N

I must be insane. That's the only explanation for what I'm doing. What am I thinking? I brought home a Living. Brought a Living into a town full of Corpses. None of the others would be so stupid. I don't know what got into me. I just - I couldn't leave her there without knowing why. Seeing her made me feel, completely on my own, for the first time since I woke up like this. I have to figure this out. I have to know what makes her so special.

I slip away from the group without saying good-bye to Gr, not wanting to bring any attention to the fact that I've got a companion. We've been remarkably lucky so far, no reason to push that luck over the edge of the cliff. I find myself hoping that Audrey doesn't try to pull anything. I don't want to hurt her but I can't let her try and run here. She wouldn't make it a half-mile before the others realised she's alive. We can run when we want, but you can definitely tell the difference between the gait of a Living and a Corpse. Living don't run like drunk people with feet that have fallen asleep.

Also there's part of me that thinks she's probably more than capable of kicking my ass if she got it in her mind.

We're nearly to my house when Audrey tries to tug her arm away again and murmurs a desperate, "Please." I turn and press a finger to my lips for silence, shooting a significant look at the pair of Corpses on the other side of the road. She looks frightened by my reaction but she presses her lips together, which I take as acquiesce, so I start walking again. I open the door to the shop and pull her in behind me, despite her physical protests, and then shut the door behind us firmly.

As soon as I let go of her wrist, Audrey hugs her arm to her chest and staggers backward away from me. She cowers into the corner, her wide eyes fixed on me. Now that I'm finally looking at her properly, I can see that she's been crying. There are salty tracks dried on her cheeks and her eyes are bloodshot and swollen. I cringe slightly and look around for some way to make it better. I step forward and Audrey cowers, curling in on herself.

"Awh-dree," I say. "No..." I struggle to figure out the right word to say it and mime chewing, "...eat." She whimpers. "S-safe." I get no reaction from her apart from her sobbing again.

I may not be the best at figuring out emotions and feelings and such, but even I can tell when it's time to give someone some space. So I slowly turn and shuffle out of the building, leaving her to collect herself. I will figure out what exactly the hell I'm supposed to do now, and then I'll come check on her again. But for now it's clear she needs some time to be alone and that's something even I can give her.

I leave the store, knowing she won't go anywhere, but I don't go far. Just in case she has no self-preservation. I round the corner of the alley to where an old blue truck is parked. It's one of those places where I like to hang out when I need to get away from the the house. I don't think the truck is actually functional anymore, and the windscreen is missing, but there is something liberating about sitting behind the wheel.

I settle into the bench seat and stare at the wooden fence in front of the truck thoughtfully. There's more I need to know about Audrey, to figure out who she is and why she makes me react and feel. Eating her boyfriend's brains is probably not the best method, but it's the quickest one I've got. Reaching into my pocket, I scrape out a handful of gray matter and put it in my mouth.

..."So Chris, you're working in agriculture?" The older man, Vince Teagues, has a heavily lined face and his eyebrow arches into an unnaturally high curve as he glances across the desk at you.

"It was the best fit for me, sir." You shuffle where you stand, staring uncertainly at the way your boots ruffle the worn rug. Dusty black on maroon like dried blood. "I worked in horticulture before this; marine, really, but it's same general ideas. It seemed like the best way to help."

"You ever thought about working in patrol?" Vince asks. "That was a good catch you made, spotting that weakness in the wall a few weeks back. We could use sharp eyes like yours on the defences."

"Don't let him bully you, Chris." You look over your shoulder to the sound of the voice you've grown so fond of in the last few weeks. Audrey is standing in the doorway, in so tight jeans and a violet top that makes the colour in her cheeks bolder. Brighter. "He just thinks that the only valuable thing we can do is to build bigger walls and bigger guns and somehow fight this thing to death."

"Without that wall and those guns, we'd all be dead now," Vince reminds her, the frustration in his voice showing that this is an argument they've had before. "You wouldn't have survived much longer on your own; you and Duke would've died."

"That doesn't mean there aren't other things that are just as important," Audrey says fervently. "Like keeping all these people healthy and alive, and looking for a cure for all of those people out there."

"The only cure for those things out there is a bullet in their heads," Vince says darkly.

Audrey frowns at him for a moment and then turns her attention to you. "C'mon Chris, you ready?" You nod, eager to be out of the awkward situation, and take the hand she extends to you. As you're walking out of the manor she adds, "Don't mind him, he's just touchy today. It's Dave's birthday."

Your mind fills with images of the younger Teagues brother, with his semi-circle of white hair and thick glasses, his tatty sweater vest and short stature that still somehow managed to convey power. You met him a few times and you liked him. Vince used to be nicer back then too, but you suppose putting a bullet in your brother's brain when he turns into a flesh-eating monster will change anyone...

..."C'mon, hurry up," she says, tugging your hand. "This is the only way out of the Compound without passing guards." She pulls you through the back walkway and to a section of wall made of sheeted steel bolted into place. She pulls back a piece of corrugated metal to reveal a hidden path, a narrow tunnel that winds through the interior of the wall.

She looks back at you and smiles. "Don't be a chicken," she teases. "You want to see your dad and this is the only way."

You hesitate, your heart racing, but you nod and slip into the passage. She follows and then takes your hand and leads the way. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea," you say. "Just us alone outside the wall with nothing but two 9mm."

"This way is deserted," she says confidently. "I've been through a few times and it's fine. Besides, you haven't heard from your dad in a week. This way comes out not far from the electrical warehouse."

You nod reluctantly and let her lead the way. Tunnel full of debris... half-flooded sewer that smells of dank... vacant football field littered with the remains of squatter camps... staircase where Audrey slides down the banister with a laugh that makes you smile... then finally you're in the open air, on the edge of a field of dry, overgrown grasses.

"That's it there," she says and points at the large warehouse, thick black power lines strung from the building all the way up to the walls of Haven; one of three sources for all of the power used in the compound. Audrey's fingers are woven in yours as you walk across the open expanse to the warehouse.

At the front door Audrey points and you find the familiar figure, the back of the head toward you but unmistakable. Relief washes through you like cool water soothing a burn. You push the door open and step inside. "Dad!"

You walk a few feet in and frown when the smell hits you. It's not the normal smell, the stifling heat of moving bodies and the sharpness of electricity, the muffled thickness of rubber and wires. No, the smell is a sickening sweet, cloying scent. The smell that clings to the areas infected by the dead.

"Chris, wait," Audrey hisses and jogs up behind you.

At that moment, the figures that are dotting the warehouse floor all turn to look at you. You can't take your eyes off your dad though and you stare straight into his bleached eyes. "No," you breathe, feeling your heart drop into your stomach.

"Chris." Audrey grabs your elbow and starts to tug you back, but your feet are rooted to the floor. Not your dad. He's all the family you have left since Mom died when you were a kid. And now he's gone, dead but not dead. "Chris, we've got to go."

Dad tilts his head, staring at you in interest, and then suddenly he bares his teeth and growls. He charges at you, the other Corpses not far behind, and you finally are scared into action. You stumble backwards several steps, trying to get your feet to function properly while Audrey pulls your arm so hard it nearly sends you sprawling. The snarls of the Corpses are getting closer with every second and the door to the warehouse seems so far away.

You trip over a cord and roll to an awkward stop on the dirty ground. You flip onto your back and stare up in horror as your father closes in on you, blood-stained teeth bared and prepared to sink into you.

And then he recoils, his head snapping backward in time with the explosive crack of a gunshot from above your head. Audrey lowers her gun and grabs your arm, helping you up, and you both race the last few yards to the door. You stumble through and slam the door shut behind you, and Audrey wedges a broken pole through the doorhandle. "C'mon," she says, taking your hand and setting off again.

You don't even realise you're crying until she meets your gaze and her terror morphs into pity and regret. "I'm so sorry." You brush away the apology and keep running. What's done is done. Now all you need to focus on is getting Audrey back to safety...

...You feel adrenaline pulsing through your veins, rushing through that hollow space in your chest that you've felt ever since that day at the warehouse. It feels good to finally feel like you're doing something. Anything to stop any more people from having to go through what you did. Determination. Patriotism. Resignation.

"You sure about this?" Vince fixes you in that gaze, the one that's so serious and so much older and more exhausted than he appears.

"Yes, sir," you respond firmly.

Vince nods and puts a hand on your shoulder. "Welcome to the Guard, son." He glances over his shoulder at a soldier and nods to him. "Get him a gun and show him how to handle it."

As the enormous soldier steps up to show you how to use the military-grade rifle, you look down the line to where Audrey is standing. She meets your eyes and there's nothing but sadness there...

I swallow the pulverised gray matter and settle back against the bench, musing on what I've just seen. It's no wonder she's afraid of me, with all she's been through. She lost this Dave, this man who seemed to have been close to her, to Corpses, and then had to shoot her boyfriend's father in the head. Then I ate her boyfriend, although I'm not sure she realises that just yet. I guess I can't really blame her for wanting nothing to do with me.

Clearly I need a different approach in getting through to her.

Wiping my hand off on my trouser leg, I climb down out of the truck and make my way back to my house. There's another Corpse hanging around the back door curiously but I snarl at him as I walk up and he wanders off, getting the point. That's one thing that is pretty great about Corpses; we all understand the rights of territory and don't mess with other people's things.

I let myself into the store and look around once the door is shut firmly behind me. I spot Audrey curled up on herself in a corner. She's got some sort of sharp, metal object in her hands, holding it in front of her defensively, and she watches me suspiciously. I take a step toward her and she lifts up the object - it turns out to be a screwdriver - and brandishes it at me threateningly. I hesitate and then step back, getting her point.

Turning around, I head over to the heap of blankets that I tripped over last night. I shove aside the top two because they're dirty and blood-spattered, but underneath them is a heavy quilt in pretty blues that's decently clean and I pick it up. I walk carefully back over to her and hold out the blanket. She eyes me distrustfully but she doesn't make any move to shank me so that's something. I shake out the blanket and then lay it over her folded legs and tuck it behind her shoulders. She whimpers and flinches when my skin touches hers, closing her eyes and turning her head away. She looks so resigned, so hopeless.

God, she thinks I'm going to hurt her.

I already told her once before that she's safe here, that I won't hurt her. I mean, I know I'm a Corpse but you can still take me for my word.

Taking several deliberate steps back, I wait for her to look at me again. "S-safe," I say. "N-not, hu-urt. K-keep you s-safe."

"Why me?" she asks, her voice a bit hysterical as a tear rolls across her cheek. "Why did you save me?"

Isn't that the question of the year? I shrug because that's all the answer I have. I don't know why I saved her, what it is that makes her so special, I just know that she is. And that I want her to stop being so sad. "D-don't, c-c-cry," I try weakly.

Audrey sobs and closes her eyes again. This isn't working. I need to find some other way to communicate with her, to assure her that I don't want to hurt her. I just want to understand her. I just want to know why I feel a connection to another thing for the first time since I died.

So I use the only other thing I feel connected to.

Shuffling across the room, I take the current vinyl off the record player and tuck it back onto the shelf. I fumble through them until I find one I wanted, the one that sounds like sadness. Audrey is sad, but maybe if she feels it with the music it will go away. Mostly I just want her to know that I know she's sad. I understand, as much as I can. Pulling out the vinyl, I set it on the player and settle the needle into the start.

The music is slow and lush, full of so many different instruments, but it's the voice I like. The woman's voice is - soothing. I sit down in my little nest, where I'm close to the music but I can still see Audrey, and I let the music wash through the room. I close my eyes and sway in tempo with the music, trying to show her that I - well not that I feel it, but that I know that it should feel. I wait patiently, not wanting to startle her, and after a while I get lost in the music. The track changes from one song to another, a sweeter, higher song.

"What are you?"

I open my eyes, surprised by Audrey's question, and find her staring at me in rapt fascination. What am I? What kind of question is that? I mean, I'm a Corpse. I know I'm a little different than the others but that doesn't change what I am. I don't think so anyway. Maybe I'm not a Corpse. At least not a normal Corpse. After all I did just bring home a Living, and that's not exactly a normal Corpse thing to do.

Lost for an answer, I shrug and settle further down into my nest.