

"That's a dumb name." Sage said.

"Who cares if this person is a traitor; we don't know him and we sure as hell never met the guy either." Linda said.

"Maybe we're just over thinking this. This might be someone carving words into a fossil because they have nothing better to do." Stephanie pointed out.

"No *hic* it's definitely important." The hobo said. Everyone turns toward the hobo, "I've heard of him *hic* quite a few times . . . probably. *hic* there's a rumor saying he told Ganondorf the Goron folk *hic*were keeping the princess and that's why they were all taken *hic* to the volcano to be eaten."

"So he's a traitor because he basically snitched on the Gorons to Ganondorf? Even though they never had the princess to begin with?" Cheyenne asked.

"No *hic* he's a traitor because Rotiart spelt backwards is 'traitor'*hic*" the hobo pointed out.

"Okay, so some asshole named Rotiart is getting people in trouble for no reason; what's the rest of the writing say?" Stephanie asked, not intrigued by that small information.

"It says 'part a sti'. . . This is some weird tangy messages." The hobo said.

"Part a sti? What the hell does that mean?" Sage asked.

"I really hate the writings now." Linda stated.

". . . It's a trap. . ." Stephanie said.

"What is?" They all asked.

"No, that's what the saying says backwards." Stephanie said. They all think about the writing and realize Stephanie is right.

"OOOH! *hic* I remember now! Rotiart is a traitor because he set up a trap in Dodongo's cavern so the Goron's would get caught in it and be killed before eating any of their food supply!" The hobo said, like it was the smartest thing he's ever said.

"Well which kind of traitor is he; the douchebag kind or the piece of shit should die kind?" Sage asked irritably.

"Sounds like he could be both." Linda said.

"My mind is still blown by the fact that someone would name their kid Rotiart . . ." Cheyenne said.

"Right?! If we had internet access I'd google that shit!" Sage said.

They suddenly hear a loud whistle in the distance and a whole swarm of soldiers come and dog pile on the drunken hobo.

"You're pink hair has no effect on me!" The hobo shouted.

"It's like they're following him everywhere he goes . . ." Stephanie said as they watch the drunk hobo get carried away. A few minutes after the hobo and soldiers left the ground started shaking.

"What the hell's going on?!" Cheyenne shouted.

"We're being punished for inwardly laughing at that poor drunk bastard!" Sage shouted back.

"You were probably the only one laughing on the inside!" Stephanie shouted to Sage.

"No, I was too." Cheyenne and Linda said in unison.

The lava started to rise and the walls began to crumble! They ran over to the platform that rose up to the second floor, but before the platform could reach the second floor it also started to crumble. As the lava rose more of the walls began to fall apart and even created a hole where the Dodongo head was. Now the lava was draining out through the hole and carrying away all the debris it created. The platform they were on suddenly snapped in half and the half they were on got carried away by the lava through the hole in the wall. After being carried through the cavern they finally end up in a huge room filled with lava . . . and a dragon?!

"Volvagia!" Sage and Linda shouted. Their platform drifted over to a huge platform in the middle of the room. They all jumped onto it when they were close enough.

"So nice of you to drift in." A high pitched man voice said. They all looked around the room and noticed a flare dancer (or whatever they're called) riding on Volvagia's back.

"Who are you?" Linda asked.

"I am Kentalimoo!" He said with a heroic pose, "And this is my trusty sidekick dip n dots!" he motioned to Volvagia.

"You gave Volvagia a nickname?" Sage asked.

"You got a problem with that pesky rodent?!" Kentalimoo said.

"You just wait till Link gets here; he'll most likely kick your ass!" Sage shouted.

"It's so freakin hot in here!" Stephanie shouted.

"Um . . . would you mind telling us how to stop the lava from rising any farther?" Cheyenne asked.

"Hell no." Kentalimoo said.

"You'd burn innocent little animals?" Stephanie asked with a dejected face.

"You're damn right!" Kentalimoo said! He snaps his fingers and a huge cage falls from the ceiling and imprisoned our friends, "Well all right, I'll stop the lava from rising, but only because I want to meet this Link character you're talking about. Does she have a boyfriend? Is she married?"

The animals look at each other with confused expressions. Sage looks over at Kentalimoo ". . . Link is a guy."

Kentalimoo looks at the animals with a surprised look "Quit pulling my leg! I'll beat you with a chicken leg and make sure it gets caught in your throat if you're shitting me!"

"No, he's a guy, but when you see him you'll probably turn gay." Linda said.

"Does he have a girly face?" Kentalimoo asked.

"No, but he's dead sexy!" Linda shouted.

"Are we really going to have this conversation?" Stephanie asked irritably.

"I will talk to anyone who wants to talk about sexy Link." Linda said.

*2 hours later*

"And when he sleeps he sometimes drools between 2 A.M and 4:30 A.M; OH! And he farts at least six times randomly throughout the night." Linda finished explaining her stalker report to Kentalimoo.

"I think I know more about Link then I would like to." Cheyenne said.

"Since we're on the subject of Link; where the hell is he?" Sage asked.

"Maybe he got lost?" Cheyenne suggested.

"Someone's here." Kentalimoo said.

They all look to the entrance and see the metal door lift open. In walks in an irritated Link with charred clothes and soot covered hair. Linda's face brightens up until she notices a Goron following Link inside the room. The Goron seemed to be the reason why Link looked so irritated since it kept talking about nothing that mattered. Link stopped walking when he noticed his friends in the cage.

"What are you guys doing here?" Link asked.

"And why didn't you come to help us if you were here?!" Navi shouted.

"Link I missed you!" Linda shouted.

"Well, it's not like we wanted to be here!" Sage yelled, "It's freakin hot in here, Linda and that dumbass have been talking about you nonstop for TWO GODAMN HOURS, and I'm pretty sure that damned dragon has been farting the WHOLE time!"

"Sounds like you've had just as much fun as Link and I." Navi said.

"That's too bad, actually, I was just telling Link here about the yearly Pity Festivals we have in Goron city. It's definitely something you should check out; everyone is given a chance to speak about their problems and everyone else lies to their face about how much they care." The Goron who followed Link in said.

"Oh, sounds interesting." Sage said, feigning interest.

"And miserable . . ." Navi muttered.

"By the way, my name's Hum, You might know my brother's 'Dee' and 'Dum', we're triplets." Hum explained.

"Wouldn't matter either way; all you Goron's look the same to me." Sage said.

"So this is Link?" Kentalimoo asked with actual interest.

"You bet your ass he is." Linda said.

"Eh . . . not as amusing as you made him out to be." Kentalimoo said.

"Shut your mouth!" Linda shouted. They watch as Link hops across two platforms to get to his friends.

"You guys okay?" Link asked.

"Yeah, we can get out of this cage easily," Stephanie spoke as they all started squeezing their way out of the cage, "we just wanted to buy some time before we were probably roasted to death."

"Ugh! The fact that I'm not turning gay for this Link character kind of pisses me off!" Kentalimoo shouted.

"Excuse me?" Link asked.

Kentalimoo ignores Link and glares at Linda "You made him out to be this super-hot guy but he's not even turning me on! And for that I shall kill you first!" he shouts before commanding Volvagia to attack her.

Kentalimoo jumps off of Volvagia's back and lands on the platform with everyone else. Volvagia flies at full speed towards Linda who dashes across the two smaller platforms and towards the entrance, but of course the door won't open! Linda quickly hides behind Hum.

"No, what are you doing?! Don't come near me-AAAHH!" Were Hum's last words as he was swallowed by Volvagia!

"Damn it dip n dots! you ate the wrong thing!" Kentalimoo shouted.

"Remind me to send my condolences to his brothers." Linda said.

"You are not allowed near any mourning people and/or things! Do you understand me?!" Stephanie shouted, "We don't want anyone committing suicide!"

"Too late!" Sage shouted as she threw a rock at Kentalimoo.

"Bitch!" Kentalimoo shouted as he staggered back, lost his balance, and fell into the lava, "AAH! I'm melting, I'm melting!" They all walk over to the ledge where he fell and watch as he burns.

"How is he melting; isn't he made of fire?" Link asked. Everyone shrugged.

"Just for the record; that wasn't suicide." Stephanie pointed out.

"Who cares; the annoying things are dead . . . excluding Navi." Sage said.

"I hate you too." Navi said.

"Uh . . . guys, we have bigger problems." Cheyenne said nervously. They all look towards Volvagia as he flies towards them. The two smaller platforms begin to sink into the lava. Linda rushes across the platforms and leaps toward her friends. Link catches her and sets her down next to the other animals. He takes out his sword and shield and prepares for a HUGE fight.

"I'm beginning to think it was safer on the other side." Stephanie said, referring to the little area next to the entrance.

Volvagia starts acting funny and flies around the room bumping into walls. He sounds as if he's choking on something and tries to cough it up. The group just watches him like some cool TV show.

"Why are all these boss fights really easy?" Sage asked.

"He's not dead yet." Navi said. A boulder hits Volvagia in the face and he falls into the lava. A few seconds later the circular blue light pops up in the middle of the platform, "Now he's dead . . ."

"Good, let's get the hell out of this place." Stephanie said.

They all walk into the middle of the circular blue light and begin to disappear into the sacred realm.

"Do I still get that big lunch?" Linda asked Link.

Okay . . . Technically I didn't lie when I said I'd have the Chapter up by Thursday (If you read the crap on my profile) but . . . Yeah . . . Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, I kind of experienced writer's block for a few days. It got to the point where I just forced some words out of me and wrote what I wrote. Probably 70% of this Ch. was BS . . . I didn't even edit it I was sooooo disgusted. So if you see anything that doesn't make sense gramatically then tell me . . . or something . . . Okay BYE!