Authors Note: Oh god, this story is such a mess. I don't remember what has happened, I don't know what's happening in the future. Sigh. I'm really sorry.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
::
Aria, Hanna, Emily and Mona sit around a table.
Alison had left over three hours ago, after she broke out of hospital and told the four of them that she thinks something is up with Spencer, creating a web of lies to make them believe Spencer is ill. She had vaguely said something about dealing with business before leaving, but didn't give an address or a phone number. So the four girls were left sitting around the table in silence, waiting for the wicked blonde to return with news on how they can help Spencer out.
Hanna taps her nails against the table, earning annoyed glares from Aria and Emily who actually care about Spencer (aside from Hanna). Mona thinks something is up with Alison, but when she dared tried to mention it she received looks that could kill and don't you dares! It was almost like she had forgotten that she wasn't a friend, just an ally or something. If that.
"Can you stop that?" Emily finally breaks, a secret kiss from Alison in the tinkling moonlight of last night still lingering on her lips, turning her insides to mush and her heart to a puddle of glass shards. Hanna looks sharply at Emily, shrugging her shoulders carelessly as she has done so many times before.
"What?" She asks sharply, innocently. Emily decides to let it go, giving Hanna a warm smile and a nothing instead. There's no need to make fights for the sake of conversation. Or the sake of sanity as Hanna goes right back to tapping her nails against the wood, drilling a horrible rhythm in everybody's ears.
That's the moment that Alison storms in, blood staining her hands and her eyes as wild as a deer caught in headlights of a car. It looks like she's seen a ghost, a worse - was about to become a ghost.
"What happened?" Emily is the first to stand, her own eyes turning wild, turning scared. All for Alison, she basically shouts the words upon taking in her best friends and sometimes (if Alison chooses) lovers appearance. Alison waves her fingers in the air, eyes on the floor, lips wobbling as she steps towards the table and pulls out a seat.
"Nothing," Alison shakily responds. She's far from the person she was when she went missing. The girl sitting with them now is frail, ready to break, a pile of pretty bones that are losing their strength.
Mona thinks differently, but Mona doesn't have a say as she grumbles about Alison faking all of this to her advantage in her head, watching as the three other girls attend to the blondes every need and try to find out what had happened. The brunette wants to shout that the deceased girl who's not really deceased is playing them. But even Mona doesn't know that, it's a hunch. She can't go on a hunch.
Aria's phone goes off, silencing the three girls begging for answers from the wild blonde.
"It's Spencer," Aria breathes, waiting for instructions from Alison. Is she supposed to answer? Supposed to ignore it? Supposed to lie to Spencer? Supposed to tell her the truth? Aria doesn't know, Alison shakes her head and reaches forward violently. She grabs the phone out of Aria's hands and throws it behind her onto a couch.
"You can't talk to her!" Alison seethes, shaking her head as if Aria was the stupidest person in the entire world. The brunette is taken aback, sitting back in her seat in fear. That's a side she hasn't seen from Alison in a while.
"What's going on?" Hanna asks, getting straight down to the dirty questions but the question has been asked a million times before. It's a repeat of a favourite movie, the ending never changes but you love the movie anyway. Or hate it. Now Hanna's a little confused with the metaphor she's conducted in her head as she waits for the ending to change, for Alison to open her mouth and spit out all the answers they've been waiting for but even now with Alison alive they're still playing games. They're always playing games, and it always feels like Alison's the puppeteer and they're her dumb puppets, not knowing how to move, how to function without their leader.
Hanna's almost sick of it. Almost, but she doesn't want to do anything to anger Alison. To lose her, again.
What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? The questions keep rolling off of tounges, and Mona even joins in the chorous of a sad song. Yet, the ending remains the same. Alison avoids questions, dodges them, speaks in riddles and resumes the role of the all knowing leader. It's the sweetest kind of torture. It always is with Alison.
But everybody is willing to change. Everybody is willing to crack under pressure. To spill dirty secrets under lampshades with frills, magazines splayed out around them, giggles and nail polishes of the darkest shade painted on. To give in, and Alison DiLaurentis is no exception to the rule. She might just take a little longer than others.
But she cracks, she breaks like an egg. Like yolk spilling over your favourite top, ruining everything. And when Alison breaks, she snaps. Like a ruler that's been bent too many times, worn out from use.
"What is going on? Tell me, what do you want to know?" Alison screams, standing up, towering over everyone. Eyes fierce, eyes wild. It's scary, it shocks everybody silent as they watch Alison circle around them. Confident, composed even when angry. It's almost like the old Ali is back, but when did she ever leave? When did she ever stop messing with their minds, inflicting torture in the cruelest ways? Inflicting torture when they're not watching at all, silently, viciously.
"What do you want to know?" She whispers, broken. She's just playing another card, Mona wants to scream but Emily is the first to fall under her spell. She doesn't want to, she wants to be stronger, she wants to yell no but then she remembers everything Alison has been through, how much she's changed. Plus, Emily has always been the one to see Alison shine even at her worst. Emily may want to think she's strong, they would all like to think they're strong, but they're all as weak as each other.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry," Alison whimpers, her head falling into her hands. Blonde hair fans out around her as she shakes her head, bangs it against her hands in fury.
"All I've done is lie, and manipulate and hurt," She cries. Mona is almost put under her spell, almost believes her and then she does believe her. Then she is under her spell, but it's Hanna that's had enough. The other girls comfort, as Hanna grabs a plate from the kitchen and throws it against a wall. Smashing it to grab everybody's attention.
"What. Is. Going. On?" Hanna phrases slowly, looking at Alison. She repeats it, repeats the phrase once more. Slowly. Carefully. Precise.
"Alison!" She snaps, Hanna's on breaking point. She can sense that something bad is going on, and her mind flits to the one friend that isn't here. The one friend that something is up with.
"Spencer," Hanna whispers, eyes cold as she looks Alison dead straight in the eyes, "Where is Spencer?" She asks. Alison bites her lower lip, shakes her head and lets tears silently flow out of her eyes and down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry," Alison whispers brokenly. All girls can feel something bad creeping into their veins, a coldness overtaking them. "I gave her to A." Alison admits, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes, refusing to look at her friends as she chokes out more tears.
(When Alison breaks, she breaks).
"What do you mean you gave her to A?" Aria whispers harshly, like daggers being thrown into somebody's chest gently.
::
At four in the morning Spencer drives over to Toby's little apartment loft. Her most recent encounter with Alison fresh in her mind, the blonde had broken out of hospital just to torture Spencer, hadn't she? Spencer hastily wipes away the tears at her eyes as she pulls over.
"Stop it," She whispers to herself as she turns the engine off and grabs her bag, sliding out of the car and locking it behind her. It's dark all around her, no warmth from street lights that have been longed turned off for the night. The Brew is closed, so she's unable to get to Toby's that way, instead she travels around the back where she lightly knocks on the door, hoping he'll open it. He's probably asleep but she has a small bit of hope that he'll wake up, and he does. He's opening the door within seconds, a surprised look on his face when he spots Spencer.
"Spencer? What are you doing here?" He asks, softly surprised. She shakes her head, not wanting to talk about it and he steps to the side to let her come in. She dumps her bag on the floor, raising her hand to her eyes to once more wipe away tears that are starting to fall. Toby wraps his arms around her as soon as he sees her hand go up. She buries his head in his neck, but she doesn't cry. She won't cry over Alison. She won't.
(But she does).
She removes herself from Toby's embrace, and makes her way to the couch where she sits down, and Toby follows. She knows that he wants to ask what happened, but also wants to give her some time. She lets out a soft sigh and lays her head on his shoulder. She doesn't want to talk about it, she doesn't want to talk about anything. Alison isn't Alison, she just knows that something is up with her. Something evil. She had come over to pay Spencer a little visit after she had broken out of the hospital. She had wanted to let Spencer know that she was going to get the help that she needed. She had talked in rhymes and riddles of Spencer being ill, scaring the brunette of the blondes own sanity.
Alison had then given Spencer an address, telling her to meet her there at three in the morning. The girls would be there, she'd be safe and they'd get her help. The one question that was on her mind was: what help did she need? what was wrong with her? She wasn't about to go to some deserted warehouse in the middle of no where, at least Google maps was telling her that's what it was, to meet her friends so they could "fix" her for problems she doesn't even know she has.
So she had stayed home instead, curled up underneath a woolen blanket and a movie she hadn't since she was six and never wishes to see again. As she paced around her room after the movie had finished, trying to make something out of Alison's words she had chosen to come over and see Toby instead. She couldn't stand another second of pacing around her empty house when she was supposed to be meeting her best friends. Yet, none of them had texted her to ask where she was.
Maybe that weren't waiting for her. It was all a sick twisted plan that psycho Alison had come up with. Lead Spencer to the slaughter - Oh! Spencer's head snaps up, eyes wide as she realises what was going on. Who she was going to meet in the middle of nowhere.
"Alison wanted to give me over to A," She whispers, earning a confused glance from Toby who tries asking her what is going on. It all goes through one ear and out the other as she grabs her phone, quickly sending Hanna a text to meet her at home. She still can't reach Aria even though Alison had assured her that everything was fine with her, that she was with the other girls and would be at that address waiting for her despite the message she had gotten from A. Emily was too far in this love for Alison to be able to hear anything, and there would be no way Spencer would contact Mona. Hanna would listen, Hanna would help.
"Spence, what's going on?" Toby asks gently, worry creeping into his voice at the sight of a frantic Spencer. Her phone goes off, Hanna's name popping up. The brunette lets out a sigh of relief, as she presses the phone to her ear and answers the call.
"Are you okay?" Hanna asks her worriedly. Spencer's mouth twists into a frown, did she know? Spencer reassures her that is she is fine, for now at least and demands for Hanna to tell her what is going on. She listens as Hanna lets out a strangled sob.
"She was going to give you to A," Hanna explains, "We didn't know!" Hanna quickly adds, defending her honour and the other girls. Spencer briefly wonders if that includes the untrustworthy Mona whose voice she can hear in the background. Why are they trusting her again? Why are they friends with her? She's as bad as Alison, which makes her just as good Spencer guesses, rolling her eyes as she listens to Hanna explaining why Alison did it. To save her own life, saying that she chose Spencer because she knew she was smart enough not to go. Spencer knows the truth. She chose Spencer because Spencer is the one currently dating the boy Alison wants.
That's when it all clicks into place. The oddness wasn't because Alison wasn't Alison, it was because this was an Alison that Spencer hadn't seen before. A vulnerable Alison who no longer has Toby as whatever he was to her. Spencer never got to hear that story, and Spencer doesn't think she wants to hear it, even if it gives her answers. This was an Alison that hated Spencer.
"She loves you, Spence." Hanna rushes out, the brunette can hear the tears, the truth, the sincerity. Alison may love Spencer, but she hates Spencer. Hanna's saying something else, trying to reassure her to trust Alison, that she didn't mean for this to happen. That Alison is broken because of what she did.
"Where are you?" Spencer asks gently. She's already forgiven Alison. Hanna tells her that they're at her place, and Spencer ends the call. Giving Toby a soft smile as he asks her once again what is going on, she shrugs her shoulders. She isn't quite sure what is going on herself. It almost seems like a dream, everything going on seems like a dream. She can see herself waking up any minute now. Alison still dead. Alison still alive, back before she ever died. Back before A ever began. She can see it like it's real, she wants it to be real. She wants this nightmare to a dream. She wants to be able to reach out and grab the life that she's lost even if it costs her everything she has ever gained since Alison went away. She'd rather be back in the past, then be living in this mess of a confusing nightmare where she can't even trust her own best friends.
"I don't even know what is going on. It's all so confusing. Alison was going to give me to A but I didn't -" Spencer starts to explain, only to be cut off by Toby stuttering a loud "What?" If he would let her explain, and he would listen, he would know. She starts up again, "like I was saying, but I didn't go to meet A or what I thought was Alison and the girls. Something is up, Toby. I don't know what," She finishes, she wants to add that she's scared. That she's frightened about what's happening. She's confused, and she feels about this small. Like she's a little kid and her parents are fighting again, or Melissa's ignoring her.
"Why would she do that?" Toby wonders aloud, pressing his lips to Spencer's forehead as she sits back down again. Spencer shakes her head, how is she supposed to know? It probably has something to do with you, she wants to shout. Alison's jealous, Alison is always jealous of something. Spencer doesn't really want to think of Alison and her deceit right now.
Instead she presses a frantic kiss to Toby's lips, to which he eagerly responds to. She pulls back, tracing her hands lightly across his face before kissing him once more. This was better than worrying, this was better than meeting her friends. Toby presses his lips to hers against hers once more, it's much better.
Spencer pulls away for just a second to place her phone on the table. She wraps her arms around Toby's neck as she leans back on the couch, he leans forwards, his lips greedily pecking hers as if he'll never be able to kiss her again. She briefly thinks he tastes like peppermint toothpaste before responding to the kiss.
::
an: this was supposed to be a lot longer but i wanted to get it out there, sorry this is such a mess! oh god, it's terrible. the cliffhanger wasn't supposed to lead to anything last chapter haha sorry hopefully you can gather what was going on? i wrote this at midnight last night and finished it today blah