AN: Just to spite my co-author, I'm starting a second chapter
I floated in what seemed like purgatory for several seconds, before I realized it was just the airbags of my 1899 Horsey Horseless that deployed into my face as I left the lower stratosphere. Upon realizing my mistake, I looked at my rear-view mirror and found that, instead of a mortal flesh wound in the side of my head, there was actually living tissue on top of a metal endoskeleton; I had read about this before in the papers, but never before had I expected to be a Destructinator (unrelated to the Orion Pictures film The Terminator). Now not only was I attracted to a married gay lizard father, but I was also a robot from the future hell-bent on destroying humanity's only hope. I looked back at the mangled corpse that was the lizard in question and found only one option remained. As we plummeted towards the earth, I found the time to remove the lizard's teeth and fasten them into a fine necklace with matching earrings. We smashed into the crust of the earth with a sickening crunch, though it did not make a dent in my newly realized exoskeleton. The wreck has also left me completely nude, so I took it upon myself to skin the lizard to make a lizard-skin g-string to cover my naughty bits. ;)
Upon clambering out of the fiery wreck that was my Horsey Horseless, I found myself surrounded by the entire Police Department of Wyoming. Standing in the middle of them all, shielding a young boy's eyes, was none other than the husband of the gay lizard father whom I had just murdered and skinned. Tears openly flowed down his face as I made eye contact with him and he saw what had become of his beloved, and I managed to mouth the words "I'm sorry" before springing into action. I slipped on my pair of Moon-Shoes (The incredible anti-gravity shoes) and jumped over the police to face the lizard up close. Upon further inspection, it turned out whom I initially had mistaken for the gay lizard's companion was actually a dirty cosplayer who decided to rubber-neck like some stupid jerk. The policemen began opening fire without cause and a stray round bounced off my armor-plated buttock and struck the cosplayer between the eyes. Sinced I had put all of my skill points into vehicle repair, I quickly repaired the 1899 Horsey Horseless and sped past the cops at a somewhat baffling speed. As I exited the scene of the crime/murder/inadvertent homicide, the Witney Dion song I Will Always Go On (unrelated to both the Whitney Houston song I Will Always Love You and Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On) blasted from the radio of the 5-0's vehicles.
Without further delay, I put on my Ray-Band Aviator Sunglasses and said some cool-ass line before slamming on the brakes, increasing the speed by up to 5 miles per hour as I sped across the parking lot. Looking back, I found that Johnny Law was still hot on my tail (or rather, gay lizard father's tail (get it guise)), and just like Lelma and Thouise (unrelated to the MGM feature film Thelma and Louise), I grabbed the hand of the now rotting corpse beside me, feeling the once vibrant hand of the ass bandit next to me hang limp as that one guitar song played from the end of Thelma and Louise. I pressed my big toe onto the accelerator and kissed the pallid lips of the corpse next to me as our car drove off the edge of the parking lot and into the ravine beside it while Harvey Keitel (a local actor/detective for the Police Department of Wyoming) ran after us.
The 1899 Horsey Horseless careened off the edge going a monstrous 22 miles per hour before all known matter in the universe went into a sort of frozen frame, if you will. That one guitar song died out as our car hung limply over the air, leaving our fate to the imagination of the viewing audience (dis is u guise).
Chapter 3: Epilogue
They all did deaded.
Chapter 4: The End.
We done