Abby and Lizzie's Mighty Magical Mystical Marvelous Alliteration of a Lost Epic Quest

Chapter 8

I Would Like a Small Taste of Melon

"I had the best sleep last night," Lizzie stated as she pulled out a carton of dishwasher detergent and poured it underneath the waterfall.

"Probably because Claire finally stopped screaming, God that girl is like a banshee. It's a good thing we sleep on the beach, because if we heard her from there, she probably would've popped our eardrums," Abby informed.

"She's worse than a Metallica concert," Lizzie agreed with a nod, "Where is she now?"

"Oh, she got kidnapped by the others," her friend answered as she began to wipe the scuffs off her shoes, "Charlie got hung yesterday, but he wouldn't tell me anything about it, it's like he's sensitive or something."

"Huh, I guess that Ethan guy was right when he told us he was gonna hang Charlie, I just figured he was eccentric like us," Lizzie pulled out a little battleship from her purse and put it into the soapy water.

"Really I thought he was gay," Abby divulged, "I mean I put the moves on him and he shot me right down. Always talking about Charlie this and Charlie that."

"He had an unhealthy obsession, kinda like Locke and his heroin," Lizzie compared.

"He wasn't on the plane," Hurley stated as he flipped through the manifest, "Ethan wasn't on the plane."

"Well I don't blame him, there's hardly anything left of it since you guys decided to light that mother up and have a human bonfire," Abby spat angrily.

"No, he didn't come in on the plane with us," Jack enlightened, "He was already here."

"Well duh, I mean the guy has permanent dirt stains on him," Lizzie gathered some bubbles on her hand, "Plus he's kinda gay."

"Alright," Jack looked thoroughly confused.

"He was way to friendly," Abby added, "but he never followed through with anything. He said he would help me open this suitcase I stole from Sawyer, and then he didn't."

Jack's eyes widened as his eyes fell to the Halliburton that sat snuggly between both girls, "We've been looking for that everywhere, how did you get it?"

Abby and Lizzie's face turned pale, "We don't want to talk about it," Abby stated simply.

"It doesn't matter, but Kate and I need…"

"Every time we see Sawyer he has no clothes on," Lizzie sobbed aloud, and then clung to her friend for support.

"She's been having night terrors about it," Abby divulged as she patted her friends back.

"Why couldn't it have been Boone," Lizzie cried, "Why couldn't it have been Boone? Why couldn't Boone be naked and wet?"

"Girls," Sayid called as he approached the group hobbling, "Girls I've been looking for you everywhere, I need to ask a favor."

"You can't have our cable," Lizzie collected herself; "We've become attached to it."

"Yes, we're thinking of a name for it, something seasoned, like Jachimo."

"No, that isn't what I wanted," Sayid explained, "I took some notes from the French woman."

"You mean you stole the notes," Abby corrected.

"The crazy French women?" Lizzie asked.

Sayid took a deep breath in and forced a smile, "I was wondering if you would help me translate, I've asked Shannon and she's going to help too, but I'd like to be as accurate with them as possible."

Abby grimaced, "I know what this is, these aren't notes at all, they're a witch hunt!"

"It's like we're at Little Rock!" Lizzie huffed with as much offense as her companion. "And if you want a witch, Shannon is you girl, I mean she wears so much make-up, you'd think it was Halloween everyday."

"You think that because we're from Ontario like Ethan, that we're crazy island natives who want to stint all of your collective survivals," Abby continued.

"Well we're not," Lizzie answered, "Just because we took all the food, and try everyday to contaminate the fresh water supply, and because we don't listen to you when you tell us where the bathrooms should be, and because we won't give back Locke's hunting knives, and because Ethan was a close, personal friend of ours doesn't mean we're trying to kill everyone."

"That was not my intention at all," Sayid explained candidly, "I know that you two have the strongest background in speaking French, and I knew you would be the best chance of properly translating the notes."

"Oh so you think that just because we're Canadian we automatically parlons Français, tu est un grand idiot," Abby shouted with anger.

"Je veux un petit gout de melon," Lizzie yelled as both girls stomped off into the jungle furiously.

"Blue eternity?" Shannon questioned with puzzlement, "No, wait, blue infinity."

"I'm so glad you got that," Abby muttered as her face began to slide down her arm and to the makeshift table the group had made. "Because eternity in French is éternité and you got it mixed up with infini."

"I told you my French sucked," Shannon spat.

"Girls, please, if we can work together this could be done so much faster," Sayid mumbled.

"It's been like five hours," Shannon complained as she pulled her sweater tighter around her arms, "We're not getting anywhere."

"You're not getting anywhere," Abby corrected, "I finished like four hours ago."

Shannon and Sayid both glanced up, "You mean you've finished the translations?" Sayid questioned.

"Yeah, I knew most of the words, and for the ones I didn't know, I used the French-English dictionary I had in my backpack," she held up the ratty book.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Shannon asked heatedly.

Abby shrugged, "I thought it was a test. Which weird considering these are just lyrics from a song. Your crazy French lady is really crazy."

"Did anyone see you take it?" Locke questioned as he held the axe in his hand.

"I don't think so," Boone answered.

"Boone?" Lizzie questioned as she stumbled out of the bushes, "Why did you take the axe? Are you going to chop some firewood? With your shirt off? Completely naked? Ahh, Sawyer flashback!"

"No one saw you, huh?" Locke chuckled.

"I thought no one did," Boone rubbed the back of his head, "I had no clue she was following me."

"No one ever does, I'm a stalker extraordinaire," Lizzie pointed at herself with her thumbs.

"She's fine," Locke nodded, "We can trust her."

"Really?" Boone face scrunched in bafflement.

"I've seen her around, she has skills we can use," Locke informed, "We're going to need here when it comes time."

"If you guys are talking about borrowing Jachimo, you can forget it. That mother is ours."