"I always, ALWAYS, end up in situations like this!" Navi shouted, "And as usual, I always have to be stuck with you freaks!"

"Yeah, we're not exactly happy about it either." Linda said irritably.

The animals were all huddled together while Navi paced around anxiously. After the ground fell through last chapter they all went unconscious while being pummeled by snow and ice. A few hours later they woke up and found themselves stuck in some random hole deep within the cavern. But where's Link and Sheik?!

"We don't know . . ." Stephanie said dully.

"My guess is that we were all separated when the ground collapsed." Navi said.

"No shit Sherlock." Sage replied.

"Right now's not the time for your sarcasm!" Navi shouted.

"Any time's a good time for sarcasm!" Linda shouted. They suddenly hear maniacal laughing and look up towards the top of the hole.

"Kris!" They all shouted.

"You idiots really are idiots! I can't believe you fell into my trap! Again!" Kris shouted.

"Just so you know; you fell into your trap last time too." Cheyenne said.

"Yeah but-" Kris started to speak, but was hit in the face with a snowball and slipped into the hole with everyone else.

"You probably shouldn't make it a habit to fall into your own traps." Stephanie said.

"You assholes! Couldn't you just let me have my moment of glory?! I was this close to not screwing up and making my dad proud!" Kris shouted.

"Sounds like a personal problem to me." Linda said.

"I don't care what father issues you're having; I just want to know how to get out of here." Navi said.

"Bastards! Don't you know anything about showing kindness and compassion?!" Kris shouted while kicking the snow around.

"Why should we be nice to you; you're the reason why we're in this mess." Sage said.

"And that's why you're single." Kris mocked.

"You don't know me bitch! It's because I look like a ten year old that I'm single!" Sage shouted.

"Well either way, I have a boyfriend and you don't!" Kris bragged.

"Sage, you may think you look like a ten year old, but at least you don't act like one." Stephanie said.

"She's a spoiled brat; what'd you expect?" Cheyenne asked.

"If you're wondering," Kris spoke; ignoring her enemies, "his name is Philippe." She said with a dreamy sigh (I guess that's how you would word it). She brings out a plastic Ken doll dressed in an orange Hawaiian print shirt and tan khaki shorts. "He promised we'd get married when I'm older." She finished with a giggle.

"And I thought Linda's Link fetish was weird." Stephanie said.

"You never know what kind of freaks you'd run into now-a-days." Cheyenne said.

"Oh like you guys were never in love with a doll before." Kris said irritably.

"No . . ." The animals said.

"Well you guys can go straight to hell!" Kris shouted while clutching onto Ken/Philippe.

"GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Navi shouted while flying around Kris' head annoyingly.

Kris groans in frustration "FINE! I'll get us out of here if you quit bitching!"

"Yeah . . . that's something you'll have to learn to tune out." Sage said.

"Whatever," Kris says as she rolls her eyes. She looks up towards the top of the hole "SEAN! SEAN ARE YOU UP THERE?! WE NEED HELP!"

"Please tell me there's a plan B . . ." Stephanie said.

Kris turns to the animals "What do you mean? Sean was there a few minutes ago."

"I'm sure if he didn't rush to get you out of here the second you fell in, then he's probably gone." Sage said.

"Or maybe he's happy you fell in." Linda added.

"Well I guess we could try to climb out." Kris said.

". . .IDIOTS! I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!" Navi shouted.

"Says the one just pissing everyone off instead of helping out." Linda said.

"You're not doing anything either!" Navi said.

"I'm observing." Linda said.

"Links' ass isn't around, there's nothing for you to observe." Sage said.

"That's true." Linda said.

*WITH LINK AND SHERRI*

They, of course, were in a different part of the cavern. They weren't as deep in the cavern as the animals and Navi were, but they were deep enough to where they couldn't find a way out. When they became conscious, they realized they were chained up and guarded by those wolfos Link was fighting last chapter! Link was able to get them free from the chains rather quickly, but killing the wolfos took some time.

"I'm gonna kill ya, then I'm gonna eat your babies!" One of the wolfos taunted while foaming at the mouth.

"I don't have babies." Link said. The wolfos jumped at him, but he quickly brought his shield up and it bounces off.

The wolfos growled, "Wait till I get my paws on those little rodents you call friends, I'll rip them apart and feed their insides to my nephews!"

Link glared at the wolfos before throwing his shield at its face and running his sword through its chest. It let out a piercing scream as it burst into blue flames and disintegrated into nothing. The other wolfos growled and charged at Link. He evaded the attack and picked up his shield.

"I'll make you regret stepping foot into my house!" the wolfos shouted.

"This is your house?" Link said in surprise.

"Got a problem with it?" the wolfos asked.

"Well . . . couldn't you find a better place to live?" Link asked.

"Yeah, and how'd you get in here when the cave is surrounded by water?" Sheik asked.

"That's none of your business!" The wolfos shouted. It lunged towards Link but he shot it in the face with his hook shot. "OW! BASTARD! Why'd you do that?!" it screamed.

". . . Because you were attacking me." Link said.

"You could've at least warned me you jackass!" the wolfos cried while rubbing its face.

"Sorry, but this is getting ridiculous and I have things to do." Link said before driving his sword into the wolfos' chest.

Sheik watches in amazement as the wolfos disintegrates into nothing; then he turns to Link "I'm happy you saved my life and all, but don't you think that was kind of unfair?"

Link turns to Sheik "He was trying to kill me!"

"You're right, you're right," Sheik said as he slowly lifted himself off the ground; making sure not to put any pressure on his sprained foot, "just remind me to never piss you off."

"You're getting there . . ." Link muttered.

"I'm starting to think you're hanging around those animals a little too much." Sheik said.

"Of course, they're my friends." Link said.

"Yes of course, so where to now?" Sheik asked.

"Hell if I know, let's just wander around until we either find a way out or find the others." Link said. He lets Sheik put an arm around his shoulder for support and they slowly head out, "I'm starting to wonder why we were the only ones taken here and chained up like that."

"Well who's to say that the animals aren't chained around here somewhere? Hell, who's to say they're not already dead?!" Sheik said.

"Yeah . . . let's change the subject." Link said.

*BACK TO THE ANIMALS*

"Wait what?" Stephanie asked, "You just transitioned over to Link and Sheik; we haven't prepared any dialogue yet."

"Improvisation in three, two, one!" Sage shouted.

They spent a good thirty minutes trying to climb out of the hole they were stuck in but nothing worked! They were about to call it quits when FINALLY Sean decides to show up. He looks down the hole and scowls when he realizes the animals just arguing about improvisation and such.

"Is there anything else you guys can do besides fall into holes?" Sean teased. They all look up at him.

"Yeah . . . I can kick your ass; I mean, if you come down here." Sage said.

"I don't know why you think you're threatening; you're just a rat." Sean said.

"Yeah, Sheik said the same thing and ended up getting his face rearranged." Cheyenne said.

Sean rolls his eyes "Well if you want me to get you out you're going to have to be nice."

"Oh SEAN! You came back for me!" Kris said with a gleam in her eye.

"I had no other choice; you're my boss's daughter." Sean said irritably.

"What a touching relationship you two have." Linda said.

"So are you going to get us out of here or not?" Navi asked.

"Sorry, but I'm only here for the pig," Sean said. He jumped into the hole, grabbed Kris, and jumped his way out of the hole again.

"Oh Sean, you're such a dream stick!" Kris squealed.

"Philippe's going to be really angry if you keep flirting with other men." Sage said.

"Kiss my ass! I may flirt with Sean, but what Philippe and I have is unbreakable!" Kris shouted.

"That's what all the psychotic bitches say." Sage said. Kris sticks her tongue out at Sage.

"Hey fairy! Can't you just fly out of here? You do have wings." Sean said to Navi after setting Kris on the ground.

"I was thinking of the well-being of the retards around me!" Navi said irritably.

"What for? You don't like us." Linda said.

"If you died then Link would be really sad and all of Hyrule would be at stake because he'd be too depressed to save it!" Navi shouted.

"Why don't you just admit that you like us?" Linda teased.

"Don't say things that make me want to barf!" Navi shouted.

"I don't see why the birds and the fairy don't go out and look for help." Sean said.

"We wouldn't have to if you saved us." Stephanie said.

"You do realize we're enemies right?" Sean asked.

"Come on Sean, we used to be great buddies! Don't turn your back on us now when we—yeah, that douchebag just left us . . ." Sage said as Sean and Kris walked away.

"Well . . . I guess Cheyenne and I could fly everyone out of the hole; I'm sure it won't be that hard." Stephanie said.

"I think you're forgetting that you'll have to carry Linda." Navi said.

"But no one will ever forget that you're a skanky bitch." Linda replied.

"All right, let's get Linda up first." Cheyenne said; Stephanie nodded.

After some struggle and dizziness they got Linda out of the hole! Then Sage just rode on Stephanie's back out of the hole! That wasn't too hard now was it?!

"Speak for yourself." Navi said.

"I don't want to hear you complaining." Stephanie said.

"I wasn't that heavy, was I?" Linda asked.

"No, I'm just teasing." Stephanie said.

"Don't lie, we all know she's fat; now let's go find Link!" Navi shouted.

"God I can't wait for the day I can eat you." Linda said irritably.

*BACK TO LINK AND SHELDON*

They were just walking around aimlessly until they actually came to a door! Link cautiously opens it and they go in. they see the small room looks different from the rest of the cavern; the walls were black with colorful designs decorating it and there was a chest in the middle of the room! So exciting!

"Do you think it's anything important?" Sheik asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Link said.

Sheik shrugs "Only one way to find out I guess."

Link nods, opens the chest, and pulls out the IRON BOOTS! But only for a second because the weight of the boots causes Link to drop them on Sheiks' already sprained foot.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Sheik cried while flailing his arms in the air.

"Sorry!" Link said, trying to lift the boots off Sheiks' foot, "these things are heavy!"

"Yes . . . yes, they are . . ." Sheik said after Link managed to pull the boots off.

"What am I supposed to do with these?" Link asked.

"Burn them! Burn them and never lift them again!" Sheik said.

"But why would someone just leave them in a chest like this?" Link asked. The door suddenly opens and Kris walks in.

"Sean, are you in here?!" Kris shouts; her eyes land on Link and Sheik, "Oh, it's the rest of the dumb squad."

"What?" Link and Sheik ask.

"I had the misfortune of bumping in to your rude animal friends earlier; I think they're looking for you or something." Kris said, uninterested.

"Great, can you take us to them?" Link asked.

"Nope; don't remember where they are. In fact, I have no idea where I am or where to go." Kris said before bringing out Philippe and petting his face, "but at least we have each other."

". . . Yeah . . . You wouldn't happen to have dropped some boots, would you?" Sheik asked.

Kris gave Sheik an irritated glare "I don't wear shoes . . ."

"Oh yes, how could I forget?" Sheik said to himself.

"Have you guys seen Sean around here? He left me behind again." Kris said.

"Who's Sean?" Link asked.

"You're kidding, right?" Kris said in disbelief. Link stares at her blankly and she rolls her eyes "I'm out of here." She says before turning around and leaving the room.

"Well that could've gone better." Sheik said.

"I think we should follow her." Link said.

"Why?" Sheik asked.

"Just in case she goes back to the others." Link said.

"And if she doesn't?" Sheik asked.

"I guess we'll find out who this Sean character is." Link said.

"You seriously don't know who he is?" Sheik asked.

"No, is that bad?" Link asked.

"I guess not, but you'll just have to ask your animal friends about him." Sheik said.

"So basically everyone knows about Sean but me?" Link asked.

"Pretty much; I wonder why no one ever told you about him." Sheik said.

"Me too." Link said irritably.

"Now about those boots." Sheik said, changing the subject. They both stare at the boots with disgust. "Maybe . . . there's-"

"Look! I found a button!" Link shouted.

He pressed it and the boots transformed into one of those 'easy buttons'. They glance at each other with confusion before shrugging it off. Link grabbed the button and stuck it where all his other items went. They walked out of the room and trailed behind Kris for a while. It didn't take them very long to realize Kris wasn't lying when she said she didn't know where she was going.

"Damn it!" Kris shouted as she kicked the ground in frustration, "Where the hell did he go?!"

"HEY little GIRL!" A voice sang rather loudly.

Kris jumped from the surprise and turned around to see who it was; a weird looking snow beast! "What the hell are you?"

"MY name IS Snorchub, I live IN this CAVERN. What's YOUR name LITTLE girl?" Snorchub asked happily.

". . . Willy . . . Willy Wonka." Kris lied.

Snorchub clapped in excitement "That's SUCH a GOOD name!"

"Yes . . . now if you'll excuse me-" Kris tried to say, but Snorchub pulled her into a big snow beast hug.

"WE'LL be FRIENDS for EEEEEVER!" Snorchub shouted. He, I'm going to guess it's a 'he', happily swung Kris back and forth; Kris started doing a retarded pig squeal as tears ran down her face. Link and Sheik decide it was time to come out of hiding, for some reason, to help Kris.

"Mr. Snorchub sir?" Link said; trying to get Snorchub's attention.

Snorchub turned to Link and smiled "Friiiieeend."

"Actually, about that, we were just wondering if you could put her down; you're kind of crushing her." Link said.

Snorchub looked at Kris crying hysterically "but SHE looks OKAY to ME."

". . . I think it would be best to let her go . . . please." Link said.

Snorchub glares at Link and holds on to Kris even tighter "NO! She's MY friend!"

"Help . . . me. . ." Kris choked out.

"I'm sorry but you made me do this." Link said as he brings out his easy button. He presses it and quickly throws it at Snorchub. It transformed back into iron boots just as it flew to Snorchubs' head! As he was being pummeled by metal boots he accidentally let go of Kris. She fell to the ground and gasped for air. When she regained some composure she crawled away from Snorchub.

"Are you okay?" Sheik asked.

"You saved me!" Kris shouted to Link with a gleam in her eye.

"Of course I did . . . it's kind of my job." Link said.

"But you saved me!" Kris said while stepping closer to Link.

". . . Y-yeah . . ." Link said, feeling uncomfortable.

"WAAAAH!" Snorchub cried, "why YOU hit ME in THE face FOR?!" he picked up and threw the boots back at Link . . . and missed horribly. Link collected his boots and clicked them back into the easy button.

"Should we just go?" Link asked as they watched Snorchub have a hissy fit. Sheik shrugs.

"I'll go where ever you go." Kris said dreamily.

"NO! no PEOPLE'S go UNTIL snorchub SAYS you CAN go!" Snorchub shouted.

"We don't have time for this." Sheik said irritably.

Snorchub gets really angry upon hearing his newly found friends will be leaving him. So what's a crazy snow beast to do? Well first, he rips off some of his chest hair and throws it in the air! Then he starts kicking the walls which causes the whole cavern to shake! Now all that's left to do is bury everyone alive to ensure no one escapes from him ever again!

"We need to get the hell out of here!" Sheik shouted.

"I agree." Link agreed.

"Oh Philippe! Will this be the end of us?!" Kris cried.

Link did his best to get the hurt Sheik and the crying Kris out of harm's way, but once Snorchub noticed them trying to escape he ran after them! Now all three of them were screaming for their lives while going two miles per hour! Just as Snorchub was about to grab his prey he's hit in the back of the head with a snowball!

Snorchub stops and turns around "WHO threw THAT?!"

"Leave Link alone!" Linda shouted with the rest of the dumb squad next to her. "I'm the only one allowed to chase his fine ass while causing an earthquake!"

"Link!" Navi shouted happily.

"Guys!" Link shouted happily, "You're all okay!"

"What a nice reunion . . ." Sheik said monotonously.

"NOBODY leaves UNLESS snorchub SAYS so!" Snorchub shouted. He gathers up snow to form a huge snowball and throws it at the animals. They scurry away then run passed Snorchub and run to Link.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" Sage shouted.

"Trying." Link replied; helping the injured Sheik move a little closer to freedom.

"Damn it Sheik! Why'd you have to hurt your foot at a time like this?!" Navi shouted.

"It wasn't my fault!" Sheik shouted back.

"Can't you give him a piggy back ride or something Link?" Cheyenne asked.

"It would just make it harder to walk on the ice." Link said.

"Plus if he falls they're both screwed." Sage added.

"They kind of already are." Stephanie said.

JUST THEN! They were all picked up by a huge snowball! They were rolled back into the room with the spike trap. The huge snowball crashed into a wall and they all fell to the ground.

"I officially hate snow." Cheyenne said.

"Eh, we're in a love/hate relationship." Linda said.

"Thank the Goddesses! We're close to the exit!" Navi shouted. They see Snorchub walk into the room with another huge snowball in his hands.

"All right let's go!" Stephanie shouted.

They run towards the hallway leading to the exit while also avoiding the spike trap circling the room. Snorchub launches the snowball at them only to have it miss and crash into a wall. Our heroes hurry down the hallway while Snorchub is forming another snowball and chasing them down.

"I can see sunlight!" Navi shouted happily.

"I can see another snowball!" Stephanie shouted unhappily.

They all scream for their lives as they hear a snowball rolling up to them. Of course they weren't fast enough and the snowball picked them up. But because Snorchub isn't the smartest snow beast out there, the snowball didn't stop them from leaving the cavern; it rolled them out and into the lake of pickle juice!

"NO! snorchub DIDN'T say YOU could GO!" Snorchub shouted as he watched the snowball drift away.

The pickle juice melted the snowball pretty quick. Luckily for Sheik they were close to the Zora's domain entrance so he didn't have to swim very far. As they stepped out of the pickle juice and on to land they felt so much more . . . smelly.

"I should've stayed in the pudding filled domain if I knew this shit was going to happen." Sage said.

"Link, you better have the iron boots!" Linda said.

"Oh yeah, I do." Link said as he brought out his easy button.

"Those aren't boots." Cheyenne said. Link clicked the button and they transformed into boots.

"Sweet! Now all we need is the water tunic!" Linda said.

"I don't understand; how are these boots able to turn into a button?" Stephanie asked.

"Who cares, he got them didn't he?" Sage said.

"But there's no possible way they have the technology to do that! We don't even have the technology to do that!" Stephanie shouted.

"Well if you want to go back to the cave to ask that weird man beast about it, be my guest." Sage said.

"You guys wouldn't happen to know where Kris is, would you?" Link asked while looking around.

"She was with you?" Navi asked.

"Yeah, just until that snow beast started chasing us." Sheik said.

"Maybe she ran away before we got there." Linda said.

"Sean probably got her out of there." Sage said.

"Speaking of which, how come you guys never told me about this Sean person?" Link asked.

"Because the story about Sean reminds us how creepy Linda can be . . . and that's not exactly a good thing to remember." Stephanie said.

"What?" Link asked.

"While you were in the Sacred Realm we did some experiments to turn us human again, but ultimately failed and ended up making another you." Cheyenne said.

"What?" Link asked.

"I think you'll just have to meet him." Cheyenne said.

"Who's up for a bath?!" Sage shouted.

"Actually, I better get out of here." Sheik said.

"Why?" Link asked.

"Because I just came to teach you a song." Sheik said.

". . . but you didn't teach me a song." Link pointed out.

"OH YEAH! How could I forget?!" Sheik said, mostly to himself. He brings out a banjo and plays the Serenade of Water. "Did you learn it yet?"

"What happened to your harp?" Link asked.

"That doesn't matter; did you learn the song?" Sheik asked; a little irritated.

"Can you play it again?" Link asked while bringing out his ocarina. Sheik reluctantly plays the song on his banjo again, "Can you play it a little slower?" Link asked innocently. Sheik glares at Link, but plays the song again. This continues on for a few minutes until Sheik finally gets really pissed.

"Okay that's it! I'm done! I know it doesn't normally take you this long to learn a damn song! If you want to learn the Serenade of Water you can teach yourself!" Sheik shouted before doing some kind of whistle to call something over. In just a few seconds that damn Kaepora Gaebora flew over, grabbed Sheik, and started to fly away. Our heroes kind of just stood there awestruck from the whole experience.

"Take this you little shits!" The owl shouted just before he flew off. A stink bomb hit the floor and our heroes retreated inside the domain.

"That asshole!" Sage coughed, "I'll kill him the next time I see him!"

"That stink bomb smelt like my uncle's fart mixed with chocolate and cabbage." Cheyenne said with disgust.

"That's always nice to know." Sage said.

"And a little bit more detailed than I would have liked." Linda said.

"But now that I think about it Sheik was right; you don't normally take thirty minutes to learn a song." Stephanie said to Link.

Link smirked "That was just a little payback for slowing me down in the cavern."

"Link!" Navi shouted; a little surprised and disappointed in his behavior.

"I think I love you even more." Linda said proudly.

I just realized this but . . . why does it take them so damn long to get to the next temple?! SERIOUSLY! It takes them like two chapters to get there and then they're there for another two chapters! No wonder this story seems to drag on for so long!

I dunno, i'm just rambling I guess, but ya . . .

Thanks for the wonderful reviews Zeldafreak2000 and kurasa42, makes me much more happier about my life. Also, thank you Inkweaver22, Guest, AShortlittleDarling(Ex-editor :l), and Demichy for your reviews from a while back. I think I'll just start thanking all those who review my story. It may not be much, but if the story makes you smile then I'm happy!

BUH-BYE!