Second Chapter: From the Beast's Side
It was just an ordinary sunday morning. Nothing much. Nothing was expected or planned for that particular day. He would probably just sleep until lunch time and perhaps watch some movies on tv, eating his favorite dessert. Maybe call Kasuka to make sure he was doing fine and maybe go out for his usual walks and smokes. Hopefully the flea wouldn't be around. Hopefully.
A beep could be heard coming from his drawer. Who could it be? Kasuka? Tom? Perhaps the little kid, Akane... But did she have his number? No... It couldn't be. Maybe Vorona? Not likely. A thought ran through his mind, which made his eyes open widely as he quickly grabbed the phone and flipped it open. Glancing to the screen, he opened the message to read it's content. For his own astonishment, it wasn't none of them. Instead it was from a number he didn't know. Someone sending him a message about how they admired him from afar and wanted to know a little more about him. Obviously the fortissimo didn't reply at first. He ignored it. Even though he wanted to believe someone out there could be able to love him. It was nearly impossible to happen. People saw him like someone abnormal. A monster. No one would ever love a monster. That wasn't right. The thought it could be just a prank also ran through his mind, making the blond just more convinced to not reply the mail. However, as the hours passed, he started to receive more messages. Each our one different with cheering messages about hope and something about inner value or something like that. He didn't read all of them, most of them he just ignored.
After a while, the messages stopped coming. Silence. Finally. But... Something didn't feel right. Those beeps. They stopped. Did the person just give up? Why was he caring about it anyway? The blond took his phone once more and roamed through the messages on it. They were sweet. Some had pictures of puppies and flowers. It brought a soft smile to his face. Few people knew, but Shizuo was really fond of cute things. Not to mention sweets. It was somehow comforting considering the life he took and all the stress he had to deal with. Those small things relaxed him a bit. He loved it.
Before he could tell, Shizuo was already looking to the phone again. No more messages during the day. It was somehow annoying. Did she really give up? Perhaps he offended her by not replying. Something inside him missed it. Those messages. No... Not only that. Affection. It was what he craved the most and those messages just reminded him of that. Quickly and without a second thought, Shizuo started to writte a message to his secret admirer:
Are you okay? I'm not good with this kind of things... So... I'm sorry about not replying to your messages. I'd like to talk more with you.
Hope I didn't offend you,
Shizuo.
Those few words took him way more effort than he expected to spend on a message, but he was glad he did it. As soon as the message was sent, another message arrived and a warm feeling rose on his chest. She was willing to keep sending messages to him. At the end of the message, there was a picture of a cute japanese girl. She looked a little like the milk lady, surprisingly. A blush rose on his cheeks seeing the picture of her. Deep maroon eyes, a long and straight black hair. Porcelain white skin and glasses. How it come a girl that looked so normal, so cute, so fragile would get to admire a person like him? A brute, awkward, angry, dangerous man. It was confusing, but sometimes life didn't make sense, right?
As the days passed by, they kept contact and Shizuo would eventually open up with the girl on the other side of the screen. They never tried to meet in person, neither commented about it. He knew he should be the one to take the first step, given he was a man and she made the first move by contacting him. But the blond couldn't just find words to invite her out and neither a good time. He was always angry or too tired to think straight. Also, he had been pretty busy with work lately. However, despise of that, he was frightened. No one would ever imagine that, but Shizuo Heiwajima, the beast of Ikebukuro was a coward. At least he considered himself as such. A man that could lift vending machines, street signs, trucks, cause destruction wherever he went, was afraid to call a girl out. Why? One would ask. Exactly because he was who he was. She probably just approached him by phone because of his intimidating aura, his monstrous strength probably scared her as well. He was afraid she could say no and stop talking to him. Perhaps someday he'd call her out. Someday...
The days turned into weeks and weeks into a month. A slight change on the ex bartender's attitude could be noticed whenever his phone beeped. Kasuka knew his brother better than anyone in this world and he knew there was something happening. Nothing bad it seemed, but he was indeed curious about what could it be. Perhaps Shizuo got a girlfriend? No... He would tell at least his brother, right? "Brother, Is everything ok?" Hazel apathetical eyes looked to the blond as the owner of the orbs tipped his head slightly to the side, making a few strands of his brunet hair hang freely from behind his ear. "You're acting different lately, especially when your phone rings. Is there something happening?"
Another soft smile graced the bodyguard's lips. He was indeed in a good mood. Though he would try to act more calm and sweet towards Kasuka, the actor knew when Shizuo was forcing it up or making it spontaneously. The older Heiwajima was probably not even noticing how much he'd be smiling lately, but the ones around him did. Tom himself noticed it, but h attributed to the younger brother sending messages. He didn't think for a moment it could be someone else. It was before the valentine's day. But until then he didn't have any suspects in special. "Actually..." Shizuo started slowly, moving his gaze from his phone as he put it on its proper place inside his pocket. "I started to get some messages from a secret admirer. Not a big deal." That wasn't true. It was a big deal. At least for him. But not in a million years Shizuo would say it out loud. It was too embarrassing.
"Oh? A secret admirer?" Kasuka blinked a few times. He was surprised with the news. Was it really someone with good intentions? After the experience in high school, when Shizuo went to hospital because of a poisoned chocolate given by another 'secret admirer', he should be a little more cautious. "Are you sure it isn't another prank?" The brunet asked in his usual emotionless tone. It could sound like he was just being plainly cold, but he was actually concerned about his brother's sake. Kasuka would always look up for his brother. Not like as a role model or in a way a brother should, but as an example of what anger could do. What emotions could make one capable of. He himself had blocked most of his emotions or rather couldn't feel them, so it allowed him to think straight, using only the reasoning instead of acting on the heat of the moment. However, even though he had this critic view of his older, Shizuo was still his family. He somehow cared about him. Perhaps not as much as he should, but still... It was there. The concernment about the only brother he had.
"To be honest, I'm not sure. But it could be real, you know?" That was something he thought every day, but a part of him wanted to believe it was true. That someone out there didn't fear him and, perhaps, even loved him. "It will be fine. I'm not like in high school. If it turns out to be a shit I'm gonna kick their ass." Shizuo said reassuring his brother. Even though he himself wasn't sure of how it would turn out. Well, it wasn't like he was going to a war or in danger to die. In the worst scenario, someone would have their ass kicked. And most likely it would be Izaya.
"Well, I hope it's for real. For your own sake." Kasuka not changed his expression. Not even for a moment. Even though his tone seemed to be a little more kind now, his face still had the same apathetical expression. With Shizuo he didn't need to pretend having feelings or act like he'd always do. That was one of the good points of being with his brother at least. "Hm.. I gotta go now. I'll record a sequel from that last movie, so I should be going to the set. Take care."
Shizuo nodded to his brother and waved goodbye watching him leave. He didn't like when Kasuka worried about him, but it also felt nice to know he cared enough to give an advice. Though it should be him the mature one giving advices to the younger Heiwajima. Well... He wasn't the brightest lamp in town, so it quite made sense. At least he could still protect his brother with his despised strength when it's needed. That was all he could do really.
After that day, the messages became more and more rare. Shizuo wondered if something happened to the girl and kept sending her messages. When it had been already one week without any notices of her, he decided it was time to stop trying. Perhaps she changed her mind. Maybe someone told her how dangerous he could be. Well, it was nice while it lasted, right? The blond just laid in bed with a disappointed face. He felt like something was missing. Like a special part of his routine was taken away forever. He hated it. He hated feeling that way. "It sucks..." He murmured to himself, before closing his temples and drifting into sleep.
The other day, Shizuo did as usual. He got up from bed, dressed up one of his bartender suits and took his breakfast. Bread with strawberry jam, pudding and some milk. In his opinion that was most likely a good way to start the day in a good mood. Sweets always improved his mood. Checking on his messages, Shizuo noticed Tom had sent him a message telling him the next job would be on a pastry. Seems like the owner of it owed their boss some money. Well. Not bad. At least he could buy some treats. Yeah, that sounded like a plan.
With that thought in mind, Shizuo went to meet Tom at west gate as they agreed and from there they went to the next destination. It was a normal pastry. Just like all the others. Plain white painting on the outside and an advertisement with the name of the place. The showcase was filled with a big variety of different delicacies and cakes. Just the sight of such thing already made him anxious to eat some sweets. Well, the sooner they got over with this job, the sooner he could go for his treats.
It was a quick deal. The man had "forgotten" about the debt. Of course. Most of them use this excuse. It's such a cliché. Shizuo thought to himself as he kept looking around the place. Seeing the bodyguard was most of times a good incentive to make the clients pay and with this guy it couldn't be different. Seems like he knew the blonde's reputation based on the way he looked frightened at the bodyguard. Shizuo just ignored it as if that man wasn't even there. It was annoying to see people fearing him all the time. It wasn't like he thought they were wrong or had no reason to do so, but it still annoyed him. It reminded him or the monster he is. The monster that probably ruined his last chance to find love.
"I want a piece of this cake." Tom said with a smile on his face and pointing to a specific cake in display on the balcony. "How much is it?" Shizuo just blinked at the tanned man's request and then looked down to the cake he was pointing at and saw it was a strawberry cake. Usually his boss would go for something more healthy, but he wasn't one to judge. Perhaps he felt like eating something sweet as well. Shizuo scanned around the treats trying to find something for him. Since Tom was going to eat, he could at least make him company, right? "I want the chocolate one." Shizuo said bluntly, watching the owner nervously hand him a big slice of it. He probably wanted to please the blond so he wouldn't break his store... What kind of concept those people had of him?
When they were both settled on the table and having their respective treats, Tom looked to Shizuo resting his chin over one hand as he kept poking the cake with the fork using his other hand. "So, what's up? I noticed you've been a little down today. Is everything ok with your family? And Kasuka?" The blond was a little surprised, but not too much. After all he and Tom knew each other since high school. It made sense the other could read him better than most people. "It's nothing like that." He replied without giving details. It wasn't like he would go around talking about how he was left by his 'secret' admirer. Tom in the other hand, noticing that the bodyguard wouldn't explain things more than that, concluded he didn't want to talk about it. Perhaps it was something way too personal. Well, he wasn't going to insist. Even Tom was afraid of pissing Shizuo of, though he knew the other wouldn't hurt him. At least he was 99,999999...% sure.
After that, the rest of the day passed pretty quick. Tom didn't make any other unnecessary question and neither Shizuo spoke more than his usual. In fact, he was even quieter, but his boss just let him be. Sometimes people needed their own space and now it seemed like the blond really needed it. After the last work was concluded, the tanned man patted the bodyguard's shoulder and smiled. "That's all for today. Good work. See you tomorrow morning, ok?" "Mhm. See ya." Shizuo responded with a nod and waving goodbye to the other male at the same time he walked away. Finally that day was over and he could go home rest. It was a well deserved rest. He was exhausted. Even though the day wasn't that busy and he didn't do this much, he felt tired for some reason. Well, a long warm shower would take care of it. Hopefully.
As soon as he got inside his apartment, Shizuo went for that nice warm shower. He probably took longer than he should and he would feel it when the water bill came in next month, but he really needed it. The blond treated himself with some instant noodle and pudding for dessert while watching the news on tv. There was nothing really interesting in it and he wasn't really paying attention anyway, but at least it wouldn't be awfully quiet inside his home. It would come in his energy bill, but he barely staid home much, so he could at least give himself some tv time. Even if he wasn't watching it at all.
He finished eating and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Just when he started to wash the first plate a beep came from his phone. Shizuo didn't think it could be her. He'd convinced himself she wouldn't look for him anymore. It was less painful than feed expectations just to have it destroyed in the end. No, he didn't want that. However... The blond couldn't push away the thought that it could be her. Sighing a little annoyed, Shizuo left the dishes and went for his phone, flipped it open and checked his messages. For his surprise, not so surprising, it was indeed her. Shizuo could barely believe his eyes. Without a second thought he opened the mail to look it's content. He didn't even bother thinking what it could be about. He just had to know.
I'm sorry I haven't responded your messages... I was ill those last days and didn't want to bother you. I hope you didn't think I was rejecting you in any way. I hope we still can talk.
A soft smile graced his lips. It was a relief she didn't reject him, though he was worried about her being ill and hidding it from him. Shizuo messaged her asking about how she was and trying to know a little more about that girl. Indeed, it seemed like someone is really able to love a monster and monsters are able to love. What would Izaya say about that now, huh?