Santana really thinks she's found the one this time.
Quinn is perfect, in every literal and figurative sense of the word: Beautiful. Charming. Sexy. Sweet. A few weeks back, she came to New York on a Wednesday, just because Santana had been complaining about her period cramps, and then she'd spoon-fed Santana chicken noodle soup until the brunette had dozed off, her head tucked under the blonde's chin.
If that isn't perfect, well then, Santana doesn't want to know what is.
If only perfect things could last forever.
"Hello? Santana? You there?" Rachel snaps her fingers in front of the Latina's face, trying to wake her up.
"Probably too busy dreaming about her girlfriend," Kurt smirks as he plops down next to Santana on the couch. "What did Quinn text you this time?"
Santana quickly snatches her phone away from his prying eyes. "Quinn hasn't texted me yet, but that's still none of your business, Lady Hummel," she snarks. Kurt laughs and holds both his hands up in surrender.
"Oooh, Santana's in loooove!" Rachel sings as she bounces around the room.
"Shut your mouth, Berry, or I'll shut it for you," Santana all but rolls her eyes.
"Not until you tell me what's up. What's got ya goin, home dawg?" Rachel tries to slur.
Kurt and Santana share a look before Kurt fake gags behind Rachel's back.
"Oh God, Berry, don't ever say that again. I think my ears died more than when I hear you sing your daily warm ups," Santana air vomits along with Kurt, who can barely keep his giggling to himself.
Rachel pouts. "Fine. But seriously, what are you thinking about? You keep dozing off and it's annoying because you aren't even at least trying to pretend like you're listening to me!"
"Rachel…" Santana warns, giving her a look, but Rachel only matches Santana's stare back. Finally, Santana huffs, internally giving up.
"Alright. If you really want to know…" Santana takes a deep breath, her face turning serious. It's something she's been thinking about for the past few months, ever since she and Quinn had become a thing.
"I was thinking of going to school again."
Rachel gasps and Kurt covers his mouth to his hand, his eyes wide as saucers. Santana just rolls her eyes at their dramatics. There's a reason she doesn't tell them everything.
"That's so amazing, Santana! Ohmygosh, I'm so proud of you!" Rachel squeals as she tries to hug Santana, but instead is pushed off the couch.
"Jeez Berry, I'm not actually in college yet. It was just a thought."
"Well, it's the thought that counts," Kurt notes.
"Touché," Santana bumps fists with him before turning back to see Rachel beaming.
"So, have you thought about what major you want to do?"
Santana sighs. "Not really. I haven't even decided what college I want to go to."
Rachel already has her phone whipped out and ready. "Well, there's a bunch of community colleges in New York. Oh look!" She waves her phone in front of Santana's and Kurt's faces. "There's one only a few minutes away from NYADA!"
"Oh please," Santana deadpans. "Like I'd ever want to go to school near you two again."
"Well, you practically live with us," Kurt points out.
"That's more than enough of the two of you, trust me," Santana scoffs, but the two others only roll their eyes. They know how Santana really feels about them.
The trio sits in silence for a few minutes, Kurt stroking his boyfriend pillow, Rachel scrolling rapidly on her phone, and Santana staring at nothing in particular, thinking about a certain blonde-haired girl in New Haven.
It's a tiny question that catches all three of them by surprise, even though Santana has been thinking about this for awhile now.
"What if I go to school in New Haven?"
Kurt just gapes at her.
Rachel has a twinkle in her eyes that Santana can't understand.
"That's so romantic!" she gushes sweetly.
"Fuck off, Berry," Santana's voice lacks malice as she heads back to her bedroom.
Before she can draw the curtains tight, she hears a small, "We'd miss you though," and Santana knows she'll miss them too.
She calls her girlfriend later that night.
Girlfriend. Gosh, she loves that word.
Santana frowns when she reaches the tenth ring before hanging up without leaving a voicemail. She feels a little empty, a little hurt, because even before they'd begun dating, Quinn had never missed one of her calls.
She suddenly misses Quinn. A lot. She hasn't seen her girlfriend since two weeks ago, but after that, Quinn's had to cancel every other meeting because she's too busy at school.
Santana accepts it because she knows Quinn's doing amazing things up there at Yale.
It still doesn't wipe away the feeling of emptiness in the brunette's heart, though.
She decides to text.
Hey babe, I wanna tell you something. Call me when you get the chance? Love you – S
That night, she sleeps on Quinn's side of the bed.
I'm sorry for not answering! I was so busy studying. Call me tonight at 8? I promise I'll pick up! Love you more – Q
All day that day, Santana is jittery and smiling all over the place.
7:58 pm
Santana sits on her bed, phone in hand. She's so excited to tell her girlfriend that she wants to go to college again.
7:59 pm
Kurt pokes his head in to ask Santana a question, but is immediately shushed by the brunette as she begins to dial Quinn's number. Kurt smirks but not before snapping a pic of Santana's giddy smile and blushing cheeks and then leaving quietly.
8:00 pm
Santana's heart beats impossibly fast as she hold the phone to her ear. Finally, finally, she gets to hear the voice of angels, Quinn's voice.
One rings goes by…then two, three, four…
Santana shifts nervously on her bed. Her heart's beating loud, but for a different reason this time.
Firve, six, seven, eight…nine…ten…eleven –
"Hi, you've reached Quinn Fabray-"
Santana frowns as she hangs up and tries again.
"Hi, you've reached Quinn Fabray-"
And again. Maybe third time's a charm.
"Hi, you've reached Quinn Fabray-"
After the thirteenth time, Santana finally gives up. She can't help but mourn as the sinking feeling in her chest settles in for the night.
There's not even a text the next day. Nothing. Radio silence. Santana tells her herself that she should be understanding: Quinn's at Yale and Yale's grueling. It's not like Quinn's blowing her off for another person. She's just busy with schoolwork.
Right?
Rachel and Kurt pretend not to notice how Santana's gotten a little bitchier, how she's gotten more aggressive and aggravating. They ignore it because they know – they know why Santana's acting this way.
Of course, Rachel, being Rachel Berry, tries to talk it out with Santana, but she's always shut down immediately. Rachel doesn't take it personally, though, but she does wish Santana would let her in.
A month passes. 37 days to be exact, and Santana is sad. She's confused too, and scared, because she doesn't even know if she can call Quinn her "girlfriend" anymore. The thought frightens her, but it's all she can think about these days.
Quinn does pick up her phone, occasionally.
What saddens Santana the most is the she can count the number of words Quinn's said to her in the past 37 days on her hands.
"Sorry." "I was busy." "Tomorrow." "I promise."
But that promise never came.
Only when she finds herself eating chips on the couch and watching "Dora the Explorer" (while randomly shouting along to the Spanish) does Santana finally realize that she needs to do something about this. She can't just live her life moping around forever.
(Ok, so maybe Rachel had said that to her but that was beside the point.)
And Santana's only realized it now, but ever since she and Quinn had started dating (if she can even call it that now), she's never gone to visit Quinn at Yale. Quinn's always come down to New York. She doesn't know why, but every time she's hinted at it, Quinn has always turned her down. And schoolwork has always been the excuse.
So on Friday, she gets off work early, packs a weekend bag, and boards the first train to New Haven to hopefully save her dying relationship.
Yale is huge. And it's absolutely breathtaking. Much like Quinn.
Santana's glad that she wore Quinn's Yale sweatshirt that Quinn had left at the Buschwick apartment because it gives her easy access to the dorm rooms.
She feels as if Quinn's door is mocking her and maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come here unannounced.
Santana hears laughter behind her. It's a mix of two voices, but one she recognizes very well. One that sounds like the voice of angels.
"Santana?"
Santana turns around and the second she sees Quinn, her anger disappears. How can she be angry when there's the most gorgeous woman she's ever seen standing before her? Quinn is standing there shyly, biting her lip, and looking as sexy as ever. Gosh, she's perfect.
A cough interrupts her thoughts. Santana turns to see a girl standing next to Quinn, impatiently tapping her foot. She's short, a redhead, but what breaks Santana's heart most is that she's pretty. And she's probably nice and caring and thoughtful and sensitive - things that made Santana just about gag.
"Oh!" Quinn jumps. "Katie, this is Santana. Santana, Katie." Her introductions are short and quick, as if she's trying to speed up this awkward moment.
Katie smiles at Santana, but receives a glare in return. It doesn't seem to faze her because she just beams wider and says, "Nice to meet you, Santana! I've heard so many good things about you."
And just like that, Santana's suspicions are confirmed.
Katie is nice and caring and thoughtful and sensitive. And she's standing too close to Quinn.
Santana gives a short nod back, but if looks could kill, Katie would be a puddle of water on the floor now. Santana hates this jealous feeling, but that's her girlfriend that Katie's laughing with, that's her girlfriend that Katie's standing next to. Her girlfriend, not Katie's.
Katie is also smart (well hello, she's in Yale, and Santana hates her even more), but also because she can feel the tension in the air. So she gives Quinn a hug (Santana practically explodes at this) and says, "Thanks for keeping your promise of lunch! I'll see you later!"
Thankfully she disappears soon after, because any longer and Santana would have gone to jail for murder.
But just like that, Santana's anger is back. She shoulders her bag as she stares Quinn down.
"What are you doing here?" the blonde asks quietly, opening her door and allowing Santana to step into her dorm.
"I should be asking you that, Quinn. What have you been doing that's so important you can't even answer my calls?" Santana tries to keep the anger in her voice, but she's on the verge of fuming. Her hands ball into tight fists as she watches Quinn slowly sit down on her bed.
"I told you," Quinn says softly. "I've been busy with school."
"Bullshit, Quinn. Bull. Shit. So busy you can have lunch with some redhead who's desperately trying to get in your pants but you can't even text your own girlfriend?"
Quinn looks down at her hands. "Santana-"
"Oh no, don't 'Santana' me. You obviously have your priorities right. Keeping your promises to Katie and not me. If you don't want me anymore, you just had to say it. Well, good job Quinn. You certainly made your message clear."
Santana turns to walk out the door, but not before noticing how Quinn looks panicked.
"Santana, wait-" Quinn grabs Santana's wrist pulling her back. It almost breaks her heart when she sees Santana literally flinch at the touch.
"Get off of me." Santana tries to wrench her hand from Quinn's grip.
"No, Santana, please stay. I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry. Just, please, don't leave me…" Quinn's crying now and it absolutely breaks Santana's heart, but she's not going to let Quinn win this round.
"It was obviously a mistake coming here."
"No, Santana, please. I'm sorry. Just let me explain, okay?"
"Explain what? You're obviously busy with school, and I get that. Finals are a few weeks away and I understand. And you've made new…friends. I get it, I really do. I'm just your stress reliever, right?" Santana chuckles bitterly. "I always knew what we had wasn't real."
"Don't say that," Quinn pleads, her tears falling down her cheeks. "You're more than that to me. You know that."
"I can tell. You tell me almost everyday," Santana bites back sarcastically.
Quinn visibly deflates at that, and though it tugs at Santana's heartstrings, she doesn't give in to it.
"Look," Santana sighs. She can feel the wet tears on her face, too, but she's done fighting at this point. Quinn keeps giving out vague excuses, and Santana will only give what she gets.
If Quinn can't, Santana won't.
So Santana gives up.
"I can't keep doing this. If you aren't serious about us, then…" Santana chokes on her tears, not even trying to finish the statement.
"No!" Quinn almost shouts. "No, Santana, I am serious about us! I-"
"You're just looking for something casual. A stress reliever. I get it. But I'm done being used."
Quinn's angry and frustrated at this point. "Santana, you don't understand. I love you and I will always put you first and-"
Santana laughs bitterly. She's almost dying from laughter. "Yeah, sure thing, Quinn. Sure."
"Give me the chance to prove it to you, Santana," Quinn begs. "Please. I love you. I'll change. I promise."
"Can you promise you'll be around for summer at least?" Santana challenges. She can't put up with another broken promise. It breaks her twice as bad.
Quinn freezes. Her eyes dart everywhere except at Santana.
"Santana…" Quinn hesitates. "I haven't told you this, but…"
"But what?" Santana knows she won't want to hear what Quinn has to say, but being the masochist that she is, she eggs her on. "What is it?"
"It's just…I uh…I got an internship over the summer," Quinn finally breathes out. "In London. And Katie is coming with me."
A/N: Dun dun dun! Sorry if it was bit rushed, but I just wanted to post something for you guys especially cuz today's my 16th birthday!
P.S. This chapter just breaks my heart! Why is Quinn acting like this all of a sudden? Well, tell me what you thought. Love you all!