Chapter 16:
Walking is annoying.
Seriously, it's freaking annoying and kills my feet. Not to mention I'm exhausted from having to fight everybody who thinks they're king of the Asylum. And hungry, don't forget hungry. Very hungry. I just hope we come across a cafeteria on this island really. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, where do they get that slop they call food from? I haven't seen a kitchen or anything like that, but I suppose they must get it boxed in from Gotham city. Which means; no food unless I strike lucky and get to today's shipment before anybody else does. Chances are unfortunately low though and I'll probably not get any yet. Perfect! No food. I might as well die.
"I apologise for this interruption to our regular broadcast. Jack Ryder is live from the Gotham Bay area with some breaking news!" a pretentious voice echoed off the walls through a compact device strategically positioned on a bench. What the hell is that? A speak-y box like a television but with no pretty pictures? What's the point? Pretty pictures are always worth my time and not having them just purely sucks. Stupid machine, stupid people as well for making it. Well, I don't want to have a rant against a non-atomic object but I just have to put that out there and leave it at that. Seriously, I am weird person … maybe a madhouse is where I truly belong. But, it would be so boring wouldn't it … yeah, I suppose it would be better if I break out of here and cause some mayhem. Just for kicks of course.
"This is Jack Ryder with breaking news in the Gotham bay!" obviously, the guy just said that. A bit slow on the uptake Jacky boy! "We're getting reports of an armed siege on Arkham Island. Two minutes ago, Joker broadcast to all new channels this chilling message!" leave it to the Joker to boast about his successes. And it's not just a 'armed siege' Jackie, it's more like 'The-jokers-gone-psycho-and-has-decided-to-have-a- party-while slaughtering-us-good/slightly bad but in a good way-guys'. However that's more of a mouthful so 'armed siege' it is.
"Greetings, Gotham. This is the voice of your new master. Oh, hang on … I've skipped a bit!", cue me chuckling to myself. What? It was funny! Not particularly gold flavoured comedy but funny all the same. Good old Joker, always knows how to cheer me up and put a smile on my face. Literally he'd do that. Just ask Boles! What? Too soon? "Joker here! I'm in control of Arkham Island and you can all consider it out-of-bounds. If I see any lawmen, vigilantes or do-gooders in tights coming this way; I'll start detonating random bombs around the city. What'll it be? A kindergarten? A hospital? A billionaire's mansion? Choices, choices, choices!" I have no idea what those things are but by the tone I suppose it's not good places for a bomb to go off. Great, trigger happy clown on the loose. Anything else the universe wants to throw at me today? Seriously annoying, I mean Gotham can't be that bad a place to have this sort of thing going on twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week? Or is it?
"All access to the island has been restricted, airspace is closed off and early reports suggest that Batman himself is trapped on the island. We'll be right here, reporting live on any developments. Back to the studio!" Thanks for stirring up panic Jackie boy! Really helpful. Seriously, what self-respecting person says 'oh and your only hope of not being conquered by a freak in a mask is very close to death, sleep tight'. You know, it must be so boring for these people going about their daily lives completely idiotic and looking for panic and misery. Fortunately, we have people with brains who can shake things up a little. Or is it unfortunately is some cases? Neutral then, I conclude.
"Thanks Jack. More as it happens!" The radio cut to some boring music that was quickly irritating on my ears. We moved on and I soon became bored with walking again. Who ever I was in my past life, I know that I Must have been very absent-minded and easy to be bored with. I always find a certain subject to enthuse about and then as quickly I move on to another, with the attention span of a very psychotic genius. But anyway, bored of that subject so let's switch to a name of what I'll call us merry crew. The Crazy Crime fighters? Lame. The Arkham Crew? Seen it. Batman and co? Not likely. So … what will it be? I know! The CHB, for both our acronyms and to stand for crazy-hot-bastards. Strange I know but so am I and I'm proud of it baby.
We pasted through a room I think must have been used for storage and I was suddenly hit by how the inmates around here are superbly good at wreaking and rampaging through things. Honestly; they threw documents everywhere, tipped over filing cabinets and even put a freaking chair on top of a crate. Why, you are asking? I have no idea but it's dedication I can appreciate! Well done guys!