Authors Note: Huge apologies for not updating in such a long time. I doubt most of you will remember this story. Hopefully you do. Every time I sat down to write the flashback chapter, I couldn't do it. I never planned or plotted anything in here and I realise now that it was a mistake. This whole story is a jumble and a mess, kind of like the show. So many mysterious and you know nothing. Sigh. I really am sorry. I feel terrible. The last time I updated was early August, wow. My writing and it's style has changed since then so you may notice a few changes. Again, I'm sorry. This was going to be a flashback chapter, but it won't be now. Sorry! Please tell me your thoughts. Sorry, this will be lame.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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"It started when - " The sound of Spencer's phone cuts Toby off, just as he's about to launch into his explanation of the whole Alison thing. She wants to ignore it, to hear what he has to say but on the other hand she doesn't want to have to hear a single word. Her eyes glance at the caller ID: Hanna. She picks it up, and before she can even say hello, Hanna's crying. Sobbing hysterically, words about Alison and a car accident and hospitals blurring together.

And, the phone is slipping out of Spencer's hands and she's rushing out words like I'll be right there, the previous fight with Alison long forgotten and the new information about her past with Toby put out of her mind for the time being.

"We're leaving." Spencer states, no room for any protests, no room for questions. A car accident? This is her fault. If only she hadn't questioned her so soon, if only she had waited, had discovered the truth a bit more. But, she knows this isn't her fault, and right now she just needs to get to the hospital and be by her best friends side. She's already lost her once, she's not losing her again.

It's raining outside, pouring down with rain. Where did this kind of weather even come from? Spencer races outside, fumbling around in her bag for her keys, which she's unable to find. Tears are clouding her vision, blurring everything in sight. She tries wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her jumper but it's no use, and then she drops her keys in a puddle. Like this night could get any worse? She lets out a groan. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Toby swoops down and picks them up for her, drying the keys off on his shirt. Greedily, she sticks her hand out awaiting for the keys to be dropped in her hand. Instead, Toby opens up the car door and slides inside.

"You're not driving," He tells her. She's not going to argue, she doesn't feel up to driving. She feels like she's been run over by a car herself (but she doesn't even know what happened in Alison's accident). It hurts - it hurts that she had already lost Alison. It hurts that she might lose her again. Spencer's usually the strong one, the one who bottles her emotions and gets on with the task but she's not ready for it this time. Not when she's already been through this before, a funeral and tears and parting friendships. No. She's not going to go back there.

Toby asks where they're going, and Spencer is barely able to even utter the word hospital. It seems like it takes forever, locations blurring past in slow motion outside. Rain coming to a drizzle, only to start back up in a whirlwind again. She races out of the car as fast as she can, forgetting about Toby. Alison is her main priority. Alison Alison Alison, but as she becomes closer to the desk, she comes to a sudden halt. Thoughts about what happened between Toby and Alison swirling around in her head, the phone call interrupted what Toby was about to tell her.

"I don't think I can go in there without knowing what happened between you," She breathes out as Toby walks up to her. She knows that she's using it as an excuse. She could stride in there not caring (okay, maybe caring just a little) but that's not what's stopping her. She just doesn't want to have to see Alison. In pain, after what happened earlier in the day, after what Toby said.

"Nothing really happened, Spence," He pauses, expecting you to go off. To be reassured. You bite your lower lip, wringing your hands together. "She needs you." And that, that's, enough to send you confidently storming off towards the direction of the front desk and asking where Alison DiLaurentis may be located within this fucking hospital.

::

"Thank god, you're here!" Hanna exclaims, rushing off towards Spencer. Handing her a cup of coffee, and guiding her off into the direction of where the other girls were huddled around Alison. Including Mona.

"What happened?" Spencer asks, running a hand through her hair as she surveys the scene. Alison lying in a hospital bed, her arm in a cast. Her free hand flicking through pages of a magazine. Mona is perched on a chair on the right side of her bed. Emily and Aria are perched on the left side of her bed, flicking through the magazine with her. It takes a moment before Hanna answers her question.

"She was driving, and this car just smashed right into her car. It's a miracle that she only ended up with a broken wrist," Hanna awkwardly laughs off the last bit of the sentence shooting a look towards the other girls. Spencer takes a step forward, nearing closer towards Alison when the blondes head shoots up. Glaring at Spencer as if she were her worst enemy, as if she was the one that tried to kill her.

"Leave, Spencer. Leave now, why would I want you here?" Alison whispers, shaking her head. Eyes cold, and unforgiving. It feels as though Spencer has been slapped. She takes a shaky step backwards, almost ready to throw in the towel and walk away like Alison wants. But, she doesn't. Instead, she steps forward, closer and closer and closer until her legs are touching the front of the hospital bed.

"Why?" Spencer asks, towering over Alison. "Why don't you want me here? Why should I go? Am I suddenly just not your friend anymore?" Spencer feels close to tears. Why shouldn't she? It feels like everything bad always - always - happens to her. She doesn't realise that she's been shouting until a nurse comes inside Alison's room to see what all the fuss is about. She barely notices then, because her eyes are stuck to Alison. Alison who's bawling her eyes out, and her friends looking at Spencer like she's the fucking devil.

"I'm sorry," Spencer whispers, moving closer towards Alison. The blonde doesn't protest when Spencer leans down and wraps her arms around her.

"No, I'm sorry. I was just so mad from earlier," Alison whispers back. To say it's a shock is an understatement. Alison DiLaurentis apologising? Fucking apologising? Who thought they would ever see the day? A small smile breaks across Spencer's face as she smooths out Alison's hair, like she's saying it's okay, everything is going to be okay. Even if they weren't, even if she didn't know because for once it felt nice to pretend.

"So, are you two good now?" Hanna's voice breaks in, breaking Spencer out of her thoughts. Alison lets out a small laugh, that almost - almost - sounds genuine. This is Alison we're talking about. Spencer nods her head, letting out a laugh of her own.

It's not long until the nurse comes back into the room, ordering all of them out. Something about visiting hours being over and that they all need their sleep and such. Toby's sitting in the waiting room, waiting. He stands up as he spots Spencer coming around the corner, the other girls absent from her side and a coffee in her hand. She's not sure what's supposed to happen now. Is she supposed to listen to a tale about Toby and Alison and a fling? A relationship? A something? On one hand she wants to, needs to, know and on the other hand she wants to remain in the dark for as long as possible.

Spencer smiles tiredly at him as she gives him a quick, small hug. Her eyes quickly falling to her feet as his hand encloses over hers. He's whispering something about going home, but she's not really listening. Not really paying attention. Which is unusual for her, she's always alert, always there. She doesn't start to protest until the they get to the car.

"I think I might stay at Hanna's tonight, with the girls. After what happened with Alison, I think we need it." Spencer rushes out, adding a smile to the end of the sentence because now she kind of wants it. The four of them need it (and no, Mona will never be one of them) after everything they've gone through these past few years. Toby stays silent as Spencer pulls out her phone, sending a text to all the girls propositioning the idea.

Toby lets out a sigh, watching as Spencer looks behind her back. He knows that she's avoiding the whole Alison thing. He wants to say something, anything, to bring it up yet, he also wants to let it go. To have Spencer never know. To have it all be in the past. He knows that isn't a possibility though, that it'll come up again another time.

"I think that's a good idea, Spence," Toby says warmly. He looks around, searching for the girls. "Will you need a ride or ?" He trails off. Spencer spins back around to face him, shaking her head.

"No, I'll be fine." She promises, placing a small kiss against his cheek before running off towards where Hanna is standing with Emily. Toby watches her for a second before sliding into his car and backing out of the hospital. He has one last look at Spencer, getting into Hanna's car before putting his eyes on the road. Or, that was the plan. However, standing in the doorway of the hospital entrance is a blonde girl who looks a lot like Alison, clad in a hospital gown and all. It's enough to scare him into stalling the car for a second, he looks down at the wheel and then back at where he saw Alison only to see nothing in it's place. He has to remind himself that while sometimes it seems he lives inside a horror movie, he actually doesn't before he can even think about driving again.

::

"How crazy was Alison getting hit by a car?" Aria sighs, flicking through a magazine. Eyes half focused on the movie playing on the screen, and half focused on the magazine in front of her and fully focused on the thoughts running through her head. Most of them involve images of cars smashing into each other and Alison lying on a hospital bed. They were this close to having to say goodbye again.

"I think it was whoever tried to kill Ali the first time," Hanna shrugs, shoveling popcorn into her mouth.

"Can we just forget about how Alison nearly died, for once?" Spencer asks through a strained voice, eyes never leaving the movie in front of her.

"I agree," Emily seconds, sending a soft smile Spencer's way as she backs her up. "I think tonight is the perfect night to just forget, and to have fun!" Emily exclaims, trying to sound as cherry and upbeat as possible. A difficult task when you're in a room full of miserable people.

"I don't think we can just forget," Aria replies, obviously annoyed. Hanna nods her head at Aria's statement, before the blonde can back the tiny brunette up, Spencer lets out a frustrated groan, throwing the remote across the room. For once she just wants to pretend that she's normal, living a normal life. Not a life that involves fake deaths, and car crashes, and A's but it seems Aria and Hanna are trying to make that task really difficult. Nobody says a word about the remote, the three other girls are shocked at Spencer's spur of the moment actions. After a few seconds of open mouthed stares, Emily crawls over to the remote and picks it up. She fits the batteries back into the remote and pauses the movie that nobody's even watching or caring about anymore.

"I think we all need to talk, let out our feelings." Emily suggests with a shrug, she sounds like a therapist but they all need this. They need to put their feelings out on the table and talk. It'll make them all feel better, at least Emily thinks it will. At least she hopes it will, she mentally corrects herself. Hanna is the first one to laugh, she does a quick look around her at the other girls before breaking into a fit of giggles. Aria soon follows Hanna's lead, and then Spencer follows unable to hold in her laughs any longer.

"I - I'm - s - sor - sorry," Hanna manages to get out through giggles, holding a hand to her chest and a hand in front of her. Aria and Spencer manage to quiet down, watching Hanna with interest only to start laughing again at Hanna's movements. Emily even joins in, tears starting to well in all their eyes. The four don't know how much time passes but it has to be hours, it just has to be. They learn to eventually quiet down, their yawns and tiredness taking over as they drift off into one of the first peaceful sleeps they've had in a while.

A peaceful sleep where they're all bundled up together, arms and legs and heads crisscrossing over each other. One blanket strewn around four girls and a mass of pillows underneath them, the movie still on pause on the t.v. It's reminiscent of when they were younger. When they were young, and they were safe and they were allowed to act their age. Spencer's the first to wake up, a noise jolting her awake. So maybe they didn't all get to have a peaceful sleep. The brunette carefully untangles herself from the mess of limbs and pillows, blonde curls catching her eye.

It wakes her up more than coffee ever could. She quietly chases it through her house, running on her tip toes and every time she thinks she's close to catching those blonde curls, they turn a corner. She stills in her tracks as the curls run around another corner. Maybe she's dreaming? This always happens in dreams, as she's about to move again. To turn around and head back toward the girls, because she's convinced she must be dreaming, the curls reappear with a body and a face this time. A face that looks just like Alison, and clothes that match the ones she was wearing the day she went missing.

"Ali, what are you doing? You're meant to be in the hospital, and those clothes," Spencer mumbles, trailing off as Alison or who Spencer thinks is Alison shakes her head. Okay, she must be dreaming now. The dream Alison, or the look alike Alison, or whoever she is, touches Spencer's hair, running her fingers through the tresses before laying her hand on Spencer's shoulder and lightly kissing her cheek.

"Remember, the diaries." The girl whispers, before she's running out of Spencer's door, out of her house and away from her. Spencer is left stunned, reeling from the vision. She makes her way quietly back to the girls, snuggling back up. Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream she repeats as she drifts back off to sleep.

::

Spencer is the last one to wake up in the morning and the first thing she spots is a diary lying on the coffee table in front of her.

Odd, especially considering the dream she had last night but now as she looks at the sun outside, shining brightly and the diary on the counter, she's starting to doubt it was a dream. It felt all too real, and that feeling in the pit of her stomach that says Alison isn't Alison has returned. She manages to put herself into a sitting position and reach across to the coffee table to swipe the diary.

She flicks it open, Alison's handwriting facing her. Do not look any further! is written in capital letters, a small heart next to the words written in a pretty cursive. Spencer doesn't have any time to read more as Emily comes bounding into the room, all bright smiles and holding coffee. Spencer manages to shut the diary and slide it underneath a pillow, hiding it from one of her best friends. For the moment it's to be kept a secret, her secret, Spencer's secret.

"Coffee?" Emily asks, passing it over to Spencer who greedily grabs it and raises it to her lips.

"Thanks, Em." Spencer replies, finishing the coffee off in three gulps. She offers the cup back to Emily's outstretched hands who races back off to the kitchen, to either wash the cup or make some more coffee. Spencer's kind of hoping for the latter. Hanna and Aria enter the room within a second, not giving Spencer any more time to read the diary. The two of them are making funny voices and doing something, Spencer doesn't really care for it. The three girls greet each other hello, and Aria and Hanna flop down on either side of Spencer.

"Sorry about last night," Aria shyly says, grabbing onto Spencer's arm and kissing her cheek. Like the dream Alison (or the real Alison) had done last night. Spencer forces a smile at Aria as the memory overtakes her brain, she doesn't want anybody to know about her wild theories just yet. She doesn't want to be wrong and have everybody hate her.

"Morning!" Emily exclaims as she comes into the living room. Spencer guesses that Emily, Aria and Hanna haven't exactly seen each other this morning. The three of them start to make plans to see Alison in the hospital. Spencer nods her head and agrees with everything they say, smiling here and smiling there all while thinking of a way she can escape and see what's in the diary. She's surprised that the three other girls hadn't noticed it lying on the coffee table when they got up.

Then, fucking plot twist as Mona comes skipping down Spencer's stairs and no one but Spencer is surprised by the fact that Mona apparently spent the night in Spencer's bedroom.

"Oh, Hi Spencer! Sorry, I came over early this morning and had to use the bathroom," Mona explains after seeing Spencer's face. Then certain things start to click into place, like the diary. Mona could of placed it on the coffee table, intending for Spencer to be the only one who saw it. As everyone is getting ready to pile into a car and head over to the hospital, Spencer excuses herself and rushes upstairs to stash the diary away in a safe place. She hides it underneath her clothes in her drawers. Typical and obvious, but effective.

::

The five girls, Mona included, arrive at the hospital just in time for visiting hours at Rosewood's tiny hospital. They all stumble into Alison's room, to find none other than Dr. fucking Wren Kingston treating her.

"Are you seriously the only doctor at this hospital?" Spencer asks as she walks around to Alison's bed, who has started to greet all girls. Wren smiles, ignoring Spencer's remark as he finishes cleaning up Alison's wounds before leaving the room. Hanna flops down onto Alison's bed, resting her head on her hand as the two blondes start gossiping about Penelope Woes at school. Spencer rolls her eyes, excusing herself from the room as her phone rings.

Toby, the caller ID reads. She lets out a soft sigh, and answers his call.

"Hi," Spencer says into the phone. She waits for him to reply, and after a few minutes when all she's heard is silence, she starts to worry.

"Toby, hello?" She nervously taps her nails against her legs, patiently waiting for Toby to answer.

"Yeah, hi. Sorry, the service is bad." Toby apologies, excusing his weird absence. Spencer nods her head even though he can't see her, and takes in her surroundings. The dream or the not-dream that happened last night still plaguing her mind. At the moment she's considering making up a lie and rushing off home to read the diary and get more clues, and the more she thinks about it, the more she's willing to do it.

"Where are you?" Spencer suddenly asks, interrupting Toby mid speech about needing to talk later on today. Where could he be getting bad service from? A bad lie stumbles out of his mouth about being at home but the service being bad at home? Total lie. Spencer's heart drops to the pit of her stomach because all she can think about when she hears that lie is A. Stupid fucking A, and Toby was A for a little while. Even if it was to protect her. She trusts him, she does, okay. She really does trust him but still, he can't be lying to her. She decides to let it slide, just this once and quickly gets off the phone and rushes back inside. Only to find Alison's hospital room, empty.

She doesn't bother asking herself or anyone else where they had gone, she sends Aria a quick text saying she wasn't feeling well and heads home to find the diary and find answers.

She arrives home in no time, and heads straight upstairs to her bedroom and to her drawers. She dives straight in, pushing away clothes to get to the diary that isn't where she left it. She searches everywhere in her drawers, but comes up with nothing. Until she spots something out of the corner of her eye, the diary lying on her bed. She rushes to it, flipping it open only to find the pages all torn out but one. It used to be blank, but not it holds a message from A.

Stop looking -A.

And that's what confirms her worries and fears. A wants her to stop looking, to stop digging. Why? What will she find? Something that will expose this Alison or will expose A or maybe they're the same person. Maybe the Alison lying in the hospital bed is A, and the Alison that visited Spencer in her dream is Alison and maybe it wasn't a dream. Spencer's mind runs wild with ideas as she slides down onto the ground, miserable.

Her one chance to find clues is gone. She'll have to start from scratch all over again. She lets her head fall into her hands and lets out a small groan of frustration. She'll have to start from scratch all over again. It may as well be the end of the world. Her phone beeps, forcing her to take her head out of her hands and remove it from her bag. It's a message from Aria.

HELP.

That's all that's written on the text, help? With what? And it's in capitals? Spencer has a really bad feeling about this, something telling her that her life is turning into a horror movie more than it ever has been before. Which is reinforced when her phone goes off again, but this time it's a message from A.

Either help Aria or help yourself, which will it be? - A.

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AN: This was so out of character and bad and a cliffhanger! Yay! I wanted to get this up before the new year. Your feedback may just help me write the next update a little bit faster. So sorry for the wait, again!