i've been wanting alison/toby in this for a while but haven't known the correct way to go about it! it's not precise exactly what happened, though. if you don't want to read this if it's not 100% spencer/toby, i totally understand! toby/spencer and spencer/alison is endgame, though. also happy one year anniversary of this horrible mess i've made of this fic!
x
Alison avoids Spencer like the plague; but Spencer catches her one night. Outside the front of her own house, an umbrella in her hand as the rain pours down.
"Did you sleep with him?" Spencer's voice breaks. It only takes a minute for Alison to realise Spencer must of saw what had happened the other night, the goodnight kiss—
Laughing wasn't exactly her plan, but the chuckles tumble out as she shakes her head repeatedly: no, no, no. Oh god, no! Maybe once she would of liked that, maybe even before last night but, not anymore.
"Spence, no. I promise." It's weird, because Alison has even realised that she's not Alison anymore. Manipulative Alison is gone, so is Scared Alison and all that's left now is ... Normal Alison. Normal teenage girl Alison. She can laugh and joke with her friends, even with a mysterious figure trying to hurt them.
"I—" Alison cuts her best friend off before she even has the chance to tell her what she saw. Alison knows what she saw.
"Yeah, he kissed me. Yeah, I kissed him. It was an accident and one we regretted. It was like," Alison pauses, trying to figure out the right words but with a sigh, she realises that none will ever come for her. "It's revisiting an old fling and seeing if something is still there, only to figure out he's more like your brother than your potential boyfriend." Alison wouldn't object to Toby being her boyfriend, ever but that's how it is at the moment.
Spencer lets out a huff, still unhappy with the news. Toby still cheated, still kissed another girl and not just any other girl— Alison fucking DiLaurentis, one of her best friends.
"Talk to him," Alison softly encourages, before disappearing up her porch and inside of her house. Spencer contemplates the idea: Toby should of already of told her, apologised and begged for forgiveness if he truly cared about her. Toby should of never kissed Alison in the first place, but maybe Spencer is sick of holding grudges. Maybe she's sick of Toby all together.
Aria's dealing with family trouble (again). Hanna is out for the weekend. Emily is with Paige (again). Alison is— Alison kissed her boyfriend.
She has no one else to vent to, share her troubles with. No other friends except the ones that share the same text messages, those girls are the only ones she can cry too and they're all off being busy. It looks like calling Toby might be the only option, she'll have to do it sometime. Whether it's to talk or to break it off.
Running a hand through her hair, she jogs back towards her house. The umbrella still held firmly above her head. Toby is a fucking idiot, she'll give him that but he's an idiot that she loves— so she's going to find out what really happened, even if it kills her.
—x—
theotherday
Toby leans forward ever so slightly, his lips grazing across Alison's. It feels odd. It used to feel wonderful, back when they were younger and sneaking around, the thrill had set their hearts on fire. Alison responds, but it's awkward and messy and Toby pulls away at once.
Spencer. He had forgotten about his girlfriend, he looks at the ground. He wants to kiss Alison, again. To see if he feels anything before he knows for sure that there's nothing there anymore, no long forgotten sparks to arise.
He doesn't want to cheat, but he's already kissed her once— his thoughts dwindle off as her lips silently smash against his. It's just as awkward as the first time, just as horrible and messy but he kisses her a third time. Just once more, a fourth—
"There really isn't anything there anymore," Toby breathes in relief, a light laugh falling from his lips. Alison sighs in contentment, surprisingly happy about the news herself. She wouldn't of even thought that possible.
"You shouldn't of kissed me, though." Alison states harshly, because he shouldn't of. She hadn't asked to be kissed, or made any impression of ever wanting to be kissed, he certainly didn't ask her and last time Alison checked, he had a girlfriend. "Just because I responded, doesn't mean it should of happened in the first place." Alison isn't going to let him get away with this, she's already been feeling weak and nice enough these past few weeks. She'll put up a fight if she has to, but Toby caves straight away.
"I know," He breathes, starting up the engine. "Sorry, it was wrong." He doesn't need to count the number of ways on his hand as to how so. Alison sits in silence, fingers tracing over her lips. Technically, she's gotten what she's always wanted— Toby. Could rub this in Spencer's face, take him back, just like Spencer had taken him. But maybe it took her a long time to register that Toby is a person, not an object or a toy you steal.
Maybe she's grown up, because she doesn't feel like she wants that anymore.
"Why did you do it?" Alison asks absentmindedly, more interested in the views flickering past outside than what Toby has to say. One minute she's getting ready to hand her best friend over to A, the next her boyfriend is yelling at her on the phone, and then the next he has his lips pressed against hers (but no tongues down her throat).
"I don't know," Toby replies helplessly, shrugging his shoulders as he pulls up in front of Alison's house. She doesn't get out right away, rather enjoying the silence between the two of them. In a sense, it was comforting.
"I should go," Alison drawled, sliding out of the car and shutting it behind her. Eyes catching sight of Spencer's car parked in the driveway. Her heart plummeted into the depths of her chest. Honestly, she felt terrible. About everything.
"Alison!" She hears Toby call her name, she spins back around. A smile breaking out across her face as she sees her jacket in his hands. She walks back up towards him, stealing it out of his hands as he presses his lips to her cheek— only to miss and get her lips. He pulls away straight away,
"I'm sorry," He mumbles. Alison nervously laughs, shaking her head like it's no big deal.
"Don't worry about it," Her departing words before she ventures inside. Rain pounding down onto her. Toby watched her, cursing under his breath as he pulled away. He was fucking stupid, wasn't he? Out of the corner of his eye he spots Spencer's car out of the front of her house, a furious brunette slamming the door shut— he really was a fool.
x
Spencer ends up waiting for Toby for an hour, and in that time she still has no idea how she'll confront him. Blank slots fill her mind rather than a creative vision to demand the truth. In the end, he comes back and says sorry before she has the time to even ask what the hell happened between him and Alison. She wants to be able to forgive him, to push anything aside that he's done but looking at him now, she's unsure if she can do that.
"Sorry," Toby rushes out, bending down to hug her. Spencer wraps her own arms around him, a comforting feeling even though the hug stings of betrayal. He keeps mumbling the words into her shoulder, Spencer twists her lips, while lightly pushing him away.
"You kissed Alison." Spencer states, standing up. Nervously, she states pacing up and down the room. It's only just hitting her, now. She had managed to stay calm these past few days, only small suspicions but now it's real. It should hurt more than this, but Spencer just feels empty. She's dealt with different kinds of betrayal from Toby before, but she's not sure how she should deal with this.
Should she be mad? Forgiving? Upset? Because she's feeling all three. The idea of losing Toby again makes her heart aches, but so does the thought of him wanting to kiss Alison. Wanting to kiss her so much he acted on it. Spencer used to be oblivious to the history they shared, now that she knows? It makes it even worst. She feels like she might vomit.
Toby has lost all will to talk, words failing him. Watching Spencer pace back and forth, he's not sure what he could say to salvage this situation.
Spencer rushes off towards his bathroom, kneeling before the toilet as she empties her lunch.
"Are you okay?" Toby asks, rubbing Spencer's back. With a groan, she pushes him away from her as she collects her things.
"No! I'm not okay!" It's breaking point, she snaps. "You kissed Alison," Her voice wavers, breaking a little as the tears start to collect in her eyes. Toby wants to give her another hug, but he can tell that Spencer has already built up an ice wall that he isn't willing to knock down.
"I know—"
"Why?" Spencer asks suddenly, becoming more alert. Toby fumbles for words, unable to express what he feels. It's complicated would be too cliché but it would be the truth.
"Its—" Spencer gives him a warning look, don't you dare say complicated, she hisses underneath her breathe. "It is complicated, Spencer. It meant nothing, but I had to—" His words die out. Spencer shakes her head, pushing past him.
"She was ready to give me over to A, my best friend, and you were wanting to make out with her that very same night. I've talked to her about the A ordeal but—" Shaking her head, she doesn't finish that sentence. Slamming the door behind her, the room vibrates as she storms downstairs into the coffee shop.
x
Alison flips through a photo album back in the safety of her bedroom. Pictures of a younger, happier Alison smiling back at her. She may of been a younger, happier Alison but she was also a colder, more manipulative Alison. She misses that; the power that comes with being able to control everyone.
Being normal and nice is fun until it starts to get boring. Girls like Alison are meant to wreck havoc, not mature. That's why she didn't stop Toby, why she kissed him back, it was dangerous in a way that wouldn't get her killed. Dangerous in a way that gave her the kind of thrill she had fought for all her life.
Her fingers got caught on a piece of paper sticking out of the book, a phone number scribbled onto it. Phoenix, her heart skips a beat. She had forgotten about Phoenix, but he brings a smile to her lips as she dials the number into a phone.
It goes to voicemail, before she can leave a message, Toby is standing at her door.
(And maybe she lied about not feeling anything).
(Maybe she still fucking loves him, maybe that kiss meant more to her than she'll ever admit even to herself).
x
It happened like this: Melissa smashed Alison over the head with a rock, Courtney rescued her, and Phoenix ended up helping her.
It ended like this: Alison flipping through a photo album, a heartbroken Spencer, and a confused Toby standing at her door.
—x—
monthsago
"You'll be alright?" Phoenix asks, a goofy smile plastered onto his face. Alison rolls her eyes, nodding her head. She'll be okay, she has to be—
"I'll be fine." She likes who she's become, confident in a way that she doesn't need to hurt other people. Happy in her skin, nicer to people around her. It'll change once she heads back to Rosewood, once she's accepted back into her old group. She'll need to strive and fight for everyone, again. Make her way to the top, but for now she's fine. For now she likes who she is.
Phoenix looks like he's about to cry as he pulls her in for a hug,
"I fucking love you, Al." — and all she can see and hear is her Toby, calling her Al and loving her like there would be no tomorrow.
x
It goes like this: Courtney was her doctor, her twin sister, a liar, and a thief.
It went like this: Courtney was her everything, she was scared of her and loved her.
—x—
monthsago
Courtney DiLaurentis looked older, easily passing for somebody who could be a doctor. She worked in Radley, was a patient there, lived there, breathed there— it was her home until she found Alison on the run, a rock in her skull and a Melissa Hastings wanting to kill her only sister.
("You're my home now," Courtney gushed, brushing a sleeping Alison's hair).
Turns out Alison was never very fond of Courtney, so she blasted a bullet through her head after she said her goodbyes to Phoenix and returned to Rosewood, determined to get everything she ever lost back.
x
It ends like this: Spencer and Toby end up back together, Alison is (still, always) jealous for a while, the girls all grow closer and love each other and Alison finally tells them all what happened.
But it really ends like this: Broken and crumbled and happy. Alison being let off the murder of her sister with the pleads of self-defence; ("She was mentally unstable, I was scared").
x
it's been a year since i posted this! the 15th of June 2013 last year :) while this may look somewhat like the end, i don't think it will be. no promises! i kind of wrapped it up a bit because i don't know if i'll get the chance to do it. god, i can't believe it's been a year. a year of me hardly updating, throwing away bad copies, hating everything i write and not planning anything out. thank you to those who have stuck around, and please tell me if you want me to leave it here or give more closure.