Chapter 8:
Then, almost as if fate was laughing at me, the elevator's televisions stopped playing the relay loops of the warden's ugly face and switched to the face of a blonde woman in a really ... immodest outfit and the elevator halted. The woman was about 5 feet and 7 inches tall, reasonably small, and about 140 lbs, not very heavy. She was built like a gymnast, and very pretty with her deep blue eyes and platinum blonde hair. The outfit she wore wasn't exactly the most proper looking costume, with a colour scheme of red, white and purple. It was made up of a cross between a nurses' uniform and a multicoloured leather outfit. First, her hair was pulled into two pigtails with red hairbands while a small, white cap lay fixed on her head with what I spotted to be two pins holding it down. Her face was covered in white face paint, which accented the a purple/black painted mask and her rouged lips. The main outfit consisted of a white blouse and a red corset with two purple bucklings crossing across the waist. A fake piece of purple was sowed into the corset so the ribbon corset contrasted even more bizarrely against it. Next came a white, pleated mini-skirt and a black belt that hugged her legs brilliantly. The bra was half purple on the left and half red on the left. Her legs were covered by fish net stockings and platform shoes that were like the bra with one shoe being purple and the other being red while her arms were covered with armbands and finger gloves that were similarly coloured by alternating on both sides. The look was finished off with a black choker around her neck and two bracelets on both hands like the choker in colour and design.
Harley Quinn aka the Joker's slut.
"Can you hear me? Is this thing on? Oh. Hiya, B-man! Harley Quinn here. How do you like my new uniform? Pretty hot, huh? Oh, I got something to show you. One second, B-man!" The whore skipped out of frame as I looked alarmed at Selena who was already at work prying off the top of the elevator's emergency exit on the roof of the cage.
"Ta da!" The tramp shoved a tied up warden towards the camera on a mobile office chair and boy was he not getting out of her clutches. The warden had a gag in his mouth to stop him from what I predict would be a whole load of insults at the slag. I keep insulting her, but I can't help it. What sort of person would get involved with a psychotic mass murderer who she's supposed to treat? It's sick, just sick!
"I'm now subbing for the old man. Old sharpie's never been happier! I case ya ain't figured it out, today's the Joker's big homecoming and you're the guest of honour!" The skank lay her leg over the warden's leg and bent his head so it was near touching her breasts. Talk about being a total whore! Seriously, if she's like this with a complete stranger, I don't even want to think about what she does with the Joker. Ew! However the close shot of the warden allowed me a look at the identification card on her uniform. I know that Clayface is locked up in the Asylum somewhere, but I could rationalise that this man was the real warden. That is definitely the warden's identification card, and I suppose that the tart also stole his cane as well as the one in her hand looks very familiar. Ok, the real warden is held hostage by a crazy psychopath. Great, just what I needed. Now Batman will go after her instead and not pursue me while I escape. Always look for a silver lining in a storm, since they're always worth while, that's an old saying that I've seen on a few vaguely inspiring posters littered on the walls of the hallways we just passed. Or in english, look on the bright side.
The screen flashed over to a shot of the somewhat dirty and ill-lit face of the infamous dark knight. Boy, he needs some sleep! "You have one chance to surrender, Quinn!" Oh, Batman, don't you ever lighten up? No? Well maybe the Joker will solve that little problem while I get the hell out of here.
The screen flashed back to the Joker's trick as she responded in a somewhat arrogant manner that really made me want to laugh. I mean come on, you're going against Batman! Crack a few puns like the rest of these nut jobs, or this shows going to flop just like you! "Tempting Bats but no dice. Now the inmates are running the asylum. Well, technically they're Joker's goons shipped in from Blackgate, but you get the idea. Bye, bye for now!" The harlot broke the screen with the warden's stick - maybe he was trying to compensate for something else - and the screen went dead.
"Come on! We're on Level A2, so we just have to climb one more level for freedom!" Selena flipped upwards and through the emergency exit as she said this. I followed her and found myself in a very filthy elevator shaft. Doesn't anyone ever clean in this place? I looked towards Selena who was by now halfway up an emergency ladder. "Come on dummy! Or do you want Joker to come visiting?" Oh, she is really getting on my nerves. When we get to the mainland, I've got to start coming up with a plan. Obviously she has it in her head that I'll come back with her, but I'm not a puppy on a lead. First I need to remember a hideout, somewhere safe to rest and hide while she tries to find her little pet. Second, I need information on Selena and me. I could probably sneak into city hall and get some from our files, or trade something for information from someone in the thieving circles. Thirdly, I'll need cash and a get away car. I'm getting the hell out of Gotham, it's too risky to stay. I'll go elsewhere, to a small town maybe and live the rest of my life not in bizarre costumes trying to stay ahead of psychopaths who are trying to kill me. I'll live in a small house, with a garden and maybe even a few security alarms just in case. I don't trust this woman any more she doesn't answer my questions and she's hiding something. How can I trust the information she's already given me? It all could be lies.
"Thinking about splitting when we get to the mainland?" Selena's voice nearly made me lose my footing as she pulled open the door of level A1 and went in. How did she know what I was planning? I quickly tried to feign a look of innocence but she saw straight through me. "I only asked because that is what you would normally do. You see, I know you far more then you think I do! You're thinking about getting away from me and running away out of Gotham as soon as we make it out of here. You're thinking that because I'm not answering some of your questions, that I'm not to be trusted while a little voice in your head is telling you to trust me. Am I right?" Damn it, she knows! The most likely scenario at this stage for her to use is to kill me, since even deception on paper is still deception. I could get a few of my jabs on her but its more likely she would know my fighting style pretty well and would counter it. Heck, she's far too strong an opponent to even try and go against. I'm stuck, S-T-U-C-K, stuck! I pulled myself up into the corridor from the ladder and found the room empty apart from a few bodies of some unfortunate guards who looked like they were taken down by a large party of inmates.
"So what are you now planning? A little fighting match against little old me? I'm flattered but I'm sure even in your slightly unhinged state; you know I could beat you quite easily. So then what? All I can see is checkmate!" what do I do? What do I do? Wait ... what would I not do? That will throw her off my scent. I need to stop acting like I normally would and start acting right out of character. Maybe ... no, it's useless. She'll see straight through it again. She's right, it's checkmate for me.
"Your name is Hailey, your middle name is Alice and I don't know your last name. Your sixteen years old. Your favourite book is 'Alice in Wonderland' by Lewis Carol, which you asked me to read to you about a thousand times. Your favourite character in it is the Queen of Hearts, hence this little change in names. Your favourite food is Creme Bule. Your measurements from the last time I saw you are 5 foot two inches in height and 113 lbs in weight. Your favourite colour is red. Do I need to go on?" how ... how does she know all that? Maybe she does know me, maybe I was wrong? No! I ... I can't ... I won't ... I wouldn't be wrong.
"My name is Selena and my last name is Kyle. I am twenty-one years old. My favourite book is 'great expectations' by Charles Dickens. My favourite character in it is Estella, who is both rich and willing to play cat and mouse with a boy's heart. My favourite food is tuna. My measurements are 5 foot 7 inches in height and 133 lbs in weight. My favourite colour is black. Is that enough information for you? But, that won't fully convince you ... that I know very well. It falls to reason then that I should then tell you what I've been hiding from you. Well, here it is; I only found you on my doorstep about seven years ago. I took you in, and it became clear to me that whoever you knew before that had trained you in every skill needed in order to be a villain. You knew how to pickpocket, crack safes, make elaborate traps and even how to disable a person without drawing a single drop of blood. The odd thing about it is that you claimed you didn't remember any part of your life before that night and that you didn't know who trained you. You were a born villain, Hailey, so I took you in and trained you up to become my replacement just in case I died. Then a year ago; you decided to take in a stray. A young girl off the street named Christiana, do you recall her?" I just stared at her in shock. This doesn't make sense, this can't make sense. I'm not a villain, I'm not! I'm not evil, I promise, I'm not a killer!
"Well, on the night of your grand disappearance, you decided to train her to become your sidekick but first you needed to test her. So you asked her to do a simple heist, just a low security jewellery store that wasn't very important. Well, something must of gone wrong and the police arrived. I don't know what happened next but after the showdown; it ended with Christiana getting shot through the chest twice causing her slow and agonising death. To say you were angry was an understatement of the year. After that you took it on yourself to avenge her, leading to your chain of kills that led to your incarnation here in this hell hole or at least that's what the media says!" I don't remember a Christiana, but my heart tells me that she's telling the truth. But I'm ... I'm not a killer. Wait ... perhaps someone was controlling me or pretending to be me. There's plenty of people in this asylum who'd be able to pull that off. I'm not a monster, a freak or a murderer. I'm innocent, just innocent of someone else's mind game. That's all, just an innocent. Nothing more ... just a victim. "Hailey, I know you would never kill and I promise that as soon as we get out of here I'll slice and dice the animal who framed you for their dirty work. I promise you that. After all, I'll always be here to protect you Hailey. Its my job! Now let's get out of here and get into Gotham. I don't know about you but I could use a good Italian pizza right now with extra sardines!" She giggled in a voice that sounded almost natural to her. I looked at her and smiled before letting go of the issue. For now, anyway.
We headed down another corridor before Selena finally spoke. "Now that you trust me, I need you to listen to me. If I get caught or if ... if I die, then try and contact Batman!" I tried to protest, I mean Batman? The Batman? He'd probably punch my lights out before I get a word in. But now that I trust her, I need to follow her instructions. "It's ok, Bats and me go way back. He'd look after you if I can't as a favour, and you'll be safe under his wing. Anyway, he couldn't resist trying to protect a damsel in distress if I know him like I think I do. Just take this and show it to him, then he'll know your a friend!" she passed me a folded up note that I placed in my left boot for storage as we stopped near a corner. Selena took a look around the next bend and I caught me breath a little. I'm a little out of shape, so would you be if you were cooped up in a little cell for about a month. Cooped, that's a funny word. Very funny ...
"What are you waiting for? I'm so close you can almost taste me!" The Joker's smarmy voice burrowed in my ear. Batman's close, probably on this very level. Therefore, so is Joker if you could smell him. Selena walked onward, and I finally got to see why she was cautious. A load of men, both inmate and guard, were littered around in a style that suggested that there was a battle here. Lime green spray paint was on the wall in the style of a slightly disturbing smile and on the floor as little luminous arrows. I followed the arrows with my eyes till I came to a door that looked locked.
"We'll have to use the vents again. Great! Did I ever tell you that being stuck in a vent is not how I would normally spend a day? Normally it's just spent robbing old, dusty museums or having a cat-nap." Very funny, Selena. Then I noticed something, the grate! It had been pulled off. Not good.
"Selena, the grates off! Someone's been here!" I hissed at her as she immediately went to investigate. She examined the grate carefully before replying.
"Batman, I'm sure of it. He always pulls off the grate instead of loosening the bolts. So, bats has been through here? That's ... entertaining!" she pounced into the vent without a care in the world. She must really have a good connection to Batman to think that he wouldn't booby trap the vent just in case. I suppose she thinks that it's not his style, maybe it isn't, but shouldn't she just check just in case? However, it wasn't my place to ask this. I had just nearly accused her of trying to deceive me, so I don't think criticism is the best route to regain her trust in my obedience. I crawled through the vent, trying not to think about what was on the floor, before light shimmered through a vent ahead. Selena got close to the vent before silently prying it off and putting it on the ground below with as little noise as possible. The room was large transport area, dirty as always, with two noticeable things that looked out of the ordinary.
One was a weird looking thing of some kind that I suspect is a throwing type of weapon. It was in the shape of a bat, with some alien looking gizmos attached to it. Black too. Then the second was the ugly body of what might be a mixture between a rotting corpse and a maggot. It wasn't pretty, to say the least. The guy looked unconscious, thankfully, with a slight indent to his head indicating a blow to the head. Both possibly the work of the dark knight. "Batman's been here, recently. Look, over there, his Batarang! There was a battle, Batman won. Wait ... Hailey get down quick!" her warning came just in time as a bullet headed towards the area where my head had just been had I not ducked. "No! Don't! We're not your enemy!" Selena yelled, ticked off, before our attacker replied.
"So what are you?" A guard. Alone possibly. And terrified out of his mind. Perfect, nice and maluable.
"Evacuees! I'm trying to get the girl out, Joker tried to take her for some experiment of sorts, can't you just open the shaft so we can find somewhere to hide. I promise we won't do anything funny, we just want to find somewhere safe!" Selena was lying through her polished teeth. Like the Joker would bother with someone like me!
"The Joker? He's just done down that very shaft, so it'll do you no good to go down to Extreme Isolation anyway. I'd like to help you ladies, since I know for a fact that that girl you're protecting is an inmate here and that she is a little simple at times so needs all the help she can get, but there's nothing I can do!" Selena nodded before looking at me with a stare that told me to act simple and go along with it. It was no problem. I just looked around with unfocused eyes before Selena talked. "An officer here, Boles, betrayed us. He's kidnapped the commissioner and teamed up with Harley Quinn. Batman went to save him. I know you're Catwoman, and I'm aware of the relationship you have with him, so if you want to do something useful then go and help him. I won't go after you, I know you're on our side for now, but that's the best advice you'd get for now!" Selena nodded before grabbing my hand and heading for the door. We started to run through several corridors bearing clues and hints that Batman made his way down here very recently.