Dean's stomach feels like it's plummeting, falling deep into the earth when his fingers close around Castiel's wrist. He can feel bones shifting under the thin layer of skin and he can't help but pull the wrist towards him to inspect it.

'Dean, no, Dean, please stop,' Cas is pleading and trying to pull out of his grasp but the other man is a shadow of his formal self and Dean easily keeps hold of the bony wrist in his hand. Jimmy was never a big guy but he'd been of athletic build, not thin, not gaunt. What the fuck?

'Cas, what…? Are you sick? How the hell have you lost so much weight?!' Dean knows he's shouting and being rough with Cas's arm but he can't help himself, terrified that Cas might be truly ill and desperately hurt that the ex-angel hadn't come to him to talk, had instead avoided him as much as possible.

'I don't k-know… D-dean, please stop,' Cas stutters out and Dean looks up from Cas's wrist to see that his friend is crying, silently shuddering as tears drop down his face, his blue eyes big and beautiful and utterly broken as he pleads with Dean to stop.

'Jesus, Cas… Well, why didn't you say anything? Shit, we better get you to a hospital. Sammy! Get the car running!' Dean called out as he pulled Cas up from the table with him, mind set on getting Cas checked out. Stupid, he chided himself, you should've thought, should've sent him for a full medical. What if Jimmy's body had cancer growing it and now…

'Dean!' Cas yelled in his ear, making him jump as Sam ran into the kitchen to see what was going on.

'Ow! Jesus, Cas, you tryin' to blow my ear drum?' Dean used his free hand to ineffectually cover his ear as Cas wriggled and pulled away from him.

'What the…? Dean, let go of Cas.' Dean rubbed his ear but otherwise ignored his brother. 'Dean! Let go of him!' Sam shouted at him and forcibly removed his hand from Cas's wrist, who whimpered gratefully and cradled his arm to his chest. Dean opened his mouth to shout at Sam but his little brother held up his hands in a placating gesture and moved the right hand a little, indicating Dean should stop reacting for a moment and just look at Castiel.

Dean felt sick at the sight of his former angel, shaking, crying, looking so small and vulnerable that he felt evil for upsetting him.

'I'm fine, Dean,' Cas said and sniffled a little, making Dean's heart twang uselessly in his chest, 'I do not require medical assistance. I-I shall rest now.' Cas bowed his head and shuffled towards the door, trying to bypass Dean as he went, like he was afraid Dean might suddenly lash out and hurt him. He looked at Sam, felt his eyes pleading with his brother to help him. Thank fuck that Sam was so proficient in Dean's expressions.

'Wait, Cas-' Sam reached out for Cas but stopped and smiled comfortingly as Castiel flinched away from his hand. 'Sorry, Cas, not trying to frighten you but,' Sam spared a glance at Dean who was resolutely staring at the tiled floor as his self-loathing screamed inside his head that he was cold, ruthless, evil, 'We need to sit down and talk.' Castiel hovered at the door, still gently clutching his arm to his chest, then his shoulders slumped and he nodded his ascent at Sam.

'Sam's right. Sit down, Cas,' Dean gestured towards the table, Sam nodding beside him. Cas sighed but went and sat down, the hunters settling down on the opposite side. Cas was looking at his hands and fiddling with his sleeves, Sam was looking between the former angel and his brother and Dean was grinding his teeth, trying to subjugate the urge to grab Cas, throw him over his shoulder then into the Impala and drag his ass to the nearest doctor. You could actually do that now, Dean thought sadly, as he watched Castiel, former warrior for the Lord, ex bad ass mofo, as he fidgeted and worried his bottom teeth with his lip. The guilt throbbed inside him as he dragged a hand through his scruff and opened his mouth to speak.

'Look, Cas-'

'I don't like eating,' Cas interrupted him, his usually gravel rough voice sounding meek and thin. 'It's disgusting and… it makes me feel… weak.' Cas lifted his gaze to Dean, desperation clear in his eyes, begging him to understand. Sam frowned.

'You don't like…? Well, that's ok, Cas, you just haven't found the stuff you like. Tell you what, why don't we go to the store and pick out-'

'No!' Cas interrupted Sam, banging his bony fists on the table, making both hunters jump. 'I don't want to eat! I shouldn't fucking have to!' Cas's voice rose, shouting angrily at the other men, 'I don't want to eat or shower or sleep or dream. I don't want any of it! This isn't what I am!' Cas slapped his hands down flat on the table top and stood up, 'I was a powerful angel and now… now,' Dean felt his heart break as Castiel's lower lip wobbled and two fat tears spilled from his sad blue eyes, 'now I'm useless. Pointless. I don't, I can't even…' He laughed bitterly and scrubbed his eyes with back of his hand. 'I don't know what to do.' The picture of a broken man, Cas slumped back down and held his head in his hands.

Before he knew what he was doing, Dean was sliding next to Cas and pulling the smaller man into a fierce hug, blinking back his own tears as he felt Cas shake in his arms.

'I'm so sorry, Cas. I would anything, anything, to make this right,' Dean spoke fiercely into Cas's hair and felt the man nod.

'I know you would, Dean,' Cas lifted his head, fixing Dean with the intense blue eyed stare Dean knew and lo- liked. 'I know you care.'

Sam bit his lip as his brother and Castiel stared each other, inwardly sighing when Dean suddenly blushed and pulled away and Cas's shoulders slumped. His brother really was clueless.