Newbie

Episode tag of sorts to 11:9 Gut Check

I'd been staring at the screen so long my eyes felt like they were full of grit; I could usually lose myself in a computer game, it was a strategy that had worked well when things got tough, or when I needed to work through a problem; it wasn't working tonight. My mind kept drifting back to the office, to Eleanor Bishop, a joint assignment they were calling it, but the way Gibbs was with her I didn't think it would be long before she became an agent, if that was what she wanted. Tony said he heard she'd applied to NCIS before, so I guess it was something she did want.

She looked like a good addition to the team, maybe a very good one, but I couldn't help thinking what it would mean for me, for my place on the team. It shouldn't be a problem, I know I make a contribution, a valuable one, but Ellie…does she have the same skills as me, is she going to take my role, and if she does, what's left for me?

I should be getting to bed, it's pretty late and tomorrow is a work day, it's what I should do only it would be a waste of time; I'm so wound up sleep is as far away as it was when I woke up this morning.

It wasn't a surprise that Gibbs was looking out for a new team member, Tony and I had talked about it more than once, the MCRT was a team of four, always had been. Looked like Gibbs was done waiting to bring the team back up to strength, the only surprise was he'd gone outside the agency, this time I thought for sure he'd recruit someone from inside NCIS, Tony had agreed with me, said it seemed the logical move...until Bishop.

Gibbs seemed to make up his mind real fast that he wanted to offer her the joint duty assignment, guess he's seen something in her and that's easy to do, she's a brilliant analyst, will that make her a good agent? Guess we'll find out. If she does a good job, and she will, I know it, he'll offer her a place on the MCRT, we need her or someone like her to balance the team, not just because she's a woman, because she'll bring a fresh perspective and we need that. It will be the right thing to do, but I can't stop thinking about my place on the team. Do her skills match mine too close? Will she take over the geek stuff and leave me...where?

I'm a good field agent but I'm damn good with computers, better than most, but am I better than her, will she put me in the shade, take away the one thing that makes me a cut above?

Listen to yourself McGee, wallowing in self-pity, man up and get on with your job, that's what Gibbs would say, he'd be right too. I don't have a God-given right to be on this team, when it's time for me to be moved on, if the team would be better without me...but I don't want to go. It feels like Tony and I are in a real good place right now, we almost read each other's minds, not always a good thing I guess, sometimes Tony's mind is a strange place...no, not true, he's who he is, and he's my best friend...my brother.

When I think back now to how I was when I first joined the team, man I was such a prize ass! The way I talked to Tony, asked him if he thought I was after his job, I was so patronising. I couldn't do his job then, or now. I do a good job, occasionally a great one, but it's not Tony's job, he's the only one who works the way he does, he brings something to the team no one else can...wish I could say the same. Anyone half-way competent on a computer could run the searches I do, and get the same results; in the field...I'm okay, but I could be better, never been able to develop that total awareness of everything around me that marks the great from the good, I try, give my best, it's all I can do, but when he sees me working alongside Bishop will Gibbs think my best is good enough?

Enough! I'm getting nowhere, going round and round, she's here, she'll fit in, and I'll deal with it...we'll deal; this must be tough for Tony too, after all if Bishop gets the desk, her desk, it will mean there's no coming back for Ziva, not with us. He's been doing great, the support group is good for him, and I like to think it's helped us get closer, without Ziva around he's calmer, kinder...I like this Tony, he's as good a friend as anyone could want. Pity I'm not a better friend to him, been so busy feeling sorry for Timothy McGee I forgot how much Bishop's appointment will impact on him. I should call him, see how he's doing...have to wait, someone's calling me.

"Hey Tim, it's pretty late, isn't it about time you switched off your computer?"

"How…how did you know Tony?"

"Where you're concerned I'm like Gibbs, I always know."

If he was trying to make me smile, it worked. "Always knew you'd turn into Gibbs one day."

"Seriously? Have you noticed me turning into a functional mute?"

"You got me! That's one thing you'll never have in common with him. So, how come you're calling so late?"

"No reason."

"You want to try again Tony?"

"Okay…she won't take your job Tim, she'd green as grass; all the analysis in the world won't tell you how to react in a gunfight, how to be part of a team, our team. I think maybe Bishop will be good, but she has a heck of a lot to learn."

"Like I did…I don't know how you put up with me back then, I was such a jackass."

"Guess I didn't exactly put out the welcome mat. We've come a long way; we're partners Tim, Bishop being here won't change that."

He sounded so certain, and I wanted so much for him to be right, just couldn't shake the idea she was already one step ahead of where I'd been when I joined the team. "She's really smart Tony, I'm pretty sure she'll learn faster than I ever did."

"Quit worrying; she has some catching up to do, don't forget when you joined the MCRT you'd already done your FLETC training, aced all your classes. Gibbs could see right away you were being wasted in Norfolk; first chance he got you were on the team. He picks good people Tim, you should trust him."

"I do Tony, after all, he picked you." I was being serious, but I could hear his quiet laugh.

"You think flattery will get you out of paying for lunch tomorrow, think again."

"Hey! I already paid twice this week."

"Then three times is the charm. Get some sleep Tim, it's up to us to be on top of our game, we've got a newbie to watch out for."

The End

Author's Note: Real life has been very challenging of late and I haven't been able to get much writing done. This update isn't exactly riveting I know, but I was getting worried that I was losing what little narrative flow this story had, so I just wanted to get something new written before I forgot how!

I'm hoping to have some more time to think in the coming weeks (she writes with fingers crossed) so I may yet get to finish the alphabet! My grateful thanks to all of you who are still reading.