So, I recently watched Girl, Interrupted and found some new inspiration cuz I was really tempted to rewrite the whole. I still am but where Ian would be a doctor but I'm not sure how it would turn out. Like I don't want to seem repetitive so let me know what you think. :) ALSO, THIS CHAPTER HAS TRIGGERS AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE. I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB ANYONE IF IT'S HARD TO READ OR THINK ABOUT SO THIS IS ALL IN CAPS. THE BAD PART IS IN ITALICS TOWARDS THE MIDDLE. YOU'LL SEE IT IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THAT PART. IT'S LITERALLY JUST ONE PARAGRAPH, SO IT'S NOT A BIG MISS.
"Wanda, dear, it's already 7:30. There's not going to be any breakfast left." She stirred in her bed at the gentle voice of the nurse. She figured she might as well get out there. Things couldn't be any worse than they were the night before.
She threw on some clothes and brushed her hair before exiting the room. She was halfway through the door when she bumped into someone. Arms wrapped around her to keep her from falling before she could look into the slightly wrinkled face of a man.
"You must be the new girl. I'm Jeb; it's nice to finally meet you. I didn't get out to dinner early enough to see everything last night, but from what I've heard, Ian has really taken a liking to you."
She didn't know how to respond so she wrapped her arms around herself, gazing at the floor and shook her head. Boys just didn't like her. She'd learned that before.
Jeb was also at a loss. He could tell she was uncomfortable, so he decided to make things easier on her. "Why don't we head down to the cafeteria and get us both some grub before it's gone?"
She practically bolted at the offer; anything to get out of there. He seemed nice enough but she couldn't handle it. When they made it to the cafeteria, practically everyone was already seated except for those getting seconds. To be honest, it didn't look all that appetizing but she'd have to get used to it, at least for a while.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice someone waving at her. "Wanda, over here! Come sit with us!" It was that Melanie girl. She shuffled her feet as she quickly made her way through the room to their table. She sat at the end of the table and stared at her feet. That was until someone sat next to her.
"You took my seat." There was a smile in the voice of the person, but nevertheless, Wanda was quick to get up. She didn't want any unnecessary attention. "Hey, hey, I was just kidding. Where's your breakfast, aren't you hungry?" Concerned blue eyes directed their gaze towards her while she just shook her head. "You know, it's not actually as bad as it looks. Here, have some of mine." Of course, she accepted it. He wasn't wrong, but it definitely wasn't Cordon Bleu.
It wasn't long before a blond girl came and shoved her way between Ian and Wanda. "Hey Iannn." She sung his name in a whiny voice.
"Lacey, you realize Wanda was just sitting there, right?"
"Yeah, your point is?"
"Scoot down." He shoved her waist, pushing Jared off the other end, accidentally.
"Dude, what the hell?"
He'd already picked up Wanda and put her back where he thought she belonged; next to him. Needless to say, Lacey was not happy.
If looks could kill, Wanda would've keeled over by now. Lacey decided it'd be fun to mess with her a little. She subtly knocked her water into Wanda's lap.
"Whoops, my bad." Ian was quick to help soak it up, all the while Lacey sat with an amused smirk on her face. "So, Wilma-"
"It's Wanda." Ian corrected immediately.
"Whatever. So, why are you in here? Kill someone, or try to kill yourself? Fill free to fill in the blanks. If you still want to die, I might be able to hook you up."
"Lacey, would you just shut up already!"
Wanda hadn't even noticed. She was too wrapped up in a memory.
All it would take was two little slits. All the pain, all the torment would finally be over. The last thing she remembers is her parents, rushing into the kitchen, and her mother's high pitch screech as she saw her daughter on the precipice of death with only a bloody knife next to her.
"Wanda?" She flinched at the hand gently resting on her shoulder and furiously wiped away tears that had managed to escape and make tracks down her cheeks.
"Yeah, Wanda, feeling okay?" Lacey voice was taunting, but Ian refused to divert his attention from her.
If she was being honest, she didn't know. All she knew was she had to get out of there. She refused to have a break down in front of them and give Lacey the pleasure of seeing her crack.
Wanda stood quickly, but Lacey grabbed and released her ankle, causing her to fall on her face. She heard the blonde's cackle as she went to stand. As expected, Ian was quick to help. It was almost frustrating; it was sweet that he cared, but he never left her alone. She brushed him off and proceeded to hurry back to her room. When she thought things couldn't any worse than last night, she was unbelievably wrong; and all before 9:00 am.
Back at the cafeteria, Ian stared after the poor girl, wanting to help her but not knowing how to proceed. Lacey was chuckling back at the table.
"You bitch! What the hell was that for? She hasn't even done anything to you!"
"You should know by now, Ian, I don't share what's mine."
"We hooked up twice; let it go and move on already! Lord knows I did."
"Hmm, the player got rejected, how does it feel? Can't even manage to get the pathetic ones in anymore?"
"I managed you."
She went up and slapped him across the face. "You can go to hell!" And with her dramatic exit completed, she left.
oOo
"Checks." She heard a voice shout through the door before it creaked open. She had just been lying on her bed, thinking. She started therapy tomorrow and wasn't sure she was ready to open up. She figured she'd get the usual spiel, suicide is bad, and you have to open up for things to get better. Hell, even contemplate death and they'd consider you crazy. If she was being honest, she had her own opinions on the matter. Wanda hated talking about it because all the doctors did made her feel nuts.
The nurse had approached her bed by that time. "Here you go sweetie."
She'd learned by now not to ask questions when pills were presented to you. So Wanda simply downed them and opened her mouth so the lady could check they were gone. As soon as she left, Wanda felt it was time to do the same. She didn't want to run into anyone she knew, so she avoided the recreation room and stuck to the halls. She saw the nametags of people on the doors: Melanie, Lacey, and Maggie down the girls' hall with others she had no clue of. Down the boys' hall, she saw: Ian, Kyle, Jared, and numerous others along with some guy named Burns. His door was creaked open and as she passed, she noticed wilted flowers along the window sill.
A boy popped up in front of her behind the door making her gasp and trip. Luckily, she caught herself before she hit the floor, but it did nothing to calm her pounding heart.
"Who are you?" He whispered.
Something about him felt safe and familiar. He seemed easier going than the others, making it almost nice to talk to him. "Um, I-I'm Wanda."
He opened the door a little wider, allowing her to see clothes cluttering the floor. "I haven't seen you around. When did you get here?"
"Yesterday…" No matter how laid back he seemed, she wasn't into talking to people.
"I'm Burns." He held out his hand, never leaving the protection behind his door. "I'm a pyromaniac."
"Nice to m-meet you." She refused the hand in front of her but this was still a big step.
"Do you want to come inside?" He opened the door all the way now; it was fairly obvious he didn't have OCD.
"Wanda? What are you doing down here?" Ian jogged down the hall to meet up with them. "Hey, I've been looking for you since breakfast. I wanted to apologize. I didn't realize that I might've been smothering you." While he chuckled slightly, there was sincerity laced in his voice and sapphire eyes.
She nodded. "It's alright." Her voice was practically undetectable but the gesture alone made Ian feel warm inside.
"What are you doing with Burns?" She hadn't noticed, but Burns had all but closed his door again. Before she could reply though, the red head did.
"I have to go, Wanda. It was nice meeting you though." Wanda didn't even have a chance to open her mouth before the door was shut in both her and Ian's face.
Ian turned his attention back to the petite blonde. "Hey, do you want to go play some soccer with the rest of us? Since it's such a nice day outside, the warden is setting us loose for an hour or two." There was that chuckle of his again. She briefly shook her head. "Well, why don't you come outside anyways? Everyone needs a little vitamin D now and then."
"Only if it's your D, baby." The sneering, whiny voice that could only belong to Lacey approached them. That was Wanda's cue to get out of there, but not before noticing the smoldering kiss shared between the two of them. Of course, it was always too good to be true. It was only when she was halfway down the hall that she heard him calling after her, but she refused to stop. She was already humiliated and didn't want to stick around for whatever else was to come next.
oOo
She heard the shouts of the others as they kicked the ball down the field, whether they shouted about a foul or cheered for a goal.
"How come you aren't out there?" She turned sharply to see a boy at the foot of her bed. She must have had a questioning look on her face because he seemed to understand her confusion. "I'm Jamie, Melanie's little brother. My parents will let me come up here from time to time to see her. I know pretty much everyone, but I've never met you before. Are you new?" How many times had she been asked that already? 'Lost count', a voice in her head responded. She just nodded her head slightly. "I saw your name on the door; Wanda, right?" She nodded again.
"Jamie, what's taking so long?" Jared jogged in, hair stuck to his forehead through sweat, while his shirt was pretty much in the same condition. 'Not a bad body', she thought to herself before directing her attention back to her journal. It was a far better therapist than any she'd had before. There was something about writing, the limitless expression of it that freed her temporarily. On paper, she was amazing, there was nothing she couldn't do or be, yet, for some cruel reason, the world made her a no one. Then, as if to spit in open wounds, they declared she was crazy.
"Do you know where it is?" She was drawn back out of her thoughts once more; she really needed to stop doing that. She stared at him, hoping he'd understand her lack of an answer. He did, for the most part. "She said she wanted a hair tie." Thank god she'd seen Melanie get one out the night before. She shuffled across the room and pulled one out of the box. "Thanks. Come on, Jamie; let's go." They both left and she let out a sigh of relief; she was finally alone again. She felt serene when things were that way.
oOo
Her face had vanished from the window, much to Ian's dismay. That was not how he wanted things to go, and it was all Lacey's fault. He was getting real tired of her shit. He noticed Jared and Jamie coming back outside before he was hit in the head with the soccer ball.
"Damn it, Ian! Get your head back in the game."
"Would you calm down, Kyle, it's only a game for crying out loud."
"Someone better call in the SWAT team, the O'Sheas are at it again." Aaron mocked.
"Well we sure as hell beat your ass last night."
:Ian shook his head. This was the last thing he needed; he just managed to get away from all the tranquilizers and drugs and he certainly didn't want anymore. Looking around the field, no one was really interested in the game anymore. Wanda and Burns were no where to be found, Kyle, Aaron and Brandt were at it again, Jared, Melanie and Jamie were practically playing house, and he wasn't even sure what Jeb was doing, just sort of standing there staring off into space or something.
That was it; he was officially bored and needed something to keep himself busy before he acted out or did something stupid. It was then that Mel called him over.
"So, what's going on between you and the new girl?" She asked in a knowing tone.
"What are you talking about? She's nice, but she's said more to Burns than she has to me. Even if I did like her, and I'm not saying I do, it's pretty obvious she doesn't feel the same."
"She's just really quiet. Do you remember how Sunny was when she first got here? And look at her now; she just needed some time to warm up to everyone."
"Whatever, whether he admits it or not, she's just his latest conquest. Just like Trudy, Lilly, and more recently, Lacey. Need I go on?" Brandt rattled.
"At least someone has their head screwed on straight."
"No one asked you, Lacey." Melanie sneered.
"You're just mad because he didn't want you."
"Or maybe you are because you finally realized you're just another girl, another notch on his belt he'll forget about in a few months. Is that why you've been acting out? What, trying to leave your mark?"
Lacey pounced on Melanie, scratching her face, but it wasn't long before the brunette gained the upper hand, leaving it up to the boys to pull them apart before the nurses noticed or it would be back to upped doses for them.
When it was clear she had lost, Lacey scurried away, avoiding further embarrassment, all the while Mel shouted obscenities behind her. "Yeah, you better get out of here! And don't come back."
So, I feel like this one was long for me!:) And I bet people are rolling their eyes cuz I do when people write like 100 words and say it was long… first world problems. Also, I've decided I'm in love with Jared Leto. Pretty much, I'm just gonna rant down here. If you have questions like about the story or me or life (I'll pretend to be a therapist if ya want lolol), review or PM me!:) Also, do you want me to respond to reviews? Cuz I always do for PMs but I don't want to respond to a review and have you be like ugh, cluttering my inbox if it wasn't a question or anything cuz I hate that to sorta. It kinda depends like if someone's just like thanks and their really nice about it I'm like aww but if their like yep I'm like oh… Well, I think I'm done now…:3