authors note: i'm not exactly sure what this is anymore. i don't know if anyone is even reading it anymore? but i feel like i should at least do something with it. if you're still reading, thank you! and i'm sorry because it's messy and it sucks. it came back on last night so i thought, hey, why not? lol season five is gonna be interesting but really upset about a few things by it. inspired by some of the parts! you can tell which :)
x
Alison is good at one thing in this world: Running. Been doing it for years, you pick a place on a map and you go there. Fake names and fake passports— it was easy. It was familiar.
Emily pleads her not to go, because she's not allowed to do this to them again. Not after everything that's happened, they would die for her and yet she would rather leave them. Isn't it always that way, though?
Surprisingly, they let Alison sneak out in the middle of the night. Few clothes stuffed into a bag, and enough money to hide her for a month. It's different now, before when she would run, nobody knew she was alive. Well, only a select few people. But now? Everybody knew. She gets as far as the train station before she stops.
Before she breaks. Darkness hides her as she cries. Dirty benches and dirty lies— Spencer's name pops up on her screen, and Alison chews her nail. She had handed Spencer over to A. Handed her over to A, the tormenter, the worst of two evils. Quickly, she takes the call, because she'll beg for Spencer's forgiveness if she has to and Alison DiLaurentis doesn't beg.
"I'm sorry!" Alison sobs, but it isn't Spencer on the other end of the line.
"Look, Alison. If you ever try to do that again, I will—" Toby stops. Sucking in a breathe. Alison can picture him shaking his head, her heart speeds up a little. They stay quiet for a minute, their breaths the only things heard on the line.
"You'll do what?" Alison quietly prompts, leaning back against the wall at the train station. Stay calm, running through her head on repeat. It sounds like Spencer is okay, if Toby is already jumping to threaten Alison. Toby chuckles, his eyes drooping, throws a look to a sleeping Spencer— Alison laughs, too. This, laughing with Toby over the phone, this is easier than running away.
"I missed you." Toby admits, it's too quiet and too dark for anyone to be able to hear him. He doubts he can even hear himself. Alison makes out the words, barely but she does. The words I missed you, too are on the tip of her tongue but that could change everything. She longs to kiss him, like she used to do when nobody was watching but Spencer is one of her best friends and Toby would never agree—
What's the point of longing for something you can't have? Alison sighs, nods her head even if Toby can't see her. "I'm at the train station, Toby." Maybe she just wants somebody to know for a fact where she is, maybe she just wants someone to tell her not to leave. Maybe Toby is that person, maybe he (probably) isn't.
"Don't go," Or maybe he is. Alison knows deep down she won't leave. Her life has begun to feel more comfortable, not quite, but it's better than being on the run and not knowing who to trust. She still doesn't know who to trust, but she has friends that don't know who to trust, either.
"I won't." Alison promises, a yawn sleepily escaping through her lips. Toby chuckles, mumbling for her to get some sleep. Alison pushes herself off of the wall, dragging her bags behind her.
"Do you need someone to pick you up?" Toby asks, a second thought before he hangs up. Alison says yes before she's even thought about it, she really has missed him. Waiting for him, the time seems to drag on and on and on. A truck pulls up, a familiar face pops out and Alison smirks as she makes her way towards the truck. Dragging her hands along the outside, an eyebrow raised,
"Couldn't of done better?" Alison teases, opening up the door and throwing her bag to where her feet will soon be. She slides onto the seat, quickly adjusting her seat belt as Toby shakes his head. No quick remark flying out of his mouth.
x
Emily sighs, sliding off of the couch with frown. Alison is no where to be found. Yet, Emily still had hope that she would still be around when she woke up. Flicking on the lights to Spencer's bedroom, she walks inside of it. Startling Hanna and Aria who had chosen to sleep there instead of downstairs with Emily and Alison. Hanna groans, yelling at Emily to fucking leave and Aria throws a pillow in Emily's general direction.
Ignoring them, she clambers up onto the bed and curls up with them. "She's gone," She whispers softly, but she knew that she shouldn't of expected Alison to stay. Not when she's a born runner of her problems. Aria brushes a hand through her hair to comfort her and kisses her cheek lightly.
Hanna lets out another groan, placing a pillow over her head. Aria rolls her eyes before getting up to quickly flick the light switch off. Emily isn't really in the mood for sleeping, though. She wants to talk, about everything under the sun.
"How could she do it?" Emily asks, flipping herself onto her back to stare at the ceiling. Hanna tells her to shut up and go to sleep, but Aria seems kind of interested in what Emily has to say.
"Do what?" Aria asks, she knows what. Run away, be willing to give Spencer into A, to lie, to steal— Emily sighs, dragging her fingers up and down her arm. It's stupid to love Alison. Stupid to fight for her, to put her first, time and time again. Even after she's proven them all wrong to do so. Emily should know better by now, shouldn't she?
"Everything. We put up with her, time and time again, but why? Why do we do it when she continues to break our trust?" Her voice starts to wobble, and she can feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Hanna even sits up, wrapping her arms around Emily's shoulders.
No one says anything, because how can they answer it? They'll do it again. And again. And again. Protecting Alison is like a life job, one that none of them will ever be able to give up.
"I think I hate her," Hanna admits. Aria smiles sadly, because don't they all? Alison wasn't nice when she was alive, and she's not easy to be around now— it doesn't mean they don't love her, but don't they also hate her? Hanna laughs, shaking her head. Everything has revolved around Alison and A for too long, when was the last time they thought about themselves. Their wants and needs and dreams. University doesn't look like it's ever going to happen, relationships have suffered, grades have dropped.
"I don't think I even know what I want anymore," Aria says, reading Hanna's mind. Emily smiles, she knows what she wants. Wants to swim, but then she frowns, that's another thing she's lost because of this.
"Even if we know, haven't we already lost it?" Emily asks. Aria thinks of Ezra, any dreams of writing she ever had have been tainted with his betrayal. She hopes to be able to write again one day, without it stinging. Tried a few times, but all she's been left with is tear stained paper and spilled ink. Hanna's never been clued into what she wants. Wanting a million different things at once. Her mind has never been focused on the future, only that she wants something to do with fashion. Should be prepared to lose that, she guesses.
"Has she ever done us any good?" Aria asks, suddenly vibrantly angry. Mona may be the leader of the I hate Ali club, but they founded it first.
"She brought us together," Emily smiles. That's one thing they'll always be thankful for. Could they even imagine a life without each other? No. But they couldn't imagine a life without A.
"I love you," Hanna whispers, grinning. Eyes drooping, almost falling shut. "But I am tired." Aria and Emily laugh, quietly telling her to go to sleep as they drift off back to sleep themselves.
x
Spencer wakes up alone. In an empty bed that isn't here own, and a coldness running through her body. She brings the blankets up higher, and tries to snuggle in but she can't. Sighing, she gets up. Flicking on a light switch and exploring the apartment for Toby, not that there's much to explore.
(not that he's in sight).
It doesn't take long for Spencer to leave.
x
They end up somewhere secluded, and Alison isn't really sure how but talking to Toby is easy. And, she needs someone to talk to. Toby leans back in the seat, listening intently to Alison and offering her advice.
Alison does the same for him, and somewhere along the way the conversation turns lighter. Reminiscing on brighter times. When they were younger, and things were easier. When Alison wasn't dead, and there wasn't a mysterious force trying to hurt them, or a twin sister. Or anything, really. There was just the two of them.
"Remember when we used to call ourselves Gerda and Kay?" Alison laughs, throwing her head back. Those were the times, everything was easier back then, things used to be simple. Toby watches Alison, entranced by her like he used to be when they were younger. Blonde curls falling over the seat, and piercing blue eyes that looked like they could see through your soul. Voice full of secrets.
"Sorry that I never traveled to find you," Toby apologises, sincerely. Alison shrugs her shoulders, trying her best to put things in the past. People change, and people grow. She was trying to prove that she was one of them. Maybe then somebody would travel to save her, but her friends already have. Alison never would of tried to help the person she once was, though. So how could she blame anybody else?
Alison likes to think she sees things coming but the kiss that followed was something that she didn't see coming. She doesn't see the next four coming either.
x
Spencer drives back home in the rain, frantically texting Toby. Where did he go? She frowns when she spots his truck outside the DiLaurentis house. Alison grinning as she slides out of the truck. Walking away, only to walk back when Toby calls her name. Spencer watches him pass her a jacket. Spencer watches him as he brushes his finger down her cheek, as he leans in slowly. But Alison pulls away.
Spencer watches Alison run back inside, trying to dodge the rain. Watching as Toby pulls away. The brunette clambers out of her own car, slamming the door shut before rushing inside.