YAYYY! I am having sooo much fun writing this story. Oh Angst. Oh Romance. Ohhhhhh…..right I'm done. Enjoy part 2! I may revise this later but I wanted to know what you thought first! Let me know how I am doing!
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The morning came and the king of Gondor was crowned. Another morning came, and Legolas left the kingdom to return home to Mirkwood to prepare for his journey across the sea. Estel had kept to his word and had not seen the elf off, much to the dismay of his family and friends.
Finally, the morning of the wedding came, and it had been beautiful. The new king and queen of Gondor were joined together in the early afternoon sun, with promises of a grand future ahead of them. The queen had looked absolutely stunning in her pure white wedding gown, and the king had looked handsome in his white clothing as well. The couple shared loving smiles and caresses throughout the ceremony which had been kept short and sweet.
The ceremony had been followed by a wonderful reception that had truly been a festive affair, and the guests had celebrated into the early hours of the morning. Though outwardly the couple seemed completely enamored and into each other, the pair knew otherwise. For both the king and queen were thinking about the events of the night before, and what was to come tonight.
And so now, Estel stood at the entrance of the master bedroom where his wife was waiting for him, thinking about the festive day and what lay before him. He knew that he must consummate the relationship, for such was the tradition the night of a wedding. Yet, Estel could not bring himself to lift his hand and open the door. His mind and his heart were warring with each other; Duty and what he termed to be selfishness. His mind was telling him to go in, continue lying to his wife and forget about his affair with Legolas as a duty to his people. The seemingly selfish side of him cried out for Estel to both be honest with Arwen and himself. It was telling him to do whatever it took to be with Legolas who ignited a powerful burning within his soul.
Contemplating between his duty and his broken heart, Estel stood outside the door for many minutes, his forehead resting on the frame. He knew he could not stay out here forever, but at the moment, that sounded like a good option to him. Finally the king released a great sigh of distress and straightened himself. He was being a coward and he knew it. Steeling himself and pasting a fake smile of excitement on his face, he pushed open the door to his new bedroom.
Estel walked into the room and glanced immediately towards the bed where his wife would be waiting. . .only to find it empty. Frowning in confusion Estel started towards the bed only to be stopped seconds later by his wife's voice. "Estel, darling. . .we must talk," Arwen informed her husband as he whirled around to see her. Arwen was wearing her maiden gown as was tradition on wedding nights, but instead of being in bed, she sat near the hearth in a large, comfortable chair, looking nervous and completely serious.
Estel looked curiously at the she elf as he crossed the room to where Arwen was seated. "Talk? What about my love?" Estel asked in surprise, "and I am sure it can wait tomorrow after the. . . 'celebration' is over." Estel smiled at her again and Arwen was sad to notice it never reached his eyes.
"Nay beloved," Arwen answered evenly, "it cannot wait."
Estel frowned again before taking a seat across from his wife. "Alright. If you want to talk, we may talk for as long as you like," Estel murmured secretly glad he had a momentary reprieve from thinking about the night ahead. Estel leaned forward and looked intently at Arwen. "Well Arwen. What is it you wish to talk about dearest?"
Arwen was silent for a moment just staring at her husband before she took a deep breath, steeled herself for the coming argument, and began. "Something bothers you husband. And I would like to know what it is," Arwen began. She had decided this night that she would give him an opportunity to come out with it on his own. He failed.
"Nay Arwen! What could I possibly have to be upset about?" Estel laughed, "We are finally joined and Sauron has fallen! What could be wrong in a time like this?"
"I know not Estel, that is why I asked," Arwen replied, "but I know something does bother you. . .your smile no longer touches the depths of your eyes. You look as if you lost your entire world. . .do not deny it."
Estel sighed inwardly and cursed Arwen's perceptiveness. "Alright Arwen you win. I am troubled."
Arwen rejoiced momentarily as she thought Estel would come clean with her about the entire affair with Legolas. "Won't you tell me about it Estel?" she asked quietly.
Estel smiled reassuringly. "I am. . .just overwhelmed and disheartened. That is all."
"Overwhelmed? Disheartened? With what?" Arwen pressed.
"I am. . .unsure of my new duties; of my qualifications as a leader. . .surely Faramir would be better than I at this job. And this new life seems as if it will be stifling. I am not used to such luxury and responsibility. I am afraid that my new duties will not be as rewarding as my old. I fear what this new life will mean to me," Estel grew agitated and stood quickly, pacing around the room.
"You are afraid you will be bored?" Arwen jested lightly. Estel turned to her and smiled genuinely.
"Something like that," he laughed back.
"You are afraid that your life will lose it's adventure?" Arwen continued.
"Yes!"
"You are afraid that your life will become too. . .'safe' perhaps?" Arwen inquired slyly. Estel bristled noticeably before he hid it and maintained eye contact with Arwen.
"I. . .yes," he replied awkwardly looking at his feet.
"You would then desire a more 'unpredictable lifestyle'?" Arwen continued to goad.
'Strange,' Estel thought to himself becoming more and more uncomfortable, 'that's the second time she's repeated something I said myself.' Shaking these thoughts, "Yes. . .," Estel finally replied.
"You will miss all of your old lifestyle. . .the freedom, the friends. . ." here Arwen paused boring her eyes into Estel's. "the love?"
Estel stared hard at his wife for many moments before he smiled at her. "I still have the same love," came the expected response. Arwen smiled sadly at her husband and shook her head.
"I was not speaking of our love husband. . .but of one more passionate. . .one before me?" though Arwen posed this as a question, Estel had the sinking feeling she knew what she spoke of to be true.
"There were none before you," Estel choked out. He hated to lie to Arwen but he didn't see the point in telling the truth about something that would never be again.
Arwen smiled again. "No? No other elves? None that you may have spent many a passion filled night with whilst out doing your duties as a ranger?" Arwen inquired innocently.
Estel's face paled with realization, yet still could not bring himself to acknowledge it. "I know not what you speak of," Estel ground out turning his head from his wife is shame.
"No?" Arwen pressed.
"No," Estel declared firmly.
Arwen pursed her lips and sighed. "Estel," she breathed sounding mildly annoyed, "I have known you your entire life." At this statement, the king turned to look into the bright eyes of his wife. "and in this time, " she continued, "I watched you grow into an amazing man; the one I lost my heart to. . . I know you care for me, but I do not think you gave your heart to me in return."
Estel's eyes flashed in panic before he forced a shocked glare into them. "Say not such things my wife! You have my heart! Of course you do! I lost it to you long ago."
"Estel," Arwen sighed again, "You know everything I have said just now is true. I do not have your heart, as there was one before me who stole it from you. You two were an awesome pair, and no one knew about your relationship except for those directly involved. . .you two; for even I was too blind to see."
"Nay Arwen! You ar-" Estel began to argue again.
"HUSH!" Arwen snapped silencing her husband. "I am speaking of passion evolved from the purest, deepest platonic love I have ever known to occur between two beings."
"Nay," Estel denied weakly around a sob.
"Estel, I know. . ."
"There is nothing t-"
". . .about you and Legolas."
Estel released his first sob after attempting to deny the accusation once again. The king found for the first time in his life that he could not look his Arwen in the eyes. His mouth opened and closed making him appear just as a fish would out of water. Finally he released a shaky breath. "How?" he whispered.
Arwen smiled softly. "In the gardens the night before your coronation. You knew it not then, but I had arrived early and was aching with the need to see you. A guard dutifully informed me that you had left the palace in the direction of the gardens. I took off to find you. Finally I nheard your sweet booming voice ahead of me. When I got closer I realized that you were agitated, argumentative evern. I was curious to see what was wrong and so I started forward, keeping to the shadows so as not to alert you to my presence. I stopped when I heard the amused voice of your Legolas arguing back with you. I did not mean to spy beloved please believe me! But I could not turn away. . .especially when I heard my name. I heard the entire argument EStel. All of it. Your fears, your concerns, you reluctance to leave Legolas who so clearly you had lost your heart to and he to you. Watching him walk away and hearing his sob mixing with yours for him, my heart broke and I knew you would never love me like you did him. . .and no time would ever change that. I returned to my chamber then and cried for many hours. I thought I would begin to be angry with you, and resent Legolas. . .but I did not. Instead I knew I had to help you fix this rift between you. You love each other Estel, and this I know to be true."
Estel winced and looked regretfully at his wife as he buried his strained and tortured face in his hands. "Arwen, I am sorry, so sorry! All you say is true!" Arwen smiled piteously and pulled his hands away from his regal face gently, taking them into her own hands. "I-I tried to make myself love you to the same degree as you love me. Legolas and me even discussed it upon learning of my lineage. The plan was for he and I to be a youthful tryst, a learning experience. . . and then you and I later were to fall in real love and marry and . . ." Estel stopped to gather himself before continuing, "I. . .I never wanted. . ."
"To lose your heart to him?" Arwen finished knowingly, stroking the hand gently in comfort.
"YES! The love we had was supposed to fade, burn out, be gone with time!" Estel exclaimed in agitation.
"But it didn't. it only grew," Arwen supplied quietly, letting the man rant.
"EXACTLY!" Estel exclaimed looking to his wife regretfully.
"And now?" Arwen asked.
"Now. . .I gave my heart to you Arwen and you and your sacrifice for me are all that I need," Estel finished lamely.
"You gave your heart to me then?" Arwen asked incredulously.
"Yes! A thousand times over!"
Arwen pursed her lips, momentarily looking eerily like her father. "And how, pray tell, can you possibly give me something that you have already given someone else? Hmmm?"
Estel sighed once again. "I cannot," he replied regretfully."
"Ah. The truth comes out!" Arwen commented lightly. She studied her husband's mournful gaze quietly for a moment before she asked what she really had wanted all along. "Do you still love him meleth nin?" Arwen asked quietly.
"I-" Estel began. Arwen cut off his lie quickly with a look. "I. . ." Estel began again. "Yes. Arwen, I do. With all that I am." Estel then allowed more tears to fall, and his face fall back into his hands. Arwen left him alone for a few minutes before she pulled his hands away again looking him deep in the eye.
"You love him?"
"More than anything."
"Then tell me, meleth. . .why are you still sitting here?"
Estel's gaze shot to meet Arwens. "Huh?" Estel returned stupidly. Arwen smiled compassionately.
"You still love him, and yet you do nothing about it. You sit here when he will be departing mere days from now. Why are you not doing anything to stop it?" Arwen questioned with a small smile.
"I-I cannot ask him to stay because of my feelings. He would surely fade if he did, for he cannot do without me. . .I was being selfish when I asked him to remain before. And I cannot have him so near without being with him myself. It is folly for him to remain," Estel explained.
"Who said anything about you two being apart?" Arwen inquired.
"I cannot offer him that which he seeks!" Estel responded incredulously, "I am bound to you!"
"You make it sound so terrible," Arwen joked. At Estel's continued look of confusion, Arwen squeezed his hand and shook her head in amusement. "If I were to tell you to ask him to remain, and yet still deny that which sustains him. . .then why would I suggest that he remain at all?"
"Arwen?" Estel asked still not getting it.
"Go retrieve him Estel. Your love is pure. The purest I have seen in my many lifetimes. You cannot let that slip away."
"But what of you? Of us Arwen?"
"I will love no other as I do you Estel. And I know just by looking in your eyes right now you do love me too. . .just not with the same fervor as you do Legolas. You know I may not sail anymore, so I must remain here. I would be honored Elessar if you would allow me to be a companion and the mother of your children," Arwen explained tenderly and smiled as she continued, "and of course share that same joy with Legolas who is as dear to me as my own brothers."
Estel found he could not speak for the lump in his throat would not permit it. He was so touched by Arwen's willing sacrifice that he could not form words, only tears. Seeing the tears Arwen leaned forward and cupped his chin. "uum lav niire iire aa'ron aniduva. Autlle a' ho."
At these words, Estel's eyes shone with genuine love for his wife. Estel rose quickly once he gathered his thoughts, and kissed his wife's forehead quickly, but tenderly. "You offer me a great gift Arwen. And I do love you." Estel then moved to the wardrobe and began pulling things into his old pack. "I shall leave at once of course! It has already been thirteen days! And it takes another week and a half to make it to Mirkwood in good condition. . .he had told me he would leave in two fortnights, so that only gives me-" here Estel tensed and stopped his speech abruptly and turned to his wife who was smiling back. His shoulders slumped and he looked at the floor.
"Estel?" Arwen asked in confusion crossing to Estel. "what is wrong?"
"I. . .Legolas. . .the things I said. . .they were very cruel and uncalled for."
"Yes, yes they were. . .callous. . .but they were out of sadness, not anger. LEgolas will understand and he will forgive you," Arwen soothed gently cupping the check of Estel.
Estel managed a weak grin before kissing Arwen's palm and releasing a tense breath. "I am lucky to have such a wonderful wife."
"Yes, yes you are. Now you must be off darling. It will be light soon!" Arwen declared turning her head towards the window for emphasis.
Estel smiled sweetly at his wife. "Soon, yes. But I dare not ride in the dark towards Mirkwood anyways. . .I am all packed dearest, but there is one thing I must do first." Estel murmured.
"What is that?" Arwen inquired shrieking as Estel lifted the beautiful elf maiden into his arms.
"We hav ea marriage to consummate." Estel breathed kissing his wife softly on her gaping mouth.
"Estel. . .you. . .we do not have to do this right now," Arwen declared blushing slightly.
"Now, now dear wife. You have made many sacrifices this night. And besides. . ." he whispered huskily, "I want to." Estel then lay her on their marriage bed and blew out the candle on the bedside table.
The couple's eyes met and he tucked a piece of raven hair behind her own ear. "I love you Arwen, and I will never tire of your companionship even with Legolas here. You know that right?" Estel asked her in all seriousness.
Arwen blushed and nodded. "And I love you also. I just want you to be happy."
Estel smiled again as his lips once again descended to Arwen's and they met in a passion filled kiss that led to an equally passion filled few hours that ended with the break of the morning light.
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Yay! Okay so review! Let me know what you thought. Isn't Arwen adorable? So sweet thinking of those two like that. What a woman…er….she elf:)
TRANSLATIONS:
"uum lav niire, iire aa'ron aniduva. Autlle a' ho"- Do not allow tears when they may be avoided. Go to Him.
Meleth nin- My love
Meleth- Love (n)